So I was more or less kicked out of my D&D group

[Pielorinho]

Since when did you have to RSVP to play D&D, to some people this is no more than a simple game, some people play this game the same as getting to gather to shoot some basketball on a Saturday afternoon. Show if you want to play, no big deal. This seems to be the situation as was given, in this situation calling ahead was well beyond what anybody else would do, whether he called ahead 10 days or ten minutes before the game started.

This is at the crux of my problem with the story. According to DC, other people flaked out and the DM didn't mind, but something about DC or the way he flaked out was the problem. The DM TOLD him that his flaking out was the problem.

Possibly, the DM is lying here; possibly, the problem is that the DM doesn't like DC (doesn't like DC's friends, doesn't like DC's attitudes, doesn't like DC's clothes -- who knows?) But it also seems possible to me that the DM ISN'T lying -- after all, I know that if I told someone I was mad because they were flaking out, I'd be telling the truth. And if the DM isn't lying, then there's a side to this story that we're just not getting.

But I also don't think we'll get that side of the story: DC has said he's not gonna tell the DM about this thread (and that the DM wouldn't check it out anyway), and he's not responded to the request to get another player's perspective in here.

And that's okay. Some things will remain mysteries forever. If I never find out whether the DM was lying about the flaking-out being the root of the problem, that's okay by me.

Daniel

 

[DarkCrisis]

Woah there sport when did I sai I would NOT tell the DM about this thread? Don't put words in my mouth.

Will I tell hi or another player to check out this thread though? Probably not.

Why?

"Hey people I don't play D&D with anymore could you come explain on the internet to a bunch of people who want the TRUE HOLLYWOOD FACTS?"

Yes I admit that you only get my POV. And you can think I'm telling half truths or out right lies.

Fact is the DM and I were good friends. I really can;t think what pissed him off. Maybe it was the book or the missed session or the friend or maybe he's been pissed since X-mas since I didn't get him an X-mas present. I HONESTLY can not think of anything i did to piss him off that was worth retaliation. I'm sure he feel sI did something seriously wrong. And from what I know of him I'm sure it's something minor yet I needed to be taught a lesson.

Anyways, I just felt like ranting. I didn't mean for this conversation to drag out over D&D ethics and how good/bad a player I am. Or if my honesty asa person needs to be called into question. I ws just letting off steam.

I found a new group (made up of old friends) that seems kinda fun (I'll be DMing! They better all show up!) though there are some problems already I'll try and get it all fleshed out and it will hopefully be fun =)

 

[jdavis]

This is at the crux of my problem with the story. According to DC, other people flaked out and the DM didn't mind, but something about DC or the way he flaked out was the problem. The DM TOLD him that his flaking out was the problem.


Daniel

I am still under the impression that the DM didn't mention it as a problem until after it had all blown up, if the DM had said it was a problem when he called to cancel then that would be a problem, but saying that was the problem the next week when you are confronted with people asking you what your problem is is a different story all together. If it was never stated as a problem when other people did it and was never stated as a problem when he called to cancel, then how come it became a big enough problem to give somebody the boot over after the fact? I agree 100% that we are not getting the full story, I just feel this was a silly excuse the DM used, not a actual problem.

Possibly, the DM is lying here; possibly, the problem is that the DM doesn't like DC (doesn't like DC's friends, doesn't like DC's attitudes, doesn't like DC's clothes -- who knows?)

If you take DC at his word that they had been gaming for a long time and were at least casual friends outside of the game (he did give the guy a computer, among other things, they had a relationship outside of D&D) then it becomes even stranger, would you break off a friendship over this? There has to be more to the story and I would figure that the actual problem had nothing to do with D&D, or that the DM has a tendency to overeact to small things.

But it also seems possible to me that the DM ISN'T lying -- after all, I know that if I told someone I was mad because they were flaking out, I'd be telling the truth. And if the DM isn't lying, then there's a side to this story that we're just not getting.

That is a very noble and vary rare trait, most people are wishy washy about saying what is actually on there mind, and it is extremely possible the DM was just throwing that out as a excuse, I would figure that is a much greater possibility based on the way people tend to act. I'm sure you wouldn't of taken your frustrations out on somebody "in character" during the game, you would of taken them aside and fix the problem. If the DM was anything like the way you present yourself here then none of this would of ever been a problem, you would of taken care of it, but you can't put yourself in this guys shoes, this guy was pretty irrational (that is obvious even without his side of the story given), why would he all the sudden be rational and straight forward later after the fact, when he acted irrationally for weeks before?

But I also don't think we'll get that side of the story:

And that's okay. Some things will remain mysteries forever. If I never find out whether the DM was lying about the flaking-out being the root of the problem, that's okay by me.

Agreed 100% on this.

 

[jdavis]

Woah there sport when did I sai I would NOT tell the DM about this thread? Don't put words in my mouth.

Will I tell hi or another player to check out this thread though? Probably not.

Why?

"Hey people I don't play D&D with anymore could you come explain on the internet to a bunch of people who want the TRUE HOLLYWOOD FACTS?"

Yes I admit that you only get my POV. And you can think I'm telling half truths or out right lies.

Fact is the DM and I were good friends. I really can;t think what pissed him off. Maybe it was the book or the missed session or the friend or maybe he's been pissed since X-mas since I didn't get him an X-mas present. I HONESTLY can not think of anything i did to piss him off that was worth retaliation. I'm sure he feel sI did something seriously wrong. And from what I know of him I'm sure it's something minor yet I needed to be taught a lesson.

Anyways, I just felt like ranting. I didn't mean for this conversation to drag out over D&D ethics and how good/bad a player I am. Or if my honesty asa person needs to be called into question. I ws just letting off steam.

I found a new group (made up of old friends) that seems kinda fun (I'll be DMing! They better all show up!) though there are some problems already I'll try and get it all fleshed out and it will hopefully be fun =)

I think you just became the catalyst for a broader discussion. I wouldn't take any of this serious (the good or the bad). Most of the replies are in the "how I would feel or react" vien, not in the "who is actually to blame" vien, you are just a catalyst stuck in the middle of a larger deeper discussion on what is acceptable behavior.

Glad you found another group.

 

[Pielorinho]

Woah there sport when did I sai I would NOT tell the DM about this thread?

Well, besides in your very next paragraph:

Will I tell hi or another player to check out this thread though? Probably not.

we'd had the following exchange earlier:

Me: I would like to see what the DM has to say in his own defense. DarkCrisis, do you feel like sending him a link to this thread, so that he can speak up on his own behalf?

DC: ---He doesn't like computers. I gave him an old Pentium but he rarely touches it.

I took that as a denial of my request. Sport.

I'm sorry if you think I'm calling your honesty as a person into question. I'm doing something slightly different: I'm saying that the story as told to us doesn't make sense to me. And you've said it doesn't make sense to you, either, so I'm not sure why it bothers you for me to say that.

I AM saying that perhaps there's more going on here than what we're getting from your side of the story. I doubt that it's because you're lying, but by you're own admission you don't understand why the DM freaked out at you; I simply think there may be something you're not perceiving here.

And since you've found a new group, it's immaterial.

I'm not, once again, calling you a liar. Just to be clear on that.
Daniel

 

[DarkCrisis]

Hehe I didn't mean to imply that any specific person was saying i was lying or telling half truths I was just speaking in general.