The never ending story of ...

[BoldItalic]

the most curious object emerged from them... which Snappy dropped on the deck with a grin.

As it rolled around on the deck with the motion of the ship, it looked at first like a small barrel, reminsicent of one of the barrels of gold that they had so recently disposed of. But it wasn't.

Whereas a barrel would have the staves running lengthways from end to end, this had them running circumferentially. At a word from Snappy, they started to slide over each other with a slippery noise, allowing it to open like a telescope. It gradually lengthened into something roughly like a canoe or a rowing boat but with the planks going the wrong way and it looked to Nord about as water-tight as a straw hat. But it wasn't a boat.

A hatch sprang open along the top, giving a glimpse of an interior fitted with rows of cunningly unfolded wooden seats. It was big enough for about a dozen people to sit in, all facing 'forwards' so it began to look as if was a carriage of some kind. Jeli thought it might need some cushions.

Then the 'hatch' itself unfolded upwards. If this had been a rowing boat it might have been trying to be a mast with wooden sails but this wasn't a rowing boat and this wasn't a mast. For one thing, there were two of them side by side and what might have been 'sails' were more like paddles. Except paddles would be down where they could work in the water and these were up in the air, more like ... wings? Was this a legless wooden dragon? If so, where was its head?

The wings (?) began to whirr alarmingly and spin round very fast until they were just a blur, like the wings of a bee except they weren't exacly wings and this wasn't a bee. It didn't have black and yellow stripes, for one thing. It did have stripes but they were blue and white and went in odd directions that made your eyes hurt if you looked at them too long.

And it emitted a smell. Hard to describe, it was a bit like face cream (if you know what that smells like) and a bit like drains (we all know what that smells like) but most of all it smelled like smile of an elephant (and nobody knows what that smells like).

"Er .. well done Snappy," said Herewulf cautiously, "But ... what is it?"

Snappy explained. "I found it in a workshop in Florence, run by a man called Verrocchio. He didn't seem to need it any more. There were some drawings of it done by one of his pupils, Leonardo da something-or-other. Did you need the drawings? I could go back and get them?"

"No, don't bother. They're probably not worth anything anyway."

"So, as far as I can work out," continued Snappy, "what it does is ..."

 

[rgoodbb]

"what it does is ..."

"Silenzio!" A seemingly anonymous sailor barked in Primordial-Italian or was it Italo-Primordial?

Snappy translated "He said be quiet."

The incognito human moved slowly from within the crowd to the centre of the ship with a calm but authoritarian gait that suggested, no, demanded absolute respect.

"Tutti stanno fermi!"....."Everyone stay still." relayed Snappy.

"Ciao."

...."Hello…

"...Yes we got that one Snappy. Uhm do you mind addressing us in the Common tongue?" asked Jeli.

The Inspector looked unsure of himself but decided to accept the request. With a short sigh, he attempted the Common tongue.

"Very great. I Inspector your Importants. And what means this is, we have in front of you there is both here a hush of the state, yes? It cannot be mentioned as voices from your mouths. Both lips with no space in between. You understand? No space in between. It cannot be remembered from the minds of your full heads. Indeed. You must all forget that you ever laid each of your two eyeballs upon its gaze. It must evacuate from your brain and disperse with extravagant force. OK.”

“Um…….Ok, Snappy?” Jeli was regretting asking the inspector to try out his Common.

“Wha, oh Yes. Inspector Generale. Sì. Sì.” Snappy nodded enthusiastically. (Which was a quite dangerous manoeuvre for a croc to perform if you think about it).

“You will be coerced to the wood with ginger and secured with all hesitancy while the wig-men in reserve, remark things and arrive at a choice of significance. Without whole coins and with a forfeiture of expression, you will then accept forthright reducing on nearest wood before nodding your pleasure pending dynamic separation of this residence. OK.”

“What the f…….None of my lads is taking a…a…reducing.”

“Then please accept that nothing can rescue the hog.”

“Rescue th…….He’s mad. Mad.”

“Rescue the hog…hang on….Save your bacon. If you do not accept taxation for this, then nothing will save your bacon.”

“Well done Snappy. Nice translation. Very we…er…Great. Very Great! We accept your terms.”

“Very Great. Let us not slap around the shrub, not the dilly-dally on this tiny evolvement. By altogether pace! I adore it when a plot arrives in unison.”

“Phew! Wow! I mean....I never knew Primordial was so exhausting like that.”

“And that’s just Italo-Primordial. Wait till you hear Greco.”

“No thanks. OK. Right. We pay some taxes at the nearest anchorage, forget we ever saw that contraption, and get out of here. So…” Jeli said tracing a line on the Shadow-Map. “…where now is the inspector leading us to?”

They all drew the same line towards a mass. “Uh-Oh” The party seemed to say in unison. They appeared to be heading straight for none other than….

 

[BoldItalic]

They appeared to be heading straight for none other than…. Herculaneum. It seemed a prosperous Roman town, nestling under a nearby mountain and with streets leading down to a bustling seafront. It was breakfast time when they moored in the harbour, and the aroma of freshly-baked bread filled the air.

The DM called for a History check, but didn't explain why.

Jeli cast Detect Date and Time and came up with 24^th August AD 79. For some reason that seemed significant but she couldn't remember why and none of the others could solve the mystery so they forgot about it. There were more pressing matters to attend to.

"You are my accompaniment tutti al fresco," announced the Inspector as they set off in the ships' boat towards an imposing looking building on the seafront. There they met a tax collector who, fortunately spoke fluent common. Herewulf had the impression that the Collector seemed to know them, or at least to know of them, but he couldn't think how that could possibly be. It wasn't a good day for Insight rolls.

Setting aside her broad-brimmed hat and fan, the tax collector pulled out an impressive-looking scroll and unrolled it. "You are assessed at one million sesterces," she announced with satisfaction. "You have 24 hours to pay, or you will all go to the circus."

"Sesterces are copper pieces, aren't they?" wondered Sam. "That's about 25 cart-loads you're asking for. Do you accept gold instead? How about ten thousand aureii?"

Char-Ging, for it was as you might have already guessed, none other than she, was taken aback at the casual way that Sam spoke of such huge sums of money. These were impossible amounts. They weren't supposed to be able to pay, they were supposed to be sold into slavery because they couldn't pay. Slaves were useful. All you could do with a cartload of money was hope it wouldn't get stolen. These people weren't playing the game.

"Very well, twelve thousand aureii of recent coinage bearing the head of the emperor Nero, bless his recent memory. By tomorrow." decided Char-Ging. She secretly knew that Nero had only minted seven thousand altogether so they couldn't possibly come up with them. She gloated inwardly. It was all going her way, this time.

"We can do that, certainly," agreed Sam. "Shall we bring it here in a hand-cart?"

"Yes, that will be acceptable. There is, of course, a tax on the use of hand-carts." There was just the slightest of quavers in Char-Ging's voice now. This diminutive pirate seemed so very sure of herself. Still, she thought to herself, if they do somehow come up with the money, we can always ask for more.

"Sam," asked Od after they had left the building, "What exactly do you have in mind? You know we've hidden all the gold and it wasn't roman coins anyway."

"I've remembered what day it is. Around lunchtime, Mount Vesuvius over there is going to explode and bury the next town in ash. People here will panic and we can offer a few dozen of the richest ones safe passage out of the area on the Phase Rider, at a suitably exorbitant price thus making a handsome profit. By tomorrow the tax office won't be functioning and, with any luck, that tax collector will have died horribly inside it."

"Are you sure about this?" asked Herewulf, "It seems so peaceful here. Shouldn't we warn the townspeople?"

"if you like, but they won't believe you."

"About lunch time, you say? We've just got time to ...."

 

[rgoodbb]

"About lunch time, you say? We've just got time to ...."

….get to the town’s great library.”

“Ooh. A library. Exciting.” Snored Nord.

“Well, it may give us a clue about where to find this big ol’ diamond.” Od replied hopefully.

They took the Francesco Orbiter to avoid luncheon rush-hour and made good time in their chariot and entered the dark, dry (and ripe for flame) bibliotheca. An old man sat at the entrance eating flatbread and red grapes. A clay cup of watered wine to his side. He was reading of course. Why wouldn’t you, when you work in a bibliotheca and have the whole of your life ahead of you…

“Good sir. We have need of your services.”

“Got a card?”

“What?”

“A library card. Send off for one. It’ll take about a week or two and then you can take out any book, tome, scroll or parchment you like.”

“We don’t really have time for that sir. We need the information now.”

“This place isn’t going anywhere. There’s always time.”

“….It is an emergency.”

“Don’t be rash. It’s not the end of the world.” Thud “Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…”

“Sorry. We didn’t have time” Nord remembered to check off one sleep spell from his slots. He did this by removing a ring from his right little finger to his left. When all the rings were on his left hand, he was out. It would start to get annoying, he imagined, when he had to use toe rings for the higher level spells.

The party rushed in and separated to speed up the search process. What books would hold worldly knowledge of the largest diamond?

Od - searched songbooks and poems for legends of large diamonds.

Herewulf - searched Military books to see who may have fought over this stone.

Nord - searched the nautical scrolls and parchments to find hidden isles that might hold their prise.

Jeli - (the druid) searched geological tomes for clues about rocks

Sam - searched everyone in the establishment (to see if they were hiding the stone)

Snappy - came back exhausted and covered in cobwebs and dust.

“I’ve found it.”

“What really?” Jeli was surprised. (And as such could not react further in this round but seeing as they were not in combat the surprise was moot.)

“Yep.”

“I don’t believe it. That’s great. Let’s get out of here quick.”

“No. you don’t understand. I’ve found the diamond.”

“I know I heard you the first time. It’s fantastic. Let’s talk more on the Rider.”

“It’s here.”

“Wha….oh no.”

“The diamond is under this building.”

“Oh Snappy I love you but we only have fourteen hours to save the mirth.”

“So, it’s deep down four levels, across a toxic underground aqueduct, through infested tunnels, passed a colony of exotic spiders, on the other side of a Mummy lair and around three trap rooms. We have to navigate another subterranean canal, some scolding steam vents and a badger.”

“A badger?”

“Maybe the deadliest encounter of them all.”

“This is what adventuring is all about. 14 hours? We can do that surely.” Stated Herewulf stirred by the call to action.

“Um Snappy?”

“Umhum?”

“You are not F%*$ing with us are you?”

“No, no. It really is there.”

“OK. Just checking.”

So our six intrepid explorers set off through a false bookcase and down a long corridor to meet their first challenge which just happened to be…

 

[BoldItalic]

their first challenge which just happened to be… a dungeon door. It was one of those traditional doors, all solid oak a foot thick, studded with iron nails that serve no actual purpose but look serious and with hinges concealed inside the stone doorway so you can't just lift it off. It had a ring-pull handle of course, which you could turn hopefully to make a grating noise but it was only for pulling the door shut, not for unlatching it again.

"Stand aside," commanded Herewulf as he charged at the door, shoulder first. "Umph," he added when it didn't yield but his shoulder did.

"Perhaps I can help," offered Sam, producing a wallet containing a set of Whitworth spanners and an old-fashioned oilcan. "You just have to know how to work the mechanism." She did complicated things with her tools but to no avail.

"It's no good," said the door suddenly, "I'm DC 26."

"We haven't got time for this," declared Jeli crossly, "Either you open right now mister door, or I use Silvester at Warp 8. Which is it to be?"

"Ooh get you," sneered the door, "Think we haven't thought of that? It's not my wood that stopping you getting through, it's my iron nails. You can't warp metal, can you, Druid? Well, can you?"

"Lignum Stamine!"

"Told you so."

"I have an idea," said Nord. "Suppose we ..."

 

[rgoodbb]

"I have an idea," said Nord. "Suppose we ..."

He didn't finish the sentence and just disappeared. They heard a slight bamph noise behind the door. The latch turned and the door opened. Nord moved a ring from his ring finger on his right hand to the same on his left hand. "Second level spell darnit."

"We could have used my wild shape I suppose but I forgot I had it."

"We have got the skills and the spells and the features for this quest. We will be victorious." A determined Herewulf rubbed some heal into his shoulder. "Onward."

"Next the steamvent canal." Recalled the crock. "We might need that door now."

"Hey I have a name you know."

"Yeah you told us: I am DC26, anywho you are coming with us." Herewul was able this time to remove DC26 from its hinges and they carried it forth towards the very dangerous canal.

"So Snappy. How did you get passed all of these deadly traps and encounters anyway?"

"Well...

 

[BoldItalic]

"Well... " replied Snappy coyly, "I have ... contacts. In high places."

Jeli rolled high on a Wisdom(Insight) check and, acting on a sudden thought, cast Search Previous Threads. She looked sharply at Snappy and suddenly a lot of things made sense. "I know who you are, Snappy." she said quietly.

"I could be."

"Your secret is safe with me."

"I know."

"I know you know," she sighed.

The steam canal proved to be a stone channel about 30 feet wide full of rapidly-flowing boiling acid about 10 feet deep, from which a pungent vapour was rising towards a cavernous roof far above. To add to the charm, a flock of 2d6 mephits were swooping about in the air above the canal. The leader of the mephits was called Jak and he hooted mockingly as the party approached along the north bank of the canal. "What are you looking at?" he demanded.

"We are looking for a way across the canal," replied Herewulf calmly.

"Well there isn't one. Go home."

"I suppose you know that a volcano is going to erupt right underneath here, later on today?"

"I suppose you know what all this boiling acid is for? Something has to dissolve enough rock to set it off."

"You mean, if we stop this canal flowing, Vesuvius won't erupt? And all those people in Pompeii won't get killed?"

"Yeah, Good luck with that, puny paladin."

Herewulf turned to the others with a questioning look on his face. Could they alter the course of history? Did they have the means to do it? Or should the somehow cross the acid canal and press on to recover the diamond and escape before it was too late?

"Oh boy. An old-school alignment test," muttered Od.

Jeli looked sternly at the crocodile they knew as Snappy. "Sbk, is this your doing?"

"Who me?"

"Yes, you."

"It might be."

"Well," said Herewulf, "My duty is clear. We must try to prevent the eruption and save the town."

"I say, we go for the diamond first," declared Sam firmly.

"I'm with Sam," said Nord. "You can't change history, it will erupt anyway."

Od hummed a catchy tune as he and Jeli made their fateful decisions. How would the final vote go? Did it matter, anyway? And when was second breakfast?

"I think," said Jeli slowly, "that ..."

 

[rgoodbb]

"I think," said Jeli slowly, "that ..."

….that……It’s an obvious choice. We should……..go.”

“What?”

“Well. It’s that or, or Split the party.

“Hold thyne tongue!” “Game breaker!” “Burn the Witch!” They all seemed to say.

“Exactly. So we should leave.”

“What, just leave in the middle of a quest?”

“Why not? Why can’t we do that?”

“But that’s a worse answer than both the others. We leave and let all those people die and don’t get the largest diamond or complete the quest. That’s a double failure.”

“And?”

“What do you mean and? Isn’t this what we’re here for?”

“Ooh now that’s a question, isn’t it. No that is the question. What are we hear for?”

“Oh no.”

“What.”

“I think she’s about to go into a Herewulf type rant.”

“Hey. I’m right h…..” SPLASH!

“I mean, are we puppets on strings?...”

“Jeli! It’s tied me up. A little help…aaaagh!”

“…Or do we own our own destiny? Is it us who decides…”

“Hold it down and for gods sakes and stab it.”

“..Our own future? Who writes the chapters in the book…”

“It’s immune to your Vicious Mockery. Quick blast it with Shatter.”

“..I say thee nay. We break our silence…”

“Hurry. Get that out of Nord’s mouth.”

“…We rise up against our so called …”

“Where did that come from? Close your eyes and jump. Jump!”

“…Owners, controllers, players…”

“It burns. It stings. Somebody either pee on it or dominate it.”

“…And of course the biggest Deity of them all…”

“Snuff her hair out and sing it a lullaby. Sing like the gods.”

“…The DEE-EMM. I say no more. No more…”

“Above! Look to the ceiling!”

“…I will defy them all. I will help us all break our bonds…”

“It has constricted Herewulf. Break its hold.”

“…We will have autonomy. Free will. Even if it kills us…”

“He’s dying!”

“…What do you say good friends? How say you?”

“…”

Jeli exhaled. Satisfied. Her speech triumphant. She turned, slowly, to face her comrades and…

 

[BoldItalic]

She turned, slowly, to face her comrades and… was just in time to see Od's hat floating away down the river of boiling acid. Of Od, Sam, Nord and Herewulf there was no sign but the acid was slightly discoloured in places, in a vaguely unsettling way.

Snappy/Sbk regarded her gravely. "You have chosen," he said without a trace of a grin. "Henceforth, as one of the Chosen ones, you have the free will that you have so elequently asked for. But free will comes at a price and your companions have paid it for you. They are gone. You, only, remain. After I leave you here, none of the gods will move to aid or hinder you in any way as you live out your mortal life. You may wish to become a hermit for a while but that is for you to decide."

And with that, Jeleneth was utterly alone.

When I left the underground vaults beneath the library in Herculaneum, she wrote later in her journal, it was just past midday. The sky was a lurid red and the wind had a sulphurous tang. The thing that struck me most was that all the dogs of the town were barking but no-one seemed to notice. I talked to one of the dogs and it said that it was barking because all the other dogs were barking; it didn't know why, it was a dog thing. It had no foreknowledge of what was to come. I invited it to accompany me to safety, but it was obliged to guard its house and would not come.

Looking out to the bay, I realised that the piratical crew of the Phase Rider had already sailed away and I was stranded with only the few possessions that I had with me. I resolved to march north-westwards along the coast towards the distant city of Neapolis, planning to reach it by evening. Not long after I set out, the great mountain behind me erupted with frightening ferocity and I tried not to think about the people who would be caught up in the fall of ash and perish. Clouds of smoke blotted out the sun and I was thankful that I possessed the Darkvision of my race for otherwise I might have been lost. I recall being overtaken on the road by a group of horsemen, seemingly a nobleman and his entourage, perhaps fleeing as I was. They carried lighted torches and I sensed that their horses were near to panic.

Reaching the safety of Neopolis by sunset, I wandered the streets until ...

 

[rgoodbb]

Reaching the safety of Neopolis by sunset, I wandered the streets until ... I came upon that nobleman and his entourage again. They had been attacked and had fallen from their horses. Some had died. It seems that Salamanders had had a part in creating the eruption, had spread down and far and wide to accentuate the chaos and carnage. I, in my druid form, was able to calm the horses and took a steed of my own. We travelled in company for a while until a new set of riders joined us. These were familiar to me. Xena, Amanda and Bigby. On their unicorns. They were a sight for sore eyes.

We met up with another horse patrol from the outer region. Others joined on their steeds and eventually our patrols and scouts and light cavalry troops had become a unified swollen mass of riders. It was surreal. We knew where the threat was but for some reason, we were all looking inwards. At each other. And then I realised something. We were not looking at each other. Everyone was looking at me.

It is at times like now, that I look back on that day and I often regret the decisions I made. The war is progressing well. Well as well as war can. The tide turns on a daily if not hourly basis. We lose some, they lose some. General Xena and her troopers have performed marvelously. It was not just the Salamanders. They were just the forward skirmishers. Fire Elementals, Efreeti and Fire Giants attack in unison. Our tactics have evolved to adapt to their warfare and theirs to ours. It is a living breathing thing, this war. It has a life of its own that demands the deaths of hundreds and thousands.

Being in charge. It is lonely. I am lonely. I am alone. The weight of the world. I pity Atlas. Today we make a daring dash forward. We have been planning this offensive for a few weeks now. We are set. As I am writing this, commanders are waiting for my word. A crocodile is meandering towards me. I sigh. It can be only one entity.

"Jeli."

"Hello."

"Sobek....I...."

"Correction Sbk."

"Why are you even here?"

"Don't you know?"

"No."

"I am here to now offer you a deal."

"Right now? You know what is about to happen?"

"I am aware of your pending attack. It will fail."

"You know this?"

"Of course. Now that you know this, here is my deal...