I think you are setting just a little bit too high an expectation. There are many ways to play the game. There really isn't a "right" way or a "wrong" way to play so long as you are having fun!
If you aren't comfortable going through the motions of acting out each NPC, then don't. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
How do I not feel like an utter fool? Actually, I think that is a good question, let me tell you why. At one point in my life, I was deadly afraid to act "in character". I could sit down and create a wonderfully detailed background for a character. I could describe personality traits and mannerisms and clothing and anything else. But, when it came down to "playing the character" I would freak out. Why? It just seemed to embarass me. I'm not entirely sure why. Heh, kind of sounds like you to some degree.
However, I have some suspicions as to why I would freak out. So, let me tell you my story. It's kind of long, but maybe it will help you if you don't think you are entirely alone. You see, when I first started playing, I was always the default GM. My friends and I started playing when we were around 10 years old. Out of all my friends, I read the fastest. So, whenever we would play any new game, I was always the one that would read the rules and explain how to play. It kind of makes for a nice ego boost. I liked DnD! Lots of stuff to read. Wonderful ways to keep my imagination active. I would devour Sci-Fi and Fantasy books when I wasn't reading my game books. I developed lots of thoughts on how the "right" way to play a character would be. So, if I couldn't rattle off the personality exactly as I imagined it, I must be doing something wrong ... right? That made it hard for me to play a variety of NPC's. Sometimes, it even made it uncomfortable to play.
Funny thing, my friends that were less hung up on all of that always seemed to have a much more fun time playing than I did. They didn't ready as many books. They didn't obsess over the rules. They didn't seem to have this fixation with "playing the character right".
It didn't get any easier for me until my best friend and I started playing in a game run by someone we had never met with a bunch of people we had never met. Imagine 2 18-year olds going to a stranger's house where there were 6 other strangers to play DnD. Even weirder, we were the youngest there by several years. But, these people were having fun. My friend was having fun. I was hung up on the thought that I wasn't playing "correctly". Finally, my character (1st Ed Elvish Druid/Ranger) died. The group asked me if they should raise him. I asked if there was a Druid in town. The DM said yes. I told the group to have me reincarnated. Everyone was flabbergasted! They liked the character. (Huh, but I'm playing wrong. Why do they like the character?) The DM made sure I understood that I might not come back as an Elf. I figured that a Druid would want to be reincarnated. I told the DM that I would leave it up to him. The next session, he had a new character statted out for me. A human Druid/Ranger with a history of his own and the shared memories of an Elvish Druid/Ranger. I read through the history a little bit, decided on some personality traits and started creating a persona for him on the fly.
I had a blast!
I gave up a lot of control and ended up with a character that I had not planned on. I didn't have time to obsess on whether his character was consistent and well-thought out. And, since I didn't even see the character sheet until 5 minutes before we played, I didn't feel like anyone would criticize me for playing him "wrong". I made up the personality traits that I needed on the fly and made sure I remembered them for the future. We all had fun and the other players liked my "new" character even better than the old one. A few times in the game one of the characters would have a soliloquy. Sometimes there would be some gruff in-character voices. The DM sometimes broke out a pre-written script for one of the NPC's. He would read it aloud, we would all listen and tell him what our characters would say or do. Lot's of times we would good naturedly rib each other for silly combat decisions or compliment the person that would have an "in-character" moment. In short, we were enjoying ourselves.
Eventually, the DM had to transfer out of state and the game kind of broke up. A few months later, one of the players called me to see if I would play in a game of Champions. He had some players that he thought needed help to get into the Role-Playing. I was ... honored. After all, I didn't think I was all that good compared to the other players in the group. A few years later, the DM was back in town for the wedding of a mutual friend. He told me he wished I was playing in his current game because nobody else could play a Druid/Ranger worth a darn. I laughed, and thanked him for the compliment.
I have played in a few other games. In fact, I am playing in one right now. I have also run some games. Some well, some not so well. But, my DM'ing has definitely gotten better over the years. I have loosened up a bit and enjoy a little "in-character personification" sometimes.
How do I do it without feeling foolish? By loosening up and enjoying it. Oh, and I "cheat". A lot actually. Now, some people wouldn't say that I cheat. But, I still have that little imp on my shoulders that sometimes tries to tell me that if I am not acting the part believably, I am not playing the game "right". [Down Evil Imp! I'm having fun, that's the important thing!] So, to placate my Imp, I say I cheat.
How do I cheat? In the game that I play in, I play a Bard. I can usually tell you what my Bard is wearing. I can tell you his personality traits. I can describe his mannerisms, etc. But, I (as in me, the player) can barely carry a tune if you put it in a basket. I am not good at rhyming, or really at poetry. However, I am reasonably competent at written descriptions. That game has a web board that we all use. When we are in town, I will put together a "performance" at the local tavern, or wherever I happen to be. I can't write a song, but I can describe what the subject matter would be and how it would probably sound. It is enough that the other players can read it and learn more about my character. I can wing enough of the personality that I can describe how my character would stand, or sit, or address the local VIP's. Even though I don't like to stand up and "act" through the entire scene. Everyone seems to enjoy it and they seem to think I portray a Bard well enough.
For the game I run, I _try_ to make the notable NPC's unique. toward that end, I have identified one trait that I use for only that character. Coupled with my descriptions, I can reasonably portray each character. Do I feel silly? Yes, sometimes I do. If it bothers me too much that night, I fall back on descriptions alone. It is the type of thing that I am working on slowly, at my own comfort level. The players were laughing their butts off the first time they met the chief archivist, who is old and toothless and smacks his lips a lot. I actually spoke in a high voice and smacked my lips the first time they met him. I was a bit embarassed, but my players [friends] didn't care. They liked the character. I haven't done the lip smacking since the first time they met him, but they remember him. The local lord always has a sword, or a goblet in his hand. Whenever the characters talk to him, I actually mime holding one or the other. That doesn't seem as silly to me and if somebody commented on it, I could always drop my hand to my side. And you know what, my players seem to honestly enjoy my game! One of them is getting ready to go off to college and he actually thought about staying in town for the game. I will miss him, he is a good friend. But, to consider staying in town, for what he wants to study, would not be a good decision. The fact that he _thought_ about staying, for my game, is a tremendous compliment. And it makes those moments of near embarassment worth it.
I didn't really intend this post to be so long. But, I don't want you to feel like you are entirely alone in your fears. If you _really_ want to start feeling comfortable running a face-to-face game, then do it. It will probably take a little bravery on your part. If you are comfortable admitting your fears, talk to your friends and tell them how you feel. Or, keep posting here. The EN World community is very supportive. For other thoughts, consider the following:
- Play in a one-shot game. Preferably with pre-made characters. Take that character and try to make them believable for that one night. You say you are amazed at the number of people at Gen Con that can RP in front of strangers. Actually, that makes it easier. You might not ever see those people again!
- Use your strengths. If you have been doing online play, I am guessing that you are good at writing out description. You might also be good at third-party interaction. As Dragonblade says above, there is nothing wrong in describing the King in third person. If there is going to be a stirring NPC speech, write it out ahead of time and read it aloud. Or ask for a player to volunteer and read it.
- If you want to portary a character more "realistically", choose a single trait and stick with it. As I said, the local Lord in my game is always carrying a sword, or a goblet. I mime that, or I pick up my glass and hold it imperiously while they are talking to him. I once had a Shadow Dragon address the entire party in a high pitched voice using lots of oooo's (Whoooo are youoooo?) It freaked them out! As you get more comfortable, add a few more bits to the character for flavor. Another NPC is very gruff. The group sometimes takes items to him to be evaluated. He has been known to take a sword and start beating on a shield because he thought it might be magical. He also took a masterwork axe, hit a nearby oak table with it as hard as he could and commented on the quality of the blade. He also uses a large axe as his walking stick. The players love him, but the characters as a little intimidated by him.
- go to
http://www.roleplayingtips.com and look through the archives for tips on portraying NPC's. If you like what is there, subscribe to the newsletter.
- If you play face-to-face, realize that you will probably have a lot of chit-chat around the table. That stuff doesn't get put into the Story Hours. But, it also helps break up the pressure you might feel as the DM. (On the other hand, it is sometimes a bit annoying since you might be trying to mold a scene when somebody makes a comment that everyone laughs at. Take those in stride as well.)
- Don't ostracize yourself for your fear. You really aren't as alone as you seem to think you are.
- Relax and have fun. This is a game and you can't do it "wrong", unless you aren't having fun. When you are playing with your friends, you are all creating a shared fantasy reality. Everyone playing will find their own comfort level and it probably won't be the same for every person in the group. This is normal.
Anyway, I hope something in this post helps you out. For those of you that actually read the whole thing ... thanks! I hope there was something of value in there for you too.
