What do I do about this player?

[diaglo]

I'm not aware of an "Roleplaying Appreciation" seminars anyway.

i'm the president of our local chapter.

edit: get her to do what others do. read message boards, read novels, listen to those who enjoy the experience, have her go to local gaming stores, watch movies, play the computer games, join a club or association like the RPGA, etc...whatever it takes to get her inspired.

 

[ST]

Hey, I go with what is said in Robin's Laws.

Sometimes you get a player who's really just along for the ride. (Obviously, she's there because her boyfriend is there.) The important thing is: There's nothing wrong with that.

If she develops further, great. It'd be wonderful if you can draw her out, and I think it's great that you're trying, but just remember that the worst case is really not bad at all.

On the other hand, if you and the other players stage an 'intervention' to get her more deeply immersed into role-playing, she and the boyfriend might leave from the sheer weirdness of "You're enjoying this enough that you choose to come... but we demand more! MORE FUN FOR THE GOAT GOD! HAHAHAH!!!!!"... sorry about that. But hopefully you see my point.

 

[silentspace]

Not trying to be snarky or anything, but what's your point? Attention wanders when you're bored. Clearly she's not really enjoying this. I don't think putting her in a training seminar is going to help her enjoy roleplaying more. I'm not aware of an "Roleplaying Appreciation" seminars anyway.

My point is that, in my opinion, children and adults are not all that different. I can't think of a whole lot of things that I enjoyed as a child that I don't enjoy as an adult. Everyone's different though.

If you're not trying to be snarky, I wonder what you're like when you are

 

[Mercule]

Sometimes you get a player who's really just along for the ride. (Obviously, she's there because her boyfriend is there.) The important thing is: There's nothing wrong with that.

Let me echo this sentiment. Back in college, I had a player who really didn't do much during the game, especially combat. It was actually bad enough that I had a couple of the other players ask me why she wasn't doing anything. She was one of the people most gung-ho about getting together to game, though.

What she wanted was to just be around. She liked seeing the story unfold. She liked making (as opposed to playing) the character. She just liked being a part of something fun.

In my case, the player was a great cheerleader to the rest of the group. She was also great to include in backstory events and to catch plot hooks. The game flowed much differently, in a negative way, without her around. Would I want a whole group of players like that? Not hardly -- I think I'd kill them. But one was fine.

Your case sounds like she likes combat. There's nothing wrong with that. She could be having a fine old time over all. Ask her if she enjoys the game as a whole, then take her at her word. As long as she isn't bringing anyone else down and she's having fun, I utterly fail to see anything that even borders on a problem.

And, if the fact that she isn't particularly active bothers you, I wouldn't sweat it. My wife started out gaming because she had a crush on me (her words). She didn't do much other than roll dice for quite some time. The last month or so has seen her play her first spell-caster after a decade of sword-slingers, granted it's a cleric of Clanggedin.

Also, in every game she's played for the last four years, she's ended up as party leader. That's including the ones with other people who are "always" leader. I'd say she's really taken to gaming, but she spent a number of years as a wallflower, first.

 

[CaptainCalico]

Hey, I go with what is said in Robin's Laws.

Sometimes you get a player who's really just along for the ride. (Obviously, she's there because her boyfriend is there.) The important thing is: There's nothing wrong with that.

Can I get an "AMEN!"?

My husband is a social gamer, with just a touch of hack n' slash thrown in for good measure. He does NOT enjoy being the center of attention in non-combat segments, nor does he like his character's backstory to be suddenly integral to subtle twists of the plot. He just likes to hang out with his buds, eat munchies and watch a story unfold. Nothing wrong with that. In the last campaign we were both in he took on the role of party chronicler - nobody knew what his character's parent's names were, but who got what treasure? who had the most kills last combat? Heck, he could give you a breakdown of how many hitpoints of damage each character had dealt last session! That was what he enjoyed.

Maybe you have another social gamer on your hands, in which case I say just go with the flow and remind your other players that everyone gets something different out of the game.

OTOH: you mentioned that she said she had trouble envisioning scenes - maybe you need to buff up your descriptive text a bit, perhaps include some other senses besides sight and sound, to help pull her in to the world.

 

[Dunjin]

Yeah, I have no problem with her hanging out and playing just to be there, or just getting however into it she wants to be. My problem is with feeling like she's not having any fun. As GM, I want to entertain everyone as best I can, so that they'll keep coming to live in the world I made.

These are all great suggestions, and I'll mull them over. I've sorta decided to toss in more "bangs" (while they're talking to the informant in the bar, maybe a group of distrustful locals bursts in and tries to take the strangers to task, etc.) as much as would make sense. Also, I know I need to spice up the description a bit; my other group is a Cynical Bastard group, in which flavor text was called out as such and seen as an obstacle to the hacking that was about to occur. An old habit I need to drop.

 

[Desdichado]

If you're not trying to be snarky, I wonder what you're like when you are

Banned.

 

[Zaruthustran]

Can I get an "AMEN!"?

AMEN.

But it doesn't help Dunjin's situation.

Dunjin, I'd try:

1. Asking her (and others) to sketch their character's appearance, or describe their character's appearance and basic behavior (use the DMG NPC traits). This can as simple as asking "If this game were a movie, which actor or actress would you cast to play your character?" What this does is get the players to come up with a mental image of the character, makes that character more real and thus easier to identify with.
2. Engaging her character with NPCs. What this does is make the player think "how would my character respond"?
3. Hanging out with her outside of the game (coffee shop or other casual nongame social situation) and encouraging her to come up with a very basic backstory. A little thought and imagination goes a long way.
4. Encouraging her boyfriend to rent and watch a classic fantasy movie with her, like Princess Bride, Robin Hood, Pirates of the Carribbean, or Ladyhawk. If a player sees other fantasy characters, he or she is better able to imagine his or her own character.

If none of the above works don't sweat it. I'm sure the boyfriend is secure enough that he can deal with being seperated from his girlfriend for the 4-10 hours of a typical game session. If not, well, I'd worry more about your buddy than his girl.

-z

 

[Dunjin]

Well, I work with her, and we hang out at work. We don't have many interests in common, and I worried at first about how she'd take to the game. Her boyfriend I don't know all that well, but they're both really great people who are fun to hang out with. They have always played a lot of improv-type games and board games (though she told me she hates Balderdash, one of my favorites, because of her short attention span). He's taken well to the D&D, she hasn't.

I've asked her to work out more of her background and tell me about the stuff she wants me to work in. I am going to offer to let her create a new character, with the same XP total and all, of whatever class and race she'd like, if she thinks that'll help. Sometimes your first D&D character isn't all that great, but once you get a feel for the game, you can better make a character that suits what you want to do.

Anyway, I appreciate all the suggestions. Keep 'em coming

 

[Goddess FallenAngel]

Someone mentioned that "everyone likes roleplaying" - and that is not really true. I have been in plenty of groups where roleplaying was simply an waste of time, or something to do while the DM rolled up the next encounter. *All of those groups I dropped after the first few game sessions, but that doesn't mean that the other players weren't enjoying it *

Maybe you have a hack-n-slasher on your hands. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with having a wallflower too - when I first started gaming, I hardly did any roleplaying as I was too worried I would "say the wrong thing" and be embarrassed.

My advice? Take her aside, when the game is not going on, and ask her if she is having fun, and if she has any suggestions that would make the game more enjoyable. Try not to put her on the spot by asking her in front of others. Also, let her know that you are always open to suggestions, and your biggest concern is making sure that everyone is having a blast - because if someone isn't having fun, neither are you. And take her at her word - if she isn't going to tell you if something, continually pestering her about it isn't going to make her, and will most likely make her uncomfortable.