B/X Known World
When you're talking about something like arachnophobia there is no difference between scaring the players and crossing their boundaries.You keep conflating the idea of scaring players, and crossing their boundaries.
Because scared means a thing. Scared doesn't mean thrilled. It doesn't mean excited. Scared is the thing you are when you think you're about to die. Scared is the thing you are when you think someone you care about is going to die. Scared is that thing that happens to your body when someone points a gun at your face. Scared gets people running for their lives. Scared gets people hiding under tables. Scared causes the fight or flight response to kick in. Scared is not something you evoke at the gaming table. So when someone says they're out to scare their players, they are either a monster or they are using the word spectacularly, and potentially dangerously, wrong. I suspect some people in this discussion are simply using the word scared when they mean thrilled, excited, or some other lesser variation. It may be pedantic, but words have meaning. And that meaning actually matters.As if nothing that could scare players, is acceptable to their boundaries (which are things they draw themselves as adults whose agency is to be respected) while playing a horror game.
It matters because if some novice GM reads the sentence "horror GMs should try to scare their players" and they understand 'scare' to mean thrill and excite, that's fine. No problem. That's the goal of horror gaming, to thrill and excite. But if they read that bit of advice and actually try to...you, know...scare their players...that's incredibly, incredibly bad. And potentially dangerous. For all involved.
Sorry, but no. Trigger does not mean "I don't like it." Trigger means a particular thing that will trigger a mental health episode. So saying something is a personal trigger and then saying you'd be fine with it popping up in game is contradictory. That's like saying you're fine with a game session ending with you being talked down off a roof and being involuntarily admitted to the psych ward. Yes, I get that the meaning of words can and does drift over time, and that now trigger is used for anything that we don't like. But it's belittling to people with actual mental health problems. Likewise using OCD to mean more organized than most. You don't have OCD, you're organized. If you had OCD you'd wash your hands 76 times in a row before being able to stop. Again, sorry. Pet peeve.If I tell you that child abuse scares me (which is one of my personal triggers) but that I don't mind you using it because we're agreeing to play the kind of game where it could come up, what would be the problem with you using it to scare me? and its not like giving you that consent removes the fear factor from it?