Steve Jung
Explorer
I hope things work out for you.
THE BIG "D"---i never thought it would be me:(
- Thread starter spidertrag
- Start date
I will add to the chorus...
Consult a lawyer NOW. It doesn't mean you absotulely need to retain one (since divorce only make divorce lawyers rich), but you need to know what your rights, oblitgations and protetive measures should be.
It does sound to me like you have been set up. Happened to one of my best friends from college. Wife and kids go to sister's house for a visit in another state, he goes for a visit, assault allegation/charges are filed with sister as "witness", joint bank accounts cleaned out. His divorce took two years and she got him thrown in jail by filing a complaint that he had been verbally abusive on the phone...got him 10 days in a lovely Florida jail. Make sure you protect yourself.
I agree that you should fight for custody of your daughter (or at least joint custody), otherwise you run the risk of becoming a faceless checkbook while your wife lines up her next meal ticket. However, as "enlightened" as we would like to think family courts are in the 21st century, the sad fact is that the wife/mother still holds all the cards in many state family courts...most dads are considered to be deadbeat, alcoholic abusers even before the first motion is filed.
Stop your direct deposit ASAP and document everything - dates, times, payments (use only checks, no cash). Immediately cancel or freeze all joint accounts (including credit cards, store accounts, gas cards) so you don't get stuck with a bunch of unpaid debts.
As far as "dying alone"...I can empathize. My first (and disasterous) marriage ended in divorce at the 7 year mark. Although I couldn't see it at the time, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Got remarried a couple of years later...have two great kids...am much more successfully professionally than I ever was with my psycho practice wife.
Hang in there...protect yourself...don't be a doormat...you will get through it.
~ OO
Consult a lawyer NOW. It doesn't mean you absotulely need to retain one (since divorce only make divorce lawyers rich), but you need to know what your rights, oblitgations and protetive measures should be.
It does sound to me like you have been set up. Happened to one of my best friends from college. Wife and kids go to sister's house for a visit in another state, he goes for a visit, assault allegation/charges are filed with sister as "witness", joint bank accounts cleaned out. His divorce took two years and she got him thrown in jail by filing a complaint that he had been verbally abusive on the phone...got him 10 days in a lovely Florida jail. Make sure you protect yourself.
I agree that you should fight for custody of your daughter (or at least joint custody), otherwise you run the risk of becoming a faceless checkbook while your wife lines up her next meal ticket. However, as "enlightened" as we would like to think family courts are in the 21st century, the sad fact is that the wife/mother still holds all the cards in many state family courts...most dads are considered to be deadbeat, alcoholic abusers even before the first motion is filed.
Stop your direct deposit ASAP and document everything - dates, times, payments (use only checks, no cash). Immediately cancel or freeze all joint accounts (including credit cards, store accounts, gas cards) so you don't get stuck with a bunch of unpaid debts.
As far as "dying alone"...I can empathize. My first (and disasterous) marriage ended in divorce at the 7 year mark. Although I couldn't see it at the time, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Got remarried a couple of years later...have two great kids...am much more successfully professionally than I ever was with my psycho practice wife.
Hang in there...protect yourself...don't be a doormat...you will get through it.
~ OO
Eosin the Red
First Post
Teflon Billy said:This is a gross oversimplification, but take it for what it's worth...
My divorce (at the 7 year point in my marriage) was the best thing that could've happened to me.
My second marriage is incredible
Use the first one a s a learning experience and move on. You will be a lot better at this next time around.
You too?
I was married to Satan first go around.
?
BiggusGeekus
That's Latin for "cool"
As long as we're all harping on him to get a lawyer....
My rule is that if you walk into a courtroom for any reason, you should have one. Period. You know all that money you were saving for a rainy day? If you walk into a courtroom, it's raining very hard. Every legal horror story I know of involves people who thought they would fight harder for their own case. That may be true, but lawyers fight better.
My rule is that if you walk into a courtroom for any reason, you should have one. Period. You know all that money you were saving for a rainy day? If you walk into a courtroom, it's raining very hard. Every legal horror story I know of involves people who thought they would fight harder for their own case. That may be true, but lawyers fight better.
I don't know if you still have the time to come here and read this.
Many people have told you to get a lawyer. DO.
My parents got estranged when I was 17. Everyone deals with such a shock differently, and thankfully your daughter is still little, I reckon. (Yes thankfully. She'll process it differently.)
My thoughts are with you. I am sure you are a good man. A lawyer will know how to make that come through in court. And (keeping in mind, of course, that I only heard your side of the story - but I believe you're completely sincere) your wife is NOT a good woman. And again, your lawyer will know how to make that come through in court.
This doesn't have to do with RIGHTS either yours or your wife's. That can be the relevant subject for money, for properties, for a ton other things (and DO protect them! She's spoiling your present - don't let her spoil your future). But as for your daughter - it's a matter of whom she'll be better off with. And from what you say, I say that person is YOU.
I don't pray, but you can be sure I'm thinking of you and your daughter, and cheering for both of you. (Without pompoms, I look horrid in pompoms.) So take our REAL advice - get a lawyer to fight for you in court, and come here whenever you want for what we can all give you and what we're always here for - some cheering up.
Many people have told you to get a lawyer. DO.
My parents got estranged when I was 17. Everyone deals with such a shock differently, and thankfully your daughter is still little, I reckon. (Yes thankfully. She'll process it differently.)
My thoughts are with you. I am sure you are a good man. A lawyer will know how to make that come through in court. And (keeping in mind, of course, that I only heard your side of the story - but I believe you're completely sincere) your wife is NOT a good woman. And again, your lawyer will know how to make that come through in court.
This doesn't have to do with RIGHTS either yours or your wife's. That can be the relevant subject for money, for properties, for a ton other things (and DO protect them! She's spoiling your present - don't let her spoil your future). But as for your daughter - it's a matter of whom she'll be better off with. And from what you say, I say that person is YOU.
I don't pray, but you can be sure I'm thinking of you and your daughter, and cheering for both of you. (Without pompoms, I look horrid in pompoms.) So take our REAL advice - get a lawyer to fight for you in court, and come here whenever you want for what we can all give you and what we're always here for - some cheering up.
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