I haven't written an essay in quite some time, eh? I know, how can you miss me when I don't go away! That said, I still haven't recovered from the loss of the essay I had been working on (about Tolkien and D&D) and haven't felt the need to start any other topic ... and feel blocked when it comes to Tolkien. Every time I sit down and start writing, I think that it just isn't as good as what I wrote before. Ugh. Anyway, I thought to myself, "Self, perhaps what you need is a refreshing palate cleanser. The written equivalent of a nice sorbet. Maybe ... you could post a ranking of one of the directors!"
To quote the Kool-Aid Man, OH YEAH! I've done a lot of rankings before. And I love ranking film directors. Lynch. Tarantino. The Andersons (not Mr. Anderson, but Paul Tomas and Wes). Cronenberg. Nolan (pre-Oppenheimer). The KING OF THE WORLD. The Coen Brothers.
One of these days, it will be Kubrick. But all Kubrick and no play makes Snarf a dull boy, so instead ... you're getting the Finch! That's right, David "I'm an auteur, not some technician of music videos" Fincher. And if you think about it, Fincher is kind of like Kubrick, Jr.
...think about it. You'll get there.
Anyway, I love David Fincher. As I always says, there are a handful of directors that, when I see that they have a film coming out, I know I'm going to watch it. None of the films he has made are, in my opinion, bad. Or even mediocre. They vary from good to great to all-time amazing, and I would argue that from his second film on he has been on an enviable heater.
With every ranking, I must have rules, but this essay is using the Finch Club Rules.
The first rule of Finch Club is that you only rank the movies that Fincher directed. Not his TV shows. Not his music videos.
The second rule of Finch Club is that YOU ONLY RANK THE MOVIES THAT FINCHER DIRECTED.
Good? Good! That means that there are twelve movies to rank. As always, the following ranking is verified as true and correct by Colosson, the Numberwang Robot, and you are welcome to provide your own incorrect rankings and comments below.
TIER 4- The Lesser Finch Movies
12. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
No. Just no. I don't even think I need to explain this.
11. Alien 3
This is a movie that Finch has disowned, and the studio meddling destroyed it. ...and yet. Look, I'm not going to die on the hill of, "You're all wrong, this is the best Alien movie and bestest Finch movie ever!!!!" That's a no (the original Alien, duh) and a hell no (see the next ten) but ... despite all the problems, I genuinely enjoy it. It could've and should've been better. But it's still good. Fight me (yes, in a Fincher thread, "fight me" is a theme).
TIER 3- The Cromulent Finch Movies
10. The Game
It's a well-acted, well-shot movie, with one two many Shyamalans at the end. It's fun, and good, but definitely the least of the solid Finch movies.
9. The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo
There's a lot to love here. It's beautiful, haunting, and austere. Then ... why so low? Because it is incomplete. Finch planned to continue the series, and it's just really hard to watch it as a standalone knowing that. To quote another masterpiece of cinema, Dude, Where's My Car, you should never leave a cinema saying, "And then?"
8. Panic Room
An excellent genre exercise. If anything, it is almost too-perfect of a genre fit. It is tense and a good watch, but at times it feels that Fincher's style is a mismatch to the subject matter. A great movie for most directors, but just fine for Finch.
TIER 2- The Great Movies That Are Merely Good Finch
7. The Killer
The whole movie is good, but the opening twenty minutes is astounding. It's a powerful movie, but it doesn't quite make the list of classic movies because while it does explore its themes well, and it has amazing genre trappings throughout, it just doesn't feel as weighty as the next six. In short, the opening wrote a check that the remainder of the film didn't cash.
6. Mank
This is the boundary line for me; I would argue that this is a stone-cold classic movie, but I am placing it just outside the next five. Why? Well, as much as I love this movie (and I love it!) I wouldn't place it ahead of the next five ... well, maybe ... MAYBE Gone Girl. But I fully recognize that while anyone can appreciate the performance of Gary Oldman and the (black & white) cinematography, if you don't love cinema and know Citizen Kane, this may not be the film for you. This is one of those films that falls into "You either love it, or you turned it off 20 minutes into it," and there is no in-between.
TIER 1- Stone Cold Classic Movies that Finch Bestowed Upon Us- Any of these would be most directors' best movie
5. Gone Girl
Has Ben Affleck ever been more perfectly cast? The answer is ... yes. As the spokesman for Dunkin' Donuts. But other than that? NO.
4. Seven
WHAT'S IN THE BOX???? Look, I am not going to say that "dreary serial killer misery p***" is a good thing. But this movie spawned a million copycats and largely invented a genre and a cinematic vocabulary.
3. Zodiac
Do you like process films? Well, this is the ultimate process film. A film about how obsession, even the most noble one, can consume you and warp your reality. It's one of the few films that takes what should be an unfilmable concept and makes you understand it.
1b. Fight Club
I am not interested in a debate over what this film means; unfortunately, some people just don't understand what a film is about. Wait, Homelander is the bad guy? Gordon Gekko isn't the hero? Starship Troopers is a satire? Etc. If you haven't seen this film in a while and just associate it with the "puzzlebox" at its heart, I would say that it is incredibly prescient and speaks strongly to contemporary issues.
1a. The Social Network
What happens when you combine the best material Aaron Sorkin ever wrote with Finch at the the height of his game with perfect casting with the best score Trent Reznor has made? The Social Network, that's what. Hear me now and believe me later- this movie was made about the founding of Facebook in 2010, and it can still tell you a lot about Meta in 2025.
To quote the Kool-Aid Man, OH YEAH! I've done a lot of rankings before. And I love ranking film directors. Lynch. Tarantino. The Andersons (not Mr. Anderson, but Paul Tomas and Wes). Cronenberg. Nolan (pre-Oppenheimer). The KING OF THE WORLD. The Coen Brothers.
One of these days, it will be Kubrick. But all Kubrick and no play makes Snarf a dull boy, so instead ... you're getting the Finch! That's right, David "I'm an auteur, not some technician of music videos" Fincher. And if you think about it, Fincher is kind of like Kubrick, Jr.
...think about it. You'll get there.
Anyway, I love David Fincher. As I always says, there are a handful of directors that, when I see that they have a film coming out, I know I'm going to watch it. None of the films he has made are, in my opinion, bad. Or even mediocre. They vary from good to great to all-time amazing, and I would argue that from his second film on he has been on an enviable heater.
With every ranking, I must have rules, but this essay is using the Finch Club Rules.
The first rule of Finch Club is that you only rank the movies that Fincher directed. Not his TV shows. Not his music videos.
The second rule of Finch Club is that YOU ONLY RANK THE MOVIES THAT FINCHER DIRECTED.
Good? Good! That means that there are twelve movies to rank. As always, the following ranking is verified as true and correct by Colosson, the Numberwang Robot, and you are welcome to provide your own incorrect rankings and comments below.
TIER 4- The Lesser Finch Movies
12. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
No. Just no. I don't even think I need to explain this.
11. Alien 3
This is a movie that Finch has disowned, and the studio meddling destroyed it. ...and yet. Look, I'm not going to die on the hill of, "You're all wrong, this is the best Alien movie and bestest Finch movie ever!!!!" That's a no (the original Alien, duh) and a hell no (see the next ten) but ... despite all the problems, I genuinely enjoy it. It could've and should've been better. But it's still good. Fight me (yes, in a Fincher thread, "fight me" is a theme).
TIER 3- The Cromulent Finch Movies
10. The Game
It's a well-acted, well-shot movie, with one two many Shyamalans at the end. It's fun, and good, but definitely the least of the solid Finch movies.
9. The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo
There's a lot to love here. It's beautiful, haunting, and austere. Then ... why so low? Because it is incomplete. Finch planned to continue the series, and it's just really hard to watch it as a standalone knowing that. To quote another masterpiece of cinema, Dude, Where's My Car, you should never leave a cinema saying, "And then?"
8. Panic Room
An excellent genre exercise. If anything, it is almost too-perfect of a genre fit. It is tense and a good watch, but at times it feels that Fincher's style is a mismatch to the subject matter. A great movie for most directors, but just fine for Finch.
TIER 2- The Great Movies That Are Merely Good Finch
7. The Killer
The whole movie is good, but the opening twenty minutes is astounding. It's a powerful movie, but it doesn't quite make the list of classic movies because while it does explore its themes well, and it has amazing genre trappings throughout, it just doesn't feel as weighty as the next six. In short, the opening wrote a check that the remainder of the film didn't cash.
6. Mank
This is the boundary line for me; I would argue that this is a stone-cold classic movie, but I am placing it just outside the next five. Why? Well, as much as I love this movie (and I love it!) I wouldn't place it ahead of the next five ... well, maybe ... MAYBE Gone Girl. But I fully recognize that while anyone can appreciate the performance of Gary Oldman and the (black & white) cinematography, if you don't love cinema and know Citizen Kane, this may not be the film for you. This is one of those films that falls into "You either love it, or you turned it off 20 minutes into it," and there is no in-between.
TIER 1- Stone Cold Classic Movies that Finch Bestowed Upon Us- Any of these would be most directors' best movie
5. Gone Girl
Has Ben Affleck ever been more perfectly cast? The answer is ... yes. As the spokesman for Dunkin' Donuts. But other than that? NO.
4. Seven
WHAT'S IN THE BOX???? Look, I am not going to say that "dreary serial killer misery p***" is a good thing. But this movie spawned a million copycats and largely invented a genre and a cinematic vocabulary.
3. Zodiac
Do you like process films? Well, this is the ultimate process film. A film about how obsession, even the most noble one, can consume you and warp your reality. It's one of the few films that takes what should be an unfilmable concept and makes you understand it.
1b. Fight Club
I am not interested in a debate over what this film means; unfortunately, some people just don't understand what a film is about. Wait, Homelander is the bad guy? Gordon Gekko isn't the hero? Starship Troopers is a satire? Etc. If you haven't seen this film in a while and just associate it with the "puzzlebox" at its heart, I would say that it is incredibly prescient and speaks strongly to contemporary issues.
1a. The Social Network
What happens when you combine the best material Aaron Sorkin ever wrote with Finch at the the height of his game with perfect casting with the best score Trent Reznor has made? The Social Network, that's what. Hear me now and believe me later- this movie was made about the founding of Facebook in 2010, and it can still tell you a lot about Meta in 2025.
Last edited:
