The Chronicle of Burne, and Some Others of Lesser Importance *Updated May 17th, 2009*

[Rolzup]

To Walk the City Streets

The return to CITY was largely uneventful. Joachim and Delphine bickered, and then got married, Mallus got drunk, and I was confronted by a serious dearth of things that I could safely set afire.

What a relief it was to finally stand upon solid ground once more!

The CITY welcomed us back with open arms, as the saviors of St.Tarte. I accepted the accolades with dignity and grace; the people need a proper hero, after all, and who better than Burne?

WHATEVER THEY WERE CHEERING FOR, IT WASN'T BURNE. KENJI, BEING WISER THAN BURNE, INSISTED UPON ANONYMITY.

BEING WISER THAN BURNE REALLY ISN'T MUCH OF A TRICK, THOUGH.

The next few days were a whirlwind of activity. Delphine was hustled off by Naval personnel; it seems as though her father had reported that was missing, and presumed kidnapped. Joachim was dissuaded from fighting to prevent this reunion of father and child, as it was deemed best that St. Sous remain ignorant of his daughter's marriage. Joachim moped about, but returned to work at the Palm d'Whorl. The madman returned to his filthy do-jo, and Kenji and Rackhir did whatever it is that ignorant foreigners do with the free time; folded paper, perhaps.

And I? I had an opportunity, thanks to the good Captain Revi. The Navy had a need for men with talents like mine....

 

[Rolzup]

Interlude: A Few Words from the Inestimable Burne

A few days after the group's return to CITY, Burne vanishes. He'd seemed distracted for several days, more than usually irritable, and kept muttering to himself, so his disappearance doubtless came as something of a relief to the others.

Sadly, he *re*appears a day later. With news, important news! Or so he claims….

"Gentlem…ah, I mean frien…no, that's not right…comrades! Yes, comrades! Comrades, I have come to the realization that my present situation is simple intolerable. My alchemical laboratory no longer suffices for anything but the most basic of preparations, and I can no longer bear to have my genius stifled in such a fashion.

"So. I spent the morning seeking a solution, and behold! A solution I have found."

Burne pauses dramatically. Abraxis makes a noise that sounds remarkably like a groan of despair.

"I have been accepted into the Naval Academy, where I will be undergoing...ah...special training."

He laughs, a little nervously.

"Purely a formality in my case, I'm sure. There certainly won't be any marching or exercising involved. Even a casual glance will reveal that I am, after all, in perfect physical condition, and should not be induced to embark upon a forced march in the! Driving! Rain!"

One eyelid twitches convulsively.

"In any case, this should lead into my induction into the Fulminant and Acquisitive Research Division of the naval authority, where my unique talents will most certainly be recognized, celebrated, and -- dare I say it? -- rewarded."

Burne smiles, his gaze becoming suddenly distant.

"Unrestricted access to elemental phlogiston," he murmurs rapturously. "The possibilities, the potential!"

He pauses, shakes his head, and his eyes snap back into focus.

"Alas," he continues in a more normal tone, "This opportunity is not without its tragedies. For the month of so of my 'training', I shall be incommunicado. Not by choice, you understand, but I'm sure that the Navy has their reasons.

"So, I shall have my lab but you -- sadly -- will be without Burne. Only for a time, though, only for a time! I will have an opportunity to undertake certain...projects," he glances sidelong at Abraxis, "As well as conduct some research into Xian's difficulties. In fact, I feel reasonably certain that I can find an answer that does not in any way involve adultery, incest, or blasphemous violations of the laws of gods and man."

Burne considers for a moment. "I make no promises as to the latter, actually."

"Once my obligations have been discharged, and my work somewhat resolved, I will be free to rejoin you in your quest to bring fiery justice to the waterfront. Until then, I am sure that you can contact me in case of an emergency…although I would prefer it if no such emergency were to arise.

"Well!" he claps his together. "I have preparations to make, explosives to pack. I'm supposed to report precisely at noon, and being late simply isn't an option. I shall make my presence known upon my return, by which time I am sure that you will have the present situation well in hand."

 

[Rolzup]

An Editorial Note

...and with this, Burne takes a brief hiatus from the game. Just Burne himself, mind -- not the story hour.

At this point in the campaign, Burne had a lot of creations to...um, create, and completely lacked the time and the facilities to do so. And I, for my own part, had an idea for another character....

So, for a period of about three months real-time, and a matter of only a few weeks game-time, Burne's place was taken by an entirely different sort of fellow....

(And, for the record, by the time his replacement's tenure had ended, I was greatly looking forward to running Burne again. Just as I had hoped.)

 

[Rackhir]

The player who was running the madman (AKA Druid/Barb) also switched to running an wiz(?)/alienist at this time as well. Thus depriving us of any more quotes involving pudding. His "Pseudonatural" creatures were basically muppets in appearence.

 

[Mallus]

Right... Any Seven left the group to pursue his life's true passion, schizophrenia. Only to be replaced by the far more lucid and erudite Prof. Hugo Chakraraja-Glaffston, of the CITY University of Conjuration Sciences.

Who summoned muppets.

And also managed to strike up a meaningful conversation with a caveman while at the Queen's Dancehall; a plot-thread I was very sorry to see let go.

 

[Gold Roger]

Who summoned muppets.

Awesome. But past tense? So he's at this point already gone? How sad, I was hoping for Muppet'y goodness.

 

[Mallus]

So he's at this point already gone?

That player dropped out of the campaign soon after. I'd like to think I drove him away with my particular take on D&D, but thats probably giving myself too much credit. Scheduling issues are the more likely reason.

But don't worry. He was replaced by Meiji, played by a shadowy figure known as shilsen around here, another foreign devil from Ajakhan, whose battle-cry is 'not in the face', and who just might have had a threesome with a semi-goddess and a bound demoness. On their first date, no less. Damn, did I say that out loud...

 

[Rackhir]

Awesome. But past tense? So he's at this point already gone? How sad, I was hoping for Muppet'y goodness.

I think he only summoned them once and that was for some pest control. Unfortunately, his tactical sense was more appropriate for the madman as his other major contribution to combat was casting "Stinking Cloud".

Between US and Lord Kenji. When he was cut off and surrounded by about 8 acolytes casting "Sound Burst" at him..

Then refusing to dismiss it...

 

[Rolzup]

Awesome. But past tense? So he's at this point already gone? How sad, I was hoping for Muppet'y goodness.

He's present for the next few installments, at least.

And my own new character, Edouard, was a Druid/Rogue/Assassin...but not what you might think. He was a professional, so he was. And entirely respectable, at that.

 

[shilsen]

But don't worry. He was replaced by Meiji, played by a shadowy figure known as shilsen around here, another foreign devil from Ajakhan, whose battle-cry is 'not in the face', and who just might have had a threesome with a semi-goddess and a bound demoness. On their first date, no less. Damn, did I say that out loud...

Bastard - you just like taunting me because even I can't remember if it was good for me too!

Note to self: Borrow flaming hat and vegetative boots for next date.