The Font of Useless Knowledge

[Doug Sundseth]

There are Aleph-1 items of useless knowledge:

Aleph-1 items of useless knowledge from the font,
Aleph-1 items of useless knowledge,
Find Aleph-0 uses
For items from the font
Aleph-1 items of useless knowledge from the font.

ps. I think the scansion of the above could use some work.

pps. Contrary to an earlier comment, Wingdings is a font of no knowledge whatsoever. The font of useless knowledge is Comic Sans.

 

[Nifft]

• Mountain Orcs are allergic to pigeon. This is why they avoid cities.
• The eye beams of a Beholder are powerless against oranges. Sadly, no-one has yet been able to weaponize an orange.
• Elves like to dance naked under the moonlight, but it's not because they're fruity: it's to check each other for lycanthropy. Elves hate the idea of turning all hairy, so they guard against it furvently.
• Fire Giants have naturally curly hair, which they straighten by chemical and physical means (and by not bathing often). They consider straight hair to be a sign of culture and social status.
• Wyverns are related to Pseudodragons, and some posses an innate telepathy. However, they are terribly stupid, and the telepathic ones usually die of starvation as a result of telepathically broadcasting "ooo, food, I'm gonna eat you now food, pounce!" the round before they actually pounce.
• Bardic Lore will not reveal the thing about Beholders, because it is difficult to lyricize.

Cheers, -- N

 

[Rykion]

-A broken clock is right twice a day.
-Most vampires don't own a sundial.
-Blood stains don't show up on a red cloak. As long as the blood itself is red.
-A flying horse is called a Pegasus, so a flying elephant must be a Dumbo.
-The leading cause of monster death in a dungeon is forgetting where the traps are.
-Arryk the mad lines his pit traps with pillows.
-Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

 

[Nifft]

'Drow' rhymes with 'row.'

(That may start an argument!)

Why would that fact start a row?

Cheers, -- N

 

[Simm]

Bree-Yark is goblin for "I surrender"

 

[Fifth Element]

Bree-Yark is goblin for "I surrender"

I seem to recall that being very useful, once upon a time.

 

[Remathilis]

The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessart and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants had to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

Richard Lederer for the win!

 

[awayfarer]

Number ninety-seventy-one: All statements dispensed by the font of useless information are wrong, including this one.

 

[Bayushi Seikuro]

Actually, this gave me a kind of interesting idea.

What if there was a Font of Common Knowledge? That'd be kind of interesting. Especially if it adapted to each region you went to. You could call it Basil Exposition.

 

[Thurbane]

Wow - great contributions! Keep 'em coming.

I'll format this into a nice table when I'm on my home PC...