So I was more or less kicked out of my D&D group

[tburdett]

Are you normally this polite and cheery? If I had a DM stat some crap about "social contract" I would laugh in his face.

Get a life, this is a GAME.

I spent a considerable amount of time on a message explaining the need for, and existance of, social contracts in day to day life and then decided that it's just not worth the time or effort for someone who obviously doesn't care.

It's rather simple. People are either considerate, or they're not. A considerate person does not take actions that adversely effect those around them merely for their own personal convienience.

You have to remember that each person in a group has made the commitment to show up regularly and they often pass up other opportunities to attend. Blowing off a session to 'get the house to yourself' is not considerate at all. Period.

Yes, it's just a game, but it's a game that relies heavily upon the participation of all players, not just those who decide to show up regularly.

 

[Stone Angel]

Just wanted to chime in and say that I agree that the dm is a dick, and I am glad that you are out of there. I mean hey a Forsaker with a cursed chain around his neck sounds like a cool role playing oppurtunity to me. Anyway hopefully there game runs smoother though I doubt it, and you find a group that you like. You don't happen to live in Indiana do you, I'm looking to start a new group.

 

[LostSoul]

You have to remember that each person in a group has made the commitment to show up regularly and they often pass up other opportunities to attend. Blowing off a session to 'get the house to yourself' is not considerate at all.

Well, it's like a group of friends who gets together each friday night for dinner and drinks or something. Most of the time, not everyone shows up and nobody seems to mind. So our hero Dark Crisis, taking a cue from the others, decides that he'd rather spend time alone and lets the others know this. So far he's done nothing that others haven't done. And he gets blasted for it.

 

[La Bete]

Well, it's like a group of friends who gets together each friday night for dinner and drinks or something. Most of the time, not everyone shows up and nobody seems to mind. So our hero Dark Crisis, taking a cue from the others, decides that he'd rather spend time alone and lets the others know this. So far he's done nothing that others haven't done. And he gets blasted for it.

Ok I'll bite again. This is pretty close to my view. As far as I can tell, most reasonable people adapt their behaviour to the people around them.

Pielorinho, SHARK, et. al, your points are valid. If I was a player in your game (somewhat geographically difficult), knowing that a lot of work was put into them, and that you expected to get as much notice as possible if I had to skip a game, of course I would make a great effort to get to the game.

On the other hand, if I had been at a couple of sessions of your game when other players had not turned up, and the GM just shrugged and said "I dunno where they are, lets carry on - roll for initiative Mr Meat-snack", I would get the impression that if I called ahead the night before and said something like "Sorry, I cant make the game tomorrow, is that OK?", that would be being fairly courteous and respectful.

Disclaimer: Naturally, DC has been a little biased (OK a lot), so of course we dont know the whole story. Maybe the GM just thinks that DC is the disease, and he's the cure. And DC's writing style doesnt exactly lend toward sympathy.

 

[Gizzard]

Just a random question:

How long did DC play in this campaign? I assumed that it ran for quite some time since he had an 8th level Rogue. It puts a different spin on things if this badness was something that happened over 3 sessions or over 50 sessions.

 

[DarkCrisis]

Giz, I've been there quite awhile. Since it began. Only after I was skimming through the book did things turn for the worse.

And I know everything is from my PoV. But Im a very objective person if I make a mistake I can admit it. I can look at my actions and determine if I screwed up. I really can't see what I did to piss the DM off so much. the only thing aside from the book and missed I did that doesnt make him happy was talking to that guy that he hates. It's like I have to choose between to friends which is somethig Im not going to do.

 

[Zelda Themelin]

the only thing aside from the book and missed I did that doesnt make him happy was talking to that guy that he hates. It's like I have to choose between to friends which is somethig Im not going to do.

Mmh, that might just be it. I have certain "friends", that wouldn't need anything more to get them seriously pissed.

A) What if he happens to hate d20 Modern with a passion? Some people I know see red when somebody admits liking game system they hate, so that's always possibility.

B) You being friendly with somebody he hates is another reason why he could be angry to you. Some people think real friends share same enemies, same pet peaves, and same likings. Maybe he is jealous.

C) Maybe he has bad week/month and silent critisicm and bored looks around gaming sessions pushed the wrong buttons.

People are weird. You probably never heard his explanation, not the real reasons anyway.

Hopefully you make peace with him or find a new gaming group.

When you find out people's tendercies to be vengeful like this, its really hard to tell, whetever it's temporaly or person's constant nature.

Some people get along fine as friends, but are not meant to be friends with whom one would want to play rpg:s with.

 

[mythago]

Get a life, this is a GAME.

Ah, but you see, young'un, when you HAVE a life, then it's not just a game. It's a chunk of several hours taken out of my schedule and invested in that game.

Maybe YOU and your group had nothing better to do than watch Buffy re-runs, so it doesn't matter if half the group shows up, or if the GM is throwing together a half-assed rip-off of "Keep on the Borderlands." But I have a life, and the schedule that goes with it, so pardon me all to Limbo if I do, indeed, believe you owe your GM or your fellow players more than gracing them with your occasional presence at whim.

Which means that as a GM, I expect my players to have some respect for the amount of time, effort and planning I put into putting on the campaign for them. As a player, I expect the GM to present a decent game for those of us who show up regularly.

Well, it's like a group of friends who gets together each friday night for dinner and drinks or something.

See, this works for a Friday night "Show up, BYOB and we'll order take-out" kind of dinner. It doesn't work if you're talking about a sit-down dinner where the host is preparing the main dish, and everyone else brings a salad or dessert.

Because in THAT situation, when you blow off the host, you're making him waste time, money and effort on preparing food you said you were going to be there to eat. And you certainly would be upset if you showed up at the host's house and nobody was home, or if your "dinner" turned out to be leftover Hamburger Helper that the host's kids didn't want.

 

[jdavis]

See, this works for a Friday night "Show up, BYOB and we'll order take-out" kind of dinner. It doesn't work if you're talking about a sit-down dinner where the host is preparing the main dish, and everyone else brings a salad or dessert.

Yes and the game can be played both ways, it's a matter of perspective.

I am older and my time is very limited, as is all the other people that I game with, D&D is the only group get together left for me and my friends, it is expected that you won't show up every session because you have a wife and kids and a job and those things take precedece over D&D. We don't argue or gripe over missing we are thankful to get to play at all, we make the best of it. For some people it is more important and some people it is less important, for us it is a luxury to get to play at all under any circumstances. And make no mistake this is a game, D&D should never be more important than your real life. I hear so many people here say "my players better not miss", well if I am taking my family on vaction, then I'm going to miss, I'm not going to cancel a trip for D&D, If one of the players gets called in to work, well he's going to work, if his beeper goes off he drops his dice, grabs his stuff and goes to work, If my child is sick then I am going to stay at home with my sick child, sorry. I can understand people getting mad at people blowing sessions off, but you have to expect that real life will rear it's ugly head once in a while. And sometimes people just get burned out and need a night off from gaming, it happens, they are not bad people. I do understand about it being a pain in the butt when people miss but take the same example and apply it in the same way as D&D, if you had a formal dinner party every week you would have to expect that not everybody would be able to show up every single week to eat, D&D is not a barbecue or a dinner or a formal social event, it is something that happens over and over, for most people once a week.

It seems a better analogy to what I keep hearing is that D&D is like a college night class, it meets once a week and if you miss it you don't get the notes and if you miss too often you get your grade dropped. "Be there or else". The teacher puts a lot of work into the class, they expect you to participate in the class, it is expected that you will pay attention in the class, if you miss the class you may miss a pop quiz or a important lecture. The class meets every week at the same time, your attendance is manditory. Why should you be suprised when some people don't agree to gaming like this, if you like it that's fine but some people don't want D&D to become a chore or a manditory event in their lives, this doesn't mean that they don't enjoy the game any less or that they don't take the game as serious, it just means that they don't want the game to become "like work or school". If you enjoy playing this way then there is absolutly nothing in the world wrong with it (heck I wish I could game this way), but there is absolutly nothing in the world wrong with not wanting to game this way either. It's all about percertion and interpetation and in no way about who's right and who's wrong.

 

[booboo]

if i was the DM I would have told you to stop looking at the book or your out. Not acting like some little coward by not saying whats on my mined.