ptolemy18 said:It's not different than if you told the player of a Lawful Good paladin that he was acting outside his alignment.
(Keeping in mind that this is the only PC in the group who I'm forcing to act under an "alignment"-style code, and that he agreed to it beforehand.)
Jason
Acftually it really is almost totally different.
telling someone their actions are outside of a list of acceptable actions (alignment) or a general code is telling them how "others" would feel about or react to those choices. Its telling him "this might cause your god to take away your paladinhood" or some such. You are basically explaining other people's/god's perspective on what he did.
what you apparently did was tell the guy what HIS CHARACTER THOUGHT about the actions/choices. You are telling him what HIS CHARACTER's perspective on what he did is.
One is describing to him what the actions look like to others, the other is getting inside his head uninvited.
Also, if i read what you said, he agreed to roleplay a certain thing well and get benefits, not to allow you to tell him his character's thoughts for him.
As for alignment, this has seemed to bve a big theme with you so let me explain how i see alignment.
Alignment is DERIVED from character actions, it does not DRIVE character actions.
A character doesn't do ABC because he is lawful good.
He is lawful good because he has done ABC.
A player should run his character based on what his character would do however it fits the character background, personality and circumstance and from those choices his alignment will be assigned, not the other way 'round.
This keeps alignment to being a description, one somewhat useful in some games, not a straightjacket limiting character choices.
Again, hope this works out well for you.