mroberon1972
First Post
The Complete Fool's Catalog [Ancient Awakenings Publications]
Hello, and greetings! Many of you know me as The Fool. Some of you know me as Mr. Oberon. A few of you know me as 'That bloody twit what keeps flapping his lips'. Those in the last group can expect a visit from Guido and Jose, two of the best complaint department thugs we have.
We at Fool's Extradimensional Enterprises (A sub-unit of Ancient Awakenings Publications) wish to bring you the best products that money can buy. To this end, we have compiled the first in a series of catalogs that offers items that will put a sparkle in your eye and a spring in your step!
The first Complete Fool's Catalog includes twelve of our most popular items, such as the Board of Education and Woo Pace's Can! You will soon be able to order the first catalog from RPGNow for only 3,000 maktocs ($1.33 local dimensional currency)!
Our catalogs are easy to use! Just remove the order form and fill out the needed information. Then, just light it on fire (Not responsible for burns caused by misuse), and a crate will appear in order to accept payment. Once payment is introduced and the crate top sealed, your order will arrive within 1 business day (business days determined by Fool's Extradimensional Enterprises, and can vary depending upon holidays, temporal differentials, and whether I like you or not... Deal with it).
Customer satisfaction is our second greatest concern, and to that end, we have set up an 'immediate response' complaint department. Our complaint investigators are made up of some of the best thugs in the multiverse, and arrive within minutes to deal with any issues you might have. We assure you, after you have met with people like Guido and Jose, you will never complain about our products again!
So, step up! Order today! We promise, after you have bought from a Complete Fool's Catalog, you will never buy from another.
This advertisement brought to you by Fool's Extradimensional Enterprises, a sub-unit of Ancient Awakenings Publications. Purchase of said items is not advocated by any sentient being we know of, or are likely to meet before evolution culls them out due to extreme stupidity. All rights reserved, including the ones that allow us to send thugs in the dark of the night to beat the unholy crap out of you if you tick us off by complaining or whining, or just because we don't like you. Remember, we may not be able to get blood out of a turnip, but we CAN sell turnip juice, so don't try and cheat us...
*** WARNING! ***
The following advertisement contains humor.
Humor has been found toxic by politicians, religious fanatics, and gamerbeasts who take their pastimes too seriously.
***
The following advertisement contains humor.
Humor has been found toxic by politicians, religious fanatics, and gamerbeasts who take their pastimes too seriously.
***
Hello, and greetings! Many of you know me as The Fool. Some of you know me as Mr. Oberon. A few of you know me as 'That bloody twit what keeps flapping his lips'. Those in the last group can expect a visit from Guido and Jose, two of the best complaint department thugs we have.
We at Fool's Extradimensional Enterprises (A sub-unit of Ancient Awakenings Publications) wish to bring you the best products that money can buy. To this end, we have compiled the first in a series of catalogs that offers items that will put a sparkle in your eye and a spring in your step!
The first Complete Fool's Catalog includes twelve of our most popular items, such as the Board of Education and Woo Pace's Can! You will soon be able to order the first catalog from RPGNow for only 3,000 maktocs ($1.33 local dimensional currency)!
Our catalogs are easy to use! Just remove the order form and fill out the needed information. Then, just light it on fire (Not responsible for burns caused by misuse), and a crate will appear in order to accept payment. Once payment is introduced and the crate top sealed, your order will arrive within 1 business day (business days determined by Fool's Extradimensional Enterprises, and can vary depending upon holidays, temporal differentials, and whether I like you or not... Deal with it).
Customer satisfaction is our second greatest concern, and to that end, we have set up an 'immediate response' complaint department. Our complaint investigators are made up of some of the best thugs in the multiverse, and arrive within minutes to deal with any issues you might have. We assure you, after you have met with people like Guido and Jose, you will never complain about our products again!
So, step up! Order today! We promise, after you have bought from a Complete Fool's Catalog, you will never buy from another.
This advertisement brought to you by Fool's Extradimensional Enterprises, a sub-unit of Ancient Awakenings Publications. Purchase of said items is not advocated by any sentient being we know of, or are likely to meet before evolution culls them out due to extreme stupidity. All rights reserved, including the ones that allow us to send thugs in the dark of the night to beat the unholy crap out of you if you tick us off by complaining or whining, or just because we don't like you. Remember, we may not be able to get blood out of a turnip, but we CAN sell turnip juice, so don't try and cheat us...
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