Creamsteak
Explorer
Ah... poor creamsteak will one day feel ready to join the Rat Bastard's Club, but for now he is a lowly "Annoying Mouse" on the way to "Repulsive Weasel."
The Rat Bastard’s Club is now recruiting new members!
- Thread starter Lordnightshade
- Start date
Sagiro
Rodent of Uncertain Parentage
Re: The Rat Bastard’s Club is now recruiting new members!
Let me go on record as saying Rule #5 stinks. I mean, I have plenty of ideas on how Piratecat's game could be improved. (Most of them involve wimpy undead, wisdom-enhancing items for his poor cleric PC, and treasure that doesn't try to hurt us.)
I'll just sit here in my dark room by myself, thinking rat-bastardy thoughts while muttering curses under my breath.
-Sagiro
Lordnightshade said:
Let me go on record as saying Rule #5 stinks. I mean, I have plenty of ideas on how Piratecat's game could be improved. (Most of them involve wimpy undead, wisdom-enhancing items for his poor cleric PC, and treasure that doesn't try to hurt us.)
I'll just sit here in my dark room by myself, thinking rat-bastardy thoughts while muttering curses under my breath.
-Sagiro
Roland Delacroix
First Post
Re: Re: The Rat Bastard’s Club is now recruiting new members!
Should we start a rat-not-quite-bastardy-enough club?
Sagiro said:
Should we start a rat-not-quite-bastardy-enough club?
Lela
First Post
I also e-mailed you the Word Document I used to create/store all this. It looks a lot better there than here and I would hope that you use that rather than this to judge. But you did say to post it here as well, so here ya go.
Responding to the questions.
1. What style of game do you like to run? Any particular setting? High-level? Low-Level? Epic fantasy or 'grim & gritty'?
a. I prefer Forgotten Realms low-level, mid to high powered. I adjust the world to be of my own creation but use mostly the established cosmology and mythos. I do throw in changes though. I recently had Hextor show up and upset the whole balance thing. We’ll see what he can get done before Iao decides to step in.
2. Why do you think you are a Rat-Bastard?
a. Aside form my players calling me one, I would say it’s my ability to use what I know about the player’s personality and play it against the PC’s personality. Some of my players are quite good at distinguishing between the two. Others have serious trouble. Both types hate it when the two are in conflict.
3. Post an Iron DM submission using these ingredients: (Note* we are watching the official Iron DM competition and so will also base our selection on that competition).
There is no limit on length; however, you don’t want to bore us so keep it reasonable.
Pirate Ship
Quaal's Feather Token
Saddened Half-Orc
Windmill
Succubus
Skeleton Key
This should take place while a party is traveling and can thus be easily inserted into any campaign. It is best suited for parties with a Lawful bent. ECL 11-14.
The party will see a windmill turning in the distance and those with sharp eyes might notice a speck of glimmering, shinny metal fly across the horizon. When they come around a bend (the road detoured around a rather large hill), they find what appears to be a knight in very shinny armor. He, atop his horse, is charging at the windmill; heavy lance pointed straight. As can be expected, the windmill whacks him from his horse.
Assuming the party doesn’t stop him, he will determinately climb back on the horse, ride around in a slow circle, and charge again. He will continue dong this until it gets beyond ridiculous (15-20 times) and then will approach the party on his own. If hailed or his way blocked, he will stop and tell his sad tail to the party (with plenty of “Woe is me” and “Alas” statements).
He says that he is a noble night who was out walking with his ladylove for a romantic walk when they came upon two vial and disgusting orcs. These wholly evil creatures immediately set upon them and while he was able to slay the foul female, the ugly smelly beast captured the desire of his heart and stole her away to this accursed windmill, where he hides her still.
“All I have left of my ladylove is this small token,” he displays a small feather, then clutches it close. “She was to create a mighty oak on the day we were to be wedded. It was to be a symbol of the strength of our love. But, alas, woe is me, for my love is lost and I may never see the oak bloom. Never see the white of her wedding dress. Never know her touch again. For the foul orc has her secreted away in yonder . . . ur, windmill.
“Alas, I would return to ask aid of her father—the great Wizard Benthance—but he is a full days ride and I fear what the foul creature of darkness does with my ladylove. Oh woe is me.”
If the party doesn’t offer to rescue her at this point the knight will ask them outright, promising rewards from his vast estates and her father’s magics. Hopefully, the party accepts.
When they arrive at the windmill, they notice a door. Wide open.
As they walk in and climb the stairway, they find a door halfway up. If opened they find one skeleton, which immediately attacks them. Once beaten (it was a normal skeleton), they see a door on opposite side of the room. Whimpering (Listen DC 12) progresses from the doorway. It’s locked, from the side the PCs are facing. Once opened, they find a cowering half-orc rocking back and forth and moaning. He seems to be praying for St. Cuthbert (or deity of similar alignment) to protect him.
He takes a little coaxing but will calm down (Diplomacy DC 12). His tale is very different from the knight’s. It’s also notable that he is very articulate; seeming to be very intelligent (Int: 15). He speaks of a murderous human who charged he and his wife while they were setting up camp. Suddenly the eyes of his dearest wife (also a half-orc) open wide; fear and pain evident on her face. A lance piercing her shoulder.
She spun around, drawing her mace; screaming husband—newer to the priesthood—to run. He did, looking back only once to see his beautiful wife fall to the ground; her lifeblood leaking out of her. A gruesome series of moments that will play out in his mind during his darkest moments and claw at him during his happiest.
It was then that he happened upon the woman. She was dressed in the manor of a noble and, somehow, he knew that she was the beloved of the ghastly knight who’d slain his love. As stated in the doctrine of St. Cuthbert, he wanted Vengeance.
He grabbed the girl and dragged her away, finding this windmill just as the knight rounded the hill. He began to drag her up the stairs.
When they reached the outer doorway, the woman changed, “Her skin went red, horns grew from her head, and black wings unfolded like thread.” She forced him into this small closet, locked the door, and then seemed to shack around a jar. Suddenly there was a scraping noise outside along with her voice, which, while seductive, was dark and sent chills along the spine. Then she was gone.
“I don’t know abyssal all that well, but I think she said something about a key.” (If the party has already searched the body of the skeleton they’ve found a large key.)
Should the party choose to continue up the stairs they will find a large iron door. The only way in is to use the key found on the lower level. After the key is turned, it evaporates into flame and, after a second, the door does as well. They find the succubus standing, waiting for them. If given the chance she will boast at how easily she tricked the stupid fool into slaying one of St. Cuthbert’s more powerful Paladins. She will laugh at how easy it was to lure them up here as well (she’s bluffing about this last part, Sense Motive check vs. Bluff Check).
When the battle starts, she will immediately pull the stopper on a bottle she’s holding and shake it upside down, four times. In the bottle seems to be a modal pirate ship and out pops 1 10th level Fighter, 3 5th level fighters, and 2 3rd level Sorcerers. They will be dressed as pirates (the leader having a wooden leg, -1 Dex, can make kick attack: touch attack, poison: Fort: 18; 1d6Dex/1d8 Str) and will move to protect the Succubus.
After the battle they may return to the lower level to find the orc waiting patiently for them. He will ask what happened and, if told, will respond that both Justice and Vengeance were served, nodding somberly.
When they arrive outside, the knight will immediately attack the orc, charging forth on his great steed. He will be knocked aside by the windmill blade once again. This time he is completely unconscious.
If the party waits for him to awaken, they may inform him as to what happened. He will deny it fully. The orc will have gone prior to his awakening and the knight will call them liars and charlatans. He will demand that the group go after and kill the foul orc. Without waiting for a response, he will ride off in the opposite direction the orc went, calling back how he will see their names ruined.
Unless the party offered them, he will not have any idea as to their names. The party may realize this is they are thinking well (Int check DC 13). Most likely, he will have talked over them trying to give their names, not stopping for mere commoners’ names.
4. Do you have a story hour? Home Page? Post any links here that you think could help us know you better.
a. Hmmm, I have a Story Hour that hasn’t been updated in a long while. I didn’t have the time to keep up with it and eventually let it slide off into oblivion. You can find it here. (http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15796)
5. Your email address, if you don’t want this part public then email me, but still post your responses to the other questions here, as all the members of the RBC will be judging your answers.
a. You can e-mail me at Yuppy_Scum@Yahoo.com. My ENWorld name is Lela.
Responding to the questions.
1. What style of game do you like to run? Any particular setting? High-level? Low-Level? Epic fantasy or 'grim & gritty'?
a. I prefer Forgotten Realms low-level, mid to high powered. I adjust the world to be of my own creation but use mostly the established cosmology and mythos. I do throw in changes though. I recently had Hextor show up and upset the whole balance thing. We’ll see what he can get done before Iao decides to step in.
2. Why do you think you are a Rat-Bastard?
a. Aside form my players calling me one, I would say it’s my ability to use what I know about the player’s personality and play it against the PC’s personality. Some of my players are quite good at distinguishing between the two. Others have serious trouble. Both types hate it when the two are in conflict.
3. Post an Iron DM submission using these ingredients: (Note* we are watching the official Iron DM competition and so will also base our selection on that competition).
There is no limit on length; however, you don’t want to bore us so keep it reasonable.
Pirate Ship
Quaal's Feather Token
Saddened Half-Orc
Windmill
Succubus
Skeleton Key
This should take place while a party is traveling and can thus be easily inserted into any campaign. It is best suited for parties with a Lawful bent. ECL 11-14.
The party will see a windmill turning in the distance and those with sharp eyes might notice a speck of glimmering, shinny metal fly across the horizon. When they come around a bend (the road detoured around a rather large hill), they find what appears to be a knight in very shinny armor. He, atop his horse, is charging at the windmill; heavy lance pointed straight. As can be expected, the windmill whacks him from his horse.
Assuming the party doesn’t stop him, he will determinately climb back on the horse, ride around in a slow circle, and charge again. He will continue dong this until it gets beyond ridiculous (15-20 times) and then will approach the party on his own. If hailed or his way blocked, he will stop and tell his sad tail to the party (with plenty of “Woe is me” and “Alas” statements).
He says that he is a noble night who was out walking with his ladylove for a romantic walk when they came upon two vial and disgusting orcs. These wholly evil creatures immediately set upon them and while he was able to slay the foul female, the ugly smelly beast captured the desire of his heart and stole her away to this accursed windmill, where he hides her still.
“All I have left of my ladylove is this small token,” he displays a small feather, then clutches it close. “She was to create a mighty oak on the day we were to be wedded. It was to be a symbol of the strength of our love. But, alas, woe is me, for my love is lost and I may never see the oak bloom. Never see the white of her wedding dress. Never know her touch again. For the foul orc has her secreted away in yonder . . . ur, windmill.
“Alas, I would return to ask aid of her father—the great Wizard Benthance—but he is a full days ride and I fear what the foul creature of darkness does with my ladylove. Oh woe is me.”
If the party doesn’t offer to rescue her at this point the knight will ask them outright, promising rewards from his vast estates and her father’s magics. Hopefully, the party accepts.
When they arrive at the windmill, they notice a door. Wide open.
As they walk in and climb the stairway, they find a door halfway up. If opened they find one skeleton, which immediately attacks them. Once beaten (it was a normal skeleton), they see a door on opposite side of the room. Whimpering (Listen DC 12) progresses from the doorway. It’s locked, from the side the PCs are facing. Once opened, they find a cowering half-orc rocking back and forth and moaning. He seems to be praying for St. Cuthbert (or deity of similar alignment) to protect him.
He takes a little coaxing but will calm down (Diplomacy DC 12). His tale is very different from the knight’s. It’s also notable that he is very articulate; seeming to be very intelligent (Int: 15). He speaks of a murderous human who charged he and his wife while they were setting up camp. Suddenly the eyes of his dearest wife (also a half-orc) open wide; fear and pain evident on her face. A lance piercing her shoulder.
She spun around, drawing her mace; screaming husband—newer to the priesthood—to run. He did, looking back only once to see his beautiful wife fall to the ground; her lifeblood leaking out of her. A gruesome series of moments that will play out in his mind during his darkest moments and claw at him during his happiest.
It was then that he happened upon the woman. She was dressed in the manor of a noble and, somehow, he knew that she was the beloved of the ghastly knight who’d slain his love. As stated in the doctrine of St. Cuthbert, he wanted Vengeance.
He grabbed the girl and dragged her away, finding this windmill just as the knight rounded the hill. He began to drag her up the stairs.
When they reached the outer doorway, the woman changed, “Her skin went red, horns grew from her head, and black wings unfolded like thread.” She forced him into this small closet, locked the door, and then seemed to shack around a jar. Suddenly there was a scraping noise outside along with her voice, which, while seductive, was dark and sent chills along the spine. Then she was gone.
“I don’t know abyssal all that well, but I think she said something about a key.” (If the party has already searched the body of the skeleton they’ve found a large key.)
Should the party choose to continue up the stairs they will find a large iron door. The only way in is to use the key found on the lower level. After the key is turned, it evaporates into flame and, after a second, the door does as well. They find the succubus standing, waiting for them. If given the chance she will boast at how easily she tricked the stupid fool into slaying one of St. Cuthbert’s more powerful Paladins. She will laugh at how easy it was to lure them up here as well (she’s bluffing about this last part, Sense Motive check vs. Bluff Check).
When the battle starts, she will immediately pull the stopper on a bottle she’s holding and shake it upside down, four times. In the bottle seems to be a modal pirate ship and out pops 1 10th level Fighter, 3 5th level fighters, and 2 3rd level Sorcerers. They will be dressed as pirates (the leader having a wooden leg, -1 Dex, can make kick attack: touch attack, poison: Fort: 18; 1d6Dex/1d8 Str) and will move to protect the Succubus.
After the battle they may return to the lower level to find the orc waiting patiently for them. He will ask what happened and, if told, will respond that both Justice and Vengeance were served, nodding somberly.
When they arrive outside, the knight will immediately attack the orc, charging forth on his great steed. He will be knocked aside by the windmill blade once again. This time he is completely unconscious.
If the party waits for him to awaken, they may inform him as to what happened. He will deny it fully. The orc will have gone prior to his awakening and the knight will call them liars and charlatans. He will demand that the group go after and kill the foul orc. Without waiting for a response, he will ride off in the opposite direction the orc went, calling back how he will see their names ruined.
Unless the party offered them, he will not have any idea as to their names. The party may realize this is they are thinking well (Int check DC 13). Most likely, he will have talked over them trying to give their names, not stopping for mere commoners’ names.
4. Do you have a story hour? Home Page? Post any links here that you think could help us know you better.
a. Hmmm, I have a Story Hour that hasn’t been updated in a long while. I didn’t have the time to keep up with it and eventually let it slide off into oblivion. You can find it here. (http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15796)
5. Your email address, if you don’t want this part public then email me, but still post your responses to the other questions here, as all the members of the RBC will be judging your answers.
a. You can e-mail me at Yuppy_Scum@Yahoo.com. My ENWorld name is Lela.
Last edited:
Kid Charlemagne
I am the Very Model of a Modern Moderator
Re: Re: The Rat Bastard’s Club is now recruiting new members!
Don't feel too bad. I'll be thinking of you as I sit here, cackling over Kellharin's stat block...
-Member, Rat Bastard's Club
Sagiro said:
Don't feel too bad. I'll be thinking of you as I sit here, cackling over Kellharin's stat block...
-Member, Rat Bastard's Club
bloodymage
House Ruler
I don' need no steenkin' club! Read my sig! 
Lordnightshade
First Post
The Rat Bastard’s Club is no longer accepting applications for membership, we have selected our new members and those who were selected have been sent offers via email.
I want to thank you all for taking the time and effort to apply to the Rat Bastard’s Club.
Unfortunately we can only invite a very few of you into the private club at this time.
However, due to the large amount of interest we have seen here we have decided to open a forum on the Rat Bastard’s Message board up to the public, so anyone can come and post there and receive help from the creative minds in the RBC.
This is something that is currently a work in progress and if you go there now you will probably see some things change in the near future. However, feel free to stop by, be sure to read the FAQ and then post away to your hearts content.
You can find us here:
http://pub56.ezboard.com/baquerra
I want to thank you all for taking the time and effort to apply to the Rat Bastard’s Club.
Unfortunately we can only invite a very few of you into the private club at this time.
However, due to the large amount of interest we have seen here we have decided to open a forum on the Rat Bastard’s Message board up to the public, so anyone can come and post there and receive help from the creative minds in the RBC.
This is something that is currently a work in progress and if you go there now you will probably see some things change in the near future. However, feel free to stop by, be sure to read the FAQ and then post away to your hearts content.
You can find us here:
http://pub56.ezboard.com/baquerra
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