The Player/GM relationship.

[Summer-Knight925]

Until recently, I GMed and played mostly with males, and the few girls there did play were into girls themselves.

But recently I am looking at starting a new group which happens to have a girl.

While this is not unheard of and becoming more and more common, female gamers are always welcome at my table(s).

So at first I didn't think much of it.

Until today, when I learned she has a slight thing for me.
And normally I'd be happy and excited, but is it off limits? Is it like dating in the workplace? A player dating a player is fine, but a GM dating a player?

I thought I'd ask for some advice from the only people who would understand.

 

[Water Bob]

As a selfish player, I'd be skeptical.

But, c'mon, man. If the chick likes you, and you like her, then go for it.

If you're worried about your group, maybe you should take them aside without her there (so she won't feel uncomfortable) and assure them that you will judge the game with an even hand.

You...will...judge...the game with an even hand, right?

I mean, if her character finds herself in a certain death situation, you're not going to hold back, right? And, she understands this?

And, sometimes (if you are, indeed, even handed with her, treating all the players equally), players will get upset with your calls.

What are you going to do if she gets upset with you over the game? Is she the type that will not leave it at the game and bring it home with her?

 

[Loonook]

When it comes to sex life is too short to care about other nerd's jealousy.

Treat yourself. At the very worst you have players who want to be you get angsty... Though be sure to watch your back. I've seen enough unhinged idiots in the world about relationships... Most don't belong to subcultures who consider owning large-scale weapons to hang on the wall 'cool'. A fist fight sucks... Some moron with a katana makes your life a touch more difficult .

At best? It is fantastically worth it. Try out playing together and if it doesn't work you can always run and play in separate groups. You can baby her or play it fairly... Honestly I've seen both and cannot be offended... But I have seen RAAAAAAGE over DARING to give the Significant Other something in the game!

Oh noes!

My response? Unless you are personally, ahem, tending to the needs of your DM, you have no right to complain. She's taking one for the team make you happy, she deserves a +3 Longsword .

I kid of course, but seriously, go for it. It will either fail spectacularly, give you a good experience, or change your life. Just like any other relationship .

Slainte,

-Loonook.

 

[Summer-Knight925]

I would treat her the same, but I'm afraid she'd use her magical girl powers to seduce me into giving her extra.

And I dont think she would, but I can't tell.

And it's at that awkward stage where I'm not sure if I like her and she's not totally sure and blah blah blah drama needlessness


Pretty much, I just don't want to breakup because a kobold crited with a javelin..

 

[griffonwing]

Eventually you will come to the part where you roll the die...look up at her adorable smile.. you will reach over and cup a hand under her chin, and say < sweetheart. it's time for me to say those 3 special little words that I have longed to say.. Roll another character."

But make sure you blow her a kiss after you say this. *muah*

 

[Morrus]

Is it like dating in the workplace? A player dating a player is fine, but a GM dating a player?

No. Social situations have nothing to do with ethical workplace considerations.

 

[SkredlitheOgre]

I would treat her the same, but I'm afraid she'd use her magical girl powers to seduce me into giving her extra.

And I dont think she would, but I can't tell.

And it's at that awkward stage where I'm not sure if I like her and she's not totally sure and blah blah blah drama needlessness

Pretty much, I just don't want to breakup because a kobold crited with a javelin..

Is there someone else in the group that you trust implicitly? If so, and you think this relationship might lead to a gaming problem for the group, then take that person aside and say, "Me and Susie-Bob are going to try this relationship thing, but I don't want to show her any favoritism. Can you keep an eye on this and give me the high sign if I start doing so?"

Just a thought, anyway.

 

[Sunseeker]

It's only an issue if you treat her more/less favorably than other players. Treat her like a player while at the table, hit on her in your free time before/after the game.

 

[SkredlitheOgre]

Thank you for sharing.

Reported

 

[Elf Witch]

I have seen this kind of thing work out and sometimes it does not.

You should go for it if you like her there are more important things than a game.

I have found that what works best is to treat the SO the same as every one else. If you don't the other players tend to get angry over it and it leads to hostility.

Also be aware that if you break up it could mean her leaving the group.

I will admit to having mixed feelings when to comes to SO playing in the same game.

I know some who were fine to play with and didn't let their issues if they had them enter the game. But I have played with some who if the got in to a fight made everyone very uncomfortable because they acted it out in front of us. If you are having a fight better to stay home and not play.

I know people who joke about well she is screwing the DM so of course that is more important than the game so she should get more goodies and not have anything bad happen to her character. I cry foul on that big time. If she is going to get pissy over it then the best thing is not to play together with one of you DMing.