TURTLEDOME! (Battle Bone!) -- Part 2

[weldon]

Finnian quakes a little in his boots as he turns towards the undead and tries to accept the reality of the impossible situation facing him. There's nothing like this back in the village...

Is that all you can come up with, "You are boned?" That's what you said last time, you dumb skeletons. It's like you practiced all day to say one thing and your heads are empty like zebras. Shoot! I mean, like zombies.

Intimidate (1d20=3)

Well, I guess zombie heads aren't empty, are they? They just don't have any brains in there. Well, sure they have brains, and eat them too I hear, but that's not what I meant. I meant something like your heads are empty, well, of course they're empty cuz you're just skeletons and you only have skulls, but you act like there's nothing in there, smarts-wise that is. Not that I've ever met a skeleton before so maybe they are intelligent, but I heard something like that.

Finnian is visibly flustered now.

Sheesh. Who thought it was a good idea to have me say something anyways? You all know I get confused when I start talking.

 

[KenHood]

//Now, that was funny!//

The skeletons look at one another, then break into deep belly laughs...or what would be deep belly laughs if they had bellies. The audience laughs along with them.

The cloaked skeletons waves his arms for silence. Then shouts (again)...

YOU!

ARE!

BONED!​

The audience cheers and then jeers the party.

The Legion's approvalometer dings.

It's almost green!

 

[mohalloran]

Vaunea runs over to skeleton created by Drivan.

[sblock=Intimidate]Intimidate Check:

1d20+6->26 [/sblock]

As she reaches the skeleton, she notices a large stick laying on the ground. Bending down to reach it, Vaunea grabs the stick and, in one motion, brings it up through the illusion's head, catches it with her other hand over her head, and brings it down on her head shattering it into hundreds of little pieces. Then, she lets out the most blood curdling roar, that can be heard echoing throughout the Turtledome for a minute after.

"YOU ARE BONES!"

[sblock=OOC]Yes, Vaunea thinks she's witty here. Give her a break. [/sblock]

 

[KenHood]

As one, the crowd gasps in shock.

In the silence that follows, the roar echoes.

"..."

"..."

"Whoa."

"Whoa, indeed, Pete."

The Legionairres conference in whispers. One skeleton shrugs its shoulders. The cloaked skeleton again shakes its fist.

YOU!

ARE!

BONED!​

If ever a skeleton managed a look of smug satisfaction, this skeleton does.

Then, the crowd begins to boo.

The skeleton's Approvalometer (tm) makes a "waah-waah" sound and drops one level.

 

[mohalloran]

Vaunea huffs and puffs and rejoins the huddle.

"Vaunea do good. Drivan talk people. Make like us."

 

[KenHood]

//Drumming fingers!//

//Don't forget the Dusty Quill. Y'all gots ta put in tha good word somewhen!//

 

[Reklaw]

[sblock=Without]Internet connection is horrible at the in laws. The wireless I used to 'borrow' is gone so I won't be able to post often[/sblock]

Drivan claps Vaunea on the back, "Great work Vaun!"

Drivan walks out towards the legion of bones, grinning as he does. Once he is close to the legion he turns towards the crowd...

//Sonuvab.. No rollers like me right now Diplomacy roll - [4,9] = (13)//


"Hello everyone! I know you've been watching our adventures and misadventures for a while now..." Drivan's magically empowered voice echoes throughout the stadium.

"Now that we've dropped some of the weight holding us back..." Drivan winks at the crowd, summoning up a large image of Hadari tarred and feathered.

"I'm sure you can agree that we're well prepared to take on this legion of crumbly and moldy bones... All we have to do is throw Vaunea at them and she'll take them all down!"

"But I'm sure you've heard enough from me, I think Emral has something to say..."

Bowing to the crowd and offering a rude gesture to the legion Drivan rejoins the huddle... "Sorry about that guys, lost my oomph there..."

 

[fireinthedust]

[sblock=charismatic appeal]1d20+4=23

Woot! Maybe Invisiblecastle wants to reward *loyal* users! [/sblock]

Emral starts clapping in rhythm over his head as Drivan comes back, nods encouragingly to him, and getting the crowd worked up at the same time. Then he stops, letting quiet resume. He waves his hands as if casting a spell, then his voice booms and he points at the Legion of Bone.

You're so skinny, your bra fits better backwards! You're so skinny, if you had dredlocks, I'd turn you upside-down and mop the floor! You're so skinny, you use chapstick for deoderant! Mmm-mmmm! (snaps fingers)

 

[weldon]

After Emral's taunting, Finnian steps up and encourages the crowd to continue clapping. As the crowd picks up, Finnian stops clapping and looks across at the column of skeletons, with a measured pace, he approaches the column at an angle, then picks up his pace and takes veers to the side. As he curls back towards the side of the column he breaks into a full run straight at the edge of the column. Just as it looks like Finnian might try to barrel into the skeleton soldiers, at about 12-15 feets from the column he crouches into his run and leaps.

Athletics (1d20+11=29)

Flying through the air in a spectacular display, Finnian travels almost 30 feet and clears the tops of the skeletons as his toes dangle about 7' above the ground at the peak of his jump. As he lands in a..., well a pounce (there is no other word), Erlai buzzes the tops of the column and swirls around the ranger.

Finnian pulls off his Dusty Quill tabard and holds it up for the approval of the crowd. With a casual toss, he flings it towards Erlai who takes the cloth in his claws and swoops across the arena to show it off to the gathering throng.

He jabs a finger at the skeletons. What he said! pointing over at Emral.

[sblock=Long Jump]I would have jumped them longways, but I'm not certain how much space I needed, etc. The 29 result means 5.8 squares of horizontal movement (or 29 feet) and a clearance of 7.25 feet (29/4=7.25). Not quite a world record, but pretty darn good.[/sblock]

 

[KenHood]

"Now that we've dropped some of the weight holding us back..." Drivan winks at the crowd, summoning up a large image of Hadari tarred and feathered.

The crowd cheers for the party, hisses and boos at Hadarai.

"Oh, man, Hobbes! Just seeing that guy's image burns me up!"

"For those of you who don't know--perhaps from being trapped in a parallel universe--that's the image of Hadarai Polemarkos, the most hated man in Daunton and formerly a member of Dusty Quill team."

"Boo, Hadarai!" shouts a Legionairre.

"Yeah, I hate that guy!" yells another skeleton.

//+2 bonus to Drivan's roll for playing the Hadarai card.//

"I'm sure you can agree that we're well prepared to take on this legion of crumbly and moldy bones... All we have to do is throw Vaunea at them and she'll take them all down!"

In mid-boo, the cloaked skeleton pauses. "Wait. What?"

Bowing to the crowd and offering a rude gesture to the legion Drivan rejoins the huddle...

"That's just inappropriate."

"Yeah! There's kids in the audience!"

The cloaked skeleton flinches. He looks at his Legionairres and shrugs. In hushed tones, they conference. The lead skeleton steps to front of the stage, but looks back again. One of the other skeletons shoos him onwards and gives him a thumbs up. He adjusts the collar of his cloak, coughs, and says...

You are boned?​

You can hear crickets.

Emral starts clapping in rhythm over his head as Drivan comes back, nods encouragingly to him, and getting the crowd worked up at the same time. Then he stops, letting quiet resume.

A lone skeleton continues clapping. Then stops in embarassment when it realizes everyone else has quit.

You're so skinny, your bra fits better backwards!

The audience gasps in shock.

"Oh, no! He did NOT just go there!"

"Yes! Yes! He did, Pete."

A skeleton staggers. It collapses on the ground, in the fetal position, and sucks its thumb-bone.

You're so skinny, if you had dredlocks, I'd turn you upside-down and mop the floor!

A skeleton wails and turns to embrace another skeleton. The poor undead sobs as its comrade attempts to comfort it.

You're so skinny, you use chapstick for deoderant!

"I don't know what a chapstick or deoderant is, but it's got to be bad!"

"I think a deoderant is a kind of insect, Hobbes."

Mmm-mmmm! (snaps fingers)

The cloaked skeleton is aghast. Its jaws open and close spasmodically.

After Emral's taunting, Finnian steps up.... He jabs a finger at the skeletons. What he said! pointing over at Emral.

"What an amazing display of athleticism!"

"Yeah, and he jumped real good, too!"

The crowd screams in a frenzy.

"But...but...but...but," sputters the cloaked skeleton, "But it was our turn!"

The Legion's approvalometer again goes "waah-waah" and drops another step!

The audience jeers the poor skeletons.

Children point and mock them.

The approvalometer drops AGAIN! It's almost RED!