Note that I'm not picking on you, I'm picking your answer to reply to as it's one of the most interesting, I hope you're OK with this.
No worries.
Thanks for this, I think that most of the debate is, as usual, at least as much a problem of terminology as it is about sensitivities. Without using capital letters as they are in and of themselves ambiguous, I prefer to say that all play the game, one as DM and the others as players.
Sure thing.
The DM is very often doing much more than this, he is creating the campaign/Arc/Scenario/Module that guides the narrative to very varying degrees, from 0% to 100%, although the closer it is to 100% the more it is usually frowned upon by the community. Although I'd like to point out that, for those who play D&D as a more combat orientated game, the DM is often creating very close to 100% of the scenario just by determining the adversaries and setting for the next fight. Since the fights themselves are usually not a narrative in that kind of play...
I can agree with this. My point was more that the narrative is a back and forth between both sides, with the players controlling only their PCs.
It's not mandatory (I think I know your perspective on this, you are close or very close to 0%), but it is I think by far the most common way of playing the game.
Yeah. I improv a lot of my game, and a whole lot of my game is in response to the players actions. What I've prepared can go right out the window with absolutely no frustration on my part if the party zigs when I think they will zag. I'm usually pretty good at guessing(probably 95%) what the players will do as we have played with each other for 14-38 years(depending on the player, the 14 year being the son of the 38 year), but sometimes they zig so hard my head spins. Usually that happens when they are looking at their notes, see something that happened 10 levels ago in passing, attribute much greater importance to it, see a similarity to something current, and come up with 2+2=6.
Before/After are not playing the game. If players want to have narrative control, they are free individual and can do whatever they want, but it's not part of the game as players.
Yes, with the caveat that the DM can allow it. For instance, when the players write up a background, they are free to create NPCs and even small villages/towns, because the Realms is huge and doesn't note those sorts of things. They can do it within reason. They can make up a mayor and say the mayor is a half-elf jerk, but it's up to me to decide if he has a class, any secrets, etc. They can say they are friends with a hermit, but I decide what the details of why the man is a hermit is.
I'm also experimenting with a new inspiration mechanic this campaign. In all my campaigns I use a fate deck of magic cards for when a 1 is rolled and occasionally a 20 on an important roll. Say the party is trying to break down a door and a 1 is rolled and the player pulls a Shatter card. The door is simply going to burst either from age, a hidden flaw, or whatever. If that 1 is rolled in combat, the PC's sword my shatter.
This campaign when a player earns inspiration, they can pick a card and I'm letting them interpret it to their benefit within reason when they use the inspiration. It seems to be a much more enjoyable mechanic than simple advantage.
Yes, the balance is specific to each table, and is what should make it fun for each table.
At our tables, it's about the story but it's even more about the people playing the game (players and DM) having fun creating it.
Yeah. I think you've gotten a bit of a wrong idea about how I work. You've accused me of powergaming in the past when I really don't give a fig about that. I'm more concept and story driven. However, when I argue here about the rules as written, it may come across differently as quite often I'm arguing something that I've changed for my game. How I think the rules do something is often not how I run it.
My players are mostly the same. I have one guy who loves to optimize, but he also loves to roleplay and nobody else at the table cares if he does extra damage or has a very high skill bonus, so it's not an issue. Two guys(the father and son) are all about story and character, to the point of often forgetting rules and abilities that would give them an advantage in a situation and/or picking very non-optimal spells, feats, etc. because it fits their characters. The fourth player in the middle, but moving more towards the story end of things each campaign.