Tales From The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern! (chapter 1, now closed)

[Lazlow]

<Backhands the goblet out of the Captain's hand> "Dammit, Phyfe! I'm no common errand boy!"

"I'm here on important business--straight from the Duke! I don't have time for your nostril-nuanced nonsense! Where's Sir Dudley?! And don't give me any of that PALACON bulls**t! Oh, won't talk, eh? Well, refusing to help me is like refusing to help the Duke himself, and refusing to help the Duke gets you an apointment with his men in the basement, of which I was one for 5 gruesome years." [/color ]Berserker Bill finishes, letting his masterwork intimidation tools clatter across the desk. "If anybody in this world loves you, you better start talking! Where's Sir Dudley?"

The Captain, looking at you and absolutely quivering in fear, faints dead away. His unconcious body goes limp and starts slowly slipping from the chair (but hangs up on your foot).

About this time you hear a knock on the front door, and a female voice faintly says, "Yoo hoo!"

 

[Gray Shade]

"Oh, you panty-waist piece of crap! Can nothing on this job go easy? Wake up!" Berserker Bill lowers his voice and grabs the wine and splashes it on Phyfe's face. He then shakes the captain a little, and scrambles to get his torture tools back in his pack before the woman comes in.
If he succeeds, he will say toward the door, "Wake up Captain! Are you all right?" When the woman comes in, Berserker Bill will put his ear over the Captain's mouth, checking for breath.

 

[LogicsFate]

"How was that?

"You did very well" patting him on the back "I'm proud"


After watching the seemingly practiced spectacle "O! He's just the Harbor Master? Well, I guess our work here, is done... unless ether of you want to try to get a ship!"

 

[Ranger Rick]

"Get a ship? You mean we can just point to a ship and get it?....I do not get it."

 

[LogicsFate]

"Get a ship? You mean we can just point to a ship and get it?....I do not get it."

"But you could!" K put's her arm around Desert and her other arm out in a wide sweeping motion "Imagine, sailing the high seas with a mighty crew, pillaging booty, raiding entire coastlines, becoming both filthy rich and the scourge of the seas" K pauses and frowns, afraid her point came out incorrectly "The scourge of pirates, of course, cause we'd be the good guys,...of course"

 

[Lazlow]

"Oh, you panty-waist piece of crap! Can nothing on this job go easy? Wake up!" Berserker Bill lowers his voice and grabs the wine and splashes it on Phyfe's face. He then shakes the captain a little, and scrambles to get his torture tools back in his pack before the woman comes in.
If he succeeds, he will say toward the door, "Wake up Captain! Are you all right?" When the woman comes in, Berserker Bill will put his ear over the Captain's mouth, checking for breath.

The Captain comes to with a start, sputtering and coughing. He wipes the wine from his face and looks around, and, upon seeing you, seems a bit surprised.

"I say, are you here for the reward? I do apologize, I must have fallen asleep with a full wine glass in my hand and had it spill all over me. I do hope you haven't been waiting long. I have your reward around here somewhere..." He begins looking around for the parchment he handed you a moment ago.

Meanwhile, a well-dressed middle aged woman pops her head around the corner and into the room. "Oh, Wiggy! Oh, Wiggy, I tho- Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were busy. I'll come back later."

 

[Ranger Rick]

"But you could!" K put's her arm around Desert and her other arm out in a wide sweeping motion "Imagine, sailing the high seas with a mighty crew, pilaging booty, raiding entire coastlines, becoming both filty rich and the scorge of the seas" K pauses and frowns, afraid her point came out incorrectly "The scourge of pirates, of course, cause we'd be the good guys,...of course"

Desert looks out and follows K's sweeping hand. "The seas do not look very high. Ansd instead of a crew, should it not be more important to have a boat? As for being filthy rich, I prefer to jnot be filthy. But the sails out there look very pretty."

 

[LogicsFate]

Desert looks out and follows K's sweeping hand. "The seas do not look very high. Ansd instead of a crew, should it not be more important to have a boat? As for being filthy rich, I prefer to jnot be filthy. But the sails out there look very pretty."

"Yes, yes, All that and more!" K says, glazes over deserts questions while waving her hand the other direction "Ranti! You, imagine all that stuff I just told Desert. We could go to exotic locales and learn the local styles and art, before burning it to the ground!...Of course, we wouldn't burn the good buildings" She turns to the elf with a hopeful look

 

[Wystan]

"We of course would first need to hire a dramatic pose artist and a reputable bard to sing our exploits and paint our entrances, well scetched and painted afterwards of course. We could be king and queen and well lackey of a small island chain in the middle of no-where...we would be rich, but of course we would have to pay exorbitant import prices as islands notoriously have poor economies and shops there tend to do poorly as there is no turn around of income. Hmmm, maybe we should try for a small port city instead and have a statue raised in our likeness' after we disposethe cruel government, that we would have to institute first of course, and save the village from the depredations of the social predators installed in the upper echelons of government above them. You Desert could be our minister of....our deputy of.... Our Master Librarian. K. you would be the main leader of the area, while I would be the face and do all the public speaking and Public relations work. We would become a thriving community and make sure that we were always ahead of the times with the clothing trends that we push. We could even revive the one breast showing look and the various other looks that the priggish churchs have always frowned upon."
I look to see if the captain is also taking all of this in...

"Sounds like a jolly interesting Idea there K."

 

[Gray Shade]

Berserker Bill helps the Captain right himself, and says, "Reward? No, my dear sir. I'm here inquiring about Sir Dudley. I am a representative of the Duke, who seeks Sir Dudley's service. Could you perhaps point me in his direction? Any help would be greatly appreciated."