dragonhead
First Post
Funny!!!! 
song parodies
- Thread starter dragonhead
- Start date
Thunderfoot
Hero
In light of recent events I post the following: As a public service announcement, please note that this post is for humor's sake, if you believe anything contained within, please get your head examined. - Thank You.
THE 4TH EDITION SONG
(To the tune of “The Phantom of the Opera (Extended Version))
GAMERS
At GenCon gaming fair, WotC they came …
And in a voice so clear, they did proclaim …
The game you love so dear is out of date,
The new edition rules have finally come, to our planning slate …
WotC
Come once again with us, both far and near …
We bring a rules update, to shrink and clear …
All forms of mass debate, these work real fine
The 4th Edition’s finally on its way, so get in line …
GAMERS
But WotC can’t you see, it’s way too soon …
Don’t you fear the fan hate?
WotC
No you will swoon…
BOTH
These rules are simplified, you will be floored
The 4th Edition’s finally on its way, so get on board.
OFFSTAGE VOICES
It's here, the long awaited 4th Edition …
So go and buy the newer 4th Edition …
WotC
So clean your bank accounts, it’s time again,
To buy a whole new line
GAMERS
We’re off to spend
BOTH
And as the time draws near, prepare again
Because the 4.5 Edition comes, in twenty-ten.
WotC
Buy my minions of gaming!
GAMERS & OFFSTAGE VOICES
It's here, the long awaited 4th Edition …
So go and buy the newer 4th Edition …
THE 4TH EDITION SONG
(To the tune of “The Phantom of the Opera (Extended Version))
GAMERS
At GenCon gaming fair, WotC they came …
And in a voice so clear, they did proclaim …
The game you love so dear is out of date,
The new edition rules have finally come, to our planning slate …
WotC
Come once again with us, both far and near …
We bring a rules update, to shrink and clear …
All forms of mass debate, these work real fine
The 4th Edition’s finally on its way, so get in line …
GAMERS
But WotC can’t you see, it’s way too soon …
Don’t you fear the fan hate?
WotC
No you will swoon…
BOTH
These rules are simplified, you will be floored
The 4th Edition’s finally on its way, so get on board.
OFFSTAGE VOICES
It's here, the long awaited 4th Edition …
So go and buy the newer 4th Edition …
WotC
So clean your bank accounts, it’s time again,
To buy a whole new line
GAMERS
We’re off to spend
BOTH
And as the time draws near, prepare again
Because the 4.5 Edition comes, in twenty-ten.
WotC
Buy my minions of gaming!
GAMERS & OFFSTAGE VOICES
It's here, the long awaited 4th Edition …
So go and buy the newer 4th Edition …
Last edited:
Goldmoon
First Post
My apologies to Sandi Thom for butchering her beautiful song.
To the tune of "Oh I wish I was a Punk Rocker (With flowers in my hair)"
Oh I wish I was a first ed. guy when T.H.A.C.0 was still there
From ’77 to ’79 the name Gygax filled the air
I wasn’t even rolled, a mouse click and I had hair
Oh I wish I was a first ed. guy when T.H.A.C.0 was still there
When there was no such thing as a “build”
Not everybody could dual wield
When Rangers didn’t suck and elves could still be cool.
When munchkins didn't have control
And magic items couldn't buy your soul
And Dragons were still scary and we didn't know every rule
[Chorus]
When playing Bards remained a myth
And Monks started with 2d6
And if you saved the queen it was a truly epic thing
At 9th my fighter was a lord
My wizards couldn’t use a sword
And the only way to stay alive were tactics and a team
[Chorus]
When gaming stores were still on top
And RPG’s were all that they stocked
And the thought of getting books online was still so far away
Games were only books and dice
And a good game still ran through the night
And DM’s didn’t have to ban a new feat every day.
[Chorus]
I wasn’t even rolled, a mouse click and I had hair
Oh I wish I was a first ed. guy when T.H.A.C.0 was still there
To the tune of "Oh I wish I was a Punk Rocker (With flowers in my hair)"
Oh I wish I was a first ed. guy when T.H.A.C.0 was still there
From ’77 to ’79 the name Gygax filled the air
I wasn’t even rolled, a mouse click and I had hair
Oh I wish I was a first ed. guy when T.H.A.C.0 was still there
When there was no such thing as a “build”
Not everybody could dual wield
When Rangers didn’t suck and elves could still be cool.
When munchkins didn't have control
And magic items couldn't buy your soul
And Dragons were still scary and we didn't know every rule
[Chorus]
When playing Bards remained a myth
And Monks started with 2d6
And if you saved the queen it was a truly epic thing
At 9th my fighter was a lord
My wizards couldn’t use a sword
And the only way to stay alive were tactics and a team
[Chorus]
When gaming stores were still on top
And RPG’s were all that they stocked
And the thought of getting books online was still so far away
Games were only books and dice
And a good game still ran through the night
And DM’s didn’t have to ban a new feat every day.
[Chorus]
I wasn’t even rolled, a mouse click and I had hair
Oh I wish I was a first ed. guy when T.H.A.C.0 was still there
Thunderfoot
Hero
*Sniff* Beautiful! I need to be alone now.
Stormborn
Explorer
Some of the rhymes and rthyms are forced, but they are on the original as well:
Sung to the tune of Cowboy by Kid Rock:
DWARFBOY
Dwarfboy...Dwarfboy...
Well I'm ready for the game and I'm gonna be the best
Where real dwarves come with beards and the dungeons filled with chests
Find a cave in the hills, pray to Mordain
Turn undead with the cry “Here comes the pain!”
And I'm a Dwarfboy all around the mine
With big nasty axe and a bottle of spacebrine
When it comes to XP well I’m getting’ the most
Cause my foes are dead and I gotta right to boast
Got me a couple of friends and a couple of scars
Got some in the dungeon but most of ‘em in bars
Skip the exposition!…I wanna fight
Got racial darkvision and I’m ready to smite!
Start an holy order when I get to the right level
’Cause we are headed to hell to hunt us a devil
Born under rock, a hammer for my first toy
And I’m at home underground sucker...cause I was born to be a
Dwarfboy baby
With my Con maxed out and my fullplate shinin’
Dwarfboy baby
Axe is swingin’ and spells are flyin’
I gotta be a Dwarfboy baby
Sleep at night so I get my spells next day
Dwarfboy (baby)
I can smell an orc from a mile away
I bet you'll hear them all crying when the rolls come in
Cause I got an 18 Strength and I’m ready to win
Stone cuttin’, steel slinging, son of the hills
When I get hungy adventurin’ pays the bills
Corset and buckler, axe and sword
Gems and statues, coins laid in hoard
And when the time is right I'm gonna make my bid boy
And let the ta-nar-ri’i know why they call me
Dwarfboy baby
With my Con maxed out and my fullplate shinin’
Dwarfboy baby
Axe is swingin’ and spells are flyin’
I gotta be a Dwarfboy baby
Sleep at night so I get my spells next day
Dwarfboy baby
I can smell an orc from a mile away
Yeah...Son of the Rock...but you can call me Ulgar
Got a long quest ahead of me, guess we will see how far
Raid the goblin lair and make for the pass
Meet up with a giant show him my axe
No kiddin', spell slingin', foes hittin' the floor
Call me Hoss, I'm the Boss, soakin’ up the damage of course
No remorse for the zombie, skeleton, or wight
I'm turnin’ undead, and I can do it all night HUH
Fight all chaos, every cultist and deus
If the DM doesn’t like it she can find new players
Call out a challenge, see if we have any takers
They told us to leave, but bet they can't make us
Just cause I’m short you think you can pick on me...roll initiative and then we’ll see
But I ain't no munchkin, I’m a regular player
Drink Mountain Dew and quote from the Vampire Slayer
Talk like a Scot, take my turn, get in my lick
My only words of wisdom are just “Grandma Edit”
I'm send my cash to that Coast and
Keep on keep on playing until 8th edition!
Dwarfboy baby
With my Con maxed out and my fullplate shinin’
Dwarfboy baby
Axe is swingin’ and spells are flyin’
I gotta be a Dwarfboy baby
Sleep at night so I get my spells next day
Dwarfboy baby
I can smell an orc from a mile away
Dwarfboy baby
With my Con maxed out and my fullplate shinin’
Dwarfboy baby
With my Con maxed out and my fullplate shinin’
Dwarfboy
”It must be mine!”
Sung to the tune of Cowboy by Kid Rock:
DWARFBOY
Dwarfboy...Dwarfboy...
Well I'm ready for the game and I'm gonna be the best
Where real dwarves come with beards and the dungeons filled with chests
Find a cave in the hills, pray to Mordain
Turn undead with the cry “Here comes the pain!”
And I'm a Dwarfboy all around the mine
With big nasty axe and a bottle of spacebrine
When it comes to XP well I’m getting’ the most
Cause my foes are dead and I gotta right to boast
Got me a couple of friends and a couple of scars
Got some in the dungeon but most of ‘em in bars
Skip the exposition!…I wanna fight
Got racial darkvision and I’m ready to smite!
Start an holy order when I get to the right level
’Cause we are headed to hell to hunt us a devil
Born under rock, a hammer for my first toy
And I’m at home underground sucker...cause I was born to be a
Dwarfboy baby
With my Con maxed out and my fullplate shinin’
Dwarfboy baby
Axe is swingin’ and spells are flyin’
I gotta be a Dwarfboy baby
Sleep at night so I get my spells next day
Dwarfboy (baby)
I can smell an orc from a mile away
I bet you'll hear them all crying when the rolls come in
Cause I got an 18 Strength and I’m ready to win
Stone cuttin’, steel slinging, son of the hills
When I get hungy adventurin’ pays the bills
Corset and buckler, axe and sword
Gems and statues, coins laid in hoard
And when the time is right I'm gonna make my bid boy
And let the ta-nar-ri’i know why they call me
Dwarfboy baby
With my Con maxed out and my fullplate shinin’
Dwarfboy baby
Axe is swingin’ and spells are flyin’
I gotta be a Dwarfboy baby
Sleep at night so I get my spells next day
Dwarfboy baby
I can smell an orc from a mile away
Yeah...Son of the Rock...but you can call me Ulgar
Got a long quest ahead of me, guess we will see how far
Raid the goblin lair and make for the pass
Meet up with a giant show him my axe
No kiddin', spell slingin', foes hittin' the floor
Call me Hoss, I'm the Boss, soakin’ up the damage of course
No remorse for the zombie, skeleton, or wight
I'm turnin’ undead, and I can do it all night HUH
Fight all chaos, every cultist and deus
If the DM doesn’t like it she can find new players
Call out a challenge, see if we have any takers
They told us to leave, but bet they can't make us
Just cause I’m short you think you can pick on me...roll initiative and then we’ll see
But I ain't no munchkin, I’m a regular player
Drink Mountain Dew and quote from the Vampire Slayer
Talk like a Scot, take my turn, get in my lick
My only words of wisdom are just “Grandma Edit”
I'm send my cash to that Coast and
Keep on keep on playing until 8th edition!
Dwarfboy baby
With my Con maxed out and my fullplate shinin’
Dwarfboy baby
Axe is swingin’ and spells are flyin’
I gotta be a Dwarfboy baby
Sleep at night so I get my spells next day
Dwarfboy baby
I can smell an orc from a mile away
Dwarfboy baby
With my Con maxed out and my fullplate shinin’
Dwarfboy baby
With my Con maxed out and my fullplate shinin’
Dwarfboy
”It must be mine!”
Winding Road
First Post
Still D&D To Me
I posted this filk based off Billy Joel's "It's Still Rock and Roll To Me" over in the 4E forum. Firelance and RedShirtNo5 also have their own versions. The thread can be found here.
"Still D&D To Me"
What's the matter with the rules I'm using?
Can't you tell that it‘s time for 4E?
Are my books going be obsoleted?
Welcome back to 2003.
Where have you been hidin' out lately, honey?
You can't update ‘till you spend a lot of money.
Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new game
Funny, but it's still D&D to me
What's the matter with my campaign setting?
Can't you tell that it's out of print?
Should I try and play some Living Greyhawk?
It‘s gonna end; can‘t you take the hint?
Nowadays you can't be too sentimental
Go all “Points of Light”, with no planes elemental
Eberron, Dark Sun, even revamped Faerun
It's still D&D to me
Oh, it doesn't matter what they say on the forums
'Cause it's always been the same old scene.
There's a new game in town
But you can't get the rules from a printed Dragon magazine...
Aimed at your average PC
How about playing a tiefling warlock
Or an eladrin warlord too?
If you wanna be a gnome bard, baby
Gotta wait for the PHB 2
Don't wait around for a new SRD,
You’ll get it all at Gleemax (for a small monthly fee)
Bad move? Who‘s to say? In the end, anyways
It's still D&D to me
What's the matter with the crowd I play with?
Don't you know that they're out of touch?
Shouldn't try to be a old-school grognard?
If you are then you think too much.
Don't you know about the new edition, honey?
All you need are dice and a whole lotta money.
Goodbye, 3E, say hello to 4E,
It's still D&D to me.
Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new game
Funny, but it's still D&D to me
I posted this filk based off Billy Joel's "It's Still Rock and Roll To Me" over in the 4E forum. Firelance and RedShirtNo5 also have their own versions. The thread can be found here.
"Still D&D To Me"
What's the matter with the rules I'm using?
Can't you tell that it‘s time for 4E?
Are my books going be obsoleted?
Welcome back to 2003.
Where have you been hidin' out lately, honey?
You can't update ‘till you spend a lot of money.
Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new game
Funny, but it's still D&D to me
What's the matter with my campaign setting?
Can't you tell that it's out of print?
Should I try and play some Living Greyhawk?
It‘s gonna end; can‘t you take the hint?
Nowadays you can't be too sentimental
Go all “Points of Light”, with no planes elemental
Eberron, Dark Sun, even revamped Faerun
It's still D&D to me
Oh, it doesn't matter what they say on the forums
'Cause it's always been the same old scene.
There's a new game in town
But you can't get the rules from a printed Dragon magazine...
Aimed at your average PC
How about playing a tiefling warlock
Or an eladrin warlord too?
If you wanna be a gnome bard, baby
Gotta wait for the PHB 2
Don't wait around for a new SRD,
You’ll get it all at Gleemax (for a small monthly fee)
Bad move? Who‘s to say? In the end, anyways
It's still D&D to me
What's the matter with the crowd I play with?
Don't you know that they're out of touch?
Shouldn't try to be a old-school grognard?
If you are then you think too much.
Don't you know about the new edition, honey?
All you need are dice and a whole lotta money.
Goodbye, 3E, say hello to 4E,
It's still D&D to me.
Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new game
Funny, but it's still D&D to me
Lanefan
Victoria Rules
OK, now you guys are talking *my* language! I've been doing these rewordings since before I ever heard of D+D (in other words, a very long time), and the game has crept in to a few here and there...
This one came after a string of rather acrimonious sessions...
===============================================================
Dungeonmasters' Theme (rewords All the Fools Sailed Away, by Dio - Aug 27 87)
There is no harmony
Tune or rhythm in the game of fantasy
To our eternal shame
I never fail to be astounded by the tings we do so serious
For a game
We are the innocent
We are the damned
We are caught in the middle of their madness
Trying to do the best job that we can, ah, ah
We bring them fantasy
We bring them pain
We're their one escape from reality
Until we disappear, never to be seen again
* All these fools, came to play
* All these fools, came to play
* All these fools, came to play
* Came to play
We show you beautiful
We teach you sin
Just when you think you're a piece of our universe
Then we disappear, never to be seen again
*
To our eternal shame
I never fail to be astounded by the things we do so serious
For a GAME!
We are the innocent
We only bleed
Stuill we're your one great chance for a miracle
When a miracle is something that you need
We give you diamonds
Enchanted steel
And we're caught in the middle of the madness
The pain begins
When fantasy becomes too real, yeah
*
Not worth nothing, one thing more to say
('bout) All those fools came to play
They say they're tolerant
And they'll always let you in
But doors are never open
To the ones who came to play to win
Fantasy,
Fantasy...
=============================================================
Lanefan
This one came after a string of rather acrimonious sessions...
===============================================================
Dungeonmasters' Theme (rewords All the Fools Sailed Away, by Dio - Aug 27 87)
There is no harmony
Tune or rhythm in the game of fantasy
To our eternal shame
I never fail to be astounded by the tings we do so serious
For a game
We are the innocent
We are the damned
We are caught in the middle of their madness
Trying to do the best job that we can, ah, ah
We bring them fantasy
We bring them pain
We're their one escape from reality
Until we disappear, never to be seen again
* All these fools, came to play
* All these fools, came to play
* All these fools, came to play
* Came to play
We show you beautiful
We teach you sin
Just when you think you're a piece of our universe
Then we disappear, never to be seen again
*
To our eternal shame
I never fail to be astounded by the things we do so serious
For a GAME!
We are the innocent
We only bleed
Stuill we're your one great chance for a miracle
When a miracle is something that you need
We give you diamonds
Enchanted steel
And we're caught in the middle of the madness
The pain begins
When fantasy becomes too real, yeah
*
Not worth nothing, one thing more to say
('bout) All those fools came to play
They say they're tolerant
And they'll always let you in
But doors are never open
To the ones who came to play to win
Fantasy,
Fantasy...
=============================================================
Lanefan
Lanefan
Victoria Rules
Another one from the same era....
This one hails to the red-shirts - now called mooks - who go in to the dungeon and for some reason just never come out.
=============================================================
Cannon Fodder (rewords Double Trouble, by The Cars - Oct 24 87)
They got a line on you
Send you forward two by two
You got your hopes and dreams
Disappear insidious screams
Don't give no trouble
Just do what you're told
Cannon fodder
You're in trouble
But they promised gold
Cannon fodder
So much for hopes and dreams
Dead companion's armour gleams
Sure got the short sharp end
All your experience waste expend
Don't be no trouble
Just do what you're told
Cannon fodder
There ain't no trouble
Doing what you're told
Cannon fodder
You give all you have to give
Give your life so the boss can live
You weren't no trouble
You did what you're told
Cannon fodder
Death's no trouble
And they promised gold
Cannon fodder
It ain't no trouble
Doing what you're told
Cannon fodder
But get in trouble
And you might get old
Cannon fodder
=========================================================
Lanefan
This one hails to the red-shirts - now called mooks - who go in to the dungeon and for some reason just never come out.
=============================================================
Cannon Fodder (rewords Double Trouble, by The Cars - Oct 24 87)
They got a line on you
Send you forward two by two
You got your hopes and dreams
Disappear insidious screams
Don't give no trouble
Just do what you're told
Cannon fodder
You're in trouble
But they promised gold
Cannon fodder
So much for hopes and dreams
Dead companion's armour gleams
Sure got the short sharp end
All your experience waste expend
Don't be no trouble
Just do what you're told
Cannon fodder
There ain't no trouble
Doing what you're told
Cannon fodder
You give all you have to give
Give your life so the boss can live
You weren't no trouble
You did what you're told
Cannon fodder
Death's no trouble
And they promised gold
Cannon fodder
It ain't no trouble
Doing what you're told
Cannon fodder
But get in trouble
And you might get old
Cannon fodder
=========================================================
Lanefan
Similar Threads
