rgoodbb
Adventurer
There are surely no more turns now. So post free little bird, Post free
There are surely no more turns now. So post free little bird, Post free
BoldItalic
First Post
Thank you
As they were setting off next morning, they had hardly gone a few yards when the sky suddenly darkened and with a beating of mighty wings came .......... a tartan dragon. His name was Archie and he was Flora's ex.
"Wahae the noo!" cried Archie, "If it's nae Flora, ma wee flodget!"
"Archie! Get lost, I never want to see you again after what you did," was Flora's riposte.
"Hoots! That's ma Flora!" bellowed Archie and, turning to Cholmondley, he advised "Ne'er tangle wi' a chintz dragon. She'll hae yer wee galdies awa afore ye ken the time o' dae"
"Er .. thank you," responded Cholmondley, who hadn't the slightest idea what Archie was saying.
Archie espied Knife riding Barnaby and trying, quite successfully, to look inconsequential. "Hi daedsie, why the lang snoot?"
"Oh, it's nothing important," replied Knife gloomily. "I was just thinking I wouldn't bother with learning spells. It's too much effort." And Barnaby nodded in agreement.
"Has ma Flora been teaching ye magic? Wheest, ye'll nae larn a whipple grammit fro' Flora. Cam awa wi Archie - ma lair hae all the bicks ye could misk."
There was something about the way Archie winked and licked his lips that made Knife nervous. "My friends are expecting me," she countered defensively.
Archie shook his head. "Wha gloompsie," he admonished, "ne'er swish ya tael at a freebie. Ye caming haem Flora?"
"I suppose your lair is an absolute mess, and you haven't done the washing up? Thought not. You're a disgrace, Archie. I don't know why I bother with you." But she followed him anyway, and they flew off into the distance, bickering.
The palfrey, bereft of her rider, looked uncertain. "Stick with me, kid," said Harrington.
They rode on and a few minutes later, as the tavern came in sight, there suddenly were Ronni and Keyes, swooping down wearing their winged accoutrements. "It's Knife!" they squealed with delight. "Cholmondley, you genius, you've brought her back!"
"Well, yes and no, you see ..."
Glossary of Archie-speak
Flodget - a baby dragon, just able to fly. A term of endearment (joc.)
Galdies - gold pieces
Daedsie - a dead person
Snoot - snout, and thus the face in general
Misk - wish for, desire
Whipple grammit - a very small amount of anything (lit. a drachm-weight of whisked cream)
Gloompsie - a glum person
Lanefan
Victoria Rules
They rode on and a few minutes later, as the tavern came in sight, there suddenly were Ronni and Keyes, swooping down wearing their winged accoutrements. "It's Knife!" they squealed with delight. "Cholmondley, you genius, you've brought her back!"
As this was the first (and probably last) time in his life that anyone had referred to Cholmondley as a genius, or even smart, or in fact anything better than thick-as-two-planks-nailed-together, the novelty of the experience was so much of an experience that he gained a level on the spot.
Drawing his new higher-level self up in the saddle, he grandly replied "Well, you could say I've brought her back; and in fact you did just say I've brought her back, and it's true: I've brought her back...and her front, too. And her sides. All of her. It's all here. Well, almost all here." He paused, gathering his few scattered thoughts for the next salvo, then went on:
"And while you could say I've brought her back...and yes, you did just say I've brought her back...I didn't quite bring her back, and in fact she still needs bringing back. I've brought her back to be brought back, you see? And if you bring her back after I've brought her back we'll have her back...and that's what noble comrades do, isn't it - have each other's backs? Isn't it? Isn't..."
About now Cholmondley realized the only being left near him was Harrington (and that only because the knight hadn't dismounted yet), because during his blather Ronni had realized the true situation and taken Knife inside to Sister Jericho...who, the legends had it, could fix anything. Keyes, meanwhile, had taken one look at the white palfrey and decided it would be hers for ever more; and was now joyfully riding it around the next field. Barnaby had followed, mostly because the grass in that field looked greener than in this one, and now couldn't understand why the grass in the field he had just left looked greener than it did before.
So Cholmondley dismounted (and Harrington fled to the next field to join Keyes and the palfrey) and made for the tavern...and became confused yet again; because the sign that read Frolicking Frog when last he was here now showed The Druid's Head, and he had no idea why. Nevertheless, as he still had Knife's knife and this was the only place Knife could have gone, he went inside......
As this was the first (and probably last) time in his life that anyone had referred to Cholmondley as a genius, or even smart, or in fact anything better than thick-as-two-planks-nailed-together, the novelty of the experience was so much of an experience that he gained a level on the spot.
Drawing his new higher-level self up in the saddle, he grandly replied "Well, you could say I've brought her back; and in fact you did just say I've brought her back, and it's true: I've brought her back...and her front, too. And her sides. All of her. It's all here. Well, almost all here." He paused, gathering his few scattered thoughts for the next salvo, then went on:
"And while you could say I've brought her back...and yes, you did just say I've brought her back...I didn't quite bring her back, and in fact she still needs bringing back. I've brought her back to be brought back, you see? And if you bring her back after I've brought her back we'll have her back...and that's what noble comrades do, isn't it - have each other's backs? Isn't it? Isn't..."
About now Cholmondley realized the only being left near him was Harrington (and that only because the knight hadn't dismounted yet), because during his blather Ronni had realized the true situation and taken Knife inside to Sister Jericho...who, the legends had it, could fix anything. Keyes, meanwhile, had taken one look at the white palfrey and decided it would be hers for ever more; and was now joyfully riding it around the next field. Barnaby had followed, mostly because the grass in that field looked greener than in this one, and now couldn't understand why the grass in the field he had just left looked greener than it did before.
So Cholmondley dismounted (and Harrington fled to the next field to join Keyes and the palfrey) and made for the tavern...and became confused yet again; because the sign that read Frolicking Frog when last he was here now showed The Druid's Head, and he had no idea why. Nevertheless, as he still had Knife's knife and this was the only place Knife could have gone, he went inside......
BoldItalic
First Post
Foghorn's List of Worries
- To bring Knife back to life, Sister Jericho is going to need a 1000gp diamond and nobody has one.
- Cholmondeley needs to give the knife back to Knife but she won't take it.
- Cholmondeley has no weapons and doesn't know why.
- We have no arcane spellcaster and the obvious candidate, Knife, doesn't want to learn magic.
- Gucci is complaining about the beer and demanding a clean tankard.
- There is a duergar mine a hundred feet below us and the duergar are rapidly digging upwards.
- It's raining.
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Lanefan
Victoria Rules
Thinking about it, however, two of Foghorn's worries quickly concatenated into one, and then vanished:
- we need a 1000 g.p. diamond
- there's some duergar digging their mine up to us as we speak
Those duergar must have found some diamonds...and we're heavy on thiefy types, never mind it's their companion this is all for...seems obvious to me: when those duergar get here, whack 'em and take their diamonds!
"Yes, that's it!" he cried.
Foghorn stepped out the door. "KEYES!" he called, "Leave that for later! We're gonna need you in here in a minute!" Of course all Keyes heard through the rain was something like "Keyes - heave at a waiter - we're gonna feed you in a minute"; but she was hungry and the idea of being fed sounded good, so she left the palfrey to graze and dripped into the tavern.
"Where's the food?" Keyes asked on seeing a bunch of quite empty-looking tables. "What food?" asked several people in reply, whereupon Keyes gave Foghorn a look that might have frozen vodka had there been any here to freeze.
"Look" said Foghorn, "People. I think I've solved some of our problems...or well, not quite yet; but the solution's probably going to come up through the floor in an hour or two, so be ready."
Sister Jericho nodded sagely, as if this all made perfect sense; meanwhile Ronni looked at Keyes and gave a not-quite-so-secret guild signal clearly indicating she thought ol' Foggy had lost a few marbles somewhere. And as for Cholmondley...well, if he was confused before........
- we need a 1000 g.p. diamond
- there's some duergar digging their mine up to us as we speak
Those duergar must have found some diamonds...and we're heavy on thiefy types, never mind it's their companion this is all for...seems obvious to me: when those duergar get here, whack 'em and take their diamonds!
"Yes, that's it!" he cried.
Foghorn stepped out the door. "KEYES!" he called, "Leave that for later! We're gonna need you in here in a minute!" Of course all Keyes heard through the rain was something like "Keyes - heave at a waiter - we're gonna feed you in a minute"; but she was hungry and the idea of being fed sounded good, so she left the palfrey to graze and dripped into the tavern.
"Where's the food?" Keyes asked on seeing a bunch of quite empty-looking tables. "What food?" asked several people in reply, whereupon Keyes gave Foghorn a look that might have frozen vodka had there been any here to freeze.
"Look" said Foghorn, "People. I think I've solved some of our problems...or well, not quite yet; but the solution's probably going to come up through the floor in an hour or two, so be ready."
Sister Jericho nodded sagely, as if this all made perfect sense; meanwhile Ronni looked at Keyes and gave a not-quite-so-secret guild signal clearly indicating she thought ol' Foggy had lost a few marbles somewhere. And as for Cholmondley...well, if he was confused before........
rgoodbb
Adventurer
And as for Cholmondley...well, if he was confused before........
9 Druids entered from the side door. It was a convention. Tree-hugger 903 was an annual event and they were always looking for a new venue. This was potentially a scary sight for the party with what happened to the last Druid here.
“Why choose here?”
“uhm…..…” Replied Foghorn
“They must suspect about Moss or something.”
“Well………” Replied Foghorn
What are they doing here?”
“Ah………OK It’s like this. I got the sign wrong. OK?” Replied Foghorn
“Wadaya mean ya got the sign wrong”
“I mean there wasn’t enough room and I may have misspelt things”
“Go-on….”
“Well………Just. Take a look…..”
The entire party went outside and espied the tavern signpost”
It read:
The Druid‘Shed
“Ah……”
The party re-entered their Druid Shed. Upon adjusting to the low light. 9 druids now faced off against one lady with a wide brimmed hat and a fan: Char-Ging, the powerful tax collector had come for a drink on her day off. She was wielding that fan and she was smiling…………….
9 Druids entered from the side door. It was a convention. Tree-hugger 903 was an annual event and they were always looking for a new venue. This was potentially a scary sight for the party with what happened to the last Druid here.
“Why choose here?”
“uhm…..…” Replied Foghorn
“They must suspect about Moss or something.”
“Well………” Replied Foghorn
What are they doing here?”
“Ah………OK It’s like this. I got the sign wrong. OK?” Replied Foghorn
“Wadaya mean ya got the sign wrong”
“I mean there wasn’t enough room and I may have misspelt things”
“Go-on….”
“Well………Just. Take a look…..”
The entire party went outside and espied the tavern signpost”
It read:
The Druid‘Shed
“Ah……”
The party re-entered their Druid Shed. Upon adjusting to the low light. 9 druids now faced off against one lady with a wide brimmed hat and a fan: Char-Ging, the powerful tax collector had come for a drink on her day off. She was wielding that fan and she was smiling…………….
Lanefan
Victoria Rules
...meanwhile Ronni and Keyes were busy hiding in every shadow they could find (and thus leaving poor Sister Jericho to tend the bar), as they and their guild had long and very unpleasant histories with Ms. Char-Ging and the two sneaks had no intention whatsoever of adding to those woeful tales. Knife was also hiding, but as she was dead her version of hiding was just to lie there like a corpse in plain sight......
And so: in the tavern we currently have...
Cholmondley (Cavalier) - heavy armour, empty scabbards, and a bloodstained knife
Sister Jericho (Cleric) - 47gp, a Token of Athena, and a Ring of Invincibility
Knife (Commoner, ex-Assassin) - nothing, including mass or weight or life
Druids [9] - a beer each
Gucci and ze goblins [11] - a beer each
Foghorn (Fighter) - 49gp and Mr Choppy-Chop the Vorpal Battleaxe of Thunder +3
Ronni (Rogue) - 67gp and a Winged Hat of Flying
Char-Ging (Tax Collector) - a fan
Keyes (Thief) - 76gp, a Secret Map and Winged Boots of Flying
And 24 c.p. (from Gucci's crew) and 18 c.p. (from the Druids) are in the tavern's till, in payment for their beer at 2 c.p. each
And so: in the tavern we currently have...
Cholmondley (Cavalier) - heavy armour, empty scabbards, and a bloodstained knife
Sister Jericho (Cleric) - 47gp, a Token of Athena, and a Ring of Invincibility
Knife (Commoner, ex-Assassin) - nothing, including mass or weight or life
Druids [9] - a beer each
Gucci and ze goblins [11] - a beer each
Foghorn (Fighter) - 49gp and Mr Choppy-Chop the Vorpal Battleaxe of Thunder +3
Ronni (Rogue) - 67gp and a Winged Hat of Flying
Char-Ging (Tax Collector) - a fan
Keyes (Thief) - 76gp, a Secret Map and Winged Boots of Flying
And 24 c.p. (from Gucci's crew) and 18 c.p. (from the Druids) are in the tavern's till, in payment for their beer at 2 c.p. each
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BoldItalic
First Post
One of the druids spoke quietly to a table and, together with some of its neighbours it re-arranged itself into one large table in the middle of the room. The druids sat down, with the portliest druid at the head and the others down each side. The head druid stood up again, said something, and a Heroes Feast magically appeared on the table. Then he began a long, wooden speech while two waitresses worked quietly around the table enquiring "Veggie option, Sir?" and "Veggie option Madam?" and bustled to and fro to the kitchen and back, bearing dishes of hot, steaming food.
Foghorn thought: wait a bit, we don't have any waitresses, we don't have a kitchen and all the food is already on the table. Then he realised what was going on. "Meat option, Sir?" said Ronni, handing him a plate of venison sausages with a wink.
Gucci was a little surprised when a passing Keyes stealthily placed a goblet of elderflower wine in front of him. He'd seen her moving around the table serving wine, but he hadn't noticed the way she was serving four goblets to four druids and somehow having too many. But he tasted it anyway, and it had a kick like a mule. This is the stuff for smart goblins, he decided. No more beer for me.
Suddenly, there was a trumpet fanfare from without. The door opened and a splendidly-attired herald came in, walked straight up to Cholmondeley, dropped on one knee and offered him a large scroll and a long, thin leather box with ornate gold decoration. "Your grace," said the herald, "these are for you."
Looking blank, Cholmondeley read the scroll, read it again, then opened the leather case and took out a sword. It was a twinkly longsword with a jewelled hilt and it radiated magic. A lot of magic. He held it aloft for a moment, gazed at it thoughtfully, then slid it into his empty scabbard. "A pleasure to be of service, your grace," said the sword.
Cholmondeley took a spoon from a surprised druid and rapped on the table for silence. He had somehow grown a few inches and taken on a commanding air, as if his Charisma had shot up by several notches (which it had). The head druid stopped talking in mid ramble, taken aback. He was affronted. He was practically beside himself.
"My friends," began Cholmondeley, "it would appear that a great many of the more senior members of my family have unexpectedly perished in a freak hunting accident and I have just inherited the title of Duke of the West Marches. This comes as much as a surprise to me as it does to you."
"Should we courtesy, or something?" asked a waitress.
"That will not be necessary, Ronni, but thank you for the thought," replied the Duke graciously. Then, taking Knife's knife from his belt he sent it rifling through the air, aimed just over Knife's left shoulder. Instinctively, she reached up a hand and caught it in mid-flight. Realising what she had just done, she glared at the knife. "I've got a bone to pick with you," she said. "Only doing my job," replied the knife defensively.
Char-Ging's eyes lit up and, despite it being her day off, she felt compelled to strike. "There will be taxes to pay," she told Cholmondeley gleefully, "Death duties, inheritance tax, scroll tax, sword tax, the special tax on dukedoms, ..."
The Duke looked her sternly in the eye. "You will see my steward at 10am tomorrow at Westborough Castle to discuss this. You will not be late, for if you miss this appointment the meeting will have to be rescheduled for next year. Is that understood?"
"Westborough Castle?" quavered Char-Ging, "That's three days' ride away! This is not acceptable!"
"Are you unhappy in your position? The chief collector of taxes is my cousin ..."
"Well, no, but, your grace, ..."
"Then you had better set off without delay and ride very fast."
Cholmondeley1 (Cavalier) - heavy armour, a horse (Harrington), scroll of pedigree and a magic longsword2
Sister Jericho (Cleric) - 47gp, a Token of Athena, and a Ring of Invincibility
Knife (Commoner, ex-Assassin) - Zeroes in everything, Barnaby the mule, and a knife
Druids [9] - a Heroes' Feast (the veggie part thereof)
Gucci and ze goblins [11] - Elderflower wine / a beer each
Foghorn (Fighter) - 49gp and Mr Choppy-Chop the Vorpal Battleaxe of Thunder +3
Ronni (Rogue) - 67gp and a Winged Hat of Flying
Keyes (Thief) - 76gp, a white palfrey, a Secret Map and Winged Boots of Flying
And 24 c.p. (from Gucci's crew) and 18 c.p. (from the Druids) are in the tavern's till, in payment for their beer at 2 c.p. each
1 His Grace, The Duke of Cholmondeley and The West Marches
2 Incalcular, the ancestral +3 sword of the Dukes of Cholmondeley. Confers 24 Cha on the bearer. Sentient, Lawful Good, Protector of The Duchy.
Foghorn thought: wait a bit, we don't have any waitresses, we don't have a kitchen and all the food is already on the table. Then he realised what was going on. "Meat option, Sir?" said Ronni, handing him a plate of venison sausages with a wink.
Gucci was a little surprised when a passing Keyes stealthily placed a goblet of elderflower wine in front of him. He'd seen her moving around the table serving wine, but he hadn't noticed the way she was serving four goblets to four druids and somehow having too many. But he tasted it anyway, and it had a kick like a mule. This is the stuff for smart goblins, he decided. No more beer for me.
Suddenly, there was a trumpet fanfare from without. The door opened and a splendidly-attired herald came in, walked straight up to Cholmondeley, dropped on one knee and offered him a large scroll and a long, thin leather box with ornate gold decoration. "Your grace," said the herald, "these are for you."
Looking blank, Cholmondeley read the scroll, read it again, then opened the leather case and took out a sword. It was a twinkly longsword with a jewelled hilt and it radiated magic. A lot of magic. He held it aloft for a moment, gazed at it thoughtfully, then slid it into his empty scabbard. "A pleasure to be of service, your grace," said the sword.
Cholmondeley took a spoon from a surprised druid and rapped on the table for silence. He had somehow grown a few inches and taken on a commanding air, as if his Charisma had shot up by several notches (which it had). The head druid stopped talking in mid ramble, taken aback. He was affronted. He was practically beside himself.
"My friends," began Cholmondeley, "it would appear that a great many of the more senior members of my family have unexpectedly perished in a freak hunting accident and I have just inherited the title of Duke of the West Marches. This comes as much as a surprise to me as it does to you."
"Should we courtesy, or something?" asked a waitress.
"That will not be necessary, Ronni, but thank you for the thought," replied the Duke graciously. Then, taking Knife's knife from his belt he sent it rifling through the air, aimed just over Knife's left shoulder. Instinctively, she reached up a hand and caught it in mid-flight. Realising what she had just done, she glared at the knife. "I've got a bone to pick with you," she said. "Only doing my job," replied the knife defensively.
Char-Ging's eyes lit up and, despite it being her day off, she felt compelled to strike. "There will be taxes to pay," she told Cholmondeley gleefully, "Death duties, inheritance tax, scroll tax, sword tax, the special tax on dukedoms, ..."
The Duke looked her sternly in the eye. "You will see my steward at 10am tomorrow at Westborough Castle to discuss this. You will not be late, for if you miss this appointment the meeting will have to be rescheduled for next year. Is that understood?"
"Westborough Castle?" quavered Char-Ging, "That's three days' ride away! This is not acceptable!"
"Are you unhappy in your position? The chief collector of taxes is my cousin ..."
"Well, no, but, your grace, ..."
"Then you had better set off without delay and ride very fast."
Cholmondeley1 (Cavalier) - heavy armour, a horse (Harrington), scroll of pedigree and a magic longsword2
Sister Jericho (Cleric) - 47gp, a Token of Athena, and a Ring of Invincibility
Knife (Commoner, ex-Assassin) - Zeroes in everything, Barnaby the mule, and a knife
Druids [9] - a Heroes' Feast (the veggie part thereof)
Gucci and ze goblins [11] - Elderflower wine / a beer each
Foghorn (Fighter) - 49gp and Mr Choppy-Chop the Vorpal Battleaxe of Thunder +3
Ronni (Rogue) - 67gp and a Winged Hat of Flying
Keyes (Thief) - 76gp, a white palfrey, a Secret Map and Winged Boots of Flying
And 24 c.p. (from Gucci's crew) and 18 c.p. (from the Druids) are in the tavern's till, in payment for their beer at 2 c.p. each
1 His Grace, The Duke of Cholmondeley and The West Marches
2 Incalcular, the ancestral +3 sword of the Dukes of Cholmondeley. Confers 24 Cha on the bearer. Sentient, Lawful Good, Protector of The Duchy.
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BoldItalic
First Post
After Char-Ging had left in a hurry, Keyes sidled up to Sister Jericho and slipped something small and hard into her hand. "The tax collector somehow accidentally lost this," she explained. It was a large diamond. "Will it do, to bring Knife back?" asked Keyes anxiously.
"That will do nicely," replied the good sister. "But I hope you didn't steal it on purpose? Are you quite sure it was an accident?"
"Oh, yes, I meant to steal her wide-brimmed hat. I didn't know she was carrying gemstones in a locked pouch inside another locked pouch hidden under her robes. Honestly. I didn't know at all. Until I found myself holding this one. By accident."
"Sounds entirely plausible. There have been a lot of accidents lately, haven't there? Now, come with me dear and let's get Knife ready. You might have to help her afterwards. Being alive again can be something of a shock."
"That will do nicely," replied the good sister. "But I hope you didn't steal it on purpose? Are you quite sure it was an accident?"
"Oh, yes, I meant to steal her wide-brimmed hat. I didn't know she was carrying gemstones in a locked pouch inside another locked pouch hidden under her robes. Honestly. I didn't know at all. Until I found myself holding this one. By accident."
"Sounds entirely plausible. There have been a lot of accidents lately, haven't there? Now, come with me dear and let's get Knife ready. You might have to help her afterwards. Being alive again can be something of a shock."
Foghorn's New List of Worries
To bring Knife back to life, Sister Jericho is going to need a 1000gp diamond and nobody has one.Cholmondeley needs to give the knife back to Knife but she won't take it.Cholmondeley has no weapons and doesn't know why.- We have no arcane spellcaster and the obvious candidate, Knife, doesn't want to learn magic.
Gucci is complaining about the beer and demanding a clean tankard.- There is a duergar mine
a hundredfifty feet below us and the duergar are rapidly digging upwards. It's raining.
rgoodbb
Adventurer
With Druids in the room, there was always going to be purging. Pur-Ging was the coolest dude around because he was A) wearing linen, B) it was a windy morning and C) he'd just necked a cold one. and D) He was a Monk. Pur-Ging happened to be the half-brother to Char-Ging, a fact he was not proud of and kept very quiet about. He was also a bit of an amateur environmental scientist.
The local geologist and volcanologist had been in this area for quite a time. There were some strange tremors afoot. They had led him to this very barroom in the Druid Shed. Pur-Ging placed his ear to the ground (A feat made remarkable since he was still standing up.) Ankheg? He pondered. Bulette maybe. Certainly not Umber Hulk, Purple Worm or Remorhaz.
Char-Ging popped her head around the saloon door. She knew she'd been bested by the Duke and so wanted to join them. She was a Sorcerer. An arcane spellcaster.....
There is a duergar mine a next to us and the duergar are HERE!
The local geologist and volcanologist had been in this area for quite a time. There were some strange tremors afoot. They had led him to this very barroom in the Druid Shed. Pur-Ging placed his ear to the ground (A feat made remarkable since he was still standing up.) Ankheg? He pondered. Bulette maybe. Certainly not Umber Hulk, Purple Worm or Remorhaz.
Crumble Crash Pop
Ah……..of course. DUERGAR!
Char-Ging popped her head around the saloon door. She knew she'd been bested by the Duke and so wanted to join them. She was a Sorcerer. An arcane spellcaster.....
Foghorn's New List of Worries
There is a duergar mine a next to us and the duergar are HERE!
