The Wednesday Knights Story Hour

robberbaron said:
Yaay!
So, consistently falling over is the quickest way to gains levels.
I'll have to remember that. :D

Ah yes well... but, yep you've got me there. But the thing about Endrin is he's the talker, for example. The Wednesday Knights encounter a strange fellow in Amberdale dressed in peasant garb who looks like a farmer but could be an assassin*.

Peasant "Excuse me could you tell me the way to the Inn?"

Liandri quickly assess the situation ducks down behind a market stall and begins to siddle around the peasant in order to be in a backstabbing situation.

Felix puffs his chest out and pushes to the front "Aye, what fer?" He says screwing his face up in a pirates grimace. The peasant looks worried.

Bob picks his nose and farts.

Xeolus scans the peasants face for signs of the Devil all the time smiling and nodding his head at the worried commoner.

Whirlwind growls and drools (he can't do one without the other) a curtain of saliva matts the front of his armour- the half-plate has a semi-circle of rust under his chin.

Mallaria doesn't talk to peasants, she doesn't like talking to the other adventurers, in fact she's not there- if she was there'd be a fight, possibly not with the peasant- anyone passing, inanimate objects anything will do.

The peasant begins to back off his hands up in defence, "that's ok... I'll find..."

Endrin places his arm around the young farmers shoulder- "the Inn, the Birchwhistle, a fine establishment, I know the proprietor. Here let me show you the way, did I say that I play quite regularly at the Inn, you may have heard of me..."

And on it goes, I sometimes feel as a DM that if it wasn't for Endrin talking in character they'd never get anywhere, also, and whisper this- he's the unofficial party leader- none of the players had better read this as there could be repurcussions. I am particularly glad that Tomo (Mallaria) "ain't learn'd mi lettres yet."

Anyway just for the record I do XP differently, by and large it takes a long old while to go up levels- I use a hybrid 2nd edition D&D system kinda thing- it takes an age to work out and involves "hard sums", which I like.

Adieu to yieu and yieu and yieu.

*everyone is a potential assassin, learn this and you are 50% of the way towards understanding life. <Liandri>
 

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Fair enough.

It is a potential problem with 3.0/3.5 that XPs are only doled out according to Challenge Ratings, if the GM isn't on the ball.
I've always given out XPs (from way back in the day when they were called EPs) for "playing in character" and "having good ideas", and I guess I hoped that all other GMs also did it. I don't suppose they do, but one can dream.

Keep up the good work, its very entertaining in a "s:):):):):):) quietly while I'm supposed to be working" kind of way.

Edit: forgot that the board doesn't like the word starting with "snig" and ending with "gers" due to the bit after the "s". Shame, 'cos it accurately describes the noise I make when reading this story hour.
 
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SESSION VIII.

Thawsday 3rd Fibber 2000
Year of the Dark

Gorgoldand Caravan & the Orc Raiders.

Dramatis Personae
Liandri Elven Rogue 1
Felix Dwarven Deep Druid 1 with Arse the Wolf
Endrin Human Bard 2
Bob Human Ranger 1

Boys about town.

For the past two weeks the group have been resting up- Liandri lodges with Birinth the wizard and in a couple of weeks he has picked up the basics of wizardry- enough to start him of as a first level wizard.

Liandri “What’s this red stuff?”
Birinth “Don’t touch that it’s dangerous.”
Liandri <aside> “I’ll come back for it later then.”

Endrin, after making a quick recovery from Filth Fever, trains to become a 2nd level Bard.

Endrin <singing> “Can yew feel it. Comin threw the air toe-nyate, Oh Lawd… Filthy Fill Kollins- is this absolutely necessary.”
Birchwhistle “Fear affect, one note of this stuff and they run a mile- Fill Kollins’ deadly stuff- we have a lot to thank him for, Pelor bless his scabrous, ugly Half-Orc hide.”
The singing lessons continue.

Meanwhile Xeolus and Arse, with the help of Brother Mendel, recover from Filth Fever.

Xeolus kneels to pray, “praise be to Hieroneous, holy father, smiter of evil, my constant companion in these dark and troubled times. Thank you saviour for blessing me, allowing me to feel the scourge of the rotten filth of the heretic unbeliever Kobolds and their rat servitors, only to be wiped clean- as your holy vengeful love courses through my veins.”

He continues in a whisper, “I will serve you through these difficult times- I will channel your might, your strength, your courage, I will detroy all that stand in our path…”

In the meantime Felix has come to pick up Arse, Mallaria has also tagged along for the ride- they observe Xeolus for a while, exchanging glances- worried.

Eventually Xeolus notices them. “Are you looking at me? Are you looking at me? Well there’s no one else here… you must be looking at me.” Xeolus points a holy symbol of Hieroneous at them. Felix, Mallaria and Arse back away carefully, without comment.

In the meantime the Knights sell all of the items they have found so far- a few gems and pieces of jewellery, they are also allowed to keep the Wand of Detect Magic that Birinth lent them previously. Endrin gets the breastplate he found repaired Whirlwind does likewise with the Half-Plate armour.

The group also re-equip courtesy of a passing merchants caravan, getting excellent prices after Endrin twirls his moustaches (and other things) in the direction of the head of the caravans’ guard contingent. Sam Fox a stunner spends a couple of nights and days locked in Endrin’s room at the Birchwhistle- ostensibly helping him with his training schedule.

“Err… she’s helping me on my bending and stretching routines. Birchwhistle- a plate of lettuce and greens please.”
Birchwhistle frowns.
“I want to see if she eats like a rabbit too.”

At the end of the two weeks the group decide to spread their wings and apply for, and are hired by, the next caravan that passes through Amberdale- the merchant Gorgoldand’s caravan. The next day they head off, leaving their families and friends (enemies- Mallaria & Liandri) behind, ahead the bright lights of Travensford, the next two-bit hick town up the road.

The Orc Caravan Ambush- the terrible Twins.

Sunday 6th Fibber 2000

A day out of Amberdale the Knights are riding shotgun when Endrin spots smoke in the distance, some way ahead over a steep rise. After a brief chat with Gorgoldand they are urged to race ahead to see what’s happening- Gorgoldand says he will sound a horn if anything untoward happens to the caravan, he also allows three of his own guards to accompany the Knights. They head off quickly…

They crest the rise and are appalled by what lies ahead, another caravan (the one that they bought goods from in town) lies shattered on the road ahead. There are (or were) four wagons- one lies on its side- horses gone, it’s being looted by a group of hugely muscled humanoids- Orcs, the second is on fire- once again horses gone. The third can just be seen in the woods- it seems the horses, which can not be seen, must have panicked and tried to pull the wagon into the woods. The last caravan looks fairly intact, including horses, however a group of drovers surround it they are being menaced by a number of Orcs, there are at least a dozen dead bodies scattered around- only one that can seen is an Orc. Worse still a circle of Orcs (these are nearest to the Knights) surround a seemingly one-sided fight, a lone female warrior armed with a longsword battles a huge Ogre, the female in the centre of the circle is immediately recognisable to Endrin-

“It’s… oh her name’s on the tip of my tongue.”
“Stick it out and let me see.”
“That’s just what she said.”
“Pelor, Endrin it was only a couple of nights ago.”
“Ahh, but I’ve been in training- intense training.” He winks.
“You’re a dog.”
“Woof, you betcha. Shall we go then…”

The Knights click into combat mode, they each fire what missiles they have to hand and run straight for the largest concentration of Orcs, the ones surrounding the Ogre fight. Initially the Orcs are surprised by the their arrival- the Wednesday Knights have the advantage and cut down a number of the foul creatures. The Orcs rush to meet the Knights throwing whatever missiles they have as they go- two of Gorgoldand’s guards are cut down instantly in the rain of steel. The dozen or-so Orcs surrounding the Ogre battle are soon put to the sword (and axe, and club etc.), a combination of courageous attacking, and improved armour allow the Knights to cut a swathe through them. Arse once again proves to be worth his weight in doggie biscuits- ripping the throats out of several of the filthy creatures.

Meanwhile the lone swordswomen’s fight with the Ogre turns out to be less one-sided than the group at first feared, the beautiful women with the longsword swiftly and efficiently cuts down the Ogre and is poised ready to meet the Orc reinforcements arriving (the looters). The final group of Orcs at the far end of the Caravan also moves towards the party, after killing the captured drovers in cold blood.

Stranger still, standing just within the woods, unnoticed till now, is a human in robes flanked by two larger, well-armed and armoured, Orcs. The man takes out a crossbow and every ten seconds or-so fires at one of the Knights- his next three shots all strike home- he never misses.

The group continues to wade through the Orcs, eventually meeting up with the blonde haired warrior- she fights alongside them and proves to be as deadly as she is beautiful, cutting down two Orcs at a time- the group are impressed, Endrin is tumescent.

Eventually the remainder of the Orcs flee, although at this point they have been reduced from twenty in number to just a handful. This leaves only the robed Human Male and his huge Orc minders- the robed figure takes the time to get a good look at the Knights before they close in. The robed man heads back into the woodlands ordering his minders to destroy the party before they retreat, like automatons they obey- Endrin & Bob attack join the fight while Liandri dodges round and begins sprinting through woods towards the departing Human.

Bob & Endrin fight hard, dodging huge two-handed axe blows, they eventually manage to overcome the two huge Orcs. Two hundred yards away Liandri finds himself alone with the Orc’s Human leader (maybe). He slashes away at the man furiously- who is however protected at this time by a combination of magic forces, this wizard thing helps, Liandri thinks. However knowledge is not power Liandri’s blows all fail, while the Human leader reduces Liandri to near unconsciousness. Liandri staggers back- spent.

Human “Don’t mess with me, you are neither clever enough nor powerful enough to frighten me- you are little people, you are nothing. Now run along. Before I decide to end you.”

Liandri gulps once or twice and backs off sword in hand still menacing the man although less inclined than before.

Liandri “Feck you, you… <the threat stalls> fecker.”

The man smiles then turns and walks away into the woods- never looking back, which for a thief hurts.

The other Knights come rushing towards Liandri, just in time to hear a horse departing at speed.

Back in the road the Knights go from body to body as Gorgoldand’s caravan approaches- two of the three guards he sent with the party are dead, the third vows never to do this kind of work again. Of the members of the first caravan, Sam Fox (the beautiful female warrior) is well, if not a little distraught; she rushes into the arms of Endrin and begins to sob uncontrollably. He winks at Liandri and strokes her hair-

“There, there… the nasty Orcs are gone.”
“Oh but Endrin they were so brutish- the things they did…”
“But I am here now- shall I tell again the tale of how I slew the Rat Lord in his be-trapped Tower- like I did the night I touched you deeply.”
<<SOB>>
“You are safe with me, here in my strong manly man arms- or shall I sing of the time that I slew the Ghost Thieves in their Underground lair.”
<<SOB>>
“Or when I fought the Mighty Spider Queen and her hundred Monk Minions.”
<<SOB>>
“Or the Thirty foot long be-horned beetle which I crushed with my mighty magics, and keep still in a match box at home in my parents house where I live… I mean their er… my Glorious Undersea Fortress Stronghold.”
“Oh Endrin.”
“Oh Susan.”
“Oh En… Susan… Who the feck is Susan?”
“You are… Unless it was Woodnesday then you would be…”

SSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAP

Later she will look up into his eyes and be lost within their deep blue pools, he’s convinced she will- anytime now.

The other members of the caravan are all alas deceased.

Thirty minutes later the sound of approaching horses is heard, a sheriff’s patrol from the town of Travensford arrives on the scene and takes charge. It seems one member of the caravan did survive- the guard riding ahead of the wagon train; he was cut off and fled when the Orcs attacked.

Also with the sheriff and his men is an old man who quickly finds his way over to the party to listen in to their conversation.

Sheriff “This is the second time this has happened- we need to destroy these raiders.”
The sheriff pointedly looks at the Knights.
“I know where they are.”
The sheriff continues, “there will of course be a reward for their destruction.” He looks specifically at each of the Knights.
“I said I know where they are.”
Eventually the sheriff looks around at the old man on the outside of the conversation.
“I’ve been near their hideout, they stole my cart two weeks ago and left me for dead, only I wasn’t, and I want my stuff back.”
The sheriff shrugs and looks again at the group, “well?”

The Knights hurriedly confer and arrange with Gorgoldand to meet him in Travensford in two days time, the sheriff and his patrol will guide the caravan safely to town- the other Knights (i.e. those not present) will catch up later.

After the sheriff has left the group- the old man comes over to Liandri and explains why he is so concerned about his cart. It seems there is a Two-handed Sword attached to the bottom of the cart- something he was transporting, secretly, he would like it back. Also in his cart, hidden in a box, are a number of potions- the group can help themselves to the potions so long as the sword is returned. The old man draws a map as best he can to where he thinks the lair of the Orc bandit’s is- after stealing his wagon and leaving him for dead, he was able to heal himself and follow the Orcs into the woods to their cave but was too frightened to enter.

This adventure, “Wagon Ambush”, was brought to you by DND Adventures at www.dndadventure.com/html/adventures.html where you can find lots of other stuff. I have obviously connected it up with the next lot of adventures- read on for a full explanation.

And so endeth the SESSION that is numbered 8.

Next time the Orcward buggers.
 

The Wednesday Knights

SESSION IX.

Sunday 6th Fibber 2000
Year of the Dark

The Orc Raiders, and the terrible twins.

Dramatis Personae
Liandri Elven Rogue 1/Wizard 1
Felix Dwarven Deep Druid 1 with Arse the Wolf
Endrin Human Bard 2
Bob Human Ranger 1
Mallaria Half-Elf Barbarian 1
Whirlwind Human Fighter 1

The Knights head off into the woods, following the old man’s scrawled map; it is early evening when they have covered the seven or so miles, approaching a small cut or valley in the hills ahead. The Knights split up with several members climbing the hills and working their way round into the valley, while others using the cover of the trees to creep closer. They move as silently as possible to the tree line where they stay under cover watching a cave entrance within the valley.

Eventually a couple of Orc guards are seen, sauntering out of the cave entrance to sniff the air, they are not as large or as well armoured as the two Orc bodyguards previously encountered. Felix and Arse break ranks and approach the two.

“Nice night for it.”
The guards look stunned eventually one curls his mouth around a word.
“dWARfF?”
Felix quickly lifts up his leather kilt, there is a moments silence which seems to last forever.

Eventually Liandri nudges Mallaria and the two leap down from above the cave entrance onto the Orcs- which are despatched in short time.

Mallaria and Liandri stop to admire there handiwork, both Orcs still wear strangled, deeply pained expressions.

Eventually Mallaria breaks the silence and asks Felix, “does it… hurt?”
Felix lets go his kilt and signals the other still hidden Knights over.

They enter the cave which goes back twenty to thirty feet before splitting left or right, Bob hears the sound of running water from the right hand fork and so decides to head left (go figure?). Twenty feet later they turn a corner and encounter another Orc with a large Dire Rat bounding ahead of him,

<Heft-Splat> “SKWIDGE-EEE.”

The Rat is despatched in quick time by Felix, while Bob leaps by the dwarf and cuts down the fleeing Orc in one flash of his longsword.

The Knights move on into some sort of guard room- now empty, a door leads north, Liandri presses an ear he hears loud voices- Orcish. A key is recovered from the dead Orc guard- after Liandri tries the door and finds it locked. Bob unlocks the door, and in one swift move kicks it open and rushes in… nearly over the edge of a walkway. The centre of the room is some twelve or so feet below the point that Bob entered with stairs circling down the right hand wall. In the centre of the room below, and yet almost at eye level with Bob, is an Ogre, a large Orc steps from behind the huge creature licks his lips draws his sword and heads up the stairs towards Bob.

“You guys, a little help here.”

The Ogre reaches over his shoulder and fetches out a large spear. Bob skips down the stairs to meet the Orc, Liandri follows crouched low, while Mallaria simply charges in, once again narrowly escaping plunging over the ledge, she is left teetering on the brink.

The Ogre grunts massively and then throws the spear at Mallaria, who given the choice falls forward off the ledge. The spear is now headed for the open doorway, standing in which is Endrin.

“FOOOK.”
“SLAAAAM.”
“THWonG..G..G.”

The spear hits the door slammed shut by Endrin, the spearhead passes through the door- coming within inches of Endrin’s head, the shaft vibrates violently.

Bob keeps advancing towards the Orc, Liandri tries to hide, while the Ogre grabs a huge hammer from its side and readies itself to crush the prostrate Mallaria.

Back in the guardroom Felix looks at Endrin- “Open the door when I say so, ok.”
The Bard shrugs and nods at him- Whirlwind looks on slightly bemused.
“Now.”
The door is once again flung open and the podgy dwarf barrels into the room and leaps from the ledge his staff above his head in a heroic effort to smash the skull of the Ogre.

“MORRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAohdear.”

He however misses his step and misjudges the width of the ledge, he is till running when he ought to be jumping. He plummets over the ledge and thumps down on top of Mallaria who is just getting up, the two land in a heap. At the same time there is a loud “POP” sound, Felix looks up his face as white as a ghost and yet covered in sweat- the pop was his knee.

The Ogre chuckles and the hammer… falls.

There is another loud “POP” sound.

Bob and Liandri react immediately, sod the Orc, sod sneaking they look at each other once then rush and leap from the stairs slashing wildly at the Ogre as they fly through the air. Through the open door comes Endrin and Whirlwind who rush to meet the now confused looking Orc.

“For Felix”, they scream, and in unison.

The fight is soon over, the Orc is cut down in seconds by Whirlwind, Endrin leaps down to get to the fallen Deep-Druid. Bob nicks the Ogre a couple of times but receives a dead arm in return, while Liandri leaps beneath the Ogres attack to deliver a mighty blow- the creature rolls it’s eyes and topples over narrowly avoiding crushing Endrin and the dying Felix. Then comes the silence…

Endrin is crouched over Felix with a mirror in his hand trying to see in the half light whether there is any sign of life, the others says nothing, merely mill about there eyes elsewhere trying not to look at the lifeless lump on the floor. Time passes- each second amplified in the deathly silence. Till eventually…

“The fat fecks’ alive…” Endrin grins.
A muted celebration follows while the Knights swiftly discuss what to do with the reclining half-pint.

“We could bury him.” Suggests Mallaria.
“He’s alive for Pelor’s sake.”
“So… he said he wanted to get back underground… this seems an ideal opportunity.”
Liandri giggles while Bob looks perturbed.
“Why not he’s not up to MULCH at the moment.” Mallaria adds before wandering off to find an innocent to torment- where is Xeolus she wonders.

The Knights decide to spend a little time finding a safe place to hide Felix- the need to press on is paramount though, eventually Felix is lain beneath the Ogres rough straw mattress with the Ogres body dragged into place on top, thereby covering the Druid from all but those actively searching.

Mallaria meanwhile wanders off, she returns to the entrance to the cave and explores the right hand passage, down which she discovers a much, much larger cave with a chasm dead centre. She can hear the sound of water flowing swiftly below; however there is obvious way to cross over (other than leaping).

Arse drifts off and sits forlornly in the entrance to the cave, keening in the full moons gaze.

DM’s note- Felix was on -9, soon to be -10 hit points when Endrin cured him. Whirlwind later reported seeing the fat Dwarves spirit rise up, only to be sucked back down into Felix’s body, “like he wuz ‘ungry and it wuz a pi or summat.”

Whirlwind as you can tell from the above accent is a Native American being played by Dick Van Dyke.

The Knights quickly organise themselves and continue north through another locked door- they head off into a corridor where they are fired upon by a pair of Orcs with crossbows- Mallaria leads a death-or-glory charge and one Orc is killed while the second flees further north, the party press on the bit between their teeth now.

They spill out into a much larger room- the room is crammed with all sorts of crates and boxes an aisle runs down the centre. Orcs are stationed at the far end armed with crossbows. A shoot-out develops, using the crates for cover- much shouting comes from the far end of the room, in Orcish- it sounds like orders are being issued. Soon after the four Orcs in the room are reinforced by another four Orcs- these new arrivals are all of the larger size and well armed and armoured.

Eventually the Orc warriors can stand it no longer and break ranks and charge the party. Combat is difficult in the narrow corridor between the crates and a number of the party members suffer superficial wounds- however the Orcs are eventually routed. The ugly creatures flee with the Knights in hot pursuit (jump into the car flash).

The Orcs make a brief stand in a room with a-big-box-that-goes-up-and-down-on-a-bit-of-thick-string (as it’s known to Bob, to everyone else it’s a lift). Eventually all eight of the Orcs are despatched, fighting to the death.

The rest of the area is explored and a locked and barred door is discovered, strangely the bar is on the adventurer’s side of the door. Liandri listens at the door- so that’s what silence sounds like.

“Can you hear that?”
Endrin presses his ear to the door at the point where Liandri is pointing.
“Err… No.”
“Let me listen again.”
“OK”, Endrin moves out of the way and Liandri leans in once more.
“Yep.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”

Endrin shakes his head at Liandri who lifts the bar and opens the door, they both silently creep in.

The two are only five feet into the room when the door is slammed shut by the sickly and generally deceased looking creature that was hiding behind the door. The creature smells distinctly of the cemetery.

The fiendish looking creature swipes at Endrin from the shadows, he feels the sting. Liandri launches himself into the fray but has massive problems connecting with the foul creature. Endrin on the other hand delivers a hefty blow but the creature battles on, ferociously.

"It's a Ghoul", shouts Endrin.

And in the great tradition of Saturday morning cinema (when I was a kid with Flash Gordon showing) we leave the Knights there- a cliffhanger.

And so endeth the SESSION that is numbered 9.

Next time- down, down, deeper and down..
 

The Wednesday Knights

SESSION X.

Sunday 6th Fibber 2000
Year of the Dark

The Orc Raiders, the Terrible Twins- part 2.

Dramatis Personae
Liandri Elven Rogue 1/Wizard 1
Felix Dwarven Deep Druid 1 (ko’d) with Arse the Wolf
Endrin Human Bard 2
Bob Human Ranger 1
Mallaria Half-Elven Barbarian 1
Xeolus Human Monk 1
Whirlwind Human Fighter 1 (guarding Felix)

One drunken evening.

Apologies to begin with this evening was not as successful as it could have been- this due to the fact that everyone was late, there was European Cup football on the TV and we were drinking random shots- Smirnoff Blue & Red, Lemon Absolut & Apple Schnapps interspersed with more Schnapps Sidekicks.

And so to the action…

The Ghoul lashes out at Liandri who is hit, he shrieks like a girl (sorry about the sexism), Endrin steps in and delivers the killing blow. The Ghoul falls to the floor wriggling and moaning, a madly energetic death dance… and with a final sigh expires.

The door is flung open and the other Knights leap in, they were outside waiting for the noises of battle to die down.

There are two ancient looking sarcophagi in the room, one of them is already opened, and empty, the other still sealed. A debate ensues as to whether it should be opened- theories are mooted, postulated and considered, meanwhile Mallaria yanks the lid off.

Inside are the remains of a Dwarf- skeletal, it does not rise up (DM- an opportunity wasted if you ask me) no matter how hard Mallaria pokes it. Also in the sarcophagi are two Battleaxes, the hafts are rotten but the blades are good (masterwork)- Mallaria takes them while Whirlwind looks on longingly. Mallaria looks at Whirlwind while attaching the Battleaxes to her backpack and smiles, “feck off, they’re mine- I’ll sell the one I don’t use.”

Xeolus, super fly guy.

Meanwhile back at the main entrance Xeolus has made the journey through the woods and to the cavern having been directed to the lair by the old man who lingers at the ambush site.

At the cavern entrance he moves past Arse the Wolf, who is still mourning Felix’s (near) passing, and on into the cavern. He stops at the point at which the passage splits left and right, and hears a noise, approaching footsteps, from the right hand passage. Xeolus crouches down low and tucks himself into the cavern wall, thirty seconds later an Orc appears from the right hand passage and spots the two dead Orc guards, he turns and barks something then moves towards the exit of the cave. Two more Orcs appear from around the corner and follow- Xeolus takes five seconds to decide, “hey you there, look out he’s behind you” he shouts.

The Orc half turns as Xeolus leaps up and kicks the creature in the face, the Orc crashes into the cavern wall and slumps to the ground, neck broken. At the same time the first Orc steps into the dusk, beyond the entrance to the cave, Arse leaps at him, there follows a lot of screaming and a horrendous amount of blood- the Orc is killed. The one Orc left turns to see Xeolus and then back to the Wolf, Arse- stuck in the middle.

“Put your weapons down and surrender immediately, you will be treated fairly- I mean you no harm.” Xeolus states in perfect Common, and then under his breath, “may Hieroneous guide my hands- death to the heretic.” The Orc obviously does not understand a word of it, he looks from Xeolus to Arse again, then draws his longsword, screams and rushes toward Xeolus who neatly steps aside and completes a roundhouse kick to the side of the head. The last Orc bites the dust- Xeolus drags the bodies into the cave, “there that’s much neater.”

The monk looks down at a bemused and bloody Arse and pats the Wolf on the snout, “nice doggy- stay.” Xeolus stalks off into the cavern following the left hand passage, whistling a happy tune.

Back with the main group, after exiting the Ghoul chamber the Knights head for the lift room, which as they approach they overhear the noise of machinery- four Orcs are stepping from the lift armed, and armoured- once again spontaneous pushing and shoving with swords erupts.

“Once more into the breach.”
“AaaaRRRgggHHHhuh.”
“Lunchtime.”
“Have at ye varmint.”
“What beach?”
“I haven’t been to the beach in years.”
“Breach, breach, BREACH.”
“I’m trying.”

The battle is short and to the point the Orcs are easily defeated and the Knights emerge unscathed. As the dust settles- Xeolus steps around the corner to admire the dead-

“Hey, nice corpse.”

The Knights stare for a while- Bob nods. Xeolus quickly explains what kicked off at the front entrance to the cave- they retreat to the Ogre cavern, where the body of Felix lies. Plans are made-

“We can’t leave the fat twat alone.”
“Why not he’s usually alone- it’s not like he’s got any friends.”
“We are his friends.” Xeolus states.
Endrin and Liandri look at each other and smile.
“Leave Whirlwind here,” Mallaria states, “he’s not up to much anyway- it’s not like anyone will miss him.”

Whirlwind sits on his own and says nothing, merely looking stoic, and eating his sandwiches- meat paste again.

Eventually it is decided that Whirlwind will remain on guard over Felix (only one vote against) while the other members of the group will head back down the right hand passage- in the direction of the water they heard earlier.

A little later, down the right hand passage, the group enter a much larger chamber with a chasm running through it, just as Mallaria said- it’s 20 or so feet deep and fast flowing water can be heard at the bottom of it. The remains of a wooden bridge can also be seen, Xeolus takes a good run up and leaps the ten-foot gap with ease, Liandri in the meantime has climbed around using the cavern walls. A rope is thrown over and the other members of the group jump, fall and are pulled across (Bob manages all three) to the other side.

There they find a campfire still burning and a large sleeping/eating area that looks to have been the home to many Orcs, possibly those from the ambush. They also find a locked door that Liandri swiftly opens, within is a storage room- a thorough search reveals the box of Potions, described to them earlier by the Old Man, and on the underside of a small hand cart a mighty two-handed sword is concealed. Mallaria hefts it and finds it to be an exceptional weapon-

“I’ll take this.”
“Yes you might as well use it now before you give it back to the Old Man.”
Mallaria looks at Xeolus, bemused.


Down, down.

The Knights heads back to the Ogre’s quarters, acknowledging Whirlwind on the way, who is picking his nose and sitting atop the dead Ogre. From there they head to the lift- after a few false starts Mallaria and Endrin make the thing go- they descend a level, they can see there is yet another area below.

An intensely dark chamber is lit only by the Knights guttering torches, they soon discover a dead Orc body and a number of tracks/drag marks- the Knights move on silently and head off into the caverns.

A little later, in a darkened room- Liandri spots movement on the ceiling and as the party make ready to flee the exit, their usual reaction to imminent danger, a pair of rubbery tentacles wrap around Endrin (again), he is lifted into the air. A brief tug-of –war results in Endrin being dragged back onto the ground with Xeolus, Endrin and Mallaria all hanging onto him. The Knights crowd around Endrin and using reverse psychology grab at the creatures tentacles and rip the thing from the ceiling- a strange Alien (looking) monkey creature with black rubbery skin is pulled to the floor.

All of the Knights, except Xeolus, let go as Endrin is released by the creature- Xeolus has other ideas.

He begins to spin round in a tight circle, still holding the creature in his hands.

“Hieroneous, hear my prayer- bring death where there is life.”

The centrifugal force of Xeolus’ spin causes the creature to flail wildly from Xeolus’ outstretched arms- like some mad hammer thrower turning circles… getting faster, spinning faster.

“Bring darkness to the light. Unmake what has been made.”

His intensity and speed increases, each circuit now accompanied by what starts as a small bump but soon turns into echoing hard thuds as the flailing creature is brought into contact with the rooms walls.

“HIERONEOUS I CHARGE YOU DESTROY THIS EVIL… NOW.”

With a final crack the alien monkey creature is flung away, it lands at the feet of the watching Knights, the creature’s head is almost missing, the vague shape of its skull- now a pulpy mass of bone and grey matter.

“And thus to all unbelievers.” Xeolus whispers, now on his knees, he looks up to observe the other Knights- who for there part swiftly look away.
“Is there anything you want to tell us Xeolus… this Hieroneous thing?” Endrin at last asks, but the Monk chooses not to hear- and life continues again.

A little later, “what the heck was that anyway?”
“That was one of the many spawn of the Devils and Demons that inhabit this world, that have found passage through the souls of men, evil men Endrin, to test our metal at the coming of the hour.”
“Oh. Right.”
“Evil men… and women.”
Mallaria smiles.

The Knights all look at Xeolus who goes down on one knee once more and takes a dark black, highly polished, Holy Symbol of Hieroneous out and begins to mutter a prayer of thanks.

“Oh Hieroneous who art most bodacious,
I thank you now for the might and power-
For the valour and the courage…”

“He’s fecking mental.” Mallaria stares at the strange Monk, the rest of the Knights merely nod.

The rest of the level is safely explored with nothing else of note or interest found. The group head back to the lift and from there…


Deeper and down.

The lift descends to the third level; there is nowhere else to go. The area is in absolute darkness- the Knights’ torches illuminate small circles around them. There is no sound here, only their breathing, and the thump of their hearts.

Endrin draws back the lift door and immediately the click-clack of bone on stone comes from directly in front of the lift. The circles of light are invaded, the grinning visages of skeletal warriors, crash into the lift attempting to surround the cage in which the Knights have descended, clawing through the bars. Panics ensues, the door is hurriedly slid shut again, Mallaria and Endrin grip the wheel and begin to haul the cage up to the first floor as fast as they can.

“Get us out of here…”
“C’mon move. MOVE.”

The lift opens and the group spills out, still gibbering. They are in need of a cunning plan…

All is lost.

And so endeth the SESSION that is numbered 10.

Next time- double trouble and beyond.
 

The Wednesday Knights

SESSION XI.

Moonday 7th Fibber 2000
Year of the Dark

The Orc Raiders, the Terrible Twins- part 3.

Dramatis Personae
Liandri Elven Rogue 1/Wizard 1
Felix Dwarven Deep Druid 1 (ko’d) with Arse the Wolf
Endrin Human Bard 2
Bob Human Ranger 1
Mallaria Half-Elven Barbarian 1
Xeolus Human Monk 1
Whirlwind Human Fighter 1 (still guarding Felix)

Return to level 3.

This week is characterised by a much more professional approach- miraculously everyone’s sober throughout. After a thorough healing- the group decide to make a tactical evaluation of the problem-

“We need to really think this one through.”
“Can I be excused- my head hurts.”
Whirlwind is allowed to wander off and look after the corpse/door-stop, whatever that is Felix- apparently the two have been getting on like a house on fire.

Xeolus stands frim, “I think we should send a note down explaining that this kind of behaviour is unacceptable in the year of the Dark- these are enlightened times. I think provided we are firm and use strong language to make our point then they will be left with no choice but to capitulate and surrender.”
Endrin looks at Xeolus- “I think Felix is sickening Xeolus, it would perhaps be best if you prayed over him a while- Hieroneous may be able to do something to ensure his survival- you know how much Felix relied upon you.”
“I think it would be a comfort for him, knowing you were there.” Liandri adds after catching Endrin’s wink.
Xeolus smiles and nods, “happy to oblige- perhaps you are right. Do you know I think Felix has perhaps always admired the teachings of Hieroneous.”
“We all have Xeolus, we all have… Now run along.”
Xeolus heads off after Whirlwind, the remaining members of the Knights watch their shoes for a while- until Xeolus is out of earshot.
“Has anyone got a sensible plan then, one that involves murder and the like…” Mallaria asks.

And so the Knights decide to descend open the doors and pile out kicking the crap out of everything they see. It took them over half-an-hour to work this out- down they go.

“Ah but,” Wayne (an actual person) who sometimes commands Endrin states, “the devil’s in the detail- this time we’re kicking Mallaria and Bob out regardless. Those skellingtons don’t stand a chance.”

And lo it comes to pass…

The doors whiz open and Mallaria & Bob rush out- the shock troops,

“BOO.”

The skeletons attack, there are four bonies, with a couple of Zombies following them- battle is joined. Endrin sings his courage song while fighting and everyone else wades in, Xeolus punches the head off one of the skeletons “for Heironeous” he cries. Bob & Mallaria kick the crap out of the rest- the Zombies prove much too slow, the Knights are barely having to pause for breath.

A robed figure darts past the far end of the corridor- the same robed figure from the woods and the Orc ambush- he holds a crossbow in his hands and is grinning from ear-to-ear.

Soon after- “Twwwaannngg”, Endrin is hit and so it continues, with one of the Knights being hit every ten seconds or so- in the meantime four more Skeletons and another pair of Zombies rush & shuffle respectively, into the fight. The tide turns and the Knights are once again being forced back towards the lift.

Liandri thinks he has broken through the skeletons when another human guy in a Chain Shirt appears at the bottom of the corridor- he looks exactly like the guy with the crossbow. Evil twins, the players look at the DM with a mixture of awe and admiration.

The guy in the chain shirt waves his hands vaguely in Liandri’s direction, “pussy”, and an all-encompassing fear washes over him. Briefly his mind is filled with the dread and terror that comes when you realise in the dark of the night that there is something small with many legs crawling over your bare foot. When you slowly suck in your breath and realise it has decided to curtail its journey across the floor and has begun instead to climb your leg. Liandri runs screaming back the way he came and begins clawing at the walls of the chamber, in a forlorn effort to dig his way out.

Meanwhile Mallaria goes crazy-ape bonkers,

“Toothpastetorchythehumantorchmeatpastemeatpastetralalalatherhythmisgonnagetchya.”

She begins to cut through the Zombies with ease- it’s the skeletons and the Knights lack of bludgeoning weapons that hampers them.

“Charge- destroy the infidels, in the name of Nerull”, around the corner come two extremely large Orcs and Evil Twin no.2. (he of the Chain Shirt). He goes toe-to-toe with Mallaria, which proves to be a big mistake, the Barbarian finishes off the last Zombie and charges into Aldin (Chain Shirt guy), two-handed sword clashes with mace the two push together.

“You are dead, you barbarian bitch, you will see Nerull in hell.”
Aldin smiles evilly at Mallaria, in the clinch, Mallaria merely smiles back and then in one move butts Aldin in the face, who recoils in shock, Mallaria spins, her two-handed sword catches up with her and neatly decapitates Aldin.

“You can point him out to me when I get there.”

Evil twin number one is not best pleased.

“Aaaarrrrggghhh- you barbarian bitch.”

He fires his last bolt into Mallaria’s chest- she barely notices, although she’s losing blood fast- Mallaria attacks but is repulsed, the guy has got a magical force-field protecting him. Bob however is much more accurate a longsword/dagger combo later, Evil Twin number one lies dying.

“I’ll see you in Heh…”
“Where did he say?”
“Hull?”
“No, he said ‘Heh’”
“Where’s ‘Heh’?”
“’Heh.’”
“Yeah.”
“I think it’s near Hull.”

The Orcs fight on but they are defeated, and they know it, with nowhere to go, the Undead are likewise despatched. Liandri is back with us and has calmed down- he is now picking over the bodies looking for spoils.

A brief bout of healing followed by some more investigating; the passage from the lift chamber splits left & right- the Knights head right into a 20 foot square chamber. It has a strange pattern on the floor, the PC’s notice that the centre of the chamber is slightly higher than the perimeter. Also there is a central bowl, seemingly scooped out of the floor- perfectly smooth, with a number of run-offs which lead to mouseholes (well like mouseholes) in the walls- Mallaria, after a brief spell unconscious- her rage wore off, has an idea.

While the intellectuals within the group are trying to work it out- measuring things, studying angles, trying to lift the walls using the mouse holes for grips etc., Mallaria gets one of the Orc bodies drags it back into the chamber and slices off it’s head. She then up turns the decapitated creature, and like emptying a sack, allows its blood to spill out into the depression in the centre of the room. It fills to the brim and then flows down the runnels and through the holes in the walls- there is a grating noise and a panel, unnoticed thus far, opens. The rest of the group are not even in the room at the time, they are either hiding round the corner or waiting back just outside of the room for the inevitable trap to go off. Mallaria strides over and looks inside the secret compartment and finds a ring with a skull & crossbones on it- she picks it up, has a look at it, and then puts it on. Nothing much happens- the rest of the group gingerly approach the room and the new-found panel is checked over but nothing else is found.

From here the Knights head back out and left- to a door marked with various warning symbols- Liandri has a look but can find no traps. The group open the door and head on through, the chamber is old and seemingly unused, although there are a few boxes and crates about- merchants goods. Another door opens into a large cavern- once again is split in two by a chasm- a voice rings out from the other side.

“So you have made it this far, my…” the creature struggles to find the words, “followers said to expect you. I am Holg, they call me the Bloodaxe.”

There is little light in the room- a few guttering torches- stepping into the Knights vision is a giant Orc or Half-Orc dressed in a Chain shirt and armed with a huge Heavy Mace.

The creature plants his feet and begins to whirl the Mace above its head, till the thing makes a rattling whistling noise- Holg screams, “Fight ME.” The creature then draws back, gesturing for the party to follow, into the darkness.

In the meantime- Liandri has snuck off and begun to climb over the chasm to the other side, once there he descends onto a pile of loose rocks- suddenly there is a small blue flash and he can feel the charge of power in the air. A small blue lizard is poking its head out of the rocks- Liandri freezes.

Bob, Xeolus and Mallaria- rush at the chasm and leap over- with mixed results. Xeolus lands a foot or so short and grasps onto the ledge, Mallaria does slightly worse and is holding on by one hand. Unfortunately her grip loosens- Xeolus’ hand reaches out just in time and the young Monk pulls Mallaria’s back up to the chasm rim. Bob however lands perfectly and charges straight at the creature. Endrin fires his bow into the shadows, a slight moan indicating that he has nicked the creature. Bob attacks Bloodaxe alone.

DM’s note- how many times has this happened to you? This is my end of level bad guy, ok AC, lots of HP (30), a few protection spells etc- +8 to hit with weapon, does approx 8-10 damage with a hit- he’s going to hang around a while, that’s what you think, but ah no you’d be wrong. This is the thing that grips me this lot sometimes take an age and are nearly killed by a pack of four skeletons- they meet the ultimate bad guy and they kick the crap out him in well…

While Mallaria and Xeolus are pulling themselves out of the hole (actually chasm) they are in. Endrin is offering support “come on now- you can do it”- but not jumping across. Liandri is attempting to stare down the blue lizard, unaware at the time that the creature is Bloodaxes Animal companion, of sorts. Bob circles Bloodaxe longsword and dagger drawn- the two clash and both take a wound- Bob’s far worse than Bloodaxes, six seconds later Bob takes a huge swing and connects (DM- natural 20), Bloodaxe is struck across the chest and unpeels almost- guts spilling out.

Bob appears at the chasm- standing over Mallaria and Xeolus, both still hanging on, he reaches down and helps them up. Liandri remains perched on the rocks eyes locked on the lizard, the staring contest has intensified- the Knights shout at him but he cannot be reached, he just continues to stare.

So much for the end of level bad guy.

A thorough sweep of the cave is completed and a few other items are picked up- mostly the deranged writings of Holg Bloodaxe dictating his rise to power- demonstrating his all-encompassing self-belief, he refers to himself as if he were a deity.

The rest of the Knights spread out and search the lair once again- they leave Liandri downstairs- the group are forced to spend the remainder of the day here while the staring competition continues.

Much later, in the wee small hours, Liandri appears with the lizard perched on his shoulder.

“Everyone this is Eric.” Liandri grins from ear to ear.

Mallaria and the others barely give the lizard a glance, shrug their shoulders and head for the exit, and home.

The Knights, almost fully healed, head off to Travensford and their rewards, dragging the sad-sack of a Dwarf behind them.

This adventure was cobbled together from various places including “The Caves of Shadow” by Monte Cook (I think), which I believe is available at wizards (see below) but I’m probably wrong. This is connected to “Unearthing the Past” by Jesse Decker, you can download this also from www.wizards.com/dnd for both. The bottom level is also connected to “Into the Darkness”, which I think is also available from Wizards. Go to www.d20reviews.com/adventure_guide.html to look them up- that’s where they’re all at, or at least they were.

And so endeth the session that is numbered 11.

Next time- The massacre of Sir Malcolm’s moustache.
 

The Wednesday Knights

SESSION XII.

Chewsday 8th Fibber 2000
Year of the Dark

Sir Malcolm’s terrible Moustache.

Dramatis Personae
Mallaria Half-Elven Barbarian 1
Whirlwind Human Fighter 1
Sam Fox Human Fighter 4
Karl Los Val Da Rama Gnome Priest of Pelor 1

Arriving in Travensburg the group are greeted as heroes-

“Who’s ‘em?”
“’Em’s ‘eroes.”
“Mmm?”
“Mm.”
“I thought an’ they’d be bigga.”
“M’m.”

The Knights then go there separate ways- Gorgoldand explains that the caravan will be in Travensburg for at least seven days, waiting for another cargo- so the Knights should have some fun, “but don’t kill to many of the natives”, everyone looks pointedly at Mallaria. “On second thoughts, I’d better find something to keep you busy. Mallaria- how are you with men with moustaches?” Mallaria just grins.

Endrin heads into Travensburg and visits bar after bar until he locates a likely candidate- a fellow Bard, soon money passes hands and Endrin begins training, he’s up to third level.

Bob too takes a wander into town eventually bumping into a member of the local militia- he’s given directions, and after a short journey, half-a-day, enters a Ranger Tower and finds someone to train him to second level.

For Liandri it’s also the call of the wild, he gathers some of his treasures and heads out into the Amberdale Forest, there to commune manu-a-lizardu with “Eric” his blue lizard friend. (DM’s note- Kev who plays Liandri has absolutely no idea what Eric is, he thinks he’s just a little blue lizard- he’s in for a shock). See next session for more on this event.

Xeolus has flipped, it’s not enough that he keeps reminding the Knights to “mind as they go”, or, “watch that, it may be EVIL”, he has decided to join the Church, to fight the good fight. Travensburg is home to a shrine to Hieroneous- he packs his stuff and heads along. After a brief demonstration of his abilities he is put on the fast track Priesthood scheme, motto “convert or die.” He is of course the star pupil within hours.

Meanwhile Felix is taken to the Temple of Pelor and put to bed- Gorgoldand leaves him an uncut ruby to play with should he wake. However the price for Felix’s recuperation is not monetary, rather a “boon”, at least that’s how Sir Malcolm sees it.

A large man in Full Plate, with a moustache wider than his face, strides into the “Healing Chamber”.

“Aah Gorgoldand- allow me to introduce myself I am Sir Malcolm de Heehaw- I am in the region on a Holy Quest. A Vision Quest one might say.”

Gorgoldand raises his eyebrows, Sir Malcolm is known to him- a vain braggart and member of the “who asked the poor anyway” society. Sir Malcolm has undertaken many such quests- usually to find lost crowns or recover Holy Relics, the most the man has to show for it is a pronounced limp, which supposedly came from one leg (the left) seizing up after his armour rusted into place. The reason for this being his incontinence when faced with danger, and the fact that he dresses to the left. He did however ride for two days uncomplaining with his left leg unable to move. This is the only sign of stoicism the Knight has ever demonstrated- bloody hereditary peerage.

Nevertheless there might be something in this- Gorgoldand thinks. Imagine if he ever met Mallaria- she’d eat him alive (hopefully).

The knight continues…

“I have been charged by Almighty Pelor, may his beneficent light shine down upon me and all such valorous souls etc. etc. Where was I?”
“Valorous souls, Sir Malcolm.”
“That’s right, that’s right. Valorous souls… erm, I have been charged… done that… Valorous Souls… check. Ah that’s it- lost my bearings there- what, what. Charged to vanquish the terrible armies of the Kobold Barbarian Hordes, damn swine- they’ve been interrupting the path of Pelor… er the trade routes. Can’t get a banana for love nor money, it’s not on, I can tell you. Not on at all.”

Gorgoldand nods and before he’s realised it he has agreed to provide a team to accompany Sir Malcolm on his quest- he has just the person to lead them.

“Is he a warrior Knight like myself”, Sir Malcolm asks.
“She is a…”, Gorgoldand is lost for words, “… a lady warrior.”
“A lady eh!”

Sir Malcolm begins to twiddle and pull at his fine moustache, a glint in his eye.
“Well tell her I know all of the fighting positions.”

And so the deal is done- all that is left to do is to get a team together for Mallaria to lead.

Fortunately Gorgoldand does not have far to look for his first recruit- waiting in the wings of the Temple is a small but excessively hirsute Gnome, actually the Gnome has an Afro.

“Are you Gorgoldand?”
“I am he.” Gorgoldand replies.
“Then I am Karl Los Val Da Rama,” with that the Gnome bows low, “at your service- I was sent by the Priests- to see something of the world, and to go forth in the name of Pelor.” The Gnome looks uneasy- a pure novice.
Gorgoldand nods gravely, although kindly, and places his arm on the young Gnomes shoulder- “then welcome Karl Los… can I call you Karl.”
The Gnome nods and follows Gorgoldand out.

The second recruit is The Whirlwind, still eager to show his true spirit in battle, and with Mallaria that makes three, perhaps one more is needed.

As Gorgoldand is pondering this he notices Sam Fox, the group had saved her (or so they claimed) from an Ogre and Orc attack; he’d not been close enough to see what actually happened for himself. Xeolus had however come to him later and told him the truth, the woman had killed the Ogre on her own and the Orcs were certainly no match for her. Sam Fox would make an ideal fourth member to the Knights- she’d keep the others safe if push comes to shove, messages are sent asking for the four to meet later that evening at the Inn.

And there Sir Malcolm is introduced to the party-

“MMmmmmm. Sir Malcolm de Heehaw at your service Madam.” Mallaria looks at the peacock before her, “ha” and goes back to drinking.
“Madam Sir Malcolm de Heehaw.” He reaches out and grasps Sam Fox’s hand and kisses it his moustache twitches uncontrollably. Sam Fox flutters her eyelashes, more out of form, and scans the bar for any sign of Endrin.
“Hello sonny”, Sir Malcolm pats Karl on his Afro head. Karl looks put out, but says nothing.
“Ugghh. Charmed.” He turns to Gorgoldand, “what is it?”
“This is Whirlwind”, Whirlwind wipes his nose with the back of his hand and then inspects it.

There follows a brief over-view of the plan/scenario- a number of farms, villagers and travellers have been attacked near the road to Tinkle, attacks have also taken place in the Amberdale Forest to the north. Sir Malcolm and his retinue will travel north into the forest with the Knights as escorts and guards. About two days travel away is an ancient Elven fort (underground) that has been identified as the possible base camp for a large Kobold presence. The Amberdale Rangers have spotted large groups of Kobolds on the move and strangely co-ordinated attacks have been reported. The group is to attack and/or infiltrate the Elven fort and investigate it. If Kobolds are found then they must be destroyed.

After turning down a hand of whist with Sir Malcolm the new group make their individual excuses and head off to be bed.

The Kobold Mansion- part 1.

Woodnesday 9th Fibber 2000

The next day the Knights (B Team) form up and head off into the woods with Sir Malcolm and his retinue. The group is huge in number, and as Gorgoldand observes, highly armed and armoured- they should come to no harm.

DM’s note I’ll leave that last statement hanging in the air, “they should come to no harm…”

The army comprises- Sir Malcolm on his charger “Faustino Asprilla”, ten well armed mercenaries on foot, Sir Malcolm’s personal priest- Father Lucas, and his personal bodyguard, the Monk, Brother Fist. Tagging along are the four party members.

The first day goes entirely without incident Mallaria is foraging ahead of the group while Whirlwind is hanging back ensuring that nothing is following them- together they make a formidable partnership. The first night is spent deep in the forest under the stars- Sir Malcolm comes alive and grabs a lute from his saddle. He cosies up to the fire and staring through the smoke begins to sing to Mallaria…

“Strangers in the night…”

Mallaria spits into the fire and pulls hard at the bottle.

Thorsday 10th Fibber 2000

The next morning Sir Malcolm offers Sam a place on his saddle- she politely declines, later he tries the same with Mallaria, who offers him a seat on her index finger.

After an hour or so of travel, Mallaria discovers a trail that seems to be a natural avenue through the woods- heading in the direction of the Elven fort. A brief discussion takes place and Mallaria states contrary to popular opinion that the party will follow the trail for a while to see where it goes while Sir Malcolm and his troops should stay and await the Knights (B Team- the lawyers insist) return.

“Well I’m not sure, perhaps we should camp here and head out tomorrow in force.”
“We could head a bit of the way in and see if it continues in the right direction.”
“You”, Mallaria looks at Sir Malcolm, “stay here- we’re going in, now.”

Karl and Sam look a little embarrassed, Sir Malcolm looks hurt, and not in a good way.

After finishing her speech Mallaria rises and after nodding to Whirlwind heads off down the trail at a gentle trot, Whirlwind is quick to follow, then Karl and finally Sam- who have the good grace to at least wave goodbye.

The Knights travel down the path through the woods at a gentle trot for 30 minutes, when Mallaria still at the lead, flanked by Whirlwind, spots movement in the trees to one side of the track about 200 or so feet away. She signals to Whirlwind who immediately comprehends.

Mallaria dodges left from the trail, Whirlwind right- once in the woods the two sprint as fast as possible to their target. Karl and Sam have no idea what’s going on and decide to follow Whirlwind (who is slightly less deranged than Mallaria). They jog through the woods attempting to keep an eye on the sprinting Whirlwind.

Ahead a pair of Kobolds break cover- they have been spotted and have in turn spotted the Knights approach. They run as fast as there little legs can carry them. One escapes completely- dodging into the undergrowth and disappearing from sight before Whirlwind and a few minutes later Sam and Karl can catch up. The other Kobold is not so lucky, Mallaria goes up a gear and is soon ripping through the forest in pursuit of the creature and gaining quickly, feints and dodges are attempted but Mallaria is on her game. Judging the distance perfectly she reaches over her shoulder and draws her Battleaxe. She notches up another gear and begins her swing-

“Thuuunk”
“scccccccccccccccrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeccccccccchhhhhhhhh.”
Mallaria skids to a halt, her Battleaxe having passed through the creature’s back and now protruding from its chest. The Kobolds arms and legs are spread wide, caught in mid-flight in some mad star jump. Mallaria giggles and treads on the creatures head to pull the huge axe free. She then makes her way back to the forest pathway, where the others are waiting.

“Did you get it?” Sam asks.
“Yep, killed it dead.” Mallaria grins.
“Couldn’t you just have captured it?”
“What for?” Mallaria looks around non-plussed, Karl begins to wander off holding his head groaning. Whirlwind smiles weakly.
“So we could interrogate it, ask it questions- find out what’s going on. I mean that’s what we thought you were doing- so we could at least have an idea of what lies ahead. Ohh bloody hell Mallaria.”
“Oh, no. I was just after killing it.”
“So you went hell for leather racing through the woods just to kill one Kobold?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“So it was dead.”
“And it never occurred to you once to just capture it?”
Mallaria is beginning to enjoy this game. “No, not once, because if I had captured it then it wouldn’t be dead- now do you understand pretty lady.”
With that Mallaria turns around and continues to head down the path- Whirlwind once again silently falls into line.

Sam and Karl- hold a quick conference-
“She’s fecking mad.”
“I agree, Pelor forgive me, she’s mental.”
“Let’s go back.”
“Agreed.”

Sam shouts towards the receding figures- “we’re off back”, and then again, and again- Mallaria & Whirlwind don’t look back.

Meanwhile back with Sir Malcolm…

The Knights have been gone about forty minutes when the Kobolds attack- the first wave consists of a dozen or so spear throwers- the mercenaries are caught unaware and unarmed, many are wounded in the initial onslaught. At the same time a dozen crossbows fire and this time two of the mercenaries are brought down, as is Father Lucas. The Kobold warriors then emerge from the undergrowth and charge- all thirty of them. The missile throwers soon after join in the fun- the attack and subsequent rout takes less than five minutes.

Further down the track.
“Haven’t we gone far enough Mallaria?” It’s the first time that Whirlwind has spoken. Without a word Mallaria turns and then heads back down the track back towards the camp at a good pace. Maybe it’s guilt, maybe it isn’t.

And that’s how it came to be that Sam Fox and Karl, and then two minutes later Mallaria and Whirlwind came upon the remains of Sir Malcolm’s party. The Mercenaries are all killed, Father Lucas also dead, Brother Fist nowhere to be found and Sir Malcolm, Sir Malcolm is hanging on to life by a thread, a miraculous thread. Karl is frantic for the next few minutes eventually stabilising the pitted bleeding Sir Malcolm.

A minute later after healing potions, scrolls, spells and skills Sir Malcolm opens his eyes and with an expression which makes even Mallaria shiver points at a blood soaked and obvious trail down which the Kobolds must have departed. “Kill them, kill them all.”

Two wrongs make a right.

Mallaria looks once at Sir Malcolm and then again at the spot in the woods at which he is pointing, then she’s off again, like a flash, Whirlwind as ever at her side. Sam looks at Karl, who looks back again- “not again, not again”, she says before laying Sir Malcolm’s head down and rushing off into the woods. “Pelor save me, Pelor save me”, Karl dances from foot to foot before drawing his mace, muttering a few prayers, and running as fast as he can into the woods.

Minutes later Mallaria and Whirlwind both hear and spot the back markers of the Kobold offensive, they’re singing there victory songs and generally making a noise. Without breaking stride they heft their weapons and run on, killing stragglers, loners and small groups as they stumble upon them- looking for the centre of the army.

Sam catches up about minutes seconds later- following the trail of dead Kobolds strewn about the forest- she joins the harum-scarum melee, when she finds it. A minute or so later yet Karl arrives, or at least believes he has- bodies are strewn through the trees, every now and then sudden dog-like screams followed by the various cries of Mallaria and Whirlwind. He turns round to see three Kobolds hiding behind a tree, one aiming an arrow at him- it misses and he remembers in an instant not the peace of Pelor but the Gnomish hatred for Kobolds- he hurls himself into the maelstrom.

Thirty or so minutes later the group find each other, seemingly alone in the woods- they each look shattered. Mallaria has raged, fought, been weakened, and fought on- all are wounded, some severely, there is no healing left, without a word they return through the forest to Sir Malcolm.

DM’s note they managed to kill a little over 40 Kobolds between them- I’ve never seen anything like it, it took over an hour and a half of rolling.

They take what they can from the decimated group, some scraps for the loved ones of the deceased and then grab the barely alive Sir Malcolm and head back to Travensburg, a day hence. They are fortunate the night and following day pass without major mishap and they are soon home, but not to a heroes welcome.

And so endeth the session that is numbered 12

Next time Mallaria, more than a little rash.
 
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The Wednesday Knights

SESSION XIII.

Satyrday 12th Fibber 2000
Year of the Dark

Sir Malcolm & the Kobold Mansions- - part 2.

Dramatis Personae
Mallaria Half-Elven Barbarian 1
Whirlwind Human Fighter 1
Sam Fox Human Fighter 4
Karl Los Val Da Rama Gnome Priest of Pelor 1

Repercusions

The temple of Pelor prepare a fresh bed for Sir Malcolm whose moustache is looking rather limp- there follows a debriefing session in which the air is to say the least electric-

“What do you mean you just left them; I thought you were supposed to be looking out for them?”
“He’s a dick, who cares.”
Gorgoldand shakes his head and stares at Mallaria who is examining her nails and idly tossing a dagger from hand to hand.
“Do you not think that leaving them to be attacked was a mistake?”
“Obviously now I do, but at the time I couldn’t give a flip. I don’t know what you’re getting so uptight about- there were thirteen of them and four of us. They were attacked by Kobolds- the same Kobolds that we chased after and kicked the crap out of.”
“But…”
“What were they doing- ten of them were supposed to be warriors- the ponce on the horse is a Knight isn’t he. If you ask me they’re just a bunch of pussies- they deserved to get the heck kicked out of them- trading standards, you wear the armour your going to get found out sooner or later. No sympathy. A Knight… more like good night Vienna- wherever that is.”
“That’s not the attitude, you were hired…”
“No I wasn’t hired- you got me the job because you couldn’t trust me to stay in town, why are you so surprised- I’m not a fecking nanny to a ponce in a suit of armour, who can’t keep his hands to himself- I may add. And can I just say the only reason I’m being so civil to you now is because you’re all right…”
“Oh thanks…”
“Oh duck you, you fat feck- ordinarily I would have punched you in the face five minutes ago.”
“Do you want to try it?” Gorgoldand springs to his feet and puffs out his chest.
“Hahahahaha, and lose my meal ticket, you’ve gotta be kidding me.”

With that Mallaria rises- all eyes are on her.
“Get us some nags- we’re going back to finish the job”, and stalks off.

Gorgoldand is left standing in the centre of the room fuming- all eyes are on him now- “get… the… horses then” he says through gritted teeth. He points to the door. Whirlwind smiles and departs, Sam & Karl look forlorn, like scolded children, and then they too depart.

Back in Emergency Ward 1.

“What’re you in for?” Felix asks the moustachioed Knight.
“Mallaria.”
“That’s a fatal disease innit?”
“It certainly feels that way.”
Mallaria, more than a little rash.

Sunday 13th Fibber 2000

The four ride for a day, nobody says anything to anyone- not even an insult.

They follow the trail through the woods at one point Sam is certain she sees a Kobold face peering out at them but Mallaria is not stopping.

As the lane comes to an end they can see a clearing ahead Mallaria dismounts and runs with her horse into the woods- the others quickly follow suit- the horses are tied to low branches and left with enough oats to render them unrideable, should they choose to eat them all.

“Shouldn’t we hide them or something?” Sam asks.
“Shut the heck up.” Mallaria replies.

Across the clearing over two hundred feet away is a huge stone throne, and I mean huge- probably forty to fifty feet high- the seat is approx. twenty feet off the ground. At the base of the throne a number of Kobolds- five or six are attempting to climb to the seat and having little joy. They look to be bored guards.

The Knights wait until the Kobolds have left- they walk around the chair to the rear, at which point Mallaria covers the distance with a crouching run in a few rounds- the others follow suit.

At the monument/throne they hear Kobold voices’ coming from the rear- one group goes left the other goes right, both observe a stepped entrance behind the chair and a number of Kobolds milling about- it looks like the changing of the guard. Without warning Mallaria attacks, the others jump in- the fight is short and to the point, the Knights are unperturbed when another half-dozen creature’s leap out of the entrance to battle them, in fact Mallaria and Whirlwind leap down the stairs effectively cutting the creatures off. More Kobolds arrive on the inside, they too are cut down- until they are in retreat- the entrance chamber is taken, a dozen or more Kobolds lie dead.

Soon after the noise of many small feet is heard approaching, not Kobolds, but their friends again the (Dire) rats- these too are slain, all six are killed without a single wound being taken by the adventurers. Whirlwind and Mallaria while leading the charge are the least effective of the four- Sam Fox is a killing machine and even Karl is having his day.

The group heal up when the attack abates and chose the lighted passage over the unlit passage- figuring the lit passage will, in all likelihood, lead to the highest concentration of enemies. They’re not wrong.

Soon after they enter battle again, this time a co-ordinated attack, the Knights espy a pair of Kobold leader types; they wear robes and have some spellcasting ability, throughout the attack they remain elusively out of reach. The Kobolds are beaten back once again with 50% casualties- however the Knights have taken wounds particularly when they encounter an advancing double wall of crossbow firing Kobolds- they retreat once again to the entrance chamber and dish out the remainder (almost) of the healing.

The Kobolds are also in retreat or at least back off for a while- the Knights decide upon a fresh approach and hide down the unlit corridor, at this point the Kobolds turn up in the chamber the Knights previously occupied (the entrance chamber). Effectively blocking the exit, however the creatures appear reluctant to enter the unlit passage- when a charge is eventually attempted the Kobolds are massacred with missile weapons and flee almost immediately. A Mexican stand-off is in place.

Eventually a garbled voice, with a strange sibilance- not at all like a Kobold calls out-

“DevvillSSS I y’am Cusss CusssS the Great Kobold GodsssS- I will mooove my troopssS from thisssS Chaymburrr- then you leavesssS.”

The group looks at each other- Mallaria is just about to shout, “Feck off”, when Whirlwind clamps his hand over her mouth- a whispered conversation takes place.

“It’s a trap- they’ll kill us, given half a chance.”
Whirlwind nods- “Mallaria speaks the truth.”
“Besides they should die for what they did to Sir … mumbly-jumbly, I forget his name.”
Karl and Sam slowly nod their heads- “follow my lead”; Mallaria peers down the corridor and then shouts back.

“Alright, we’re going- stand back, let us through.” With that she strides off down the corridor- sword drawn.

In the entrance chamber lie the bodies of six or so Kobolds- the two corridors into the complex are guarded by three or four larger Kobolds, they look to be warrior types and are well armed and armoured. One of the robed Kobolds can also be seen, there are also easily over a dozen possibly twenty of the lesser Kobolds.

Instead of heading for the entrance Mallaria- moves towards one of the larger Kobold warriors, who shuffles backwards, slightly- Mallaria smiles at the creature and points her sword at the thing, “you’re dead.” And in an instant the creature is- her sword lances through killing it instantly- the crowd of Kobolds erupts, the two remaining guards launch their attacks as the rest of the Knights dive in. The lesser Kobolds also attack although they seem less inclined to do so; the robed Kobold unleashes a Magic Missile at Mallaria, and from the shadows a huge lizard-like creature appears.

The new enemy stands well over 7 feet tall with a fin like crest adding another six or so inches- powerfully muscled, it starts combat by throwing a large spear at Sam Fox, which hits her in the side- breaking ribs.

Mallaria and Whirlwind- are fighting off the Kobold warriors and the rest of the rabble- once again it is noticeable that neither of them are spectacularly effective, having said that in the next few rounds both the remaining Kobold warriors are killed as are a couple of normal Kobolds. Mallaria and Whirlwind are each hit by Magic Missiles again however, with Mallaria once again struggling because of her wounds- although her rage helps slightly.

Back with the Kobold God (Lizardman leader) Sam strides into battle and is soon exchanging blows, a few rounds later Karl joins the fight. The Lizardman seems to be almost a match for Sam, it’s a war of attrition, she lands a good few blows but so does the Lizardman. When the creature looks ready to fall it mutters a few words and points at Sam- a sudden burst of light, a Flare spell, Sam shields her eyes and backs off. Karl sees his opportunity and leaps in to deliver the killing blow.

The fight turns- the lesser Kobolds on seeing their leader slain begin to back off, some fighting, many others turning to run- the robed Kobolds- the Knights are now aware there are two of them present, also retreat- in a more orderly fashion. After a swift session of healing- the absolute last available- all spells, scrolls, potions gone, the Knights head off in pursuit- once or twice they encounter resistance- a couple of Kobolds attempt to throw Alchemists fire at them but miss by quite a margin. The Kobold inhabited areas are cleared with bodies strewn everywhere, a number escape and neither of the robed Kobolds are accounted for, however the base, or at least the section explored, is declared taken.

The Knights move into the uninhabited section of the base (for those in the know on the right hand side of the map) and discover several other creatures- Stirges & Giant Ants, they are either ignored (the Stirges) or battered (the Ants). With this section cleared the session ends, only the dark corridor they hid down earlier to investigate.

And with that the lovely people pack up their things and head of to their respective domiciles.

And so endeth the session that is numbered 13.
 
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The Wednesday Knights

SESSION XIV.

Sunday 12th Fibber 2000
Year of the Dark

Sir Malcolm & the Kobold Mansions - part 3.

Dramatis Personae
Mallaria Half-Elven Barbarian 1
Whirlwind Human Fighter 1
Sam Fox Human Fighter 4
Karl Los Val Da Rama Gnome Priest of Pelor 1

The clean up operation.

The mob continues unabated, the Knights head off down the unlit corridor and are soon in the thick of it, again. Several chambers of Undead are discovered mostly Kobold sized Skeletons which are vanquished without difficulty, however they are soon supported by some much larger skeletons.

While Karl & Sam investigate a huge stone of unknown origin, which burns to the touch- Mallaria and Whirlwind wade into combat- this time it is Mallaria that destroys everything in her path.

The giant stone is finally abandoned, although a glowing sheet of paper and a blue crystal key are recovered- also a number of stone coffers locked and merged with the floor are found and later left unopened, there’s no thief present and they resist all attempts to smash them.

Eventually time is called and after one last check through the complex the group head out, there are no surprise attacks, ambushes etc- the Kobolds have fled.

The horses are recovered- one had wandered off but is persuaded to come back to the fold, and the journey back to Travensburg is uneventful, however the mood is somewhat lighter.

Moonday 13th Fibber 2000

Back in town the Knights remain guarded but the success of the second operation is undoubted- it seems Sir Malcolm will make a full recovery, however this will not be for several months. Sam and Karl, volunteer all the money they have found in the Kobold mansions to be given to the families of the mercenaries that died. Mallaria is reluctant but says nothing, seemingly tired after the fight, Whirlwind merely shrugs his shoulders.

The above Adventure entitled “Kobold Mansions” is by Dave “Dr. Skull” Nelson, his home page is at www.hometown.aol.com/avenelso/ probably. For definite if you go to RPG Archive and fanny about a bit you’ll find it, go to www.rpgarchive.com and try.


A Shocking Result.

Dramatis Personae
Liandri Elven Rogue 1/Wizard 1 &
Eric the Lizard.

Liandri has gone back to nature figuring the bustling metropolis (eh?) of Travensburg is no place to spend quality time with his number one Lizard. The time is spent relaxing and generally getting used to each other, Liandri also develops various talents in conjunction with Eric, and together they are more sensitive to their surroundings wit, Liandri’s hearing and vision seem to improve when Eric is about. It is also possible for Liandri to sort of sit in Eric’s mind- he can’t see through his eyes but he can kinda feel his surroundings- it’s pretty vague though, at least at first.

Several days pass with the two on first name turns, while not idyllic out in the woods, the weather is good and there’s plenty of food around- not game, Liandri stocked up on cup-a-soups and Pet Noodles before he left Travensburg.

About five days have passed when in the middle of the night an intense feeling of discomfort, a cross between fear and dislike, awakes Liandri. He is on his feet in an instant- looking around in the darkness, he can feel Eric approaching, he can also feel Eric watching something in the woods- something large, something very, very large.

Back in the real world Liandri hears the snap of trees and underbrush, Eric skitters up to Liandri and begins to wind his way about his body until he is up and inside Liandri’s jacket. There is a huge crash and a sapling comes falling down on the edge of the clearing- entering the area is an Ogre, the creature stands about nine feet tall. Liandri looks around for somewhere to run- the creature hefts the best part of a small tree and swings the club overhead at Liandri- who at the last minute dodges aside.

The club thumps into the ground- Liandri can feel the reverberations through the souls of his feet, he is off running to the edge of the clearing- 30 feet at a sprint, turn and, “whooosh-thud”, the Magic Missile hits home.

Suddenly he realises that Eric is gone- somehow in his haste to get away he must have fallen off. The Ogre recovers hefts the giant club again and charges- once more Liandri dodges, avoiding the blow he sprints behind the creature, and turns again to fire another Magic Missile into the creatures rear. The Ogre roars in pain and spins around, only 10 feet away from Liandri- who has nowhere to go this time.

The creature hefts the club once again and Liandri ducks down in an attempt to tumble through the creatures’ legs, he suffers a glancing blow as he does so but comes up on the other side. As he spins around there is a huge white-blue streak originating on the ground five feet away from the Ogre and culminating at the creatures’ chest.

“ZZZzzzzaaaPPPP”

The Ogre staggers and begins to fall backwards, Liandri tumbles again to avoid the falling giant. The creature is out cold- unconscious- Liandri shows no mercy and slits its throat.

Eric is sitting on the grass, the source of the lightning stroke, humming slightly. Liandri smiles and thanks the DM profusely for bringing Eric into his life, he picks Eric up and begins to stroke him- figuring that the static will build up the charge.

“Who’s a pretty little fella, daddy’s little lightning bolt… my precious.” He hugs the lizard to him and scans the woodland for those that would attempt to take Eric away from him (Social Services? The RSPCA?).


Down on the Farm.

Chewsday 14th Fibber 2000

Dramatis Personae
Mallaria Elven Barbarian 1
Whirlwind Human Fighter 1
Sam Fox Human Fighter 4
Karl Los Val Da Rama Gnome Priest of Pelor 1
Bob Human Ranger 2

Liandri is back from the woods and has spent a few days in Travensburg- seeking out a fellow Rogue; the town supports a small community of like-minded individuals. He finds a colleague and pays him a fair sum of money to advance his Rogue skills to level 2.

Xeolus is still at the church of Hieroneous learning how to be a priest- for which read sanctimonious prig, I’m surprised its taken him this long.

Endrin is appearing at The Scalpel (Inn) tonight, he’s still in training, but is having to brush up on his performance skills- he will be doing “I will Survive”, and, “YMCA”- worth missing. The group decide to go to the pub to witness his humiliation.

At just gone midnight the bar of The Scalpel is beginning to empty, Aaron the Barkeeper/Bard who is training Endrin is beginning to tidy away and clear the customers out when a young women enters gasping for breath, crying.

“It’s Richard…help us Aaron… please… he’s hurt bad.”

The women’s clothes are ripped and she seems frantic, Aaron quickly crosses the bar and begins to attempt to calm her down- she however pulls away, saying “Richard”, and, “I must get to him”, again and again between sobs.

Eventually Kyla (Aaron knows her) is calmed down enough to tell some of the story- it seems the farm she works with her husband, Richard, has been attacked- she escaped injury but Richard has been badly beaten. Aaron looks to the Knights-

“It’s not safe out there, you’re killing time- nothing to do- Endrin won’t be done for a week.” He looks at the group imploring them to help the poor woman.

Mallaria stands- “I’ll do it.”

Which is a surprise in itself- but who knows how or even if Mallaria’s mind/conscience works.

Bob agrees to help as do Whirlwind, Karl and Sam soon the six are on the road to the farm, the night is cool and light, a full moon overhead.

The journey takes only 40 minutes, when the group arrives Richard, Kyla’s husband, staggers out onto the porch of the farm to meet them- Kyla goes running over and begins to use the Potion of Healing she was given by Aaron to heal him. Karl wanders over and attempts to look at Richard’s injuries- he is rebuffed however; Richard grabs Kyla’s arm and pulls her to him-

“Who are these people? What do they want?”
“They’re here to help us Richard, please.”
“We don’t need any help- send them away.”
“But Richard…”
“Send them away- I’ll kill those little bastards if they ever come back here.” Richard stares out into the night his eyes glistening in the moonlight, his mouth set in a grimace.

With this Richard pushes through the door into the farm house- Kyla follows him leaving the Knights in the yard. Bob takes a moment to look around, he finds some clear tracks- and confirms that they were made by half-a-dozen or so Goblins.

A little later Kyla returns and states that Richard has calmed down, ”he’s just upset, that’s all”, and that they can stay in the barn- “if that’s ok”, the group agrees and heads over to settle down for the night.

It is two in the morning when the scream is heard- Mallaria is awake in seconds and hurriedly covering the distance to the farm building, Sam follows her as does Karl. Bob and Whirlwind begin searching outside of the farm to see if anything can be seen on the outside.

Inside the three find Kyla, it seems she slipped and banged her head, there is a pool of water by her side- the poor woman is in tears still upset from the Goblin attack.

After reassuring her the group head off back to the barn where Mallaria tells the rest of the group of her plan. Mallaria with a plan- how mad is that.

“I’m going to sleep on the roof of the farm tonight and then stay up there for the day while you go and have a look around.”
“What?”
“I think there’s something just not right about this.”

Woodnesday 15th Fibber 2000

The group dismisses Mallaria’s scheme and sleep till morning while Mallaria finds a good place to climb on to the roof of the farm building; she does so and then remains there being as quiet as possible. First having estimated where the bedroom is situated beneath the roof, eventually she drops off (to sleep), she has secured herself to the roof.

In the morning Kyla brings over a tray of breakfast and the group tell her that Mallaria has had to leave, she nods, seemingly unconcerned. After breakfast they head out to investigate the corn fields surrounding the farm, and the woods nearby.

For hours they wander idly and find nothing of interest- although later on in the afternoon the following takes place.

While moving through a cornfield- trampling it in fact, the group are approached by a Goblin- who steps out of the corn. The creature is unarmed, as far as the group can tell- he wears only a loincloth. The creature also shows the palms of his hands a universal gesture of peace.

After a brief contretemps, in which Karl advocates running the creature through or off, but is actually easily persuaded not to- a sort of conversation takes place, surprisingly with Karl- whom the Goblin takes to instantly, much to Karl’s chagrin.

“Me Grit, Grit good Goblin, no hurt Kyla, pretty.”
“He’s called Grit- er… he’s a Goblin, and er… he no hurt Kyla.” Karl translates for the other members of the group, even though the Goblin is talking in Common.
“Grit no hurt Human, Grit no hurt Gnomeseys, Grit hurt bad man.” At which point Grit makes a few imaginary chops in the air.
“Grit doesn’t hurt humans, or Gnomseys- Gnomes- he hurts the bad man.” Karl begins to make chopping motions and Grit smiles at him- almost excitedly.
“What are you doing?” Sam looks at Karl.
“Translating.”
“He’s speaking in Common- we can all understand him.”
Karl remains silent for a moment- then nods at Sam and turns back to Grit- “so then what happened?”
“Watch for bad man.”
“He says we are to watch for the bad man- I don’t know who he’s talking about, do you? I’ll ask him in a bit… Shhh, I need to listen to what he’s saying.”
Grit continues, holding out his hand to Karl- giving him something as he speaks- “Give Kyla. Pretty. Stop Bad Man hurt.”
Grit passes a folded leaf bundle to Karl- grins at him and then turns and heads back into the corn field, the group spy a number of other Goblins, which they were not aware of at first, they also turn and leave.

Karl sheepishly opens the bundle and discovers a pretty stone with a symbol scratched on to it- on the leaf is a Goblin poem of sorts.

“Kyla, spider-silk hair
Black-stone polish eyes
Twin pumpkin breasts

Grit will eat the bad man’s blows
Long before you suffer them again.”

Bob stops reading- “It’s Richard. Richard’s the bad man, he’s beating her up- the bastard.”

The Knights turn as one and sprint towards the farm.

Meanwhile…

Mallaria has been lying on the roof for hours now bored out of her mind, that is until she hears Richard’s raised voice inside- soon after she hears Kyla scream- time for action. Mallaria quickly makes her way across the roof although, alas, not safely or without incident- moving across the kitchen area Mallaria’s leg shoots through the thatch and for a moment she is trapped. Her position given away- she can hear Richard clearly now (through the hole in the roof)- he is screaming at Kyla for inviting the Knights to the farm. She catches the last words of his speech- “and now you and they must die.”

As she pulls herself from the hole a (Dire) rat appears on the roof about ten feet from her position- decision time, Mallaria rends the roof in an attempt to make the hole bigger. The rat meanwhile lurches forward to attack, it misses and at the same time Mallaria shoots through the enlarged hole and manages to land safely in the kitchen/dinning room of the farm. The rat looks through the hole before leaping down, a second (Dire) rat appears at the far side of the kitchen- Mallaria attacks, as do the rats- the result of which is one of the rats is killed outright while Mallaria is unharmed. The door is flung wide open and Richard appears from the bedroom- he is wearing black robes and is furious with Mallaria- a black ray leaps from his hands and washes over Mallaria, seemingly with no effect. The second rat races at Mallaria, who enraged leaps the creature and piles into Richard- who suffers a glancing blow only. Richard screams with anger and then disappears into thin air- Mallaria swipes but hits nothing- suddenly the door to the farm is flung open, from the inside, silhouetted in the doorway is Bob the Ranger- there’s no escape here.

Dun-Dun-Derr.

The session ends and the reprobates return to reality.

Thus endeth the session that is numbered 14.

Next week… Dead head Dick.
 

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