Let me pause a moment to look back at how far we have come in our thinking, for better or worse.
In the 1st edition DMG, Gygax spends a rather lengthy section justifying the saving throw mechanic to his readers. The thesis of the section is in it is middle, as is this:
Gygax said:
Yet because the player character is all-important, he or she must always - or nearly always - have a chance, no matter how small, of somehow escaping what otherwise would be inevitable destruction.
To either side of that, Gygax develops a long argument justifying the saving throw mechanic. But not once in the long argument does Gygax deal with justifying how harsh it is. Rather, Gygax's focus is on justifying that characters should have a chance of escaping an ill effect at all. I think people would do well to consider why that is.
I think answer is that saving throws are unique to the literary experience of RPGs. They don't really occur in an obvious way in literature. Something either happens, or it doesn't. If a protangonist escapes the curse/spell/hardship, it is explained as some special circumstance - often cunningly devised - to advert the disaster. But in D&D, you get saving throw versus a fireball even if you are naked in the middle of an empty room and the fireball detonates right on top of you. You can actually be made to look at a medusa, and not turn to stone. And because you don't 'take 10' on a saving throw, the guy partially hidden behind a chair 10' away might actually take more of the force of the blast than you do. If part of the attraction of D&D is being in a fantasy story, where do saving throws occur in fantasy stories? Protagonists in literature tend not to save, but to evade. This is the focus of Gygax's explanation - not on defending how harsh saving throws are, but defending how generous they are.
I think we've become so used to RPG's and thier mechanics, that the hardest thing for a game to do is offend our sense of disbelief.
If we were to write to a modern audience, it would probably never occur to us to justify how generous a saving throw is. We'd spend all of our time justifying how harsh they are that they provide an oppurtunity for failure at all. The 4E designers seem to think that the solution is to remove the oppurtunity for failure entirely, completing RPG's departure from literature and reality into its own realm with its own entirely internally justified rules and logic - like most any other game. To me, this makes RPG's into something more like rpG's rather than RPg's. It transform the game experience into something that is for me more similar to playing CivII or Starcraft wear I manage abstract resources than to one which is more like imaginative play or reading a story.
Now, I'm not saying this change on its own does that. I'm saying that this change is part of a larger trend.
I really think that there are ways to do both. I think you can have a 'Save or Die' mechanic AND still have highly survivable heroes that live to fight another day.
I'm somewhat mystified by the trend personally. The fact that Balrogs needed to be CR 20 mystifies me. I once heard a young player (by that I mean in his 20's) talking about the game and he said, "It doesn't become good until after level 20, that's when you can access the good powers." It seems as if the trend is to judge something absolutely rather relative to its context. By this I mean, people seem offended that they have less absolute success than some theoretical characters in someone elses campaign. "Those characters are more powerful than we are, it's not fair." "Those characters have bigger swords than we do, it's not fair." "Those characters can face bigger foes than we can, it's not fair." I'm competitive, but not in that way. I think the game is beginning to load the dice in favor of success, to the point that it comes easily. I don't judge my character in comparison to some other person's campaign. I judge the character by what he has went through to get where he is. If I know that what I've accomplished has been hard, then it is satisfying. There are campaigns where I was more excited by my +2 sword, than I was by the +5 weapon in a different campaign. All the numbers are really meaningless. In fact, my experience learning the game tended toward, "Tougher than thou.", in as much as all players took pride in the fact that thier DM was bigger Rat B@stard than anyone elses DMing so long as he was 'tough but fair', and anyone from a campaign where things seemed to have come more easily was disdained. It took me till college to appreciate a high heroic game as something other than 'Monte Haul' and childish, and that only because the game concerned itself with truly adult matters and not so much with combat. If it hadn't, I think I'd still see it the way I look back on my first attempts at age 12 to dungeon master.
Now it seems like the pendalum has swung to wear anyone who expects hardship is disdained.
Well, I'm 'old skewl'.