Tips for an Expectant Father

[Harmon]

Something I don't think I saw, one of our nurses told us a simple rule about warm babies- check their ears, warm ears equal warm baby, cold ears cold baby. Check often in really hot or cold environments.

I always heard it called "the burrito wrap" in California. It's not, really, but that's what it was called.

Take a square-ish blanket, lay it down with the corners at NSWE, and fold N in a few inches.

Lay the baby's head at N.

Fold W over all the way, across the baby as far as it'll go, and tuck the W corner under the baby.

Fold S up all the way, and if possible, tuck the S corner back into the fold-over that W made.

Wrap E around.

You now have a baby-burrito. The baby is swaddled, warm, and comfortable.

Ideally, you do it so that the arms are stuck inside. On really good days, my kid's arms would stay inside for about two minutes, and then one arm would stick on out.

Great description. One thing to add, use a thin blanket (or large burp towel) for this, you can add blankets later to keep the little one warm.

(hijack)

Harmon, no easy ideas offhand -- that's not something I've really heard of. One possibility that I've run into a very little bit with my son is that it's not a negative reaction, but an excitement reaction. My son likes me, which is nice and all, but honestly, an excited two-year-old isn't really gonna be in a great place to cuddle. He will bounce up and down on me and want to roughhouse and generally do things that could look antagonistic, except that he's laughing as he does them, and it's understood that he and I are playing.

If it's not overstimulated playing, it's also possible that Bug has figured out that when Mom comes home, it means that she's going to be going to bed soon, and she's now associating going to bed with Mom and getting frustrated.

I don't know that that helps come up with solutions for the behavior, but I'd look at Le's schedule and see if there are any ways to mix in additional hours somewhere, at different times (like coming home for lunch). Then maybe you can see if this behavior happens all the time, or just when it's bedtime (which is coincidentally when Mom is home).

Ya, Bug likes to jump up and down on our laps, and that is seen as play to me and her, the wife is a little more physically fragile and can't take much of this.

I wish Le could vary her schedules a little more, that might tell us something (great idea btw). It really hurts her feelings that she can't be here more, and then to have Bug do that- it really hurts her feelings.

Thanks

 

[Gulla]

I'm undecided at this point. I have heard people say that babies need to get used to sleeping with background noise, and there will be two closed doors between where we game, and where the baby will be sleeping. At the same time, I don't think my wife will be too impressed if she finally gets the baby to sleep and it wakes up because we were too loud.

What have other people's experiences been in this situation?

We have (almost) never made any effort to have the house or surroundings quiet for our kids. The baby is used to sleep in a very noisy environment (the womb) and in a normal household we have had no problems getting the babies to sleep even with a gaming group or two older brothers playing in the house. But it will of cource be different from baby to baby.

What we have done to facilitate the sleeping though is that from around 1 month old we have had a rather rigid ritual for going to sleep. The same routine every time (food, change, hug, bed, sleep well). That seems to help a lot. We also started at the same time to make a special routine for "going to bed for the night" to mark it as a special going to bed. It seemed to work well, specially when we tried (more than half a year later) to get the kids to sleep all the night

This is one thing that I'm not particularly looking forward too (then again, I don't know how many people actually do! ). However, I'm sure I'll learn to deal with it pretty quickly.

To quote a 2-week old mother i know: "It is amasing how fast you get a relaxed relationship with previously disgusting bodily fluids"

And a personal tip on changing diapers:
Always have a towel under the kid big enough to lift up between the legs and place on the stomack of the kid. I have no experience with baby girls, but baby boys can and will spray urine all over in the few seconds they lie on their back and you look for a lotion or diaper or something. With the towel up between the legs, only the towel gets wet

Håkon

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

As for the general theme of "overprotectiveness".... I'm of very mixed minds. On one hand, I'm sure there is some level of protectiveness I would consider too much. On the other hand, folks who say "oh let them do [dangerous thing X] they won't do it again" remind me that my mom grew up sans one aunt who as a toddler pulled a pan of boiling water down on herself and indeed didn't do it, or anything else, ever again. :\ Some level of rough and tumble is fine based on age level, but I'm not willing to risk my kid being the one who dies on behalf of a rose colored pining for the fire hardened generations past.... Having seen "overprotective" used to mean a dozen different levels of parenting, it's hard to agree that it bears any even passing relationship to abuse.

I agree with you. It can be hard to tread that line between letting kids learn from experience and putting them in danger of being seriously hurt. I try to use common sense in assessing the situation; potential bump, cut or scrape - let it go. Potential hospitalization warrants immediate intervention, which can be anything from a steadying hand to physically removing the child from the situation.

On the other end of this, my wife showed me an article from one of her parenting magazines that made us laugh. An American woman moved to Sweden and was amazed at how the parents there didn't hover over their kids on the playground or other play activities and yet the kids didn't get hurt because they learned their own limitations. The part that made us laugh was when one child climbed a tall, but thin tree that was bending and looking very precarious under the child's weight. The Swedish mother rushed out and told the child to get down...because the tree might get hurt.

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Good luck with your angel mannered meatball.

OK, now that I've laughed hystericly long enough... Seriously, while he is a good little guy all things considered, he's far from an angel. But the emotions he expresses are the emotions he's feeling, and he's never shown any signs of reacting more to a boo boo to get a reaction. (it is of course arguable that I simply spoil him so rotten in the course of day to day life that the extra attention from a boo boo simply isn't worth the extra effort. )

 

[Kahuna Burger]

I'm undecided at this point. I have heard people say that babies need to get used to sleeping with background noise, and there will be two closed doors between where we game, and where the baby will be sleeping. At the same time, I don't think my wife will be too impressed if she finally gets the baby to sleep and it wakes up because we were too loud.

What have other people's experiences been in this situation? My gaming group is generally very considerate, however one of them can get a little loud at times (and he is aware of this), hence some apprehension on my group's part at still playing at our house after the baby is born.

Olaf the Stout

My expereicne is that it's not the overall volume as much as sudden changes in volume. I took the Meatball to a gameday when he was fairly young and he fell asleep in the sling fairly easily in spite of the games... but if something happened where there would be a sudden peal of laughter, he would wake up crying. With a couple of walls in between, I wouldn't worry too much.

 

[Kahuna Burger]

You're correct. We don't know what we're having yet. We're leaving that as a surprise for the big day. We have had the circumcision discussion though (he won't be circumcised (and I really don't want to get into a discussion on the pros and cons of it all)) and are on the same page. I don't know what it is like elsewhere, but I think the circumcision rate here is about 10% of all boys born in Australia are circumcised.

It can be something of a hot button issue in America, which is why I avoided voicing an opinion.

I didn't know with the meatball either, and I worked with the public while pregnant. At some point if folks asked "do you know what you're having?" I would answer "Well, we're hoping for a human child - we already have a pug, so I don't want to have another of those...." I also considered making a button that said You must pay me $5 to guess the sex of my baby.

 

[Yesminde]

I only have one bit of concrete advice: get a Snuggly or other child-carrying-backpack thing. My parents got one and used it for both of my brothers and the baby is SO much happier on your back or stomach in that thing than lying down somewhere or in a stroller. Plus, they can breastfeed in the sack too.

 

[Kahuna Burger]

I only have one bit of concrete advice: get a Snuggly or other child-carrying-backpack thing. My parents got one and used it for both of my brothers and the baby is SO much happier on your back or stomach in that thing than lying down somewhere or in a stroller. Plus, they can breastfeed in the sack too.

The meatball is a big fan of slings...

Kahuna Meatball climbs Diamond Head in a borrowed moby wrap. (basicly a 5 yard long strip of fabric. Easy to "make", lots of ways to wear it, but it takes some practice.)

Kahuna Meatball helps mommy with some filing at work in his Maya wrap. (a ring sling with a nice pocket in the 'tail'. He went through a brief phase when he was too wiggly for it, and as he got heavier the aysmetry of it wore on my knee, but it's very quick to get on and off, and just looks like a sash when there's no baby in it.)

There used to be this great site with lots pf babywearing methods, but I can't find it now.

 

[Chaldfont]

I'll second the sling idea. We had one for each kid and it was great. In the early days, the baby will just sleep in there and you can pretend for a little while that you still have your old, pre-kid lives by going out to eat and stuff.

Plus its a great for discrete nursing.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

I'll second the sling idea. We had one for each kid and it was great. In the early days, the baby will just sleep in there and you can pretend for a little while that you still have your old, pre-kid lives by going out to eat and stuff.

Plus its a great for discrete nursing.

As with anything, each child may be different. My daughter hated the sling, but didn't mind the Baby Bjorn we had. My son, on the other hand, loved the sling and hated the Baby Bjorn.