That's it? That's it.
"Er, sure, but I think it's okay if we let the locals to their business in peace, eh, Desert? Your family's got lovely, gentle names. I'm sure you're all lovely, gentle souls. Would you like to come with us, Desert? We seek to . . ." Berserker Bill makes a fist in front of himself as if grabbing the very air by it's collar and shaking it down " . . . vanquish evil forces and cast them aside. But if that does not appeal to you, then consider that along the way we may find personal fortunes." When that doesn't seem to impress him, Bill nods over toward Ranti, "he's going. You wanna follow him don't you? He's awful shiny."
"And the way you threw that table about, we're all sure of your strength. Do you know how to use a sword? Or axe? Perhaps a glaive-guisarme? Perhaps you could just help out where you can."
"In any case, I will go ahead and deputize you all now."
Berserker Bill then abruptly leaves the tavern, only to return a moment later carrying a saddlebag. He clears space on the table, sets it down, opens it, and pulls out 5 sacks and distributes them one to each person at the table (Ranti, Speaker, K., Richard, and Desert). He then pulls a similar bag from his own backpack.
"What you have before you, honorable friends, is a bag containing most everything you will need to operate as a Deputy in the high Duke's sheriff force. Soon, you will be enabled, NAY, [highlight]obligated[/highlight] to enforce the laws and governances thereof. As for learning what the laws, bylaws, and such all are, well, you'll have to head to Delm's Heap, the very seat of Duke Sahazarred's power and high bureaucracy, and seek the legal arm of governance in the third sub-basement of the twenty-third tower, in the second district. There you will find a Sergeant of Papers named Wallace and his Deputy-Barrister Gromit. They are the keepers of the book of law."
"If, however, you do not wish to make such a journey, as I hope you don't because we're in a hurry and I don't think I'd be here to deputize you when you got back some time late next week, then just use your common sense. When in doubt: ask me if I'm around, I've been doing this for years."
"Now for the ceremony." He moves a nearby candle to the middle of the table, places a small vial down in front of himself from his pack and uncorks it. He takes a deep cleansing breath and closes his eyes. He opens one a little and looks at everyone. "You can hold hands, but you don't have to." With a tap on the top of the vial, he looks through his slit eye at Richard and says, "Don't worry--just pure, mountain spring water."
He then takes a foot long twig from his backpack, lights it on the candle and without a look throws it over his shoulder as it billows a choking thick smoke. In a quick movement and flick of the wrist, he grabs the vial and splashes it over everyone at the table. It is cool and refreshing, like the mist of a mountain stream. "ALLALLLAAAAA!!!!" he chants, then utters the words passed down from generation to generation in the Duke's Royal Sheriff's Agency: "sdaf a h uha fuiog ahgu rg ugn vjknljkzvn a! dksjf iuhg ew78 w47t gh84jsnv !!" He pauses to peek through a slitted eye at K. and adds "sdaf dfifjbiitr8 89uyRufus" then with eyes closed, "ghh jg nvdpolb boi!"
*OOC this is obviously a language other than common. I dunno who speaks what. Some of you may recognize bits and pieces. Lazlow, see spoiler, no one else, though, please*
After that he wipes sweat from his brow, looks at Speaker and says, "whew! Doin' ceremonies is tough mental work." He then takes a pen (with ink) and a small scrap of paper from his bag. He hands it to K., and says "Write your name and title on it and pass it around, pretty thing. Everyone, please do the same. I'll add the official seal and signature and send this in to the office by carrier pigeon for registering."
He then brushes his hands together and takes another deep breath. "That's it. You're all in. Congratulations. Normally, you'd all have to . . . you're in! All right!"
[sblock]Lazlow, please mark one smokestick and the vial of pure, mountain water off my character sheet. Also, Bill was speaking Giant and Undercommon, alternating the languages every three words. What he said was: "Might the might of the manly Duke's men at arms arms be in our arms, and with might may the smite! And may we be granted the wisdom and blindness of justice!" After the pause, he added, "Dang, she's hot, eh, Rufus? . . . but she ain't the one."[/sblock]
