The Chronicle of Burne, and Some Others of Lesser Importance *Updated May 17th, 2009*

[Gold Roger]

That player dropped out of the campaign soon after. I'd like to think I drove him away with my particular take on D&D, but thats probably giving myself too much credit. Scheduling issues are the more likely reason.

But don't worry. He was replaced by Meiji, played by a shadowy figure known as shilsen around here, another foreign devil from Ajakhan, whose battle-cry is 'not in the face', and who just might have had a threesome with a semi-goddess and a bound demoness. On their first date, no less. Damn, did I say that out loud...

But... Muppets! *goes to cry himself to sleep over the lack of muppets-from-behind-the-fringe-of-sanity in D&D*

 

[Rackhir]

Bastard - you just like taunting me because even I can't remember if it was good for me too!

Note to self: Borrow flaming hat and vegetative boots for next date.

Only if you agree to serve as the punching bag while I'm in japan.

But... Muppets! *goes to cry himself to sleep over the lack of muppets-from-behind-the-fringe-of-sanity in D&D*

The madman was really far more interesting. The Alienist was just a boring academic.

 

[Mallus]

The madman was really far more interesting.

He successfully intimidated a naval thug with a ball of yarn. I've never seen that done before... or since. Or, I suspect, ever again...

 

[shilsen]

Only if you agree to serve as the punching bag while I'm in japan.

I would never presume to try to do that. You can't replace perfection - in this case, Rackhir.

The madman was really far more interesting. The Alienist was just a boring academic.

I don't get it. You should never be able to have "Alienist" and "boring" in the same sentence.

He successfully intimidated a naval thug with a ball of yarn. I've never seen that done before... or since. Or, I suspect, ever again...

With that, however, the alienist probably had a tough act to top. Though Nameless (Rackhir's alienist in my Eberron game) has managed to intimidate - and nauseate - people with a bowl of tentacle soup, or even a reference thereof.

 

[Rolzup]

Interlude: Enter the Ratcatcher

It was a slow morning in the Pig and Pteradon.

The regulars were there, of course, slumped in various dark corners of the tavern. It's remarkable, really, how many dark corners the place has.

Gerard DeFountaine was making a token effort of polishing the bartop, succeeding only at burnishing the topmost layer of grime to a high sheen. He looked up as the door opened, letting in a weak beam of sunlight that almost seemed to recoil from the squalor thus revealed. A man followed it in, resplendent in a grimy scarlet greatcoat, his clothing streaked and spotted with filth.

"Edouard," the barkeep called, "Good to see you, man!"

"And Duchess," he added, his face falling, as a mastiff-sized rat trotted in behind the ratcatcher. "Can't forget Duchess," he said mournfully.

Edouard Finké doffed his hat, revealing a head largely bereft of hair, and nodded in greeting. "Give us the usual, Gerard. Both of us, if you'd be so kind."

"Whisky it is, then. And...ah...has Duchess refined her tastes at all?"

" 'fraid not," Edoaurd replied as he seated himself at the bar, "You're a creature of habit, ain'tcha girl?"

The rat leapt atop the bar, tail lashing, and snarled at the barkeep.

"Gin and milk it is, then," Gerard muttered, filling a bowl. "Bloody disgusting, that. Sin against man and nature."

"But it's been a while, mate," he continued, "Not since that monumental piss-up, the night after you killed Black Peter!"

"Black Peter," the other man sighed. "Now there was a rat's rat, and no mistake. Almost miss him some days, I do. Takes all the challenge out of ratcatching, him being gone."

Gerard chuckled. "Well, I don't miss him, mate. None of us do. No more baby-eating for that bastard, eh?" He leaned forward, lowering his voice a bit. "Did you do it, then? Like you promised?"

"That I did, me friend. Take a look." Edouard opened his coat, revealing a cuirass of black leather. "Black Peter's own hide, and may it do me more good than it did him."

"It's a shame, in a way, though," Gerard mused. "Oh, to be sure, he was a murderous beast. But I've never heard a better poet."

"Aye," Edouard nodded. "That rat could write one hell of a sonnet, he could. And his limericks? None finer."

"Limericks? Never knew Black Peter recited limericks, Edouard. Seems...beneath him, somehow. Too low-brow for him, I should think."

"Not many did know. Only his victims, and it was the last thing they ever heard."

"But how do you...."

"He was a fine poet, sure. But too damned arrogant for his own good. Thought he had me finished, and didn't think Duchess was any kind of a threat, her bein' his own kin and all."

He reached out, scratching the enormous beast behind her ears. "Last mistake he ever made, eh darlin'?"

Duchess arched her back, and rumbled with pleasure. Gerard, with difficulty, restrained another shudder.

"Again," Edouard sighed, finishing his drink. "Been a long damned night, it has."

Gerard poured, silently staring at the ratcatcher. "No offense," he offered after a moment, "But you look like hell, Edouard."

Finké nodded, wearily. "I feel like I been shot at and missed, then s--t at and hit, you know?"

Gerard nodded, a look of relief on his face. "I wasn't going to mention the smell," he began, "But...."

"I spent the evening," Edouard interrupted, "In the company of the Four Crazy Bastards."

The tavern went still. "Go on," exclaimed Gerard. "You're pullin' me leg, right? The Four Crazy Bastards? You?"

"Jokin'? Ha. Only wish I was, me friend. Wish I was...."

"What, all of them?"

Staring into his glass, Edoaurd shook his head. "No, just two of them, and that was enough. The Pretty Man, and the Bloody Archer."

"Is it true," asked a voice from the corner of the room, "That he dyes his clothes in the blood of his victims?"

The ratcatcher considered that for a moment. "Could be," Edouard concluded, sagely. "Could be, indeed."

Gerard filled another glass, almost eagerly. "What about the others? The Alchemist, with his demon cat? And..." he shuddered, helplessly, "The Pudding Man?"

Edouard winced. "No, sir, never saw him. And thank the saints for that! He killed a man with nothin' but a ball of yarn, he did, and I've no desire to look into the eyes of a man who could do that."

He leaned back and sighed, his keen eyes taking in the dozen figures that had moved close to the bar. "It's a hell of a story, it is," he observes. "But talkin's thirsty work, innit?"

A Rukh-Khazaa, his horn broken off short, pushed a coin across the bar. "Give him another," he rasped. "And the rat, too."

"Obliged," the ratchatcher said cheerily. He considered for a moment, and then nodded to himself.

"It all began at the Temple of Kruetzel...."

 

[pogre]

Excellent! I have a special place in my heart for rat catchers. It's a dark, stinky corner - but a place there nonetheless!

I appreciate the pace at which you have made updates - keep up the great work!

 

[Rackhir]

Staring into his glass, Edoaurd shook his head. "No, just two of them, and that was enough. The Pretty Man, and the Bloody Archer."

"Is it true," asked a voice from the corner of the room, "That he dyes his clothes in the blood of his victims?"

This is base slander. Rackhir is frequently covered in blood yes. But it's his own. I think he's been beaten within an inch of his life in each of the last 3 combats. I'm thinking of changing his name to "Pinyates" since most of the foes in the campaign seem convinced he's full of candy if they can only break him open.

This adventure coming up is our longest night.

It lasted something like 6 sessions or so, saw 3 new characters introduced, two of them leave and due to scheduling problems (Mallus the DM had a big project at work) something on the order of 3-4 months real time.

 

[Mallus]

It lasted something like 6 sessions or so, saw 3 new characters introduced...

Five sessions, starting 06/07/2005 and ending 9/27/2005. Representing a single day in the lives of the Four Crazy Bastards (you should get business cards made, you really should).

FYI, their titles were --yes, I name every adventure, its helps get me in the mood--

The Incredibly Sad Story of Innocent Calliope and Her Heartless Legal Guardian, the Pirate.
Is There Life on Mars?, or Assassin Fancy.
Please Don’t Feed the Chuul, or Footloose and Fancy-Free.
Hello Kitty, or Flight of Fancy.
Attack the Cat-Station, or Le Maison Chatons: part deux.

 

[shilsen]

This is base slander. Rackhir is frequently covered in blood yes. But it's his own. I think he's been beaten within an inch of his life in each of the last 3 combats. I'm thinking of changing his name to "Pinyates" since most of the foes in the campaign seem convinced he's full of candy if they can only break him open.

Heck, he was beaten a few inches past his life in the last session. Much as I enjoy making Rackhir's life miserable IC (and a fair bit OOC), I have to say that I've never seen a PC who gets so beaten up so consistently. And, more precisely, in comparison to the other PCs. There are PCs in my Eberron game who possibly take more punishment on a regular basis, but they spread the wealth, so to speak. Rackhir is by far the principal stockholder in beatings and other related pain in the CITY game.

FYI, their titles were --yes, I name every adventure, its helps get me in the mood--

The Incredibly Sad Story of Innocent Calliope and Her Heartless Legal Guardian, the Pirate.
Is There Life on Mars?, or Assassin Fancy.
Please Don’t Feed the Chuul, or Footloose and Fancy-Free.
Hello Kitty, or Flight of Fancy.
Attack the Cat-Station, or Le Maison Chatons: part deux.

Is the last one where Meiji comes in? Or was that another Maison?

 

[Mallus]

Rackhir is by far the principal stockholder in beatings and other related pain in the CITY game.

I'm working on diversifying the group's pain portfolio. But consider that Rackhir also does the most damage at this point, and usually dispenses with the outmoded concept of "cover". So I don't feel too bad...

Is the last one where Meiji comes in? Or was that another Maison?

Meiji comes in between "Please Don't Feed the Chuul" and "Hello Kitty".