D&D 5E Spell & Crossbones

[sblock=Barrington]
Barrington gathers the weapons and the shot, and takes a glance at the insect. "Some kind of bug"* he says noncommittally, as he pockets it and turns his attention back to Polly.

"I'm not sure, what they wanted, Polly.They were hired to surprise us, and maybe to kill me, but with your assistance we drove them back."

Barrington takes a quick look round to see if there are any bystanders, or a pirate returning from another direction.** If he sees none, then he will continue with Polly up the hill to the walled part of the city.

*Nature check: 1d20-1=6.
**Perception: 1d20+1=17.
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[SBLOCK=Barrington]There is no sign of the pirates who've fled, the storm winds swallowing the sounds of the pirate fleeing downhill across the rooftops, and the sidekick pirate who ran first was headed toward the docks and is long gone. The pirate who Barrington just bandaged groans into the ground.

It is late and with the brewing storm the only folks out on the streets of Nassau are pirates and drunks. A few were milling about, coming or going to the Stuffed Swan inn, but when the first shots were fired they made themselves scarce. The only bystander Barrington notices is a brown-haired drunken man dressed in artisan's clothes with a fine vest who appears to have clumsily taken cover among some barrels on the far side of the street, on top of which he is rather unceremoniously sprawled.

OOC: Barrington doesn't recognize the insect icon.
[/SBLOCK]
 

Whisper and moonlight and the smoke of a hastily extinguished candle fill the house on the hill. "Quiet!" "Someone's coming!"

The door creaks, louder than seems possible. A woman's muffled voice-- or was it the boy's imagination? --speaking or singing to herself in some uncanny language beyond the experience of young Sam Sawyer. The sound of church bells, soft as memory and yet seeming to echo at his heels, though the church was the other way, down the hill back among the lights of Nassau town and well away from this benighted place.

Were Sam Sawyer to have tossed a backward glance over his shoulder, he might have seen reptilian eye peered out from the bottom of the planked-over window, baleful and golden. And if the owner of that eye knew he had been seen...

"Is someone there? Who's that knocking?"

The blue-gray kobold at the window gives a sudden start. The chair he was perched on teeters and fall over. He clings to the windowsill, and the chairs hit the dusty floor with a clatter. The kobold-- Verner Magnussen, better known these days as The Wyrm-- glances around guiltily, lowering himself to the ground.

The candle flares as Lorelei relights it. The girl, the gypsy girl, Verner reminds himself-- it was she who'd spoken. She puts one delicate hand over her mouth and stifles a laugh-- pausing in the recited conversation between her and the house's third occupant, the lanky figure in the dark coat. Caillou, brooding over the books and unfurled maps spread open on the table. Caillou, the reason they are here.

"Who's that knocking? Is someone there?" It's Lorelei's voice again, but not her speaking. Caillou tilts his head to regard the kobold out the side of his eye, while not fully turning his attention from the charts and lists on the table.

The three of them certainly made for an odd trio, thought the Wyrm. An even odder quartet since the old man had joined them.

He dusts himself off. "Well?" says Lorelei. Even dressed more like a barmaid than a duchess, taking in the seams of some fat dowager's old gown as she is now, she does possess a certain dim radiance. Some princesses one could see comported themselves with lesser grace.

"Did we need to terrify the poor boy?" says the Wyrm, with a sternness in his voice that does not quite reach his eyes.

"Look at where 'the poor boy' has to grow up. A little scare once and a while should help keep him safe," Lorelei retorts. "The same might be true of you, Mr Verner."

"My poor naive friend. Have you no sense of pageantry?" The voice comes from Caillou, but is not his own; another borrowed performance.

The kobold snorts. The girl snickers.

"Well?" Caillou parrots. The kobold turns to face the bird.

A long black beak protrudes from the ragged hood, emerging from the rather beleaguered coat he wears-- dark and shiny as though it were wet, even though it isn't, studded with thin, smooth brass buttons along the lapels.

The coat is much too large for him. The claws of his scaly black fingertips barely reach past the cuffs.

The Wyrm clears his throat. "Message from Lady Steeleyes," says the kobold. "She says to expect company."

Caillou looks at him, black feathers and blacker eyes glittering in candlelight. The corners of his beak pull back into what is undeniably a smirk. "Den looks like de time finally be right..."

OOC: @Quickleaf Not sure if you would want me to speak for my retainers or not? I can avoid it from now on, or edit this post no problem, just say the word.
...Honestly, it's a lot of extra work, so I won't do it in every post anyway.
 
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[sblock=Barrington]Barrington makes eye contact if he can with the man behind the barrels and lifts a hand, confident. Nothing to see here. He then continues up the hill with Polly, ensuring first that she has put her pistol away.[/sblock]
 

Hugo van Haan pushed the chair out of his way. "s'Not fair if I can hardly see over your elbow!" he said, placing his elbow on the table which was about gut-high to the dwarf. One way to win a contest of egos was to prove to the room you didn't have one. Hugo would do this through self-deprecating humor, which would also serve to take all the good insults away from Gvido.

"Ah, what heroics!" Hugo said, then extended a hand to the rough men in Gvido's crew. "Imagine all these men swelling with pride when they tell their girls that they serve a man who once won an arm-wrestling match with a dwarf shaped like a bag-pipe."

Taking his arm off the table quickly, he wondered aloud - a finger to his bearded lips, "I'm terribly sorry, are we sinistral or dextral?" he asked, placing his left elbow on the table. "Let me put that in terms this gathering will understand - you want to wrestle the hand that wipes my arse, or the one that gutters my nose?"
 

OOC: @Unsung I'm fine with you playing Caillou's henchmen as much as you like. If you prefer to run them, I'm fine with that. If you prefer me to run some or all of them that's fine. If you want them to exist in "shared fiction" space so we both run them as needed that's fine too!


[SBLOCK=Barrington]The drunken man in the vest returns Barrington's wave, and at the apex of his wave his hand makes a mock pistol shape then goes slack and the man chuckles to himself in a drunken stupor. A pleasant fellow, if an unreliable witness.

Polly seems like her nerves are coming down from the confrontation, and she returns the holdout pistol to her purse. It's easy to tell that while she's no stranger to witnessing violence, she has never been in much of a fight, and she is chatting excitedly as they draw near the Stuffed Swan inn. "I cannae wait to tell m' sister and m' pa 'bout how ye beat those pirates with yer deadeye aim. Mmm... That's be a good privateer name for ye James, do ye ken? 'Deadeye Jim.'" She jokes in a serious voice to break the tension, unlocking a side door to the inn. It is a simple room, with a large tub in one corner, a bed in another, and a table filled with charts and logbooks against one wall, above which hang a painted family portrait.

"I help tend th' cigar lounge here at th' Swan, an' the owner gives m' a room o' my own. In here, after ye, James. Can I draw y' a warm bath?" Polly asks coyly, gazing at James with her wide blue eyes as she lights an oil lamp.[/SBLOCK]

The Arm Wrestling Match
The mercenaries and crowd chuckle at Hugo's disarmingly self-deprecating jokes. "Hah! I've cracked lobsters that were better looking than you," grunts Gvido, sizing up his opponent. Surely this is a joke, his expression says even as his eyes dart back and forth suspicious of the words he doesn't understand. Locking his elbow in place, Gvido joins his rough hand with Hugo's. Steadily they increase pressure to start the match fair. "The ass hand," replies Gvido evenly, "cause when I'm done with you, you'll not be able to wipe the deck with it, let alone a body part."

A roar swells from the crowd, and then Gvido really begins pressing hard, seeming to make it a matter of pride to see how hard he can squeeze Hugo's hand. However, Hugo's self-deprecation has thrown him off and his grip is not as strong as usual. He grunts and narrows his almost uni-brows as the pressure builds, "Ah, maybe I was mistaken, dwarf. I realize now I couldn't tell your nose from your asscheeks..."

OOC: Gvido Berzin's Strength (Athletics) check 1d20+5=8

How to Insult Arm Wrestle
During an insult arm-wrestling match you trade clever repartee while arm-wrestling, making a series of rolls against your opponent. Whether you roll as normal or have advantage/disadvantage depends on the quality and well-suitedness of your insults to unnerve your opponent and gain the favor of the onlooking crowd. The best insults build off of something your opponent previously said (such as undermining one of their insults), incorporate wordplay or double entendres, or play off of something about the opponent. Other tricks and spells might be used too, and possibly by watchers (though technically that'd be cheating). Whoever wins more rolls wins the contest. 

The insult arm-wrestling match progresses thru four or five rounds something like this (though bear in mind this is just a guideline):

  1. First, choose whether you're being offensive or defensive, and roll Strength (Athletics) or Dexterity (Acrobatics), respectively. This is opposed by Gvido Berzins' Strength (Athletics).
  2. Second, make a roll determined by your opponent's insult/approach.
  3. Third, make a roll determined by your insult/approach.
  4. Fourth, make an opposed Strength check, doubling your ability modifier (for good or ill).
  5. Fifth, if there's a tie, make an opposed Constitution check to break it.
 

"Well, I'll take your word for it. Were there ever a man more esteemed in the institution of wiping body parts than yourself, I'm sure he's long lost in some horrible manure accident," said Hugo, grinning through gritted teeth as he watched his hand redden, squeezed as if in a coil of heavy ropes. The pain was incredible, but his desire for stage presence dismissed any compunction to cry out. The show must go on, and whimpering over his broken paw would be anti-climatic.

"And of course you'd want to wrestle an ass, it's how your mum so fondly remembers your conception, isn't it?"

[sblock]OOC: Hugo uses his height to an advantage. It causes him to stand and leverage better, and when he's 'pulling' he spreads his body weight out a little more that Gvido is able. Further, his arm angle is almost obtuse, requiring Givdo to use more of his forearm and less of his biceps. Probably won't matter in the end, but hey, Hugo wants to win.

Also, I'm a little unclear on:

Second, make a roll determined by your opponent's insult/approach.
Third, make a roll determined by your insult/approach.

What kind of roll is this?

1d20+4 → [17,4] = (21) Sleight of Hand (if you don't mind me using that instead of acrobatics, based on how Hugo's using the table. If you do I can re-roll or just knock off 2)[/sblock]
 

The Insult Arm Wrestling Match

Gvido has a film of perspiration forming across his almost uni-brow. His black and white striped shirt bulges at the biceps as he realizes Hugo's legerdemain, and the balance begins to tip in Hugo's favor. A worried look crosses his face, which is slowly growing crimson, and his arm trembles. Could it be Hugo has caught him in a downward spiral? "At least I came out the right end of the donkey..."

Suddenly, he gives Hugo just enough slack to hang himself with, then launches into a fierce counterattack, the expression on his face changing to a wicked grin. Gvido was bluffing! "My sons will be remembered for their bulging biceps! Yours for their sponging precepts!" Gvido plays on 'sponging' as in 'wiping', and as in 'freeloading off others'; is this an underhanded jab at the Dutch? Clearly there's more to this Gvido Berzins than a pair of arms!

One of the onlooking pirates, a scrawny unshaven fellow, nudges Katarina and Nia Steeleyes. "Ooo! That was a rhyming double entendre that were! Gvido is so cleverrrr--" Upon realizing who he's speaking to - Blackheart's daughter and the Sea Witch - he makes an apologetic laugh which descends into a whimper as he innocently cranes his head back to watch the match as if he had said nothing.

OOC: Gvido - Dexterity (Deception) check 1d20+3=17

Make a Wisdom (Insight) check (or a similar check) to catch Gvido's deceit in time. A high roll (20+) will also anticipate his next strategy.

Also, right after that check, you may come up with your own strategy. Based on that strategy, make a check of your choice, and give me a suggestion about what sort of opposed check Gvido should react with. So, the next round you get to "play DM" as it were. Does that make sense? Oh, and if your insult can rhyme with 'bulging biceps' or is particularly apropos you'll gain advantage on your check (either I'll trust you to be the judge of that, or you can give your insult and wait for my OOC reply before rolling.

And don't forget you have Inspiration from playing to your ideal in the captain argument earlier!


OOC: Sure Sleight of Hand works! It was meant to be a grapple check, but Sleight of Hand seems apropos.

Hugo's bicep-preserving strategy will give him +2 Constitution check in the fifth round if it comes to that. 

Insult Arm Wrestling: Progress Tracker
1st Round - Hugo wins! 21 Sleight of Hand vs. 8 Athletics
2nd Round...
 

Several of the dwarves who are still lucid, not having drowned themselves in ale, nod vigorously and stroke their beards. "Aye. Aye. We know our way around a ship like barnacles know a hull! If you're looking to hire, talk to Viatrix--"

A proud-jawed dwarven woman with several scars across her brow and a tangled bun of dark red hair pushes her way thru the crowd to sit next to Old Zef where they can be in speaking range without shouting. "These hearties and I served on the Leeuwin as a powder crew a'fore that damned Jacques Cassard lit her aflame. That's right, I'm Viatrix de Smit and we're deserters of the Dutch Navy down to the last dwarf. Ain't no shame in admitting. A'fore you go offering us work, you should know we've sworn a bloed eed against Cassard. We'd serve well under any halfway decent captain, but you'll understand as one of us that the bloed eed must be answered a'fore all else."

OOC: Leeuwin is Dutch for "Lioness."

bloed eed is Dutch for "blood oath."

Zef nods as he listens intently. He reaches out and pats Viatrix on the hand. "O' course dochter, o' course. If you were to join a crew that I served on, your bloed eed would be mine. A matter of eer for me. So, with that caveat out of the way, we can discuss, putting you and the rest o' these rapscallions back on the waves where you belong. Now we are putting together a venture here. And we sure could use some good powder monkeys. Deserters or no, don't matter. We have a crew full of pasts here. What say you? Interested?"
 

Viatrix de Smit sighs deeply, clearly Old Zef understanding the burden on her shoulders. She looks over at the gathering of dwarves behind her, those who are semi-conscious nodding in agreement. "Aye, you old sea dog, if you've got a ship and will give us a fair share we'll sweat and bleed for you. Just give us till morning to sober up, er, maybe till afternoon. There's twelve of us--"

A rather short dwarf wearing a red cap with an unusually high-pitched voice pipes up at the end of the bar, raising his finger for emphasis, "Thirteen!"

Squinting at the thirteenth dwarf, Viatrix leans over to one of her fellows. "Isn't that one a halfling or a gnome?" To which one of her inebriated fellows looks closely at the dwarf in the red cap, then shrugs with a bleary expression. "Hmm, well, there's thirteen of us. Thirteen dwarves. It's all of us or none, you know our ways." She spits on her hand and offers it to Old Zef.
 

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