Damien Titchener
Explorer
I'd like to stress once again that these are all really small things, and the paper overall is clear and well-written. I offer these suggestions only in the spirit of showing you things to watch for when writing for a grade.
Thank you, Jayoungr.
The suggestions were constructive. I did four drafts before posting it to the forums. I needed extra eyes, so all the advice given so far has been outstanding. I am glad you enjoyed reading it.