The Elven -- song parody

[orbitalfreak]

Sung to the tune of "The Freshmen" by The Verve Pipe

Elves, forever young, we know everything
And you're an orc who never heeded our advice
We're guilt stricken, sobbings, with it's head on the floor
You caused a grizzly's death then skinned it with a knife

You will be held responsible
We'll soon be torching your face
You will be held responsible
We'll beat you then with a big mace

For the life of me, why can't you remember
That we elves are always wise and
We never compromise
For the life of me why can't you believe
You're gonna die for your sins
We are haugty elven

The forest had a week of autumn till the winter
This bear had a week till winter when it slept
Now we're guilt stricken sobbing with its head on the floor
Think about it now and how you never would have wept we say

You have been held responsible
Started by torching your face
You have been held responsible
We beat you then with a big mace

For the life of me, why can't you remember
That we elves are always wise and
We never compromise
For the life of me why can't you believe
They're gonna die for their sins
We are haugty elven

We need not wash your hands of all of this
Another dumb orc we're sure we'll never miss
We're not guilt stricken, sobbing, with your head on our floor
We'll dance in the trees when we've finished this, we'll say

You have been held responsible
Started by torching your face
You have been held responsible
We beat you then with a big mace

For the life of me, why can't they remember
That we elves are always wise and
We never compromise
For the life of me why can't they believe
They're gonna die for their sins
We are haugty elven

 

[Torm]

My Theme Song!

Coolness!

Well, I was going to save the following for sometime when I could actually record it and really worry the crap outta some people. But since I have no idea when I'll actually get around to that, and you're into parodies, here goes:

Torm (a parody of "Torn", with apologies to Natalie Imbruglia)

So I was a Paladin in Life
Devoted all
My life to Tyr and I got deified
I would never cheat or steal or lie
And now its Paladins that I award
Remove Disease
Lay On Hands, They don't get sick no more
That's what Divine Health is for
Malar's such a beastly guy,
Cyric's always full of lies
That won't last for long
They'll be facing Torm

Duty, honor, faith
Always on my side
I'm bold and unafraid
Marching through a tyrant's door
Illusions are a way
Evil tries to hide
When they're fake
Well I can see
With Detect Evil - so
They'll soon meet their fate
They've crossed paths with Torm

You gotta do just what you know is right
You want to turn all those undead
And use your holy Smite
Fight the priests of Bane
I know, Beauty Sune,
Tymora's luck
I don't miss them all that much
There's aspects of them
That I can't touch. I'm Torm.

A Phylactery of Faith
Tells you how I feel
Its useful if you've gamed
As a Paladin of Torm
Armor made of chain
Blades made of strong steel
That never break
Magic Weapons
+1 Swords of Torm
We'll eliminate
Enemies of Torm
Torm

Avatars, a purple sky
Bane and Torm did fight and die
As townsfolk looked on
They supersized my Torm

Galloping gait
Barding made of steel
And now my lance is aimed
At the challenger before
Jousting at the games
Or sometimes its for real
There's a time
When you can see
The Pokemounts of Torm

A Phylactery of Faith
Tells you how I feel
You'll get one if your DM's
Had it in for you before
Mighty and they're great
Paladins of Torm
Torm

-fin-

Now, show them my motto:

 

[sellars]

Whehehehehe, cool guys, keep 'em comming!