The Font of Useless Knowledge

[Thurbane]

Hi again,

I’m creating a (joke) magic item for my campaign called The Font of Useless Knowledge.

I’m going to create a table of random facts that the Font dispenses when consulted (probably a d100 table). I would like the facts to be largely useless, but true. Things like:

01: “Eight out of ten Owlbears prefer Halfling meat to Gnome”

02: “A morningstar can double as a convenient backscratcher”

I’m hoping people can add some nuggets of useless ingame information for the Font.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

3. Dragons never suffer tooth decay.

 

[Deekin]

04. Dodongos dislike smoke.

 

[PhoenixDarkDirk]

5. "Ducks are terrible jugglers."
6. "Swords are rarely used for shaving."

 

[theredrobedwizard]

7. Mimics are unable to mimic the form of a comfy chair.
8. The life expectancy of a goblin, once spotted by adventurers, is 24 seconds at best.
9. Pirates have wooden legs to swim better.

-TRRW

 

[Moggthegob]

10. Digesters with acid reflux is highly unpredictable
11. Koblds make bad babysitters
12. 8 out of 10 dragons agree, sumer is better than winter( sorry silver and white)

 

[Ferrum]

13. There are 37 ways to kill an orc with an apple.
14. Androsphinxes have terribly matted beards
15. There are currently 44 women in the world named Zinna.

 

[Keefe the Thief]

16. 18% of all Mages are actually addicted to bat guano.
17. Darkvision is a gift from the old gods - they can see everything you can see with it.
18. When the Sun dies at last there will be eyes watching it with glee.

 

[Kmart Kommando]

19. Humans are descended from apes. Elves are descended from apes with pointy ears and pastel fur.

 

[Alisair Longreach]

20. Beware, housecats are more dangerous than you expect.