The proper Fireball

[Anabstercorian]

The Proper Disintigrate

Disintigrate is the sort of spell that inspires heaving terror in onlookers, not because of how indiscriminate it is but because of how brutally cold. The verbal components are short, sharp, and curt, like stab wounds, and the somatic component is simply to stand perfectly still, one arm at your side, the other arm pointed at your foe, and direct the beam.

The beam itself does not travel in a straight line, and is not even straight. It curves and spirals all about the place, a thin green ray of light the color of a lightning bugs tail. If it the caster successfully locks on to its target (which requires the attack roll), it strikes instantly, like a lightning bolt.

The beam does not bore through armor and clothing. It does not blast holes in walls on the way to its target. It can vaporize a fully armored knight in ritual plate mail without even scratching the polish, leaving a set of mail that has boots filled with dust. Instead, a disintigrate spell merely skates off of surfaces between it and its target, ricocheting off of bystanders like a rock skipping across a pond. When it strikes the target, it flashes along their gear until it finds a route to their flesh, slipping between cracks too small to even allow the passage of air. In more futuristic settings, a disintigrate spell can dust a spaceman without breaching his vacuum suit.

The target, once struck, simply flashes bright white and then vanishes, leaving behind nothing but traces of dust - if he is killed by the spell.

Survivors bleed from their nose, gums, eyelids, fingernails, and rectum as their mucous membranes are shattered. Often their teeth fall out. Those who are very nearly slain by the spell are often blinded and deafened for a second or two, and experience numbness, internal bleeding, and minor seizures.

 

[Norfleet]

That's some nasty side effects for a passing a save, particularly since all of those seem like they'd incur in-game effects which don't naturally follow. Also, no mention is made of any curving, twisting, or variation in thickness of disintegrate in the PHB. In fact, it's explicitly described as "a thin green ray". Rays are straight.

Actually, looking over the PHB spell text for Disintegrate, I'm not quite sure where the idea that disintegrate can vaporize an opponent and leave his equipment intact comes from, other than "only the first object or creature struck can be affected", which means that, either the entire creature, with equipment, is considered a single "creature or object", or only the first object struck, I.E., the spacesuit, will be disintegrated.

 

[Broken Fang]

Does my Contingency go off in those three seconds while my fat is melting? If so can my teleport go off to my own call buddy with a heal spell.

 

[Anabstercorian]

I didn't realize that the spell explicitly described the green ray. I guess I have some editing to do... But trust me. I had to beat up a UPS guy to find out, but Disintigrate definately does not affect a critters equipment - Unless you aim specifically for their equipment. Nasty spell.

 

[Norfleet]

Disintegrate also says that it affects the first object or creature struck. Since rays, by definition, are straight, in the case of somebody sealed inside a spacesuit, the spacesuit is going to be the object struck first.

The question then becomes, so how does one define "creature" and "object"? If the items worn by a creature are considered to be part of the creature for these purposes, then clearly, the entire package disintegrates, like a victim of a Star Trek phaser. If the objects are considered seperate from the creature, then only that object is affected, as it's clearly the first object struck, and thus, equipment worn by a character effectively provides "cover" against disintegration.

It seems kind of strange otherwise, that a suit of armor, if free-standing, provides a character with protection against disintegration as cover, but when worn, the armor suddenly becomes useless.

Plus, which makes for a more entertaining and playable encounter? To be hit by a disintegrate, and left standing in your underwear, or to be disintegrated, effectively ending the game on a single die roll, leaving only a pile of equipment?

I've never entirely understood 3E's spell design philosophy: Apparently, it's considered acceptable to force individuals, or even entire groups, to save or die, a result which hinges entirely on a single die roll, and is nearly predetermined from the outset, since saving throws are blatantly rigged such that a character will effectively always fail a "bad" save and always pass "good" ones, but it is not acceptable to have a spell which inflicts a wholesome chunk of damage to one or more targets with a satisfying amount of collateral damage all around.

I don't get it.