Teaching my Boyfriend D&D - Path To Hell or Just Really Stupid?

[Angelsboi]

ok so i have this boyfriend who is really sweet right? He knows of my games on Saturdays and Sundays and he looks at me oddly when i have my books splayed out working on a adventure.

I want to teach him how to play and he has said he would come and watch a game one day, but yet hasnt.

How would i go about doing this?

 

[Crothian]

I'd just sit down and walk him through the basics. Expalin what role playing is and how it works. Then nby his reactions you know if you need to continue or not as he may not be interested once he hears about.

 

[Dr Midnight]

1. Path to Hell
2. Really stupid

Neither, I say- I'm guessing it can only bring good happy goodness. Rock on.

I don't suggest having him watch an ongoing game- jumping into a game to WATCH, mid-stream, is confusing and disorenting. He'll never get his bearings. I say do a one-shot of classic D&D material... Adventure box or Sunless Citadel, etc...

Good luck!

 

[drnuncheon]

Games Saturday and Sunday? Make sure you don't ditch him all weekend, every weekend!

Ideally, he would want to learn about it - if he doesn't, then I think trying to force it on him or even just to 'talk him into it' would not leave the best impression.

Does he have a lot of the "classic gamer" hobbies - is he into fantasy/sci-fi, anime, comics, SCA or Renfaire stuff, console games, anything like that? Not to perpetuate a stereotype but it seems like people who enjoy those are more likely to enjoy RPGs as well. It might also make it easier to talk about it - you could ask him for help on the adventures (plot help, not mechanics help). Like saying 'hey, if you were trying to rescue someone who's been kidnapped, and you found this cryptic note, what would you look for first?' I love to talk my plots over with a third party first, because their perspective often shores up holes or introduces a new element you hadn't even considered.

J

 

[Bonedagger]

I would see the fact that he didn't show up as a hint and make some assumptions....

Don't force anything. If that's the reason he's doing it and it turns out he doesn't like it he would probably see it as if you were trying put up an ultimatum. "If you wan't to be with me you have to like gaming..".

I could of course be completely wrong.

 

[Angelsboi]

he doesnt like video games that much. Hes pretty much straight except he likes guys. If that tells you anything.

 

[Oogar]

Convert 2nd Ed module Fighters Challenge, and give it a try one on one. Or an "Orc and Pie" adventure. Really easy to guess if he is going to like it, or not, pretty fast. But I think your first step is to ask him if he would like to try. Had a friend for a while who said she wouldn't mind watching, but didn't really want to play. I never invited her, and the relationship was not really any worse for having seperate hobbies. I do second the thought about being careful of weekend time. Depending on your schedule, some people just see a weekend as "Together Time".

 

[s/LaSH]

Has he seen the magnificent Lord Of The Rings movie? (I heard one reviewer called it a big male bonding session, and she had a point - there are, what, two women in the whole first film?) Try that as a sort of warmup to fantasy adventuring. 'This is what you can do with the power of your mind!'

It wouldn't hurt that (to judge from my sisters' responses; I'm straight) most of the male leads in the film are pretty hot. Honestly, my youngest sister saw the film six times in the theaters alone! If I wanted to RP with them (and I don't), I'd use LOTR as an intro and promise lots of elves.

And if you want you could check out my webcomic; it's more straight D&D than LOTR, but gaming experience is not strictly essential. It might have some useful 'bait' to get him interested, if you know what I mean.

 

[Shadowdancer]

Are you using the house rule that for every time your character gets hit, you have to take off an item of clothing? That might interest him.

 

[Ciaran]

I wish I could give advice from my own personal experience, but my last boyfriend kept calling my gaming "that cult thing" and my current boyfriend was a gamer for years before we ever met (yay!). I guess I'm just lucky, but you shouldn't need luck to deal with a situation like this.

My advice: get him to hang out with all of your most socially adept gamer friends without gaming, until he and they are all friends under non-gaming circumstances. Then, when a bunch of you are hanging out doing something non-gamey, have someone say, "Hey, why don't we run a one-shot game tonight?" Peer pressure should do the rest!

- Eric