Well for me, personally, I am setting up some house rules for my homebrew based on how it seems that newer versions of the game are moving towards powergaming instead of roleplaying. It's hard for me to understand why someone would want to powergame in a PnP setting instead of just playing an MMORPG. The rewards are much more tangible in a video game, where quests are specifically set up with powergaming in mind.
So my house rules are a bit severe, but they're mainly to limit the number crunching, and focus more on roleplaying the character, and investigating the world and current quest. A couple to merge the character creation with my homebrew world: no monks, but adding another class or two (if I can balance them enough).
RPG = roleplaying game, which to me means rules and numbers are second priority to roleplay and world exploration. I wouldn't call RPGs wargames; I would probably refer to wargames as real-time strategy games, which really have nothing to do with roleplaying. Warcraft comes to mind. That's a wargame. Axis and Allies is obviously another wargame. I wouldn't call Morrowind a wargame, or any of the roleplay Neverwinter Nights servers, wargames. (well maybe a couple on the latter)
I never talked much to other DnDers when I was playing way back in the day of, I think, ver 2, but I never felt like DnD was a powergamer thing or a wargame. We always played it as more of an exploration thing. Find the traps, figure out the puzzles, kill the bad guy, save the day. Sure we did a little min/maxing, but we NEVER had paladins, that I'm aware of. Nobody could roll the proper stats to make one. But that's what made them so cool, cause they were rare.
Anyway, I digress.