2)
Any programmer who reads through the 3.0 or 3.5 book for the first time will immediately recognize how 'computerized' it feels. It's terribly easy to imagine programming a computer to go through the steps of combat, one step at a time. Whether this is just an impression, or if it was actually intended this way, I don't know. I'm not going to defend this impression, but I know a lot of people had it. So many people that it can't be ignored. A lot of early reviews (and some more recent ones) were based on this first impression, so that could explain why you've heard it.
I've got plenty of programmer friends, and none of them've seen this. I think this is a case of what someone
thinks something is like, rather than what it
is.
3)
Also, there weren't AoOs. Those AoO rules really do change the flow of combat, in a way that old AD&D players don't appreciate. Also readied actions are too reminiscent of cancel magic from M:tG. I acknowledge that this is unfair, and there's nothing truly wrong with readied actions in D&D. But I can't help it, I still cringe every time I see it used during play.
Incorrect - AoOps were there, simply folded into the attack roll or used by GM fiat. AoOps are the most frequently maligned - and misunderstood - part of the system, IME, which is sad. They're easy to adjudicate - does a given action (like concentrating on movement through a threatened area) leave a character open to attack? Then it's an Attack of Opportunity.
4)
v3 and v3.5 expanded options in a way that broke the shared-reality that millions of gamers had of D&D gameworlds. Dwarven wizards, evil rangers, high-level halflings, and monstrous PCs were all explicitly forbidden in earlier versions. The shared fantasy of 'what the gameworld is like' was permanently broken when such abberations were allowed. It opened up many new options that seem like fun... and also increased the scope, for instance low-magic, avg-magic, and high-magic gameworlds. But the shared experience is gone. It used to be that gamers the world over 'knew' that elves were fighter-magic-users and that humans were the dominant race and boxes-with-legs were not alive and +3 swords were really rare and only one spell could be cast per round. Adventures, modules, stories, and more could be built upon that common understanding. Now all that depends on which setting/gameworld you play. Stories are now harder to tell, they need more background, because that groundwork is no longer solid.
There hasn't been a 'shared gameworld' experience since 1st edition. Or are you trying to maintain that a psychic half-giant from Dark Sun, a faithful but doomed Ravenloft knight, a born-to-rule noble from Birthright and a bog standard AD&D character share a world? And even the impression that 1st edition had campaign portability is bunk - everyone had house rules of one sort or another. They had to, to customize a campaign and in some cases to give basic functionality to the system.
5)
Someone in this thread mentioned the Bluff and Diplomacy rules. This is the best answer. This explicitly and intentionally replaces playing out the situation with rolling dice. Role-play for roll-play, what could be clearer? As someone who played various different games, both home games and scattered conventions, in the 90s, I can see clearly why they did it. There was a large and influential segment of the AD&D fanbase that thought it was best to play without dice or miniatures at all, and the more radical could do away with character sheets too. They were clearly promoting role-play vs roll-play. But somebody, somewhere, decided that no matter how wonderful and dramatic that type of game could be (and btw improvisational acting games can be really amazing and fun), it was not D&D and should be called by some other name. The Player's Handbook in 2000 tried to declare with certainty that the player's ability as an orator should not determine his character's abilities. Bluff, Diplomacy, and a few other things were the game mechanics supporting that decision. Is it any surprise that such folks would say the new versions is more roll-play than role-play? (Disclaimer: this paragraph is all me, I didn't read it from any official WOTC source.
My experience differs entirely, from playing to GMing to writing for D&D products. A
player's ability to do some task should never factor in to what the character can do, save in the most general terms. I love roleplaying, but if I'm tired or out of ideas, having the rules to fall back on is a good thing. Likewise, effort counts - if someone is trying to get into the game but isn't a great roleplayer, I see no reason at all to revert to high-school antics and freeze them out. Even the very worst roleplayers can develop, and the best roleplayers can be horrific tyrants at the table. All the addition of skills has done is put power in the hands of the players - having the rules there means that the field is level, finally.