The Shame of Role-Playing

[Buttercup]

So my question is this: How can you not feel like a complete and utter fool when role-playing?

Do actors feel like complete and utter fools on stage? Do storytellers feel like that when they entertain an audience? No in both cases. D&D is a combination of acting and collaborative storytelling. Neither of those things is deserving of shame.

I have a question, Metus. Are you able to get up in front of a crowd and give a speech? Because I wonder if your discomfort is related to stage fright.

 

[Ds Da Man]

Bah.....Sometime in your life you'll have to loosen up and say screw it. Most people really aren't going to care what you do, and true friends won't give a darn regardless.

 

[BiggusGeekus]

Re: Re: The Shame of Role-Playing

I have a question, Metus. Are you able to get up in front of a crowd and give a speech? Because I wonder if your discomfort is related to stage fright.

I used to act in college and I don't mind being the center of attention*. But I certainly know where Metus is coming from. Sometimes it feels a little weird pretending to be someone I'm not. I addressed the problem by playing characters that I could relate to easily and weren't "weird" (a highly relative term).

-BG

* By which I mean, when I am the center of attention and people are saying "My God, Biggus, you are the manliest of men!", but not when I am the center of attention and people are saying, "Biggus, you're a dimwit, now clean off the goat and try to find a more acceptable place to repair the toaster."

 

[MarauderX]

I don't feel foolish, but then I almost never do the goofy Scottish accent or make stirring speeches in-character.

But... that's why I exist! As a player with one group, other players often think I have rehearsed a speech or some other jargon when it just spills from my mouth and at first they were unsure how to take it. After all IMO it is very easy to be the paranoid sarcastic player and hard to be the speech making goofball that players want as a team player PC. And as a DM I find you only need one of those speeches every session or so to really get the blood moving in the players veins. I find that it helps so much more when you are in person, as you can convey much emotion and drama with simple actions. There tends to be less of a communication breakdown than online games IMO, and if something is misunderstood in a situation, whether it's a plot-line or drawing how a room looks in 3D, I can always just sketch it out right then and there.

I say go for the in-person just once with a new campaign. If you don't like it you can trash it and it won't interfer with your online game setup.

 

[Sixchan]

Well for me, the Goofy Scottish accent comes with being a Goofy Scotsman.

As to why I'm comfortable roleplaying, my dad introduced me to gaming when I was 8, and I've been hooked ever since. There's no sense in being embarrased about a life-long hobby. I'll freely talk about it to people I've just met if it comes up in conversation.

Mind you, I'm pretty comfortable making speeches in public and acting on stage, as well as telling outrageous lies and getting people to believe them. Roleplaying comes naturally.

 

[Aaron L]

I'd be much more embarrassed by screaming at or cheering at a televised sporting event. ( or seeing others do so)

Point is, "normal" people do things much more deserving of embarassment, and they do it whithout shame, and it is considered standard behavior.

 

[Old One]

A couple of questions...

Metus,

It's a bummer that it is so difficult for you to make face-2-face work...let me ask a couple of questions:

1) You mentioned "Image" in one of the posts above. Are there family, work or peer pressures that are increasing your anxiety about gaming "in-person"? IE...non-gaming friends, family members or co-workers say things like "Gaming is for geeks" or "I used to game, when I was in 7th grade".

The reason I ask is that I am somewhat of a "closet" gamer - I have my gaming life and my regular, professional life and the two don't mix much. Sometimes fear of what non-gamers will say or how they will percieve us can be fairly powerful.

2) How comfortable are you speaking in front of groups (of any size 3-300) on any topic? Fear of public speaking (and let's face it...DMing in person is public speaking) outranks or ties fear of death in most surveys.

If the thought of speaking in front of a group, no matter how small, causes you to break out in a cold sweat...I stongly suggest "Toastmaster's International". I have been a member for many years and have seen the most painfully shy public speakers overcome their fears and turn into decent, if not great, ones. Check their link http://www.toastmasters.org/.

In my experience, the only way to conquer fears is to face them head on...good luck!

~ Old One

 

[Umbran]

How do you avoid feeling foolish? Try a bit of community theatre first. Or think of it as acting rather than as role playing. Because, especially as DM, there's very little difference between the role-play and improvisational acting.

Personally, I don't hink you should try to avoid feeling foolish. I say you should embrace it. It won't kill you, really. The world would be a lot better off if people learned to deal with feeling foolish rather than denying and avoiding it.

So, reach out to that foolishness. Ham it up! Be goofy! You won't die.

 

[Wombat]

I'm an old school Geek who stepped into rpgs with both feet, not realizing until after the fact how people viewed me, the game, and the like.

I mean, I got my copy of D&D when the UPS man showed up at my house just before I was set to head out on a Boy Scout campout. This being 1976 people were talking about CB-radio, Journey and the like and here I was trying to explain hit points, ochre jellies, and spell levels.

Been there ever since, albeit most of the time sans D&D; Ars Magica has been my big game, but there has always been some game in my life.

One way I found to get over initial shyness, etc., was to start small ... literally. I began by telling stories to children, kindergarten age, first one on one, then small groups, then eventually classrooms. This remains a volunteer gig for me. Kids make ALL stories interactive -- did you know that Old MacDonald had an octopus on his farm? I can't even begin to write out the sound it made...

Above all, however, do what feels comfortable for you. This is a hobby, a passtime, one of those little extras that makes life worth living. As such you shouldn't do something that's going to make you feel uncomfortable.

I find face-to-face gaming much more satisfying, but this does not mean it is everyone's gig.

Do what feels right, not what you think other people expect you to do.

 

[Ashtal]

I've always found that my RPing online has, in general, been of a higher calibur than face-to-face. You can tell the story more seriously, and in more depth, than I find comfortable doing in a regular set-up.

That said, my face-to-face games are generally more light-hearted, more plain fun. We laugh a lot, we don't do voices, we sometimes try to speak in character. I find we tend to gloss over the details unless it's critical.

My suggestion, if it hasn't been made already, is to try your first face-to-face game as a player, and not a GM. Being nervous and a GM on top of all it may be too much, but trying it as a player may give you enough freedom to try face-to-face, and learn to overcome your fear.