Teh.BEST.NPC.Evar!!!11!!!!

There are two memorable NPCs that I've run so far....

First, the second-favorite. In my Oriental Adventures campaign two years ago or thereabouts, the party was traveling across Rokugan to investigate the Emperor Toturi's death at the behest of Akodo Kaneka. Somewhere around the Lion Clan's territory, they had to cross a river (Kawa Mitsu Kishi, Three Sides River) but set up camp first as it grew too dark for easy travel through the forest. At the banks of the river that night, as the party was busy exercising, eating, scouting, meditating, and such, a small creature crept into their camp and tried to steal several jugs of rice wine (sake and shochu) and bundles of food. One or two PCs succeeded at their Spot and Listen checks as it rummaged through their stuff a few yards behind their backs, and they got everyone's attention, including the critter.

It turned out to be a kappa, a small but powerful humanoid turtle, a capricious spirit creature. Jigoru it claimed as its name, and master of the Three Sides River, which they dared to trespass upon (at least one PC had just bathed in the river, and one other had been refilling their water skins at the river, as another meditated by it). Jigoru the egomaniacal and greedy little kappa badgered the PCs who accused it of stealing their supplies, as he accused them of trespassing on his home and messing with his stuff, and "staring greedily at Jigoru's river"........as though they could even 'steal' the river. I have no idea why they didn't just slaughter the little kappa on the spot for its rudeness and theft, or at least scare it off, but instead they tried to negotiate with Jigoru for safe passage and forgiveness....

It was awesome. :D The PCs kept trying to placate and deal with the kappa as it kept insulting them, calling them rude, and ranting at them for disturbing the serenity and defiling nature in his territory. And Jigoru kept talking about how he'd rather eat the 'annoying soft-skins', which is probably one reason why they somehow worried about offending him, despite the fact he was hardly 2 or 3 feet tall and unarmed. Everyone went back and forth from being rude to diplomatic and back again.....but Jigoru was mostly just rude and threatening. Eventually, Jigoru convinced them to let him take three bags of rice, two loaves of bread, a bag of some food spice, a bit of gold, a jug of sake, and a blanket......

Link: http://www.geocities.com/mist_phantom/index.html. It's the Eighth Session Log, in the Session Logs section, kinda early in that log.... My old campaign website. I think it reads better in the log than the way I just described it.

Next, the NPC that was most fun for me to run and for a PC to interect with..... It was a one-shot, one-session adventure I made and ran for one of my friends just before he had to move away. This was around 4 years ago IIRC, and the session went on for most of the evening and on into the night till around 4 or 5 a.m. I think. My friend played a 10th-level human nomad-psion that was built to be more like a fighter, in that his stats, gear, and psionics were oriented towards making him better in melee and more mobile (with one or two ranged powers just in case, like Baleful Teleport). As usual, his character was named Stryfe.

The PC was entering a new city and looking for adventure, so he went into every inn and tavern around the city looking for stuff to do, talking to fellow adventurers, and trying to find a job, but mostly just annoying folks. In one tavern, he interrupted two men at a table who were discussing a deal. A merchant was negotiating with some seasoned adventurer in fine clothing, who looked like some kind of swashbuckling aristocrat. Stryfe tried to get the deal instead, but the aristo was ticked off (I had already given him the impression that the man was haughty and snobbish, from the way he interacted with the merchant, and from the dialogue I spoke for the NPC). As I sometimes do, I spoke in a different voice and accent to make the NPC more distinctive, using a slight, faked British accent and some snarky dialogue.

Thus did my friend's PC meet a randomly-thought-up, spur-of-the-moment NPC I spontaneously named Tharion, a snobbish and haughty aristocrat-in-exile who'd been forced to leave his family's homeland after some undisclosed problems. He was very well-trained and educated because of the resources his family possessed, before he was forced to leave (likely because of his attitude and ego-driven actions). This my friend learned gradually as he spoke with the NPC, but not all in his first encounter with Tharion (who wouldn't disclose his last name, obviously since he was exiled by his family).

My friend decided to continue talking to this NPC because he liked the immediate, snarky, scathing insult the NPC opened up with when interrupted in his negotiations. {:^D The two traded insults and witty banter for a few minutes, all very spontaneous yet very ingenious and fun. We were smirking and laughing any time that we weren't mimicking the facial expressions the characters were supposed to be giving while bickering and such. Tharion made it very clear that he didn't like this stranger coming in and trying to steal his deal, as it was looking to be a very lucrative and easy little job for an adventurer experienced and great as Tharion was. :D So my friend had Stryfe remove one of his steel gauntlets and slap Tharion across the face with it, challenging him to a duel.

Now as I said, Tharion was a spontaneous creation because I had expected my friend to enter the first tavern by the town's entrance, if any, where I had an NPC that would be the adventure hook. Being a novice DM at the time, I didn't think to just place the NPC in the first random tavern Stryfe would enter. And he decided to walk a block or two before choosing to check out the taverns. He didn't get to the right tavern until every other one was checked and devoid of any good jobs for an adventurer of his calibre. So, here he was going outside to duel a spontaneous NPC. On the spot I decided, based on the few ideas I thought up while guessing how to RP Tharion's attitude and such, that Tharion would be something like a 3rd-level aristocrat, 6th-level fighter, 3rd-level ranger, based on the experience he had as an adventurer and his noble training, and based on the armor and weapons I described him as having when Stryfe first looked at him.

Tharion proceeded to whup on Stryfe with his longsword-and-battleaxe techniques, using a +1 flaming battleaxe and +1 shocking longsword, wearing some +2 or +3 studded leather. All things considered, Stryfe should've been a fair match for him (Tharion's aristo and ranger levels didn't really help him in combat, compared to what he'd have gotten for 6 more fighter levels otherwise, such as Improved Crit in both weapons and Power Attack or something). As it was, Tharion had about a 16 Str and 16 Dex, with WF and WS in both weapons, plus Improved TWF, so he was dealing over a dozen damage per hit, on average, and had an AC rivalling Stryfe's. Stryfe was wielding a potent psionic spear, himself dealing almost as much damage per hit (but not quite), and getting only half as many attacks per round. Stryfe had chosen not to use his psionic powers, so as not to 'cheat' in the duel, but I think he was at least employing his Psionic Weapon feat to deal a bit more damage. Throughout the short fight, both combatants traded blows, went back and forth from offensive to defensive fighting, each drinking a potion or something at one point IIRC, and were even trading insults and other witty banter as they went.

It was great, but too short once my friend challenged Tharion to a duel. After half a dozen or so rounds maybe, Stryfe was lying on the ground unconscious, and Tharion left him on the street while going to secure the deal he had been negotiating. Tharion had critted Stryfe at least once or twice with his battleaxe during the fight, surprisingly enough. Slightly differently than intended, I had an NPC cleric wandering down the street at the time, who came and healed Stryfe to full health out of pity, not knowing that Stryfe had provoked a duel, not simply beat up by random violence. Instead of asking the cleric to help him out for a bit as I expected (figuring that he needed some NPC ally's help during the coming adventure), he thanked the cleric and left. Eventually, Stryfe found the plot-hook NPC and got drawn into an adventure to retrieve a sacred relic from some nearby ruins, atop a great mountain.

At this point, my friend decided he could use some help to survive whatever he'd encounter at the temple (despite the fact that he wouldn't hold back on applying his psionic might in a non-dueling fight). You know what he did? No, he didn't go find that friendly, reasonably potent cleric that saved him from bleeding to death on the street (the NPC cleric restored him to full health with just one spell). He went back to the tavern with haughty and offensive Tharion, and with some witty remarks, veiled insults about the man's skill and strength, and imploring him for his very capable aid in a venture he would surely not survive alone......Stryfe convinced Tharion, of all people, to be his ally for the adventure. The guy who had only too happily, that same day, kicked his can all over the street and left him for dead. I was boggled, but intrigued.

So for the next several hours of the session, I got to roleplay Tharion the egotistical, haughty, ex-aristocrat, adventurer. Turned out to be very fun for both of us, and Tharion proved both useful and humorous in battle. Besides loudly keeping count of the enemies he'd beaten during each battle, and blithely asking Stryfe how he was doing, only to trump the poor psion, apparently unscathed from each battle (the two split up frequently at the ruins, going into separate buildings to explore, Tharion coming out each time without so much as a smudge on his pristine armor), Tharion managed to get in some pretty silly situations during the battles where the two fought together against foes. Tharion would get picked up by harpies and flown about the place like a hapless child, dropped on his rump when Stryfe shot down the harpies with arrows from his psionic bow, then Tharion would get skewered or thrown around by minotaurs, stuck in Ectoplasmic Cocoons from psionic enemies, and telekinetically flung around by said psionic enemies.

Still, Tharion kicked some arse, and ultimately helped Stryfe to survive, all the while still being snarky and arrogant even when Stryfe saved him from one tough spot or another. Not only did he distacted enemies, he proved fairly effective at mincing them up whenever he wasn't being grappled or stunned. Throughout the trip through the street, into the forest, up the mountain, through the ruins, and back down to the city once more, Tharion continued to throw witty quips, insults, and insultingly-phrased tips at Stryfe, all in a humorous manner which Stryfe returned. From starting a cookfire to gathering firewood, hunting game in the forest for lunch, mounting a horse, wielding a weapon, or throwing an insult, Tharion had a sarcastic comment for each, a tip on how a noble-trained proper man would do it, and an immediate example of said noble-trained proper man out-doing the common man (not even vaguely-veiled to mean 'Stryfe'). Stryfe would try to start a fire, Tharion already had one going strong. Stryfe caught a rabbit for lunch, Tharion dragged back to camp a mighty stag shot through the throat with one arrow. Stryfe walks out of a ruined building partly-singed from battling with half a dozen shocker lizards, Tharion is already waiting around bored and unscathed after having slain a slew of giant spiders in the adjacent building.

My friend just laughed and took it in stride, knowing that Tharion was a better warrior and woodsmen because, of course, Stryfe was a pure psion himself, not a true warrior. He handled himself well and had fun, and always had some remarks for Tharion after the arrogant, pompous arse already one-upped him. And he loved seeing Tharion get treated like an impotent child when bigger enemies started picking him up and throwing him around like a ragdoll. :^D Tharion of course only had insults and witty remarks for the opponents even as they did this to him, and would insult Stryfe into helping him out. Stryfe had much of the same to say to Tharion too, of course. All in all, a very fun and witty session for both of us. Tharion is my favorite NPC of all time, and I'd sure love to roleplay him again sometime and see how other players react to the snarky, aristocratic, arse-kicking brat.
 

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Let's see...a couple of good ones. It's hard to come up with a favorite.

The first one that springs to mind is Barghaelyss the Ogre Mage. Ooh, the players hated him. HATED him. One of his many schemes was to hire a group of young, inexperienced adventurer heroes to take out his rivals. Of course, he appeared in a much less threatening form (a nondescript older man), and the unwitting adventurers he hired were the PCs. I played him with a haughty, sort of generically british accent, and while he was arrogant and harsh, he was a good patron to the players. When his true nature was finally revealed, the PCs were all ready to go to town on him, but he countered by asking them what, other than disguise his identity, he had done wrong? He had never betrayed them, never asked hem to commit a crime, but had only ever had them fight monstrous opponents that, in other circumstances, they would have wanted to fight anyway. Just because he himself was a monster, does that lessen the good that the group had done in the world?

All but a few of the PCs bought it, and those that didn't were pretty morally ambiguous anyway. The game didn't continue on for much longer, but I would have loved playing out a group of more-or-less good PCs working for an Evil employer, up to the point where the PCs were powerful enough to oppose Barghaelyss directly. What would they have chosen to do?

Another fun NPC was Archbishop Lahren, from another more recent game. A complete looney, that believed elves were impure and evil, but you would never know it from talking to him. He seemed like a reasonable person, kind and good-humoured, until one of the PCs got him talking about elves. He went into a wild-eyed, spittle-flecked rant, the intensity of which really caught the players off guard. I think they might have thought of him as a potential ally against the big, evil stuff gong on until that point, where their opinions of him turned a complete 180. That was fun.
 


Noble mother of one of the player characters - she was the villian for a number of games.

...She did not like her son's friends - tried to have them killed

...Wanted her son to marry well - had a princess kidnapped and had he son assigned the task of recovery

...Wanted son to be important - created a number of high profile adventures for him

She worked mostly with other NPCs but when the group found out she was behind things...leading them to traps, working from the inside. :lol:
 

Zahnna a Thief(Rogue). She was mute from having her tongue removed by some annoyed ogres. She managed to escape them, joined an adventurer's group and then later joined ours. She was a lot of fun and every so often makes an occasional appearance in my games.
 


Just thought I'd toss mine in...

The Collector. No one had any clue what his real name was, but every BBEG knew him and eventually so did the party. I've used him in every game I've ran as a campaign, even cross system, so statting him would be an adventure in and of itself. Suffice it to say that he was everyone's worst nightmare when it came to magic items. Especially unique ones. Whenever the PCs (or NPCs for that matter) got the fabled This of That, the Collector would eventually appear and demand the item for his collection. Unfortunately for the PCs, 'no' was not an acceptable response. Of all the NPCs I've run, the one talked about most is him, and not because he was in every campaign....
 

Not close to the best ever, but:

Gorin. Gorin was an advanced ghoul cleric, formerly asigned to work for necromancer. Murdered and used for expirements, he was warded into the dungeon where the party was hiding out. After some tense negotiation, they began to deal with him. They'd remove the wards, if he'd show them the way out.

The thing about Gorin was his mannerisms. I used the way my former roomate's Parrot would tilt its head from side to side and look at things with it's neck at an odd angle. Only then, I expanded it. Gorin was circling, stretching out and moving at strange angles to everything. And his face would flex and twist, pulling tight and then relaxing as he spoke, driving his tone from a deep grainy growl to a hiss. Speech-pattern wise, he was an imitation of Gollum from the LoTR movies with the comedy and whining taken out. He disturbs two of my PC's to this day.

The other that earned points was a 2E evil fighter/rogue named Norris. Norris was the NPC in charge of an evil mining camp, where they were using captured workers to mine demon dust. The party was captured, separated, and put into pits with boarded over tops. After a day or so he came swaggering by, light pouring in behind his arrogant smile and asked each person if they had any information for him. The party refused to answer. He came back the next day bearing a plate of delicious food. And he asked again, if they remembered anything. The answer was no, and he said "Too bad. I would have liked to have given you some food." The next day, he dropped just a touch of roast into the pit of the most talkative PC, just enough to let the taste come through the dirt, and let the hunger make his offer even more tempting.
They planned so much revenge on him.

The other one I can think of was Thompson. Thompson is the name that's given to any underskilled captured foe. He's a re-occurring character in my games. Every time, he's in over his head and always seems to come to a bad end for example, once his arm was ripped off by demons and he was left for dead while he slowly bled to death. Another game he was turned into a regenerating half-ghoul with two voices in his head before being starved, cut into pieces, while still alive, and then burned and his ashes dipped in holy water. The phrase "poor, poor Thompson" is a table saying now.
 

ThoughtBubble said:
Not close to the best ever, but:

Oh, it's a purely subjective thing. Perhaps "most memorable" or "most fun" or "most challenging" would have been a better way to put it? That's more what I meant, anyway. :)
 

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