The Twilight Squad in the Secrets of Saltmarsh
Session #044 Boomtime for the Kobolds.
The Twilight Squad (in alphabetical order, no egos here).
Grumpy Slagg (played by Kev) Male Dwarf Monk Lvl 1
Halibert Shambles (played by Bear) Male Human Fighter Lvl 1
Porthole Slagg (played by Haggis) Male Dwarf Barbarian Lvl 1
NPCs
Nancy Female Human Cleric of the Sea (Poseidon & Umberlee) Lvl 1
NPC Hireling
Cuthbert Tetley Male Human Goxhill Militiaman (Guard)
This is session 44, and don’t ask me how this happened but sometime towards the end of the last session, well before I’d started moaning to/about the players, well... we decided to play The Twilight Squad.
Just to remind you The Twilight Squad we’re put together by Buggles, the wood elf hired Halibert Shambles, a warehouse worker from Saltmarsh, ostensibly the young lad was to be his squire. At the same time the Dark Squad were working with Grumpy & Porthole Slagg, two (very) surly dwarf miners from Farhill.
See sessions 33b to 37a, Saltmarsh and Back with the Slaggs, for the full story.
So, at some point during these sessions Buggles convinced Halibert, and then Grumpy & Porthole to take up the adventuring life, Halibert even convinced his would-be girlfriend, Nancy to join the gang.
And thus the Twilight Squad were born, and told (by Buggles) to head to Goxhill, a village maybe eight miles from Saltmarsh, and once there… to seek adventure.
Note, Buggles had no idea what exists at Goxhill, he just saw the name on the map.
So, that’s what the newly formed Twilight Squad do.
The eight mile trudge to Goxhill serves as time for introductions, because although the various NPCs turned PCs have met- the pairings (Halibert & Nancy vs Grumpy & Porthole) have never really been introduced to each other.
As it turns out Halibert is a chancer, and voiced by Bear as a squeaky cockney- dogs howl when he pronounces. Nancy (voiced by the DM) has a similar accent, although without the squeak, she tries (every now and then) to sound posher than she is, like a ‘lady’. Grumpy & Porthole are less chatty, their voices quickly settle into some gruff dwarven version of the Kray twins, or at least how you would imagine a pair of east end gangsters to sound.
[Halibert’s voice 20 XP]
Halibert takes charge of the adventurers, when he can, he’s remarkably chirpy and throughout what follows refers endlessly to his experiences with the Dark Squad. At several points during the adventure Halibert wonders aloud- “What would Buggles/Newt do in this situation?” The answer, inevitably, is ‘kill ‘em all!”
Halibert, played by Bear, does funny.
Grumpy is more polite than Porthole, the latter being quite sweary- although very quiet with it. The pair call each other ‘Bruv’, and they constantly refer to their ‘Old Ma’ throughout their various speeches. The Slagg’s mother, it seems, was a sturdy woman with a healthy disregard for morality and ethics.
The Slaggs, played by Jim & Kev, also do funny.
[Meet the PCs 20 XP]
So, to Goxhill- a two bit village with a mine.
“Mine, call that a mine! Old Ma ‘ad a bigger ‘ole than that!” Porthole sneers.
The Twilight Squad visit the Last Barrel, sink a few beers and chat with whoever’s available- they’re looking for something to do, adventuring and the like. There are lots of complaints and moans from the present off-shift miners, mainly stories about new money- investors are coming from one of the big cities to buy out the mine. The miners are fretting, and then happy, and then fretting again- all in short order. Goxhill, like Saltmarsh, is also in flux- things are changing, at least that’s the rumour.
But, the Twilight Squad don’t much care about this, and I’m only mentioning it here because its plot.
They are therefore eventually directed to Larg Neverstay, the head of the Goxhill Watch- actually, he’s the only paid member of the Goxhill Watch. Larg’s an old man, his job these days is to sit atop the Goxhill Watch Tower (an ancient windmill that has lost its sails) and, well… watch.
Larg however has a task for the Twilight Squad, or else he’s heard reports of a bunch of creatures he refers to as little-dragon-man (later identified as Kobolds) whose activity has been noted by farmers hereabouts. He doesn’t know where the creatures are laired, but best guess somewhere to the south west, along a line of bluffs which curves toward the river. The area is dotted with copses and stands of trees, an ideal spot for a lair of the “pesky little buggers!”
After some excellent haggling a price is agreed, for every severed kobold hand returned to Larg he will pay eight silver coins. So, this is a slayers quest, and time to unwind for the players- or else time for a TPK, we’ll see.
That’s as complicated as this one’s going to get.
The Twilight Squad however decide that they want a little back up, and so after a trip to Red’s, the general store- for rations and torches, it’s back to the bar to see if they can hire an extra body. There follows some complex cost calculations, this in order to discern which of the three available hireling options is the cheapest. For hire are- a militiaman (with all his own armour), a hefty miner/brawler (with his own club), and/or a local woodsman/ranger (with lots of her own gear).
Cuthbert Tetley is hired, he’s the militiaman, and by far the most economical of the three.
[Cuthbert is hired 30 XP]
The DM is therefore voicing Cuthbert, I do the best I can to mimic Halibert’s squeaky cockney (but get nowhere close- I have a drill sergeants voice). Cuthbert, having attempted to steal Halibert’s voice, also attempts to impress/steal Halibert’s girlfriend- Nancy, during the course of the adventure.
Therefore, after a night sleeping on the floor of the Last Barrel, the Twilight Squad and Cuthbert, rise and shine early- get breakfast and then head off into the wilds. Although it’s not that wild, the adventurers however spend the entire day chasing their tails. There are a few signs of the small humanoids in the area, but none of the trails they find seem to lead to anywhere significant. Although a much-used trail is found later on in the day, and will be taken up again in the morning.
So, a night out in the wilds- but with no untoward encounters, and then they’re back on the track in the morning.
Success!
The Twilight Squad arrive, still early morning, at what looks to be an old mine shaft in the bluffs Larg directed them to previously. The mine opening is screened by a stand of tall trees. The giveaway however is the fact that there are a number of yapping and chirruping kobolds, very obviously on ‘watch’ in the locale- most of them in the trees.
Kobolds!
Note, Nancy instigated a comprehensive Monster Knowledge style chat about kobolds earlier in the piece, the Twilight Squad know that the little buggers are less at home out in the sunlight. Nancy further insists, once the kobolds are found, that there’s a plan- do they want to stop the guards from re-entering the mine and alerting their comrades?
Yes, is the obvious answer- but how?
Halibert in the end takes charge of the situation.
“Oh. Yer so manly Halibert.” Nancy swoons.
Cuthbert takes notice.
Cuthbert & Porthole will be sent forward to cover/block the mine entrance, while the rest of the Twilight Squad unleash missile-fire heck on the kobolds (poorly) hidden in the trees and bushes in the area.
That’s Halibert’s plan, and it gets the nod- approved.
Oh. But just to say ahead of time, I have given each of the members of the Twilight Squad a little something extra, a secret weapon- if you will, and with express instructions not to tell their comrades-in-arms what special weapon they’ve got.
You’ll see.
So, we get to fighting, and the first kill comes courtesy of the hireling- Cuthbert, the young militiaman races towards the mine entrance- en route he flings one of his spears and skewers a kobold perched in the branches of a tree which extends above the dark opening to the lair.
“Check me out, gel!”
The young militiaman ends his turn by looking buff and flexing in Nancy’s direction.
Porthole follows him in, the dwarf flings out a hand axe en route, and another kobold cops it- and comes tumbling out of the same tree, dead.
Halibert, with his longbow, shoots- Crits, and kills another (after a miss- inspiration point to roll again- he didn’t want to look bad in front of Nancy), while Nancy herself wounds another kobold with her crossbow.
Remarkably Halibert’s plan works- Porthole and Cuthbert are positioned at the entrance to the mine, any kobold wanting to warn its chums within will need to get through this pair.
A kobold situated in the branches of the tree that arches up and over the mine entrance bungees down and Tarzan-like swings into Porthole & Cuthbert. The kobold is armed with a spear- but alas it misses it’s swing-attack, and then on the backswing is cut clean in two by a now raging Porthole.
Grumpy, with his crossbow, shoots another kobold hidden (it thinks) in a nearby bush- dead.
Yet another kobold attempts a bungee spear attack, only it doesn’t go so well- the vine/liana it is tied to snaps rather than springs, and leaves the small humanoid badly wounded and sprawled before Cuthbert & Porthole.
Sling bullets clatter into the clearing before the mine entrance, Porthole takes one to the head.
“Don’t ‘urt.” He mutters, and punches the spot the rock landed- seconds later he and Cuthbert slice the sprawled kobold before them dead.
There are only three kobolds left in the fight, two in the trees- both, moments later, are sniped to death by Halibert and Grumpy, respectively. While the last enemy attempts to flee the scene- but that doesn’t happen, a raging Porthole lights out after the terrified kobold and soon after buries a hand axe in its back.
Porthole doesn’t stop chopping until the ‘yellow’ kobold is paste.
[Kobold guards taken care of 200 XP]
A few minutes later, after the dead kobolds have been searched (a few coppers and silvers each) and then butchered for their hands, the Twilight Squad creep- as best they can, into the mine.
Porthole and Grumpy (with darkvision) sneak a little ahead, there are a number of kobolds scrabbling on the floor beyond a T-junction, they look to be gambling- although there’s also a lot of squabbling going on. None of the kobold guards here are paying any attention, confident that the watchers outside of the lair will raise the alarm.
Ignore the dead Kobold bottom right- no idea how he got there.
The two dwarves close in but alas Porthole finds a pit trap the hard way, although the nasty dwarf reacts with lightning speed (and a ‘20’) and dives over the pit before it yawns.
Note, Porthole has had a light spell cast on his battleaxe (by Nancy) although the weapon is covered until he leaps into the attack.
Cuthbert, the militiaman, comes rushing over to help- he leaps the now open pit, and spears a surprised kobold dead.
Grumpy caves in the head of the nearest kobold to him with his staff, and then chops another in the throat- the creature is left sprawled on the floor and choking for breath (and on 1 HP).
Halibert also leaps the pit and then charges in longsword drawn- and yet another kobold dies, Porthole- with his battleaxe, accounts for yet another. There are only two of the screeching terrified humanoids left alive.
The sprawled heavily wounded kobold is bathed in watery-blue (sacred) flames by Nancy- it expires with a hiss. While the last gets its head caved in by Grumpy.
The fight’s over.
Only, “Rats!” Cuthbert shouts, and sure enough- scurrying down the western passage towards the junction are a trio of giant snuffling and snarling giant rats, drawn to the sound of the pit trap, perhaps.
RATS! And that far one is a big 'un!
Halibert and Porthole both leap over the pit and charge to meet them- cutting the first two of the vermin down. The passage ahead opens into a low ceilinged and very stinky cavern, in the middle of which is a morass of filth and excrement, and worse.
There are more giant rats in the low cavern, and the walls of the place are riddled with rat holes, this is obviously their lair.
Nancy burns a giant rat dead with her sacred flames, while Grumpy takes another out with his crossbow.
But the vermin keep spewing out of their burrows, rushing towards the Twilight Squad- Halibert and Porthole keep them at bay, and cut another pair of giant rats down.
The PCs keep attacking, and mostly they keep on hitting- but some of the giant rats have enough hit points to survive a stab or a slice, and they keep on coming- soon after there are more giant rats than adventurers in the low-ceilinged stinky cavern.
Porthole gets bitten- twice, the dwarf is left critically wounded, he has to use an inspiration point to trigger a healing surge (his healing HD, allowed by the kindly DM in low level play).
Halibert cuts another giant rat down with his longsword, Porthole repeats the trick with his battleaxe.
Cuthbert Tetley is beginning to panic, he’s not landed a hit yet, he’s even stopped calling for Nancy to admire his work.
Nancy’s sacred flame burns another giant rat dead- a smoking corpse, while Grumpy splats another with his staff, but then moments later gets bitten for his troubles.
Porthole ends yet another, but still the giant rats come, several more of them emerging from holes behind the Twilight Squad.
"I'll save yers Nancy, darlin", Halibert & Cuthbert call out in chorus.
Nancy calls for help- Halibert (& Cuthbert) are trying their best to assist her, but Cuthbert still hasn’t managed to land a hit.
Porthole smashes a giant rat down, it’s the only hit (rats and adventurers) in an entire turn’s worth of action- that’s ten to hit rolls.
Cuthbert gets savaged by a giant rat, and the militiaman is left screaming.
“’Elp me ‘alibert! ‘Elp me! Please!”
“Ger’a grip on yerself Cuthbert!” Halibert shouts back.
While Porthole growls- “Grow some balls, lad!”
Although seconds later Porthole is bitten again, the dwarf doesn’t back down but does some grumbling of his own.
But Cuthbert’s nerves are shattered, he flees the fight, and triggers three opportunity attacks- he doesn’t get far. The Goxhill militiaman gets bitten twice more, and is left sprawled in the mirk- and dying (one failed Death Save will be enough to kill Cuthbert).
Nancy smashes a rat dead with her mace, the vermin are in too close for her to use her spells.
Halibert manoeuvres to stand over the fallen body of Cuthbert, but the fighter is swinging and missing repeatedly, he spends his second inspiration point to try and fail to hit again.
Things are getting desperate.
Halibert straddles Cuthbert's fallen body, he's the hero of the hour, he keeps the Giant Rats at bay. "Oh Halibert, yer soooo very brave!" Nancy cries and then incinerates yet another of the vermin with her Sacred Flames- "Gertcha! Yer filthy bar-steward!" Note the arrival of the big Rat leader.
At which point a much larger giant rat- the brood mare, emerges from her lair and scurries into the fight- this creature has a glistening silver chain wrapped around its abdomen. Alas the beast doesn’t last long- Grumpy thumps it hard with his staff, and moments later Porthole lodges his battleaxe into the great vermin’s brain.
Dead!
The remaining giant rats, on hearing the brood mare’s dying screech, attempt to flee the fight, Grumpy splats another dead, but the rest of the vermin scurry back into their holes.
At which point Cuthbert opens his eyes (after a ‘20’ Death Save).
“Are dey all gone?” He asks.
Followed by, “Can I go ‘ome now?”
Nancy helps out with a little healing as the Twilight Squad get themselves back into fighting shape, and after removing a silver and gem necklace (wrapped tight around the brood mare’s bulbous body) they head back to the dead kobolds and the pit trap.
There are noises echoing down the passages of the old mine, but no sign of any more kobolds.
The Twilight Squad take a minute to search the kobolds here, and then remove their hands- it’s grisly stuff.
“Get the bag, Bruv.” Porthole states.
“Wha’, the ‘andbag?” Grumpy sniggers.
“Good one, Bruv.” Porthole rejoinders.
The gambling kobolds have a little more copper and silver, but not a lot, but keep in mind that three of the four PCs started the adventure with less than 2gp in their pockets.
[Kobold guards and giant rats- lots of them 650 XP]
Grumpy & Porthole lead the way, stealthily forward- there’s another passage to the north, otherwise it’s on to the east- and there’s the flickering flame of a camp fire, and much yapping, shouting and howling coming from this direction.
The two sneaky dwarves discover the large cavern home of the kobold tribe, and there are lots of kobolds in here.
All of the Kobolds.
DM Interlude- there are forty kobolds in the tribal cavern- although a majority of them (23) are 10 XP non-combatants.
Halibert attempts to sneak forward to join the stealthy dwarves- but that doesn’t work, although only the closest kobold spots the creeping fighter, the small humanoid starts shouting and pointing.
But then, the world ends- at least for a lot of the kobolds.
Grumpy grabs out a black powder horn and flings it into the camp fire in the tribal cavern.
BOOM!
Twenty kobolds are caught in the flaming burst- fourteen of the small humanoids are scorched, blasted, burnt and generally incinerated in the following brief, but very vigorous, conflagration.
“Bluddy ‘eck!” Halibert screeches.
Nancy rushes forward and blasts another screaming kobold dead with her sacred flames.
But respite for the tribe is in short supply.
A grinning Porthole fishes out a small round fist-sized black metal ball, the object has a short length of what looks to be rope poking from a hole in the top of it, a second later a tinderbox sparks, and then the fuse hisses.
“Gertcha!” The surly dwarf grunts and throws the object into the densest clutch of screaming and panicked kobolds.
“Fire in the hole!” Porthole yells, and then sticks his fingers in his ears and crouches- turning away from the chamber ahead. Grumpy mirrors his brother’s actions- while the remainder of the Twilight Squad watch and learn.
BOOOOOM!
A dozen kobolds are caught in the blast, absolutely none of them survive the ordeal- the cavern itself is also transformed, one side of it collapses.
Kobolds post Boomtime.
The remaining deafened and terrified kobolds mostly scramble to get as far away as they can from the Twilight Squad, although a few of the small fools attempt to fight their way out of the chamber.
Grumpy smashes a kobold down, but gets stabbed for his endeavour.
Halibert decapitates another with his longsword- although the fighter also takes a hit, this time from a sling stone.
Several more of the kobolds rally, the fight to escape the cavern turns into a rumble- Porthole gets stabbed too.
He’s seen enough, the crazy dwarf throws a second bomb into the chamber- the five or so kobolds engaged in the fightback are liberally distributed around the cavern.
Or else bits of them are.
The remaining enemies swiftly surrender, and are ordered- soon after by Halibert (translated by Nancy, she speaks Draconic), to cut of one of their own hands, at which point they will be allowed to exit the lair.
In the meantime Cuthbert, who is still terrified and out of sorts, is sent back to the passage north and told to watch the way. In double quick time the now one-handed kobolds, after also being disarmed and searched for money, are escorted quickly out of the lair and into the light- there are less than ten of them left, eight of them non-combatants.
Halibert gets his second wind, while Grumpy snaffles his healing potion (they have one each, paid for by the Dark Squad) and then spends his last inspiration point to trigger his healing surge.
Note, a vast majority of the exploded kobolds are sans hands, and the adventurers don’t have the time or inclination to search through the filth and viscera here.
[Clearing out the kobold tribe 655 XP]
The Twilight Squad hustle quickly up the northern passage, there’s no chance the kobold’s here have not heard the explosions, and sure enough there are a trio of armoured (chainmail-wearing) kobolds armed with bows waiting for them.
Nancy uses the last of her magic to bless Halibert and the Slaggs.
But the Twilight Squad close in fast- there’s a brief exchange of missile fire, but these three kobolds are tough.
The Tough Kobolds- Boomtime is coming!
Halibert shoots one, but then gets shot right back.
Porthole goes the direct route, he lobs his third bomb into the much smaller guard chamber.
BOOM!
And that’s all she wrote, all three of the tough kobold defenders are blasted to pieces in an instant.
The Twilight Squad creep forward, and when the smoke clears- over the far side of the cavern is a broken door (destroyed in the last blast), which in itself is odd- someone very important must live in there, and so it proves.
The kobold chief, a huge (over four feet tall) snarling scarred kobold in heavy armour and wielding a battleaxe in two hands- swatting and slicing wildly, comes charging into the fight. The furious foe is accompanied by his hareem, five scantily clad females kobolds armed with a variety of blades.
Halibert screams and points at the onrushing kobold chief.
“This one’s mine, I’ll take the little bastard! Watch this Nancy, gel!”
WHOOSH!
Suddenly a ghost-like massively horned Ram appears before Halibert- the sturdy creature is mid-charge. it blasts forward- smashing into the approaching chief. The heavily armoured kobold chief is flung back and up, and slammed into the far wall of the chamber.
Halibert has a ring of the Ram, and he just used all three charges (6d10 force damage) to smash most of the life out of the kobold chief, the small now mostly broken humanoid goes from full- 32 HP, to just 2 HP in the blink of an eye.
The Kobold Chief needs healing fast.
Grumpy meantime slams one of the hareem dead with his staff, seconds later another of the screeching females gets to Halibert and stabs the fighter with a Crit, and now he’s heavily wounded.
Moments later and Cuthbert is stabbed too, and the militiaman is back to retreating.
“I’ll watch the rear, ‘alibert?”
Nancy accounts for another of the ferocious hareem with yet more of her sacred flames.
Porthole rages, and cuts another of the hareem down, while the kobold chief levers himself to his feet and then rushes back through the broken doorway and into the chamber beyond, and out of sight.
Halibert cuts yet another member of the kobold hareem down, then Grumpy follows suit, that’s the last- there’s just the chief left.
Porthole rushes on and into the chief’s chamber- a junk store full of tat and dirt, the kobold chief is over the far side of the cavern, and has just finished swigging down a potion flask- healing, no doubt. The kobold is reaching for another.
Porthole flings a hand axe into the chief’s back, but it’s not enough- the kobold chief growls and grabs for the last healing flask.
Halibert rushes past the dwarf at the door, screaming- “ger’a load of this ya little bar-steward”, and finishes the job, burying his longsword in (and all the way through) the chief’s back.
Dead.
The fighting is done, the kobold’s are dead and their lair cleared, and the session is almost over.
More treasure is found in the chief’s lair- including a slew of gold coins, by which I mean just over fifty. Also, the chief has a beautiful black ruby set on a silver chain, later the Dark Squad discover this is an expensive piece of jewellery. They eventually sell it to the mine owner, back in Goxhill, for 900 gold coins.
[Kobold chief, toughs and the hareem 475 XP]
The chief’s last unused healing potion is taken by Grumpy, who used the one he had earlier, and then the time is taken for a thorough search- and another chest and more coin found. Then the collecting of more kobold hands- they have 65 of these in total.
After an hour or two to rest the Twilight Squad head back to Goxhill, they get to the village in last light of day, and head straight to the bar to share their tale of adventure with the folk to be found there.
The Twilight Squad get the drinks in.
Three cheers for the Twilight Squad!
That was a great release, down and dirty and just a hoot to play- and with bombs, and black powder, and Halibert’s ring of the Ram.
Note, Nancy has a secret weapon but she didn’t need to use it, so we’ll keep her secret safe for a little while longer.
Note, there’s no plans to play the Twilight Squad again any time in the future, however I’ll stat up another adventure for the guys (soon after) and should the opportunity arise, for whatever reason (we’ve had a chat about this) then they’ll no doubt make another appearance.
Oh. The PCs required 400 XP to get to level 2, they totalled 411 XP each for this adventure, so- they’re all level 2 now.
Next session however- it’s the Dark Squad all the way, and party time in Saltmarsh.
Stay safe and well you lovely people.
Cheers the Dark Squad and goonalan.
