"Hot-button" and "intellectually lazy" are at least as vague as video-gamey. So, if they are "just useless to conversation and act as active barriers to communication", why are you using them?
Hrm, Hot button - terms deliberately chosen to provoke a negative reaction. Intellectually lazy - not bothering to actually attempt to communicate in any meaningful way, but rather, simply trying to score points in an internet debate.
Assuming, of course, that we agree about what "non-cumbersome/clunky" means in this context. Or that this is all that elegance means in terms of game design, which I do not think it is. It is, for example, at least as important IMHO that a system be appropriate to be elegant. "Flip a coin" or "DM desides" are the most "elegant" solutions to any problem given the definition you believe entirely nails the term down, but I doubt very much that this is what one expects from an "elegant" ruleset!
Barring, of course, the answers given (including mine).
Video-gamey: Having qualities akin to a video game. Specifically, the degree to which mundane abilities/decisions are constrained by the ruleset/gamist concerns.
RC
Oh, true, we can argue about whether a given rule is elegant or not. Fair enough. But, as you say yourself, we're on the same page when discussing things. Is X elegant? Well, we can discuss that. But, at no point are we disagreeing about what elegant means.
If a term generates fifteen different definitions from fifteen different people, I would say that that term is extremely vague. The fact that the term is also very loaded and carries strong negative connotations only hurts any attempt to communicate.
That was not what I understood from our discussion.
What I understood was: A feeling the player gets from his choices being constrained by the system that reminds him of playing a video game. Note that his PC's choices are not so constrained.
Heh. Eight pages of definitions, every one of them different. It doesn't matter what you or I think it means. The term is so broad it can mean pretty much whatever you want it to mean. In other words, the best defition that I can think of is, "I don't like X. I don't like (some elements from) video games. Therefore X is videogamey".
Are there commonalities? Of course their are. But, why not actually just stick to those rather than cloud the issue?
A while ago I talked about Shadowfax being a Pokemount. I did it for two reasons. One was to tweak RC's nose (which is always fun

) and the other was to actually make a point.
In the discussion, RC raised criticisms about the 3e mechanics for a paladin's mount and couched these in the term "pokemount". I asked him to clarify what he actually meant by this term and things went back and forth for a while and it eventually boiled down that the only real point of comparison between Pocket Monsters and the paladin's mount is the fact that they are both summonable. The resemble each other in no other way - thematically or mechanically.
So, what did Pokemount actually mean? I understood that it was a negative term in context, but, since the only commonalities were the fact that both come out when called, I didn't really get the point.
Had RC simply stated something along the lines of, "I find the mechanics for summoning a paladin's mount to be flat, bland and boring" then we could have a discussion. Instead, we wound up going around and around the pedantic track, yet again, because he insisted on using a neologism that didn't make any real sense.