0. Don't think of me as the DM think of me as the omnipotent diety who will be opposing you in the game.
1. A TPK = victory for the DM. I will dance a little jig if I kill off all the PCs, it's my right to gloat about how much better I am than you.
2. My girlfriends character is just more important to the game than your character is, you might as well just accept that now.
3. If your not the DM then you don't get to look in the DMG.....ever.
4. Every word that comes out of my mouth is official, if you try to look something up and argue with me I'll kick you out of the game. I don't make mistakes, ever.
5. I make the rules so I can break them any time I want.
6. Sit down and play your character how I told you too.
7. Sorry I didn't get the module finished I was out drinking all last night, you don't mind if I just wing it do you? I didn't think so.
8. If your attention is not focused on me 100% of the time then I will kill your character. Going to the bathroom during gameplay is no excuse for not knowing what is going on every second of the game.
9. You are only allowed to talk in-character, if you say, "hey I'm going to get a coke from the fridge, does anybody want one?", I will assume that your character left the dungeon to go get drinks for the party, If you say "I attack the orc" and don't specify "I draw my sword" I will assume you are punching him. There is no going back and replaying a scene so you better watch what you say at all times.
10. This is not a game, this is my game. You will take it seriously or I will take it personally.
