the Jester
Legend
'Something Awaits You'
Our heroes hesitate before a bridge in the tunnel under the mountain. A stream of icy cold water flows beneath it; before stands what may be a guardian, which seems to have expected them. It blocks the road.
It sure is ugly.
"What are you?" demands Angelfire.
With a strange wheezing laugh, the oozing pimple on the world answers, "I am called Alketh. You may not pass unless you pay the toll."
"What toll," Malford intones, "is that?"
"A pittance, really! A mere hundred gold coins apiece! And," Alketh adds, gesturing towards Angelfire, "something awaits you."
"Oh yeah?" Angelfire responds. "What's that?"
With a convulsion- perhaps a shrug?- the faceless creature answers, "I cannot say."
"Can't, or won't?" asks Angelfire.
"I cannot say," the creature repeats. "But it is worth your while to pass. And without paying the toll, you may not."
"Who do you serve?" demands Malford.
"Who do I serve, or for whom do I guard this bridge? The answers are different. In either case, the answers are not important. What is important is that you pay the toll."
"And if we won't?" Angelfire is grinning, anticipating the possibility of battle.
"You must," Alketh intones, "if you wish to find what awaits you." Again, it seems to indicate Angelfire.
The party huddles to discuss for a moment; then they pay the toll contemptuously- after all, a hundred gold apiece is virtually nothing to such as them- and pass the weird, oozing monster. It seems to chuckle wetly in their wake. When they reach the far end of the bridge, they find a stake on either side. Mounted upon each stake is a skull; within the mouth of the skull is a severed phallus.
"Froth*," Malford spits. "I blame Lester." Disgusted, he stomps forward along the road.
The road here is dotted with stones that have fallen from the ceiling. It's clearly better maintained than the area before the bridge, however, and soon enough the sharp eyes of the party notice hidden forms spying on them. But when forced to reveal themselves, they turn out not to be hostile. They're deep gnomes.
"We're on guard," the svirfneblin spy answers when questioned. He recognizes Malford; the gnome is a legend in his own time, having been Dexter's first companion, one of Fuligin's overthrowers, one of the heroes that destroyed the menace of the clockwork horrors forever.** "We watch for our enemies. Our town is not far from here." And the svirfneblin escorts them deeper into the mountain, to the deep gnome village of Mud, so-named for the mud that they harvest. "It has certain medicinal properties," the deep gnome offers by way of explanation.
The svirfneblin are a folk known to be as dour as dwarves; with their scarce resources and many foes it's hard to have a chipper outlook on life. But they are Malford's kinfolk, and he's a great hero to gnomekind, and so they fete our heroes as well as they can, feeding them fungal soups and weird underdark brews.
"Your scouts mentioned enemies," Malford prompts one of the svirfneblin leaders. "What enemies are these? Is there anything we can help you with?"
"Aye," the deep gnome growls, "illithids. Horrible brain-suckers, they are! There's a community of them not far from here. If ye could destroy them, we'd be in yer debt, that's for sure. We've nothing much to offer ye by way of reward save gratitude, but..."
"Well, we're pressed for time," Lester interjects. "I have a geas on me, you see, and-"
Malford holds up a hand. "If we can help your folk, we shall," he says gravely. "We make no promises, but if our travels take us by your foes we'll smite them."
I hate illithids, his sword Memory telepathically snorts in Malford's brain. Remember, I can help protect us against them. The gnomish god-king pats the hilt reassuringly.
As the group settles in for the evening in the community's inn, Angelfire says, "That was weird."
"What was weird?" asks Sybele.
"Zelman. Didn't you guys see him?" To the blank expressions on their faces, Angelfire frowns. "He approached me... here, in the gnome village. None of you saw? Hmmm..."
The group drinks in the svirfneblin inn. Angelfire orders a shot of tiley, a thin distillate of red dragon's heartblood (said to be so toxic it's instantly lethal unless properly treated first) and promptly passes out. In 'concern' Drelvin socks him in the gut until he vomits; the archer finds this quite amusing. In the morning, staggering under the weight of his hangover, Angelfire purchases a flask holding five shots of tiley and is told to sip it, for Dexter's sake!
Then the party sets off, heading further down the road. Malford inwardly hopes they'll stop in and kill the mind flayers; like his sword, he too hates them. Little do they realize that they are about to face a battle with Felenga himself.
*Froth is the god of rape, necrophilia and cowardice, among other unsavory practices. He was released from an imprisonment of billions of years thanks to a party that included Lester. Naturally, Lester was the one to pull the lever that started it all by releasing Fuligin.
**'Forever'- well, never mind.
Next Time: Our heroes against Felenga, the Dark One!
Our heroes hesitate before a bridge in the tunnel under the mountain. A stream of icy cold water flows beneath it; before stands what may be a guardian, which seems to have expected them. It blocks the road.
It sure is ugly.
"What are you?" demands Angelfire.
With a strange wheezing laugh, the oozing pimple on the world answers, "I am called Alketh. You may not pass unless you pay the toll."
"What toll," Malford intones, "is that?"
"A pittance, really! A mere hundred gold coins apiece! And," Alketh adds, gesturing towards Angelfire, "something awaits you."
"Oh yeah?" Angelfire responds. "What's that?"
With a convulsion- perhaps a shrug?- the faceless creature answers, "I cannot say."
"Can't, or won't?" asks Angelfire.
"I cannot say," the creature repeats. "But it is worth your while to pass. And without paying the toll, you may not."
"Who do you serve?" demands Malford.
"Who do I serve, or for whom do I guard this bridge? The answers are different. In either case, the answers are not important. What is important is that you pay the toll."
"And if we won't?" Angelfire is grinning, anticipating the possibility of battle.
"You must," Alketh intones, "if you wish to find what awaits you." Again, it seems to indicate Angelfire.
The party huddles to discuss for a moment; then they pay the toll contemptuously- after all, a hundred gold apiece is virtually nothing to such as them- and pass the weird, oozing monster. It seems to chuckle wetly in their wake. When they reach the far end of the bridge, they find a stake on either side. Mounted upon each stake is a skull; within the mouth of the skull is a severed phallus.
"Froth*," Malford spits. "I blame Lester." Disgusted, he stomps forward along the road.
The road here is dotted with stones that have fallen from the ceiling. It's clearly better maintained than the area before the bridge, however, and soon enough the sharp eyes of the party notice hidden forms spying on them. But when forced to reveal themselves, they turn out not to be hostile. They're deep gnomes.
"We're on guard," the svirfneblin spy answers when questioned. He recognizes Malford; the gnome is a legend in his own time, having been Dexter's first companion, one of Fuligin's overthrowers, one of the heroes that destroyed the menace of the clockwork horrors forever.** "We watch for our enemies. Our town is not far from here." And the svirfneblin escorts them deeper into the mountain, to the deep gnome village of Mud, so-named for the mud that they harvest. "It has certain medicinal properties," the deep gnome offers by way of explanation.
The svirfneblin are a folk known to be as dour as dwarves; with their scarce resources and many foes it's hard to have a chipper outlook on life. But they are Malford's kinfolk, and he's a great hero to gnomekind, and so they fete our heroes as well as they can, feeding them fungal soups and weird underdark brews.
"Your scouts mentioned enemies," Malford prompts one of the svirfneblin leaders. "What enemies are these? Is there anything we can help you with?"
"Aye," the deep gnome growls, "illithids. Horrible brain-suckers, they are! There's a community of them not far from here. If ye could destroy them, we'd be in yer debt, that's for sure. We've nothing much to offer ye by way of reward save gratitude, but..."
"Well, we're pressed for time," Lester interjects. "I have a geas on me, you see, and-"
Malford holds up a hand. "If we can help your folk, we shall," he says gravely. "We make no promises, but if our travels take us by your foes we'll smite them."
I hate illithids, his sword Memory telepathically snorts in Malford's brain. Remember, I can help protect us against them. The gnomish god-king pats the hilt reassuringly.
As the group settles in for the evening in the community's inn, Angelfire says, "That was weird."
"What was weird?" asks Sybele.
"Zelman. Didn't you guys see him?" To the blank expressions on their faces, Angelfire frowns. "He approached me... here, in the gnome village. None of you saw? Hmmm..."
The group drinks in the svirfneblin inn. Angelfire orders a shot of tiley, a thin distillate of red dragon's heartblood (said to be so toxic it's instantly lethal unless properly treated first) and promptly passes out. In 'concern' Drelvin socks him in the gut until he vomits; the archer finds this quite amusing. In the morning, staggering under the weight of his hangover, Angelfire purchases a flask holding five shots of tiley and is told to sip it, for Dexter's sake!
Then the party sets off, heading further down the road. Malford inwardly hopes they'll stop in and kill the mind flayers; like his sword, he too hates them. Little do they realize that they are about to face a battle with Felenga himself.
*Froth is the god of rape, necrophilia and cowardice, among other unsavory practices. He was released from an imprisonment of billions of years thanks to a party that included Lester. Naturally, Lester was the one to pull the lever that started it all by releasing Fuligin.
**'Forever'- well, never mind.
Next Time: Our heroes against Felenga, the Dark One!
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