I've been playing RPGs for years now, and I've played quite a few. Shadowrun, D&D, Spycraft and such. I've probably spent thousands of dollars in total on all of them and do like to keep up with all the latest products. However, I have a secret I've kept from my players, that being I'm too ashamed to role-play in-person. I'm currently running an FR campaign, yet I'm doing so through OpenRPG. I justify this because one of my players lives in a different state. However, just recently he decided to move here and become my roommate. When everyone was thrilled about actually running it in-person, I vehemently disagreed, and said I would never DM a game if it wasn't online.
It seems ridiculous even to me, but the final straw was seeing the recent GenCon excursion and all the fun people had. I'd prefer to get to go to GenCon one day and not just sit in the corner and watch others because I'm too ashamed to join in. What I boggle at is how people from all walks of life, both young and old, have no problems role-playing. Even the most shy and reclusive people I've seen have no problems with it. I cannot understand how people can play certain characters and not feel stupid or foolish. One reason I've heard is that it's in the company of friends. Well that doesn't hold at GenCon, and I'd prefer not to make a fool of myself even if it is in front of my friends. Yet I seem to be the only person I've known in my entire life who really has a problem with this.
Don't get me wrong, I think in-person gaming is defintely superior to online. It's such a hassle online, and the only reason I know of why people play online is because they can't find a group to play with in their current location. There are <i>tons</i> of people here who want to join in on a game, but everytime I mention it's online they lose all interest. I feel like I'm cheating myself and my players. Plus, I think of story hours I've enjoyed like Sep's, Sagiro's, or Wulf's, and I want to have that much fun too, but then it comes down to how I feel like a complete moron.
So my question is this: How can you not feel like a complete and utter fool when role-playing? I respect and envy people who can do so without any problems, which seems to be everyone except myself, and which makes it even worse. I mean, you have to admit that sometimes it can be a little far-fetched or ridiculous, so how can you possibly keep a straight face through that? When I think of running a serious storyline like in some of the story hours, I can't imagine running it anywhere except online. I really, <i>really</i> want to be able to do this, to play the game like it's supposed to be played, but the shame is almost overwhelming. Does anyone have any good advice?
