Team Baldy's Tales From The OBO-ESRD Tavern! (Calling Hypersmurf)

[Agrajag]

I walk beside Sunderkeg and pick up the goblin shaking it vigorously until it awakes and, therefore, I begin to interrogate the Hellion to see if I can get any information on the intentions this little "band" had for the town. Shaking ever so strongly I ask him "You'd be best off if you fill me in on who sent ye here to this town, and for that matter why'd you come to this tavern, unless you'd like to answer to me and my fine friends here" I end with a heinous smile that promises a slow and excruciating death, and a sidelong glance at my weapon all the while widening my smile.

DM:
[sblock]that'd be a threat there if I e'er seen one[/sblock]

 

[Hypersmurf]

Hamm catches the eye of the two half-orcs, and gives a nod toward the door.

After that, he hops off his table, and pokes his head out into the open air, listening for any sound of mayhem elsewhere in town.

 

[Lazlow]

I walk beside Sunderkeg and pick up the goblin shaking it vigorously until it awakes and, therefore, I begin to interrogate the Hellion to see if I can get any information on the intentions this little "band" had for the town. Shaking ever so strongly I ask him "You'd be best off if you fill me in on who sent ye here to this town, and for that matter why'd you come to this tavern, unless you'd like to answer to me and my fine friends here" I end with a heinous smile that promises a slow and excruciating death, and a sidelong glance at my weapon all the while widening my smile.

DM:
[sblock]that'd be a threat there if I e'er seen one[/sblock]

Sunderkeg watches you scramble the goblin's head for a bit and then finally offers, "Eh, na doot he's wit th' Blood Eye Band... Yep. See?" He reaches down and pulls up part of the goblins ratty leather armor, on which is a crudely fashioned symbol:



"This is th' hoord that's been terrorizin' the toon these past few weeks. Demon-spawned dung heaps!" he growls, kicking the goblin in the head and knocking it out again. "They've been gettin' more audacious in their attacks as of late, but this... This isn't like them. This took some planning."

The tavernkeeper stands up and looks over all of you. "Ah, but yoo lot! Yoo certainly made quick work o' these beasties! Come, come, let me thank ye all, proper-like." He gestures towards a large table, waving a couple of patrons away from it. "Muirna! Food and drink for the heroes, here!" As you make your way to the table, he eyes each one of you carefully. "I wonder... Nah. You folks wouldn't be interested in... Nah. Nevermind." He purposefully lets his voice trail off and stands with this arms folded, feigning a disinterest in whether you might be interested or not...

 

[Lazlow]

Hamm catches the eye of the two half-orcs, and gives a nod toward the door.

After that, he hops off his table, and pokes his head out into the open air, listening for any sound of mayhem elsewhere in town.

As you look and listen outside, the only thing of interest is the two obviously oblivious town guards standing not 100 feet away from the tavern door. They see you, look at you for a second, then wave hello.

 

[DrZombie]

"Argh. Farlang's private parts nailed on a signpost. I hate this. Come on, spit it out, might as well ask us. You call this subtle? What do you want us to do? A little ethnic cleansing on the coutryside? Some genocide followed by looting and arson, when we're at it? "
He looks at the table, sits down , opens another flagon of ale, and says:
"Well, you might as well feed us while you're explaining".
He nods and waves at the guards.:"NEVER MIND US. WE'VE ONLY JUST KILLED SEVEN GOBLINS CUNNINGLY DISGUISED AS DISGUISED GOBLINS." He bellows.
He shakes his head, and says to the dwarf:"On the other hand, if Opey and Dopey there are all youv've got for protection, you're in deep horse-droppings. Might as well ask a bunch of homicidal total strangers to save your town."

 

[Isida Kep'Tukari]

"I'll be the judge of what I am and am not interested in," Karjanga says as she takes a proffered ale. "Speak man."

 

[Hypersmurf]

"This is th' hoord that's been terrorizin' the toon these past few weeks. Demon-spawned dung heaps!" he growls, kicking the goblin in the head and knocking it out again. "They've been gettin' more audacious in their attacks as of late, but this... This isn't like them. This took some planning."

"Your guardsmen don't think anything of a troop of goblin-sized strangers sneaking into a town terrorised by goblins?" Hamm asks.

"Though admittedly, their plan was indeed masterful."

He even manages to say it with a completely straight face.

 

[Lazlow]

"Argh. Farlang's private parts nailed on a signpost. I hate this. Come on, spit it out, might as well ask us. You call this subtle? What do you want us to do? A little ethnic cleansing on the coutryside? Some genocide followed by looting and arson, when we're at it? "
He looks at the table, sits down , opens another flagon of ale, and says:
"Well, you might as well feed us while you're explaining".
He nods and waves at the guards.:"NEVER MIND US. WE'VE ONLY JUST KILLED SEVEN GOBLINS CUNNINGLY DISGUISED AS DISGUISED GOBLINS." He bellows.
He shakes his head, and says to the dwarf:"On the other hand, if Opey and Dopey there are all youv've got for protection, you're in deep horse-droppings. Might as well ask a bunch of homicidal total strangers to save your town."

"Ach... Weel, it's nae the toon I'm really worried aboot," Sunderkeg says, a bit under his breath. "Even though the toon guard is nuthin' shoort o' incompetent." He nods to Hamm in agreement. "Noo, this is somethin' more... Personal. O' coorse, ye'll probably have ta deal wi' th' goblins, anyhoo. I can give any interested person a hundred gold up front, wi' five hundred moore upon satisfactory completion. Interested?"

 

[Hypersmurf]

"Come on, spit it out, might as well ask us. You call this subtle? What do you want us to do? A little ethnic cleansing on the coutryside? Some genocide followed by looting and arson, when we're at it?"

The very suggestion seems offensive to Hamm; his face clouds over.

"Ach... Weel, it's nae the toon I'm really worried aboot," Sunderkeg says, a bit under his breath. "Even though the toon guard is nuthin' shoort o' incompetent." He nods to Hamm in agreement. "Noo, this is somethin' more... Personal. O' coorse, ye'll probably have ta deal wi' th' goblins, anyhoo. I can give any interested person a hundred gold up front, wi' five hundred moore upon satisfactory completion. Interested?"

At the mention of the sum involved, however, the bard twitches.

"Well, now," he murmurs. "More personal than a goblin invasion? Tell on, good sir..."

DM:
[sblock]Anyone really, really perceptive might notice that Hamm's blue eyes turned grey with that twitch... as Grey took over. The money interests him, but Hamm's a bit too flighty, and Grey couldn't risk him walking out. So now, it's Grey disguised as Hamm doing the talking... (Also the reason for the change in text colour... he doesn't have the voice down perfect )[/sblock]

 

[DrZombie]

"Ach... Weel, it's nae the toon I'm really worried aboot," Sunderkeg says, a bit under his breath. "Even though the toon guard is nuthin' shoort o' incompetent." He nods to Hamm in agreement. "Noo, this is somethin' more... Personal. O' coorse, ye'll probably have ta deal wi' th' goblins, anyhoo. I can give any interested person a hundred gold up front, wi' five hundred moore upon satisfactory completion. Interested?"

"And what is it that we should do? Rescue some innocents? A damsel in distress perhaps? Something about fifty well-armed villagers are unable to do?" the half-orc asks with heavy sarcasm dripping from every vowel.