The Shaman
First Post
I can't believe no one's mentioned the classic:
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries."
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries."
-
NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.
Swear At & Insult Your Players
- Thread starter Connorsrpg
- Start date
StupidSmurf
First Post
One of my favorites from Babylon 5:
Londo: "What is it Vir, you moon-faced assassin of joy?"
-------------------
Favorite ones from the master, Groucho Marx.
Rufus T. Firefly: "How about you? Maybe you could suggest something. In fact to me, you do suggest something. To me, you suggest a baboon."
Ambassador Trentino: "What!!?!"
Firefly: "Um...I'm sorry. That isn't fair to the rest of the baboons."
---------
Firefly: Begone! And never darken my towels again!"
--------
Mrs Teasdale: "Having you here, Ambassador, is a great pleasure."
Trentino: "Thank you, but I cannot stay long."
Firefly: "That's an even greater pleasure."
-------
Londo: "What is it Vir, you moon-faced assassin of joy?"
-------------------
Favorite ones from the master, Groucho Marx.
Rufus T. Firefly: "How about you? Maybe you could suggest something. In fact to me, you do suggest something. To me, you suggest a baboon."
Ambassador Trentino: "What!!?!"
Firefly: "Um...I'm sorry. That isn't fair to the rest of the baboons."
---------
Firefly: Begone! And never darken my towels again!"
--------
Mrs Teasdale: "Having you here, Ambassador, is a great pleasure."
Trentino: "Thank you, but I cannot stay long."
Firefly: "That's an even greater pleasure."
-------
Jesus_marley
First Post
You goat faced son of a leprous troll!
(to a dwarf) Your mother had pointy ears!
My blade hungers for your gizzard.
well thats my contribution to the cause....
(to a dwarf) Your mother had pointy ears!
My blade hungers for your gizzard.
well thats my contribution to the cause....
The Edge
First Post
One I use is from the 'Thief' line of computer games. Taffer or ocasionally Taffard, its simple and sounds right as a common insult. In the game it was a word for a thief/law breaker/or genraly sneaky person, but it doesnt have to be too specific.
A rather un rehearsed one a player spat out once was "you lousy sod twit orc fodle!". pretty lame, dont know what fodle means.
A rather un rehearsed one a player spat out once was "you lousy sod twit orc fodle!". pretty lame, dont know what fodle means.
Connorsrpg
Adventurer
Ah a finally found the "Conan of the Isles" ones I wrote down. Some of my favourites are:
Curses
"A pox to this business of ..."
"By all the scarlet fiends of Hell"
"By the scarlet bowels of Hell"
Challenges
"I still know a trick or two, which I shall be pleased to show you if you like?"
"You get past me you are free to do as you will - but you will find me no easy foe."
"Sheath your swords now and I will forget this incident. If you continue to attack, I will give you no quarter".
"This is no time to jape young man. Your life is forfeit if we continue".
Insults
"You lying, crooked dungheap".
"Filthy, diseased, son of a dozen unnatural fathers".
"You old barrel of whale blubber".
"...when you were still puking up your mother's thin, sour milk".
"...when you were still fondling boys in the back of a (place) whorehouse".
"Slink back to your fetid kennel".
"There are others here with more manhood in one hand than you have in your yellow-bellied body".
...and my favourite: "Girl-faced, fancy-clad, soft-gutted whelp of a nameless (place) gutter slut".
Other common terms used to degrade:
knave, dog, dullard, cur, gaffer, scum, swine, swabs, lubber.
As an odd side note: I am currently teaching Romeo and Juliet in English and in the unit of work I was given, guess what appeared? Yep, the Shakespeare insult generator. The kids love it and it is great to here them using other expletives than 'crap' and the current 'in' word at the moment 'gay'. I know it is lame, but go figure. A couple have instead begun to replace these with scut. Ah, so this thread is not only a very good and helpful one for GMs, it is educational.
Keep them coming. Connors
Curses
"A pox to this business of ..."
"By all the scarlet fiends of Hell"
"By the scarlet bowels of Hell"
Challenges
"I still know a trick or two, which I shall be pleased to show you if you like?"
"You get past me you are free to do as you will - but you will find me no easy foe."
"Sheath your swords now and I will forget this incident. If you continue to attack, I will give you no quarter".
"This is no time to jape young man. Your life is forfeit if we continue".
Insults
"You lying, crooked dungheap".
"Filthy, diseased, son of a dozen unnatural fathers".
"You old barrel of whale blubber".
"...when you were still puking up your mother's thin, sour milk".
"...when you were still fondling boys in the back of a (place) whorehouse".
"Slink back to your fetid kennel".
"There are others here with more manhood in one hand than you have in your yellow-bellied body".
...and my favourite: "Girl-faced, fancy-clad, soft-gutted whelp of a nameless (place) gutter slut".
Other common terms used to degrade:
knave, dog, dullard, cur, gaffer, scum, swine, swabs, lubber.
As an odd side note: I am currently teaching Romeo and Juliet in English and in the unit of work I was given, guess what appeared? Yep, the Shakespeare insult generator. The kids love it and it is great to here them using other expletives than 'crap' and the current 'in' word at the moment 'gay'. I know it is lame, but go figure. A couple have instead begun to replace these with scut. Ah, so this thread is not only a very good and helpful one for GMs, it is educational.
Keep them coming. Connors
one of my players ( a monk ) used to say this:
"har du nognsinde set dine involde? du kommer til det nu, fordi jeg har store planer om at proppe dit hoved op i din røv!"
translated (rough):
"have you ever seen your internals? Well you are going to now, because I've big plans on stuff your head up in your ass!!"
well, it isn't such a good one, but it was fun when he had said it to an pit fiend. It was the first time he used it, and he did it.
"har du nognsinde set dine involde? du kommer til det nu, fordi jeg har store planer om at proppe dit hoved op i din røv!"
translated (rough):
"have you ever seen your internals? Well you are going to now, because I've big plans on stuff your head up in your ass!!"
well, it isn't such a good one, but it was fun when he had said it to an pit fiend. It was the first time he used it, and he did it.
Troll Wizard
First Post
"Look boys lunch is here"
"hey, the buffet came to us man-omlet, dwarf jerky, elf crepe..."
"sigh, halfling nuggets again"
"Hello, would you mind removing your armor before I eat you. It tends to get stuck between my teeth."
"Don't worry I wouldn't kill you right away, but you soon will wish I had"
"Dibs on the halfling"
"Not dwarf meat again!"
Red dragon to party from old Dragonlance campaign
"I hate kender so much, that if you strip him naked, bind him, salt & pepper him, and slow roast him, I will let the rest of you leave"
"hey, the buffet came to us man-omlet, dwarf jerky, elf crepe..."
"sigh, halfling nuggets again"
"Hello, would you mind removing your armor before I eat you. It tends to get stuck between my teeth."
"Don't worry I wouldn't kill you right away, but you soon will wish I had"
"Dibs on the halfling"
"Not dwarf meat again!"
Red dragon to party from old Dragonlance campaign
"I hate kender so much, that if you strip him naked, bind him, salt & pepper him, and slow roast him, I will let the rest of you leave"
