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Slow news day, huh?

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I was thinking they really needed to tackle "why was that one ring so important in Lord of the Rings".

You jest, but they already kinda did it: The Entire Lord Of The Rings Story Finally Explained

To be fair, the only real stupidity is the word "finally". As a quick synopsis of a complex story with lots going on, it's actually not a bad summary. But "finally" implies that they're the first to do some herculean task, despite the fact that they are being neither original or clever.

Same thing with the RotJ article. Replace "Explained" with "Condensed" and you have a decent, quick summary for someone who may have only seen the movie 28 years ago , or who's kids just got heavily into Star Wars and needs a refresher. But "Explained" implies there's something difficult about it, which only makes the author sound like a pompous twit that's so far into the Dunning Kruger effect that they need to explain how watering works to a farmer.

Actually, now that I'm thinking about this (too much), it's almost like Looper has created a new version of the writing exercise where you add "only" to change the meaning of a sentence (e.g. She said she loved him. She said she loved only him. She only said she loved him. Et cetera.) Just add "finally explained" to make a new headline.

"Symptoms of Coronavirus"
"Symptoms of Coronavirus FINALLY EXPLAINED"
About darn time.

"The four crew members of the SpaceX Crew-2 mission"
"The four crew members of the SpaceX Crew-2 mission finally explained"
Previously, they only appeared in public wearing dark hoods to hide their identity. And they always walked single file, to hide their numbers.

"32 best quotes from Joss Whedon's Firefly"
"32 best quotes from Joss Whedon's Firefly finally explained".
Must be the ones in Mandarin.

Looks like Luke saved himself a few credits and used his light sabre to cut his hair. Apparently there isnt Supercuts or Fantastic Sams in a galaxy far, far away.


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