WayneLigon
Adventurer
The last two days have been weird. We have a remote site about two hours away that is setting up a point of sale system so they can more accurately track reservations for campsites in a state park the Commission oversees. 'Accurately' to be read as 'we suspect some fiscal irregularities'. Anyway, so we get this software stuff and I have to go down there with them and install it.
A couple weeks before, we get the receipt printer. I try everything to install this little beast on my PC to test it, to no avail. Finally I spend a combined five+ hours on the phone with Epson's advanced support guy as we go over everything once more with a fine-toothed comb to be told at the end 'I guess your printer just doesn't work; send it back'. We do so. The new printer works perfectly after me fooling with it for less than five minutes. Good news for last Friday.
Finally yesterday comes and we go down there, only to find that my boss has not also brought the credit card reader or the software for the point of sale integration. As it turns out, this is a good thing. We essentially waste a trip, encounter rain that is like a wall of white water a couple times and see more than four wrecks on the interstate coming back up to Montgomery, all caused by the tropical storm remnants.
So we go down there today, again leaving at 7am. I start the ICVerify setup process and quickly run into many walls, some of them earlier than I originally think.
I conference call with the bank rep and the ICVerify guy. We go through steps. We find out that the earlier information given us by the bank person is wrong wrong wrong and if we'd somehow gone through with this normally, nothing would have ever worked anyway. ICVerify guy walks me through the intricate set-up, and I feel thankful as he points out some things that are not explained well at all in the manual. It must be the same pseudo-good feeling when the cow gets to the end of the ramp and the guy with the sledgehammer is out on coffee break.
We test the thing with their test number and date and amount. I read the guy what the result is, and I am reassured that it's supposed to say this thing and that he's seen the 'charge' come through on his end and that everything is nicey-nice. I hang up and go try a normal card swipe with my own card.
Nothing happens. Error.
I call [POS software we're installing] support line. I go through the steps and we determine that, hey, this other component of ICverify must be started first and must always run in the background. Nice of ICverify to tell me this. So we do this thing. Nothing. CM support guy says this is an ICverify problem and he can't help me any further.
I call ICverify. The guy I get this time is just this short of rude to me but the call is brief. We uninstall and reinstall the software. Yes, the modem works. Yes, other things work. Oh, you have to call your POS provider (The bank? says I, ignorant of such matters.Yes, the bank, I am assured.) and tell them they must conference with ICverify Second-Tier Integration Support which handles connects to third-party software. I call the bank. I wait on hold for 20 minutes while they try to figure out what's what. I get on the phone with the second-tier person who promptly tells me that we need a developer's contract on file with them before she'll even talk to me.
We go round and round but she doesn't budge. I hang up and call [POS software we're installing] support again who says, yes, she knows they're (ICVerify) idiots (her words, not mine) and that the developer's contract is a scam to get us to pay money for our 'free' support. That's why they recommend this other card verify software. Well, the other card verify software requires us to account for things in a manner that is illegal for an Alabama State Government agency. So that's off the table before we even began this process. We discuss more things. In this, it is discovered that the message I'm seeing that First Support Guy said meant 'everything is working' mean, in fact, the exact opposite. It doesn't work, not at all, and never has worked from the get go. At all. We're back to square one.
I call back to ICverify and get a different guy. He must has just started there because this kid hasn't had his soul pulled out through his eyeballs. He confirms that, no, this process that First Support Guy claimed has worked has not in fact ever worked. There are no records of successful authorizations on our account, at all. So we fool with things and once more go through the set-up.
In case anyone else ever undergoes ICVerify setup I suggest you have a good memory because that back button does not in fact ever work. It's a 'known bug' so if you discover an error, you have to complete setup and then go back and do the whole thing over again.
Back to my tale. Aha, says he, the ZIP code in this is wrong. It must be a nine-digit. The card company is 'funny that way'. Then, oho, the address fields must be in all caps with a special spacing for the city-state-ZIP field. Again, nothing the bank software setup person ever mentioned.
Nothing.
At this point, a woman and her three kids come into the place to rent a boat. They ask what I'm doing and I tell them I'm working on the PC for the state park people. 'Ohh,' goes one kid. I look at him and tell him 'If anyone ever offers you a job in computer support, hit them as hard as you can'. His reply? 'Is that what happened to your hair?'
I nod yes.
I talk back to kid tech support guy and he determines that the modem init string that the always-running bit of ICVerify autodetects and puts in is in fact wrong. He sends me a document with all the modem init strings that have worked for them. The email takes almost a half-hour to get there whilst it makes it's way through all the State firewalls and protections, and then is treated to the tender mercies of a cheap local ISP whose home page features a friendly cow but nothing like, oh, how to set up an email account from them.
I finally get the modem strings and it turns out that the last one on the list works. The card now verifies. A charge is made with a live card and that goes through. Everything is done, here, and I wind up getting home more than an hour late.
Rant Off!
A couple weeks before, we get the receipt printer. I try everything to install this little beast on my PC to test it, to no avail. Finally I spend a combined five+ hours on the phone with Epson's advanced support guy as we go over everything once more with a fine-toothed comb to be told at the end 'I guess your printer just doesn't work; send it back'. We do so. The new printer works perfectly after me fooling with it for less than five minutes. Good news for last Friday.
Finally yesterday comes and we go down there, only to find that my boss has not also brought the credit card reader or the software for the point of sale integration. As it turns out, this is a good thing. We essentially waste a trip, encounter rain that is like a wall of white water a couple times and see more than four wrecks on the interstate coming back up to Montgomery, all caused by the tropical storm remnants.
So we go down there today, again leaving at 7am. I start the ICVerify setup process and quickly run into many walls, some of them earlier than I originally think.
I conference call with the bank rep and the ICVerify guy. We go through steps. We find out that the earlier information given us by the bank person is wrong wrong wrong and if we'd somehow gone through with this normally, nothing would have ever worked anyway. ICVerify guy walks me through the intricate set-up, and I feel thankful as he points out some things that are not explained well at all in the manual. It must be the same pseudo-good feeling when the cow gets to the end of the ramp and the guy with the sledgehammer is out on coffee break.
We test the thing with their test number and date and amount. I read the guy what the result is, and I am reassured that it's supposed to say this thing and that he's seen the 'charge' come through on his end and that everything is nicey-nice. I hang up and go try a normal card swipe with my own card.
Nothing happens. Error.
I call [POS software we're installing] support line. I go through the steps and we determine that, hey, this other component of ICverify must be started first and must always run in the background. Nice of ICverify to tell me this. So we do this thing. Nothing. CM support guy says this is an ICverify problem and he can't help me any further.
I call ICverify. The guy I get this time is just this short of rude to me but the call is brief. We uninstall and reinstall the software. Yes, the modem works. Yes, other things work. Oh, you have to call your POS provider (The bank? says I, ignorant of such matters.Yes, the bank, I am assured.) and tell them they must conference with ICverify Second-Tier Integration Support which handles connects to third-party software. I call the bank. I wait on hold for 20 minutes while they try to figure out what's what. I get on the phone with the second-tier person who promptly tells me that we need a developer's contract on file with them before she'll even talk to me.
We go round and round but she doesn't budge. I hang up and call [POS software we're installing] support again who says, yes, she knows they're (ICVerify) idiots (her words, not mine) and that the developer's contract is a scam to get us to pay money for our 'free' support. That's why they recommend this other card verify software. Well, the other card verify software requires us to account for things in a manner that is illegal for an Alabama State Government agency. So that's off the table before we even began this process. We discuss more things. In this, it is discovered that the message I'm seeing that First Support Guy said meant 'everything is working' mean, in fact, the exact opposite. It doesn't work, not at all, and never has worked from the get go. At all. We're back to square one.
I call back to ICverify and get a different guy. He must has just started there because this kid hasn't had his soul pulled out through his eyeballs. He confirms that, no, this process that First Support Guy claimed has worked has not in fact ever worked. There are no records of successful authorizations on our account, at all. So we fool with things and once more go through the set-up.
In case anyone else ever undergoes ICVerify setup I suggest you have a good memory because that back button does not in fact ever work. It's a 'known bug' so if you discover an error, you have to complete setup and then go back and do the whole thing over again.
Back to my tale. Aha, says he, the ZIP code in this is wrong. It must be a nine-digit. The card company is 'funny that way'. Then, oho, the address fields must be in all caps with a special spacing for the city-state-ZIP field. Again, nothing the bank software setup person ever mentioned.
Nothing.
At this point, a woman and her three kids come into the place to rent a boat. They ask what I'm doing and I tell them I'm working on the PC for the state park people. 'Ohh,' goes one kid. I look at him and tell him 'If anyone ever offers you a job in computer support, hit them as hard as you can'. His reply? 'Is that what happened to your hair?'
I nod yes.
I talk back to kid tech support guy and he determines that the modem init string that the always-running bit of ICVerify autodetects and puts in is in fact wrong. He sends me a document with all the modem init strings that have worked for them. The email takes almost a half-hour to get there whilst it makes it's way through all the State firewalls and protections, and then is treated to the tender mercies of a cheap local ISP whose home page features a friendly cow but nothing like, oh, how to set up an email account from them.
I finally get the modem strings and it turns out that the last one on the list works. The card now verifies. A charge is made with a live card and that goes through. Everything is done, here, and I wind up getting home more than an hour late.
Rant Off!
That's funny. My commiserations on the rest of it. I've been there before.
