D&D 5E Things You Would Rather Do Than Have A PC Kender?

[Zardnaar]

Things I'd rather do, hmm. Slide naked down a greased razor blade? Eat fiberglass brownies? Be exposed to 5 minutes of hard vacuum? Listen to 10 minutes of Julio Iglesias? It's a long list.

Saying here is sliding down a 40 foot razor blade using your love spuds as brakes.

 

[Zardnaar]

Agreed. The kind of person that plays a Kender and steals from their fellow PCs is the same sort of person that would do the same with a rogue of any race.

Kender corrupts otherwise sane players to act like CN jerks.

 

[Dioltach]

Spend 5 minutes with Blackadder and a pencil.

 

[Zardnaar]

Spend 5 minutes with Blackadder and a pencil.

Sounds like a cunning plan.

 

[Eltab]

Why, isn't the answer obvious? I'd rather commit murder than have a PC kender in my game.

DISCLAIMER: THE ABOVE IS PURELY HYPOTHETICAL, AND IN NO WAY SHOULD BE USED TO CONNECT THE AUTHOR TO A MYSTERIOUS SERIES OF UNSOLVED DISAPPEARANCES OF D&D PLAYERS THIRTY YEARS AGO. CLEARLY THE MISSING PLAYERS JUST GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE FANTASIES AND LOST IN STEAM TUNNELS OR SOMETHING.

Killing the character(s) is better. No IRL hassles.

-Begin Tangent Story-
I attended a 4e Battle Interactive one year and got to share a table with two players whose characters were Classic Drow. They had not completely designed their characters for the first round (missing equipment and under-levelled), so they got clobbered and used up most of the group's ready healing getting them to safety.
During subsequent fights, 'because I'm CE' they could not follow any plan (including "run away faster than the monsters can follow") to achieve scenario goals.
By the Last Boss battle I had had it with them. We were trying to take down a god's throne room (long LFR story). The melee types were up close pounding on guardians while my Warlock provided fire support from the rear and the Drow hung out near me, wondering what their characters would/should do. Sure enough, the god himself arrived from our rear to interfere with us. I took a shot at Him and moved towards Him (offering the Drow Rogue flanking, incidentally), so He came over to smack me down. My character had a power that allowed attacks on me to be deflected to the nearest target - which the DM ruled meant my nearest ally. (I offered that a melee attack should be reflected back on the attacker.) "My nearest ally" happened to be the Drow Cleric. The damage one-shot-KO'ed the character.
Yes I picked an overpowering fight on purpose planning to sacrifice an "ally".
-End Tangent Story-

The moral of the story:
There are ways to get rid of annoying disruptive PC characters without getting blamed for PvP, if you think through the situation thoroughly.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

The last time I saw a kender in play was back in 1e, so our gaming group would've been pretty young. I don't know what would happen now. I like to think most players of today would know better, but maybe I'm being optimistic.

Kender corrupts otherwise sane players to act like CN jerks.