D
Dante_Trublade
Guest
Mirander said:
just a little humor..."look at me ma! Im a were-roach!"
just a little humor..."look at me ma! Im a were-roach!"
Dontella
First Post
116. The man you just met grows outraged you do not agree to marry him after five minutes, and as such you must duel to the death from his grief... Not to worry, this is standard procedure.
117. All problems will be instantly solved by a mysterious stranger who happens to be passing by, so one never has to fear..
118. A woman wearing concealing clothing who dosn't describe her cleavage for a paragraph, is like the sun shining on Juxta.. it'll never happen.
119. Be wary of children and animals, for both are more than they seem.. and will proceed to destroy anyone who so much as eyes their milk wrong.
120. All injuries will be healed in a matter of seconds.. no matter how sever and life threatening.. and even if the person objects to aid.
117. All problems will be instantly solved by a mysterious stranger who happens to be passing by, so one never has to fear..
118. A woman wearing concealing clothing who dosn't describe her cleavage for a paragraph, is like the sun shining on Juxta.. it'll never happen.
119. Be wary of children and animals, for both are more than they seem.. and will proceed to destroy anyone who so much as eyes their milk wrong.
120. All injuries will be healed in a matter of seconds.. no matter how sever and life threatening.. and even if the person objects to aid.
T
Tharivious_Meliamne
Guest
Heh, I'm guilty of a few of those, oh well, I can still add a few of my own to the list:
121. No matter what, all characters under the height of 4 feet will be made humorous with some sort of very odd habit. Be it nervousness or a crazy gimick.*
122. The most insane characters are often the most powerful ones ever. You'll never kill them and they'll throw magical doom at you with great vengeance and furious anger. Double this if they are also less than 4 feet tall.
123. If someone does something cool and original, it will be cloned within two days and there will be 20 of them by the end of the week.
124. There will always be someone more powerful than you. And they will always be the ones throwing out the challenges to fights to the death to level 1 commoners.
125. An auto-hit will never hit**. A well phrased attack will only hit half the time. An attack that is declared a miss by the attacker will always decapitate the defender through some reverse vorpal weapon ability.
126. Never touch Ladyshade's cobbler or chocolate, you'll lose a hand. I've witnessed something very similar a few times.
127. Never underestimate Apathy. They're somewhat insane in what they'll go through with, and as a player of one of them, I can confirm that statement.
128. Always fight a vampire/shade/shadowdancer in a shadowed area. What can they do there?
129. People will always turn their backs on an assassin during a fight to deal with their attractive female counterpart with the dagger who badly missed them when stabbing at them. Then, the person will not even flinch when the assassin runs him through the heart and lungs.
130. Never stay in a room if you see a pie being thrown, because there will soon be about 500 more on the way within the next three lines of text.
* - Yep, I'm guilty of these.
** - This is a good thing.
121. No matter what, all characters under the height of 4 feet will be made humorous with some sort of very odd habit. Be it nervousness or a crazy gimick.*
122. The most insane characters are often the most powerful ones ever. You'll never kill them and they'll throw magical doom at you with great vengeance and furious anger. Double this if they are also less than 4 feet tall.
123. If someone does something cool and original, it will be cloned within two days and there will be 20 of them by the end of the week.
124. There will always be someone more powerful than you. And they will always be the ones throwing out the challenges to fights to the death to level 1 commoners.
125. An auto-hit will never hit**. A well phrased attack will only hit half the time. An attack that is declared a miss by the attacker will always decapitate the defender through some reverse vorpal weapon ability.
126. Never touch Ladyshade's cobbler or chocolate, you'll lose a hand. I've witnessed something very similar a few times.
127. Never underestimate Apathy. They're somewhat insane in what they'll go through with, and as a player of one of them, I can confirm that statement.
128. Always fight a vampire/shade/shadowdancer in a shadowed area. What can they do there?
129. People will always turn their backs on an assassin during a fight to deal with their attractive female counterpart with the dagger who badly missed them when stabbing at them. Then, the person will not even flinch when the assassin runs him through the heart and lungs.
130. Never stay in a room if you see a pie being thrown, because there will soon be about 500 more on the way within the next three lines of text.
* - Yep, I'm guilty of these.
** - This is a good thing.
S
Ssussunriyh
Guest
Dontella said:
I beg to differ with you there, with regard to most of my characters. But I take your meaning. The unspoken assumption is that they're good-looking, no matter how little their descriptions say about it. Characters are either strikingly attractive or hideously ugly (sometimes both at once!) There is no middle ground.
J
Jardel_Karabella
Guest
I used to have a female char who's description said she was quite plain.
Oddly enough people still kept ranting about how beautiful she was.
Which brings us to:
131. People who don't have time to write or update their description over the course of a week always have time to complain that people arean't up to date with their description.
132. Oddly enough it seems all grand masters are either self trained, or trained by some creature who would by all rights want to kill them on site.
133. Just because you're part of a secret society doesn't mean it should be a secret.
Oddly enough people still kept ranting about how beautiful she was.
Which brings us to:
131. People who don't have time to write or update their description over the course of a week always have time to complain that people arean't up to date with their description.
132. Oddly enough it seems all grand masters are either self trained, or trained by some creature who would by all rights want to kill them on site.
133. Just because you're part of a secret society doesn't mean it should be a secret.
F
Fenmarel
Guest
*picks himself up off the floor after laughing so hard, looks at the screen and falls back out of his chair once more laughing*
K
Kami no Kenshin
Guest
Original Post By: Dante trueblade:
ROFL!!!! Pepsi...... spurting....... out........ nose.......
Something like this actually sorta happened in a White Wolf Game.........
A character in a mixed White Wolf group (consisting of a Mage, a Werewolf and a Werecat....and something else that I can't recall right now.......)
Player 1 (the werewolf) is in wolf form. He declares in combat round one that he will shift into his werewolf form. Player 2 (the mage) has never seen a werewolf before, and thinks the wolf is some kind of dog.
Player 2 (a few minutes before combat) to Player 1: Aww!! What a pretty dog!! Here boy!!! C'mere!!!
Player 1: GROWL!!!! BARK BARK BARK!!!!! SNARL!!!!!
Player 2: Aww.....that's not a very nice doggy!!
(Combat Begins)
Round 1: Player 1 changes to werewolf form. Player 2 spends entire round staring stupidly and pointing.....
Player 2: THAT'S NOT A DOG!!!!!
Player 2 got extra XP for roleplaying.......
ROFL!!!! Pepsi...... spurting....... out........ nose.......
Something like this actually sorta happened in a White Wolf Game.........
A character in a mixed White Wolf group (consisting of a Mage, a Werewolf and a Werecat....and something else that I can't recall right now.......)
Player 1 (the werewolf) is in wolf form. He declares in combat round one that he will shift into his werewolf form. Player 2 (the mage) has never seen a werewolf before, and thinks the wolf is some kind of dog.
Player 2 (a few minutes before combat) to Player 1: Aww!! What a pretty dog!! Here boy!!! C'mere!!!
Player 1: GROWL!!!! BARK BARK BARK!!!!! SNARL!!!!!
Player 2: Aww.....that's not a very nice doggy!!
(Combat Begins)
Round 1: Player 1 changes to werewolf form. Player 2 spends entire round staring stupidly and pointing.....
Player 2: THAT'S NOT A DOG!!!!!
Player 2 got extra XP for roleplaying.......
G
Gene_Kynes
Guest
Time for some Vampire lovin'.
Jardel> In the land of the insane, madmen are quite plain, and men of sanity are obviously raging lunatics. Or something. I guess after seeing so many beautiful women, the plain-featured one is a bit rarer...and since beauty is usually rare, homliness becomes beauty. Or something.
Fenmarel> Welcome!
Kami> You too, welcome! And...try Coke. It has sugary goodness.
134.All vampires are either angsty, guilty, and whiny...obsessed with their own drama and attempts to repent.
134.I Those who aren't angsty are as deadly, beautiful, and evil as they come.
135. Never, ever expect a Vampire to...you know..follow the rules of Vampire flaws. All ISRP breed vampires are undead gods. Duh.
136. Samora, get back in that ******* TV before I get another brick. You heard me, get the hell back in. I'm not afraid to throw another, you well-dwelling brat. (( Okay, not relevant, but I saw it again in hopes of overexposure working. God, I hate flies now. ))
136's true form. All Vampires, despite the slight handicap of being dead, and having no circulation, can perfectly seduce.
137. Most newbies type one one-liner, then spend the rest of the RPing time correcting the typos and trying to pick up the opposite sex.
138. Most newbies will ignore said opposite sex's mate when (s)he arrives, and glares/questions/threatens the suitor.
139. Either that, or offer you a "fight to the death" over the object of their adoration. Usually only applies to males.
140. If you're remotely divine or profane in bloodlines, everything must contrast. Your swords have to be in twin sets, one black/red, the other white/blue. You need to have batwings, dove wings, or one of each. Oh, and you need a "bad side" that you push away (read: For roughly five seconds after either aprty declares that they love the other party.) romantic possibilities.
141* Nobody will really think of you well after you die if your spirit comes back and says "you have to love me, it's the only way I'll be ressurected". I mean, damn.
142. Threatening to "jump off" of anything will not gain pity-dates, nor pity, from me. Jump off the Emporium walls, see if I care. Hell, I'll even push you off, then loot your corpse if possible.
--------------
Notes:
*: I saw this, once. "In order for me to come back, you need to say something, but you have to mean it, ok?"
Girl: "Oh...okay..."
:"You have to say that you love me."
Me: "...time t'ruin things. Hi-ho, Silver!"
Yeah, yeah, wasn't my buisiness, but I was playing a cynical lil'bugger at the time...and boy, was that making me mad. He was forcing her to love him, playing upon their former friendship. Suffice to say, he was driven away, and my rogue managed to convince her that someone who makes up a story like that isn't too nice a person. No, I wasn't attempting a romance...I have my characters refrain from romance, most of th'time. I find that ISRP romances that don't end with one member getting horribly killed tend to be like the back of most high-school notebooks:
"I (heart) "X"." Now, replace X with any name, then put several of those comments around the back, with all but one scribbled out with pen. Taa-daa. Except one girl, a drow. She actually...delayed being married, because her partner died. A long time ago. That...instantly restored my faith in Wizards, only to have it crashed by some moron chopping up trees and attempting a roomkill.
Anyway, yes, this is a rant. But...I can't really list this, can I? And this is supposed to be an outlet for bitterness, right? Er...right.
Stayed up all night on the computer with a brick on his desk, and fightin' blood in his veins,
-Dante
Jardel> In the land of the insane, madmen are quite plain, and men of sanity are obviously raging lunatics. Or something. I guess after seeing so many beautiful women, the plain-featured one is a bit rarer...and since beauty is usually rare, homliness becomes beauty. Or something.
Fenmarel> Welcome!
Kami> You too, welcome! And...try Coke. It has sugary goodness.
134.All vampires are either angsty, guilty, and whiny...obsessed with their own drama and attempts to repent.
134.I Those who aren't angsty are as deadly, beautiful, and evil as they come.
135. Never, ever expect a Vampire to...you know..follow the rules of Vampire flaws. All ISRP breed vampires are undead gods. Duh.
136. Samora, get back in that ******* TV before I get another brick. You heard me, get the hell back in. I'm not afraid to throw another, you well-dwelling brat. (( Okay, not relevant, but I saw it again in hopes of overexposure working. God, I hate flies now. ))
136's true form. All Vampires, despite the slight handicap of being dead, and having no circulation, can perfectly seduce.
137. Most newbies type one one-liner, then spend the rest of the RPing time correcting the typos and trying to pick up the opposite sex.
138. Most newbies will ignore said opposite sex's mate when (s)he arrives, and glares/questions/threatens the suitor.
139. Either that, or offer you a "fight to the death" over the object of their adoration. Usually only applies to males.
140. If you're remotely divine or profane in bloodlines, everything must contrast. Your swords have to be in twin sets, one black/red, the other white/blue. You need to have batwings, dove wings, or one of each. Oh, and you need a "bad side" that you push away (read: For roughly five seconds after either aprty declares that they love the other party.) romantic possibilities.
141* Nobody will really think of you well after you die if your spirit comes back and says "you have to love me, it's the only way I'll be ressurected". I mean, damn.
142. Threatening to "jump off" of anything will not gain pity-dates, nor pity, from me. Jump off the Emporium walls, see if I care. Hell, I'll even push you off, then loot your corpse if possible.
--------------
Notes:
*: I saw this, once. "In order for me to come back, you need to say something, but you have to mean it, ok?"
Girl: "Oh...okay..."
:"You have to say that you love me."
Me: "...time t'ruin things. Hi-ho, Silver!"
Yeah, yeah, wasn't my buisiness, but I was playing a cynical lil'bugger at the time...and boy, was that making me mad. He was forcing her to love him, playing upon their former friendship. Suffice to say, he was driven away, and my rogue managed to convince her that someone who makes up a story like that isn't too nice a person. No, I wasn't attempting a romance...I have my characters refrain from romance, most of th'time. I find that ISRP romances that don't end with one member getting horribly killed tend to be like the back of most high-school notebooks:
"I (heart) "X"." Now, replace X with any name, then put several of those comments around the back, with all but one scribbled out with pen. Taa-daa. Except one girl, a drow. She actually...delayed being married, because her partner died. A long time ago. That...instantly restored my faith in Wizards, only to have it crashed by some moron chopping up trees and attempting a roomkill.
Anyway, yes, this is a rant. But...I can't really list this, can I? And this is supposed to be an outlet for bitterness, right? Er...right.
Stayed up all night on the computer with a brick on his desk, and fightin' blood in his veins,
-Dante
T
Tharivious_Meliamne
Guest
Well, I feel like writing more, so here's a few more for the list:
142. No matter what, if a new player's character falls for one of your character's significant others, it will take at least 2 months for them to figure out that the person is involved with another character, or after at least 5 challenges to the death, whichever comes first.
143. Vampires always drink alcohol in a bar right after biting a person. They say it puts an extra bite to their meal.
144. Even if you sever a vampire's head, burn their body, and scatter their ashes, they will be back tomorrow, twice as powerful and ticked off.
145. The big bad guy will always come back at least five times, if not, he was just an underling of a more powerful villain who'll be visiting Tuesday at 9 pm the week after his last underling dies.
146. If a mega-villain has sent at least five underlings after you, he will die as soon as the 14 year old kid in peasant's clothes shows up and throws a peanut at him. He will not be beaten by anyone other than a level 1 commoner.
147. If your character has a short temper about something, someone will set them off, and when they do, at least once their player will assume that you as a player are just as irate as your character is.
147a. If such a character that has earned a character's enmity dies and their player still believes that you hate them, there is a 50% chance that your character will soon be visited upon by a ghost of the dead character. This will inevitably be ended by the other player asking if you had a problem with them and you saying no, which has an effect equal to that of a True Resurrection spell on their character.
147b. Such resurrected characters will either insist on becoming your character's best friend or vanish without a trace within 2 weeks.
148. No matter how noisy a tavern or marketplace is, at least half of the people in the room will be able to hear every word you say, even if you are across the room and the eavesdropper is deaf and blind.
149. There is no limit as to how many characters can fit at a table in the tavern. There are unlimited chairs and the tables expand to accomodate the increased numbers. This is a supernatural ability. [Wait.... Damn stat writing habits....]
150. Logic is just a word with 5 letters and no meaning when fighting. Even if that weretiger is 7½ feet tall and weighs several hundred pounds, the 5 foot tall, 115 pound teenager can block his attack effortlessly with his staff/spear/sword and attack immediately after with the same weapon.
142. No matter what, if a new player's character falls for one of your character's significant others, it will take at least 2 months for them to figure out that the person is involved with another character, or after at least 5 challenges to the death, whichever comes first.
143. Vampires always drink alcohol in a bar right after biting a person. They say it puts an extra bite to their meal.
144. Even if you sever a vampire's head, burn their body, and scatter their ashes, they will be back tomorrow, twice as powerful and ticked off.
145. The big bad guy will always come back at least five times, if not, he was just an underling of a more powerful villain who'll be visiting Tuesday at 9 pm the week after his last underling dies.
146. If a mega-villain has sent at least five underlings after you, he will die as soon as the 14 year old kid in peasant's clothes shows up and throws a peanut at him. He will not be beaten by anyone other than a level 1 commoner.
147. If your character has a short temper about something, someone will set them off, and when they do, at least once their player will assume that you as a player are just as irate as your character is.
147a. If such a character that has earned a character's enmity dies and their player still believes that you hate them, there is a 50% chance that your character will soon be visited upon by a ghost of the dead character. This will inevitably be ended by the other player asking if you had a problem with them and you saying no, which has an effect equal to that of a True Resurrection spell on their character.
147b. Such resurrected characters will either insist on becoming your character's best friend or vanish without a trace within 2 weeks.
148. No matter how noisy a tavern or marketplace is, at least half of the people in the room will be able to hear every word you say, even if you are across the room and the eavesdropper is deaf and blind.
149. There is no limit as to how many characters can fit at a table in the tavern. There are unlimited chairs and the tables expand to accomodate the increased numbers. This is a supernatural ability. [Wait.... Damn stat writing habits....]
150. Logic is just a word with 5 letters and no meaning when fighting. Even if that weretiger is 7½ feet tall and weighs several hundred pounds, the 5 foot tall, 115 pound teenager can block his attack effortlessly with his staff/spear/sword and attack immediately after with the same weapon.
*acks at Tharvious and changed her number. lol*
152. (Because thar made a second 142
) If a character is played realistically in prejudices and reactions there is a high chance that your character's partner will pull a stunt which goes against your character's nature. Then wonder why there's a problem.
I'll tell you a story...
A cat-woman lost from her homeland fell in love with the mage that used his magic to take a form similar to hers. (Gimme a break, she was my first character and he did stay by her through many things. He wasn't all that experienced at the time as a player either.) Being a creature of some heightened senses, she learnt to know him by sound and scent as well as sight.
Then she was attacked and in saving her life, he forfeited his own, but her love turned him into some solar-celestial (don't ask me how, he just sprung it on me). The old body dead, the solar was completely remade: new body, new look (duh). New body? -> new voice, new scent...
She rejected him. She didn't know him, he was a stranger. Her mate had died.
When I wouldn't change the instincts of my character, that player relented and found a way to restore the old body. (heheheh)
A long time later she finally agreed to marry him. (And I do mean a long time.. I can't remember how long, but it was at least months. I won't be prideful and say a year until I check the dates of drawings I did.) But real life got in the way, the player lost his internet, her mate went missing while she was away on a tribal quest. She turned back into a solitary cat rather than take another.
When I got sick of male characters trying to get too close, I turned her pretty feral.
Ok, and lost patience with them.
She never did take another...
Chitara
152. (Because thar made a second 142
) If a character is played realistically in prejudices and reactions there is a high chance that your character's partner will pull a stunt which goes against your character's nature. Then wonder why there's a problem. I'll tell you a story...
A cat-woman lost from her homeland fell in love with the mage that used his magic to take a form similar to hers. (Gimme a break, she was my first character and he did stay by her through many things. He wasn't all that experienced at the time as a player either.
) Being a creature of some heightened senses, she learnt to know him by sound and scent as well as sight.Then she was attacked and in saving her life, he forfeited his own, but her love turned him into some solar-celestial (don't ask me how, he just sprung it on me). The old body dead, the solar was completely remade: new body, new look (duh). New body? -> new voice, new scent...
She rejected him. She didn't know him, he was a stranger. Her mate had died.
When I wouldn't change the instincts of my character, that player relented and found a way to restore the old body. (heheheh)
A long time later she finally agreed to marry him. (And I do mean a long time.. I can't remember how long, but it was at least months. I won't be prideful and say a year until I check the dates of drawings I did.) But real life got in the way, the player lost his internet, her mate went missing while she was away on a tribal quest. She turned back into a solitary cat rather than take another.
When I got sick of male characters trying to get too close, I turned her pretty feral.
Ok, and lost patience with them.She never did take another...
Chitara
