To settle the matter of a smart Paladin once and for all, I thought that it would be proper to create a mid-level core race/core class paladin with a VERY LOW intelligence and describe his person to you to the best of my ability. I now present to you all, the one, the only, Muulg!
Muulg, Male Half-Orc Paladin 9
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[32-point. Sorry, it's what I use]
Stat ##(Points used)
Str 18(6, + 2 level increases), Dex 12(4), Con 14(6),
Int 6(0), Wis 14(6), Cha 14(10)
Hmm... I was gonna go into all the stats and stuff, but I realize that this would be completely pointless, so I'll go strait to the interview:
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SGJ: Welcome Muulg.
Muulg: *grunts acknowledgment*
SGJ: You are here tonight to dispell any rumors that a paladin cannot succesfully function when... dumb.
Muulg: I'm not dumb. Muulg have a learning disorder.
SGJ: Really? That's quite interesting. What's the name of this disorder.
Muulg: I can't not learn much stuff.
SGJ: Uh-huh. So, how did you end up being a Paladin of Pelor?
Muulg: My mother was a human. She was captured by the Bad Orcs who had their way with her. She was rescued by a Paladin. When I was born't, she gave me to the Order to raise as a true believer.
SGJ: Really? So you didn't choose to be a Paladin?
Muulg: Of course Muulg chose to be a knight! Muulg is no fool! The Great and Mighty Pelor had chosen Muulg to do His bidding, so Muulg accepted the offer.
SGJ: But weren't you just brainwashed by the continuous influence of the Church?
Muulg: *stares blankly* -blink-
SGJ: Right, so onto question number... what is this, anyhow?
Muulg: *holds up two fingers*
SGJ: Thanks. Onto question number two. How has your "Learning Disorder" hampered your advancement as a Paladin?
Muulg: *Thinking very hard* Well, Muulg is not as bright as other squires, so it took me longer to learn things. I'm still not as good at the others at talkin' 'bout politics, but I can ride my horse, Grey-Wind, pretty good.
SGJ: How has your reduced intelect hampered what you can do to uphold Good and Law?
Muulg: *Thinking hard again* Muulg is not sent to pursuade others. Muulg is not good with politics, but I am good warrior.
SGJ: Is that all that you do? Fight?
Muulg: No. I fight against bad things, yeah, but Muulg also helps with the church. I builds stuff and help with heavy labor when needed.
SGJ: Are you responsible for converting many peoples to what your order refers to as the Righteous Ways?
Muulg: *Happily* Oh yeah! Muulg gets lots of people to respect me. I try really hard at everything, and Muulg can do a lot! Lots of the Unworthy come to Muulg, and they say to me, "Wow! Are all Knights as dedicated as you?" and I says "No. All Righteous are this dedicated, because they will join the Shining God in eternal Bliss when they pass on. The Lord of Light rewards those who try hard and do their best, so long as they don't stray from their path." The Unworthy listen to Muulg, too, 'cause they feels like I'm just like one of them.
SGJ: Would you say that you have a commanding presence?
Muulg: Lot's of people's wanna join with Muulg. My squire, a human boy called Alaran, he gives Muulg advice and helps with the people stuff. Muulg follows the One Law of Good: Treat others better than yourself.
SGJ: Aren't there more than twenty laws that the Order must follow?
Muulg: *shrugs* They only taught me the One Rule. They said that was all I would need to know.
SGJ: That's great. I was wondering, what keeps you from becoming "bad"?
Muulg: (with a look of horror on his face) Muulg will NEVER become bad! The Knights said to Muulg that the Bad and the Unworthy never see the tower of the Shining Lord. They never gets to be eternally happy! Instead, they go down to the Hells and burn forever. I don't wanna' burn forever.
SGJ: Okay, and that leads me to my next question, how do you figure out who is Bad?
Muulg: The Great Shining Lord Pelor shows Muulg who is bad. All I has to do is concentrate hard, and I see who's Bad and who's not.
SGJ: Couldn't someone trick you and make a Righteous person look Bad?
Muulg: Muulg doesn't decide who is Bad. Muulg can be tricked, but Pelor can never be tricked. Muulg sees who Pelor says are Bad, and I destroy them.
SGJ: Well thank you for coming onto this thread tonight, Muulg. Hopefully this interview has shown a little bit about... uh... un-intelligent Paladins to all of the non-believers out there.
Muulg: *apears to be concentrating*
SGJ: Hey, what are you doing? Stop that!
Muulg: (face contorting with anger) You're Bad! Pelor tells Muulg to smash you! *draws his sword*
SGJ: Now wait a minute, Muulg. Sure I'm evil, but should you be killing me on a public thread? I mean, I created you dammit!
Muulg: (Obviously meticulously rehearsed) By the decree of the Shining God Pelor, I, Muulg, shall dispatch you to the Hells from which you came!
SGJ: *Screams, but is cut short... literally. Muulg cleans his sword on his tunic and turns towards the rest of the thread-posters*
Muulg: *concentrates* You're all Bad! By the Light of Pelor, I will smash you! *charges at the nearest person, with no care for himself*
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well, that was sure fun to write. Even if it does nothing to strengthen anyone's points, I hope you all find that interesting (and I don't think that that constitutes a thread-jacking since it's still on topic... sorta). Muulg will be free to answer any questions, once he has slsughtered all of us. And with that, RUN! Muulg is coming for you!