Ugly Half-Orc Backstory

[pawsplay]

If D&D were designed by elves, I wonder if we would be discussing the ugly half-elf back story.

 

[Klaus]

Man I shot coffee through my nose...Sacred Hamburger. I can't wait til OOTS converts to 4E....or will it go to Pathfinder?

But still, you gotta have some funny taste to find these guys 'snuggly green cutie pies'![sblock]

[/sblock]
But then again having seen what is available on the internets, some peoples taste in these matters is pretty out there

That last bit is QFT.

A human who happens to be attracted to orcs? Small potato.

 

[Mort_Q]

A human who happens to be attracted to orcs? Small potato.

Yeah, true, but an orc that is attracted to humans!? 'em is some sickos!!!

 

[Relique du Madde]

But still, you gotta have some funny taste to find these guys 'snuggly green cutie pies'!

Heh.. you can't say snuggly without saying UGGLY. Of course, if it were Azeroth I think some guys might actually find orc chicks cute (compared to some female human bodybuilders)

 

[Rex Blunder]

So what's the backstory for the pretty half-orcs?

 

[Rechan]

rechan uncomfortable, find orc women vaguely attractive

It's the green hair. Ahem!

On a serious topic, I have seen various propositions to make half-orcs non-ugly (backstory wise, at least!).

1) Once read a backstory of a character who was a half-orc. His father, a human, lived on the frontier. He married an orc woman because she didn't run her mouth, and not only did housework, but was strong enough to help with a man's work. She was fine with the deal because he didn't beat her (like many a male orc would do).

2) Female orcs got big tracks of land. Just sayin'.

3) Someone on the boards suggested a slight re-write of orc fluff. They're not EVIL, just chaotic and wild, almost like a race of Tarzans. Also, to keep up with their war-like and low living expectancy, are hyper-fertile. As well having Extreme Endurance and, er, Large equipment. And while they're not reliable enough to settle down with, a night of very wild entertainment is something that some humans aren't afraid of.

4) Communities of Humans and Orcs trading womenfolk as peace offerings, to keep them from clashing.

I'm half tempted to let half-orcs be in my 4e campaign, with these proper adjustments. I mean, looking at the Orc statblock - damn, they got the Durability and Endurance thing down!

 

[pawsplay]

I imagine one steady source of half-orcs would be orcs deciding to move into human communities and using loot to lure mates. Sure, he may not be handsome, but he's got a bag of 10 gold pieces, a strong back, and he can forge a breastplate in his backyard using scraps. As for half-orc females... if they can survive around half-orc males, they have to have some good things going for them. Probably not the most romantic arrangement, but then, the history of marriage is not all that romantic.

 

[Surgoshan]

If D&D were designed by elves, I wonder if we would be discussing the ugly half-elf back story.

Yeah, some of the fey (or wild-loving) long-lifers taking pity on crude, short-lived humans.

I wouldn't want to be the result of a pity-****, either. However, that's what gave us John Connor, so it's not all bad.

 

[Rechan]

I imagine one steady source of half-orcs would be orcs deciding to move into human communities and using loot to lure mates. Sure, he may not be handsome, but he's got a bag of 10 gold pieces, a strong back, and he can forge a breastplate in his backyard using scraps.

Always thought that non-evil members of the various humanoids would likely move into cities to ply their abilities. I mean, orcs make great construction workers. As do the ogres who are smart enough to realize that they can get paid for their work.

...

That is, assuming the community lets them in.

 

[ProfessorCirno]

Always thought that non-evil members of the various humanoids would likely move into cities to ply their abilities. I mean, orcs make great construction workers. As do the ogres who are smart enough to realize that they can get paid for their work.

...

That is, assuming the community lets them in.

Arcanum the Tabletop game?

...A man can dream, I suppose...