The Shame of Role-Playing

[Metus]

Thanks for the replies thus far, everyone.

Could it be a bigger issue than just feeling foolish while RPing? I know that for a very long time, I hated looking stupid at all, and would avoid doing anything where I thought someone would laugh at me. RPing with anyone I didn't completely trust would have crushed me then. That was also when I did my gaming online. Could your expierences be similar?

Yeah, all my friends know I'm pretty uptight about my image and how I look to society. Still, role-playing seems like something <i>everyone</i> should be able to do.

I'd also venture a guess that you're "hiding a secret" by only running games online. Let's face it: the world at large doesn't have the greatest opinion of RPGs. If it did, we wouldn't see posts titled "here we go again" (or something of the like) every time D&D gets mentioned in the same sentence as a crime. Perhaps you fear that by actually gaming in person, your "secret" could leak and others outside your group would be able to put a face to your name and reputation as a "gamer". Gaming online provides you with the security of total anonymity in this respect.

While I am an insecure person, I know that the rest of the people I play with wouldn't make a deal about it or even tell anyone I'd be worried about knowing.

I have had a few experiences playing face-to-face. When I was a player I was very uncomfortable and felt very out of place. When I was a GM, and was GMing for a few old friends, I came off as so stone-faced and dry that it was no wonder they were turned off from RPGs.

 

[boxstop7]

originally posted by Metus
While I am an insecure person, I know that the rest of the people I play with wouldn't make a deal about it or even tell anyone I'd be worried about knowing.

Maybe it might be worth your while to explore that insecurity? If your pals wouldn't make a big deal out of it, and the 'threat' of ridicule seems minimal, that leads me to believe you alone are holding yourself back. Do you ever just act goofy with friends in non-RPG situations?

~Box

 

[Metus]

Do you ever just act goofy with friends in non-RPG situations?

To a degree. But in my mind, role-playing takes it to a whole other level. Then again, in my mind the ideal role-playing group would have Robert DeNiro and Meryl Streep and others, because I assumed it was more acting then anything else. It's like what Baraendur mentioned. I assumed that lots of people were doing the 'goofy Scottish accent' and being totally serious about it.

 

[boxstop7]

Originally posted by Metus
I assumed that lots of people were doing the 'goofy Scottish accent' and being totally serious about it.

Some people are totally serious about it. Lots aren't. It doesn't need to be serious, man. If your role-playing pals are really serious, you'll probably want to stick to online gaming with those folks. But if your 'goof-off' friends are also your role-playing friends, just take that goofiness and inject it into your games together. IMO, what makes role-playing fun is not the capacity to put forth a Tony-winning performance. It's the ability to have fun with my friends while pretending to be someone else for a few hours.

Edit: p.s...DeNiro and Streep? Wow. Sounds to me like you might have some unrealistic expectations sprinkled in there. To me, it sounds like you're describing LARPs more than table-tope gaming. I've never played in a group that took character performances to that level. We did silly voices in one group once, but that was it. And half the fun was trying to come up with a voice that fit the character and made ther other guys chuckle.

 

[Jens]

Yeah, all my friends know I'm pretty uptight about my image and how I look to society. Still, role-playing seems like something <i>everyone</i> should be able to do.

While I am an insecure person, I know that the rest of the people I play with wouldn't make a deal about it or even tell anyone I'd be worried about knowing.

I have had a few experiences playing face-to-face. When I was a player I was very uncomfortable and felt very out of place. When I was a GM, and was GMing for a few old friends, I came off as so stone-faced and dry that it was no wonder they were turned off from RPGs.

Hmm... I think I can relate to this. How about thinking of roleplaying as a time to get out of the square image? I know that I myself can seem 'pretty uptight' (less so now than previously, I think...) but I really enjoy playing silly/stupid characters. Maybe you would too? If you can get to play in a dungeoncrawl as someone suggested above, how about playing a character who typically says (yells) things like "Krusk Smash!!", "Krusk Not Afraid!! Krusk Smash!!" and "Krusk Not Like!! Lrusk Smash!!"? It can be a lot of fun, and everyone will *expect* you to look a little foolish anyway. Using third person may help too, hadn't actually thought about that. Anyway, my advice is just to let go and don't even try to keep a straight face. It is ok to let go

 

[Dragonblade]

I have played with the serious in-character people and the others who just like to goof around at the table and make fun of each other when we do silly voices and stuff. We have a blast that way! But I could see how it could be uncomfortable for some.

I would recommend third person gaming for a while instead of first person.

For example, instead of doing the method acting and speaking in first person, just refer to the NPCs by who they are.

1st person: "I, King Jerrod, am seeking a party of brave heroes! [said while DM stands up and points at the group with a dramatic flourish] will you be those heroes?"

3rd person: "The king stands up and ask you whether you are the heroes he seeks. What do your characters say?" [said while DM munches on Cheetos and leans back in his chair]

As you can see 3rd person is a lot easier to play for those who feel uncomfortable doing voices or acting stuff out. Just describe everything like a scene out of a novel or read it like a narrative. Don't worry about the in-character stuff. That will all come later once you get comfortable.

Dungeon crawls and site-based adventures work well with 3rd person style. Lots of description and monster encounters. Stay away from the town stuff until you feel more comfortable.

 

[Brother Shatterstone]

You don't need to see a shrink like someone else suggested... Back before the Internet I use to have the same issues. I've never taken acting or drama classes in high school nor do I have to do it now. Must importantly is the fact that you DON'T need to. Remember the one thing that all drives us... We do this for FUN, not cause we can't hack in Hollywood.

You have friends in that online campaign and at least one you have really close friendly relationship, as I can't see someone moving across a state or two to be roommates on a whim. Obviously I don’t know if your FR campaign would work with you not being the DM so don’t use it. Instead let one of your other friend’s draw up a hack and slash as suggested above. Play a straight fighter, as they might be the simplest to role-play. After the first module is finished judge again how you feel. Maybe you fill like you can open up, if not take the same fighter and add the fact that he’s stoic or brooding and a simple node of a head might be all that is said. Maybe after another game he tells has friends that his young wife was killed in a raid by bugbears and that the murderous thieves got away…

Anyhow, I hope that helps or at least it gives you some inclination how to blossom as it would be.

Oh yeah and I forgot to finish... I had this issue too, but there was no Internet and the only way out of my shell was to play "hack and slash" with the stoic fighter.

 

[Mark Chance]

So my question is this: How can you not feel like a complete and utter fool when role-playing?

Back when I was involved in DMing and playing at conventions, the secret to my success was pre-game preparation. IOW, two black Russians at the bar about 15 minutes before go time.

 

[Tsyr]

Well, first, I would suggest doing some stage acting through a commuity theater program or something... Not for the experience at acting out a part, that won't help at all... But once you get up on stage for real, doing it among a handful of friends is NOTHING.

On a more serious note, like someone else said... It's not method acting. Different people take it to different levels, but it's all just in good fun... Even the guy who does his dwarf with a heavy scottish accent at our table breaks character left and right, cracking jokes and laughing and telling stories, you name it.

 

[MEG Hal]

I enjoy roleplaying and I do not feel embarassed as we are playing if it is just us (the group). You are all together and it is a fun time for a group of people-embrace it.
Now saying that...
I do tell people I am dating I make games and play some but never when we play, do not want as knock at the door, just cam over to see what you boys are doing .
I do not like when the player group is out in public and one of us is loud enough so a group of other people hear our exploits 3 tables over. I do not want to hear about their haircut why would they want to heat about my rogue?

I am starting to see my first gamer and we will see how this progresses, it is different when you can explain a scenario rather then just state we killed stuff and I made money today dear . If all goes well maybe one day she will join the group, we are all men and a female would be a good addition (IMHO).

So I love to play and am not ashamed/embarrased when we do (in private, or at a con etc..) I never have enjoyed forcing others to listen to my (mis)adventures so try and keep that quiet at the table when we are eating.

I feel roleplaying in person is great and that closeness can never be replaced, I love it and when I do not have a local game, I miss it.

So in conclusion I think you should start trying it and see what you think, I think you will end up enjoying it, we play a loose game but when combat comes we get all serious....kinda .