Tips for an Expectant Father

[Simplicity]

Congrats! Biggest piece of advice is that other parents have lots of advice, which they will dispense without warning. Learn to ignore it.

Swaddling is REALLY important to learn. A newborn doesn't sleep like a big person. You lay them down, and they will flail and kick and hit themselves in the head. And then they'll get upset because hey, something is hitting them in the head! Aggggh!!! And I was trying to sleep and waaaaaa! It keeps hitting me!! And now it's hitting me even harder!!!!!!!

So, you burrito wrap them *tightly* to keep their arms securely against their sides. Yes, it sounds like a sick thing to do to a kid.... but it really really helps them calm down and sleep. There's a whole set of things which also help (rocking, shushing, dim lights, etc.).

Advice #3 (if you're counting): If it's a boy... when you change the diaper, aim it downward before you put the new diaper on. IYKWIMAITYD.

Advice #4: Burping. Get lots of burp cloths. And don't just pat. Little pats do nothing. If you're burping well, you gotta smack dat baby (not wail on them, but harder than you'd expect really). You should be able to hear the pats across a small room.

Now that your child is properly cleaned, restrained, and beaten on, you can get on with being a good parent. And stuff.

 

[Raven Crowking]

First off, congrats!

Second off, try to remember that your parents were also young(ish) and foolish(ish) when they first had kids, so now's the time to forgive them for whatever they did & hopefully learn from it. I never understood my parents quite so well as when I first had a child. Which also means, go to your parents for advice and support if you can. You might see a whole 'nother side of them!

Try to keep the primary relationship strong with physical contact, though be aware that you might be more than a little lonely in the sack for a bit. Some women experience pain during intercourse while breastfeeding; it's normal and it will eventually go away. It has nothing to do with whether the baby is delivered vaginally of via C-Section, either. So, both of you should try to maintain physical contact without pressure, as much as you feel comfortable with.

If you can take time off, do it. Watch out for postpartum depression, which is (AFAIK) biochemical in nature and can affect anyone who delivers a baby.

Remember that newborns are fragile creatures. Support the neck. I know you've gotten swaddling advice already....I'm not sure you've gotten husing advice. When the baby is in the womb the whole world (supposedly) sounds kind of "whoosh-whooshy". You can mimic this with your swaddled baby by hushing close to him/her.

Some babies cry. A lot. It's not your fault. Maintain patience and calm, even if it means parenting in turns. If the crying seems at all unusual, though, have it checked out.

Lighten up on the day-to-day stuff. If you don't know how to cook, learn, because Mom is going to need some time to feed the baby, bond with the baby, recover, and so on. If you don't know how to change a diaper, learn. In fact, now's the time to put the concept of "partnership" to the test.

Good luck. I've got three children, aged 16, 8, and 10 months. They are all wonderful beings, if sometimes a little vexing, and all unique individuals. Parenthood can really be worth all of the work. There will be work. And heartache (wait 'til you get to the teen years!). But there'll be a lot of joy, too.


RC

 

[Simplicity]

Oh wait I forgot something.

Babies don't make sense. Really. Don't try to use your vulcan logic. It's useless.

For example, a hungry baby often doesn't want food. Baby's really really hungry, so hungry that he/she is not going to eat. Well, you *know* the baby's hungry and it's going to cry and exhaust itself until it gets food. The proper response is: whatever works.

I have a two-year-old right now. Here's a typical interaction from a few days ago.

Me: You want to go to the grocery store with me?
Him: No, I don't want to go.
Me: Okay, then.
Him: I want to go.
Me: Let's get shoes on then.
Him: I want milk.
Me: Okay, we'll get milk and then go.
Him: I don't want to go. I want milk.
Me: Here's some milk.
Him: I want to go store!
Me: Okay, let's get in the car then.
Him: I want to go back.
Me: Did you want more milk?
Him: Yes.
Me: Okay, back then.
Him: I want to go store.
Me: We'll go back and get the milk, and then go to the store. Sound good?
Him: No, I don't want to go back. I want to go store.
Me: Okay. We're going to the store now.
Him: NO! I don't want to go store.
Me: Sorry, but we're going to the store now.
Him: Arrrrgggg!!!!
Me:

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Oh wait I forgot something.

Babies don't make sense. Really. Don't try to use your vulcan logic. It's useless.

For example, a hungry baby often doesn't want food. Baby's really really hungry, so hungry that he/she is not going to eat. Well, you *know* the baby's hungry and it's going to cry and exhaust itself until it gets food. The proper response is: whatever works.

I have a two-year-old right now. Here's a typical interaction from a few days ago.

Me: You want to go to the grocery store with me?
Him: No, I don't want to go.
Me: Okay, then.
Him: I want to go.
Me: Let's get shoes on then.
Him: I want milk.
Me: Okay, we'll get milk and then go.
Him: I don't want to go. I want milk.
Me: Here's some milk.
Him: I want to go store!
Me: Okay, let's get in the car then.
Him: I want to go back.
Me: Did you want more milk?
Him: Yes.
Me: Okay, back then.
Him: I want to go store.
Me: We'll go back and get the milk, and then go to the store. Sound good?
Him: No, I don't want to go back. I want to go store.
Me: Okay. We're going to the store now.
Him: NO! I don't want to go store.
Me: Sorry, but we're going to the store now.
Him: Arrrrgggg!!!!
Me:

What were you doing taking my son to the store?!?!

(oh wait, thats not him afterall, he won't drink anything except water. But it has to be ther right water... )

 

[Simplicity]

What were you doing taking my son to the store?!?!

(oh wait, thats not him afterall, he won't drink anything except water. But it has to be ther right water... )

Oh, dear god. Don't get me going about the right water...

No, not that water. In the Dora cup. No!!! The other Dora cup! I don't want it (push!!!!).

There goes the water, and here comes the tantrum.

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Oh, dear god. Don't get me going about the right water...

No, not that water. In the Dora cup. No!!! The other Dora cup! I don't want it (push!!!!).

There goes the water, and here comes the tantrum.

I'll see your Other Dora Cup and raise you a Different Thomas Story. "No, I don't like that Thomas story I want Thomas falls down and needs Breaking Down Train!" "Um, could you be more specific?" "Watch one where Thomas falls down and Breaking Down Train picks up again!" *Kahuna Burger checks the part of her brain which once held vital information on world politics but currently cross references Thomas And Friends episodes by trains, injuries and rolling stock* "You mean Trust Thomas?" "YES!" "OK, let me get that one out..." "No that one too scarey!" :\

 

[Raven Crowking]

BTW, they grow out of everything at an incredible rate. Don't spend too much on baby clothes.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

BTW, they grow out of everything at an incredible rate. Don't spend too much on baby clothes.

My wife being a kindergarten teacher has been a real bonus in this respect. We've already had a few parents give us heaps of clothes that they had for their children when they were babies. Little ones grow so fast that most of the clothes still look like they are brand new. Add in the clothes that friends and family buy you after the birth and I think that we should be mostly set for the first 6 months.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Simplicity]

I'll see your Other Dora Cup and raise you a Different Thomas Story. "No, I don't like that Thomas story I want Thomas falls down and needs Breaking Down Train!" "Um, could you be more specific?" "Watch one where Thomas falls down and Breaking Down Train picks up again!" *Kahuna Burger checks the part of her brain which once held vital information on world politics but currently cross references Thomas And Friends episodes by trains, injuries and rolling stock* "You mean Trust Thomas?" "YES!" "OK, let me get that one out..." "No that one too scarey!" :\

Alright, I'm gonna go all in.

I tried to get my son to go to bed one night. He hates to go to bed. It's the end of the world to him. So I sit next to his bed, and tell him that it's time to go to sleep. He just needs to close his eyes and lie still for a bit. His answer:

"Can't close eyes. They're broken."

 

[takyris]

I'll see your Other Dora Cup and raise you a Different Thomas Story. "No, I don't like that Thomas story I want Thomas falls down and needs Breaking Down Train!" "Um, could you be more specific?" "Watch one where Thomas falls down and Breaking Down Train picks up again!" *Kahuna Burger checks the part of her brain which once held vital information on world politics but currently cross references Thomas And Friends episodes by trains, injuries and rolling stock* "You mean Trust Thomas?" "YES!" "OK, let me get that one out..." "No that one too scarey!" :\

Our PVR contains approximately 20 hours worth of:

Mighty Machines
Max & Ruby
Backyardigans
Pocoyo
and Little Bear

Our child may very well never know what it means to have a show "not be on".