D&D General What do I do with a Player who doesn't care about the actual game?

[Technoloid]

You really don't,

Not everyone likes gaming. You can do different things with different friends.

More importantly, if this person makes the game worse for the other players, you owe it to them to NOT include this person.

No one has the right to have fun at the expense of the other people at the table.

doesnt sound like the guy doesnt wanna play, just sounds like hes not fully invested. and besides, the least he can do is give everyone a laugh at his expense.

If you're advocating killing the character of the player - don't try to solve out of game problems with in game solutions, it doesn't work and will just cause more problems.

scenario 1: the guy gets ticked off and leaves and then a few days later youre all back at it shootin the naughty word on a friday night with some drinks laughing about the whole thing (thats how my friends work, if friends cant take shots at each other then wtf are you friends for?)

scenario 2: the guy realizes that the DM is upset enough to kill his character off for not paying attention and taking the game seriously enough and decides to see the error of his ways. if the player cant appreciate how much time and effort goes into DM'ing then they have no right to get upset when they get killed off because they missed something because they were on tik-tok....

 

[Mort]

doesnt sound like the guy doesnt wanna play, just sounds like hes not fully invested. and besides, the least he can do is give everyone a laugh at his expense.

If the guy is willing to invest, awesome. If not you can't force it and expect that to work.

scenario 1: the guy gets ticked off and leaves and then a few days later youre all back at it shootin the naughty word on a friday night with some drinks laughing about the whole thing (thats how my friends work, if friends cant take shots at each other then wtf are you friends for?)

Except instead of having a mature talk you've :
1) hurt the guys feelings and possibly soured the friendship over a game;
2) Shown the other players - when irritated characters start dying

This person doesn't sound like the type to take a vindictive character death well. Also, I've NEVER seen this end well.

scenario 2: the guy realizes that the DM is upset enough to kill his character off for not paying attention and taking the game seriously enough and decides to see the error of his ways. if the player cant appreciate how much time and effort goes into DM'ing then they have no right to get upset when they get killed off because they missed something because they were on tik-tok....

But they didn't "miss something" the DM deliberately killed them off. Your passive-aggressively addressing the problem in game as opposed to having a real discussion.

More importantly than the above - those scenarios are artificial - I've seen what a DM arbitrarily stating the character is dead -People stop behaving rationally and get emotional - this doesn't go well.

 

[Technoloid]

If the guy is willing to invest, awesome. If not you can't force it and expect that to work.

Except instead of having a mature talk you've :
1) hurt the guys feelings and possibly soured the friendship over a game;
2) Shown the other players - when irritated characters start dying

This person doesn't sound like the type to take a vindictive character death well. Also, I've NEVER seen this end well.



But they didn't "miss something" the DM deliberately killed them off. Your passive-aggressively addressing the problem in game as opposed to having a real discussion.

More importantly than the above - those scenarios are artificial - I've seen what a DM arbitrarily stating the character is dead -People stop behaving rationally and get emotional - this doesn't go well.

To each thier own I suppose. What works for one group of friends doesnt always work for another. Just wanted to offer a different perspective than I've seen on here before.

Basically I guess the advice that should be given is:
You should know your friends and what they can handle and what they cant. What they are interested in and what they arent. If your problem players arent the type of people that can take a few jabs then dont throw any.

I suppose the other side of the coin here is just talk to them and tell them how you feel. Tell them thier play is coming off as very selfish and not conducive to a team environment. You need to see a more cooperative style of play from them. If they arent capable of that then maybe this game just isnt for them. No hard feelings or anything but sometimes you have to make a hard decision for the greater good.

 

[R_J_K75]

If they arent capable of that then maybe this game just isnt for them. No hard feelings or anything but sometimes you have to make a hard decision for the greater good.

I've seen people get bent out of shape, throw hissy fits, actually throw dice at another DM. walk out of my game, I been asked to leave games, sometimes certain people and personalities just dont mix. Address it and move on even if that means speaking the truth. Personally I find it hilarious when people get that mad over a game that they need to act out. Those type of people, whether its D&D or anything else I dont need around me. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, nope, the squeaky wheel gets replaced.

 

[R_J_K75]

It's okay if that hurts their feelings a bit.

I do it all the time, so do they, its great fun, we all laugh then do it again. What else are friends for?

 

[Mistwell]

Just got rid of one of them the other day. Turns out he is currently also barred from the Warhammer shop and expelled from an RPG society in a different city.

So yeah boot them.

LOL how do you get banned from the Warhammer shop? We need to hear that story, Zard!

 

[R_J_K75]

Let me rephrase. He will steal people's backstories just so his character is the best. He will attempt to kill a character just because they have an evil alignment, even though they haven't done anything. We allow him to be a character he wants, but he tries to persuade the DM to have events go the way he wants. This is for all our campaigns.

Why is this even a thread? How has this person lasted this long in your game let alone life in general acting like this?

 

[Technoloid]

Why is this even a thread? How has this person lasted this long in your game let alone life in general acting like this?

Yeah theres a lot of layers to this onion

 

[Zardnaar]

LOL how do you get banned from the Warhammer shop? We need to hear that story, Zard!

I'm not sure but this player was very arguementative. What got him kicked was he kept insisting on playing a Ranger of Lolth in party of Elistraee.

Same one got told he couldn't use the hexblade, suspicious dice rolls and then invented rules was wrong almost 100% of the time and double down on said arguement.

Also tried picking fights with NPCs whenever bored.

Store owner told me he got barred from the Warhammer shop.

After I booted him (well he left right before I was going to) I was contacted by someone I've known for 17 years who filled in the rest.

Really toxic player with no regard for any other players who made up rulings in Warhammer as well and would berate the other players. Really dark comments as well about suicide/murders etc.

Apparently he's even worse with others because I'm kinda of a big guy who lays down the law to prevent this type of stuff and can't really be intimidated. I've seen physical fights break out over geek type games lol.

I'm not sure what exactly he did as I haven't had a chance to speak with store owner due to Covid alert levels and tonight's D&D is cancelled. He did go up to a previous employer of store owner and berate them as well for something that's not his business.

Thing is I live in a student city and used to train younger magic players and help then out etc. That's how I found out about his behavior in a different city. Hell one of them runs the bar over the street from gamestore.

Hell one of the guys running one if the larger facebook groups grew up over the road from me as kids. Word gets around. Hell he might get blacklisted from every major population center in the country.

 

[R_J_K75]

Hell he might get blacklisted from every major population center in the country.

Sounds like he deserves it.